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PODCAST

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

I’m Anna Runkle, also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and I teach people to recognize and heal the symptoms of Childhood PTSD. Welcome to my podcast!I’m not a doctor or therapist; I know about childhood trauma because I lived it, and I discovered a radical approach to healing that focuses first on calming neurological dysregulation, which is common in people who grew up with abuse and neglect. In my podcasts, I teach about dysregulation – how to know if you have it, what it can do to

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All Episodes

20:42

Trauma Is a Portal Where Evil Gets In, Unless You...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/09

Most experts don't talk about this, but there's a very real phenomenon in the world that is commonly known as Evil. And while it's not scientific, it's recognized in all peoples, all countries, across history. It's metaphysical, but shows up tangibly in the form of abuse and neglect of children. We don't want to risk passing on the evil that was done to us: In this video, I share with you one of my most powerful videos, about the evil nature of abuse, and why healing is necessary on

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95:38

Neglect in Childhood and Self-Sabotage (4-Video...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/08

It’s common in our culture for people to sleep together almost as soon as they meet. And people act like that’s fun and easy, and only foolish people can’t handle it, or think it should be avoided, in favor of something better. So for people who grew up neglected and abused, there’s a contradiction – their attachment wound is crying for someone to love them and STAY and not leave, but the culture of casual sex tells them this is too much to expect. In this video, I share four of my most

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18:10

Stop Rationalizing the Way You Get Mistreated in...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/06

Children are brilliant at rationalizing how a parent could simultaneously LOVE them, but also hurt, punish and abandon them. As children we had to make it all fit in our minds but if you’re STILL doing this as an adult – and a lot of us get stuck in that pattern – you may have gotten stuck in "cognitive dissonance. "That’s the psychology term for the mental disturbance and stress you feel when you vaguely realize that what you’re experiencing – and the story you TELL yourself about what

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20:22

Could THIS Be Why SO Many People Treat You Badly?

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/04

A huge problem for many of us with CPTSD (definitely for me) is that we end up with too many MEAN people in our lives. These can be friends, relatives, co-workers, relatives, neighbors, bosses and partners. They criticize you, they ridicule you, they ostracize you, underestimate you and they say terrible things about you that turn people against you. It may feel like you have no control over how you get treated. And while you might complain about their terrible treatment of you, you may

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14:42

You Can’t Shake the Feeling That Everything is TEMPORARY

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/02

There’s this trauma-driven behavior where you go through life without ever quite investing in permanent or even long-term things -- relationships, jobs, groups you belong to and even your own home may all feel like a stepping stone, a rest stop – a temporary thing. And a lot of us who lived through abuse and neglect in childhood have been walking around like this, thinking it was a personal failure of some kind. My letter today is from a woman I’ll call Marti, and she's trying to break

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87:16

How to Tell Trauma Is Driving You to Pull Away...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/12/01

Growing up in a chaotic and dysfunctional family can leave you with a wounded ability to connect. And while some traumatized people respond to things that trigger connection wounds by clinging to relationships, you might respond by running away. This is AVOIDANCE. And If you've ever fled from a partner, or a friend or family member who cared about you, you know how painful this is -- how intense the need is in the moment, and how terrible it feels later. In this 4-video compilation, I share

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21:16

The Pros and Cons of Settling Down With Someone You...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/29

It’s a no brainer to stay away from people who have betrayed you and drained you of the love you used to feel. But sometimes, there are reasons why you might think twice about returning to someone who’s decidedly NOT the love of your life. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who thinks it may be time to settle down with an ex who mistreated her.16 CPTSD Behaviors That Sabotage Your Success: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3mmvYdA 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED:

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27:25

“Cool-Girli-sm,” Magical Thinking and Limerence Keep...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/27

You might THINK you are ready for real love but if you’re pouring ALL your emotional and romantic energy into someone who is stringing you along, not available, and has been clear they DON’T want a relationship, it’s time to wake up. My letter today is from a woman who is aputting a giant wall between herself and the possibility of love.How to Tell if Someone is Partner Material?: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3YBwKkj 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED: https://bit.ly/4dtGVze Take my

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20:45

How Trauma Makes Your Productivity Come in BURSTS

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/25

“Productivity Crash” is a term I made up for a phenomenon I see over and over again, where those of us who lived through trauma as children demonstrate a capacity for huge accomplishments -- but then they're followed by collapses in our ability to focus, be on time, or get anything done. It feels like someone took our batteries out! What is that? I’m bringing back here one of my most popular videos about why our productivity goes up, and then goes DOWN - and what you can do to get off the

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75:52

Why Traumatized People Can't See RED FLAGS (4-video...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/24

If you grew up with trauma, there's a high probability that you've become emotionally attached to people who bring trouble into your life. Either they are unavailable, not into you, inappropriate, or abusive. But the trouble with childhood PTSD is that it can leave you with a broken "red flag detector." Nervous system changes caused by early abuse and neglect can leave you with difficulty reading the intentions of people you meet, or whether they are safe. In this 4-video compilation, I

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34:34

Here’s What It Takes to Face the Truth and Step Up...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/22

Living with your own self-defeating behaviors goes on so long sometimes, that when you even THINK of changing your life, you feel panicked. Many of us see what we need to change before we feel ready to take action. But be careful you don't stay frozen and stuck, waiting until you feel "ready." Soon your future starts to pull on you, drawing you forward, showing you what you must face, whether you feel ready to see it or not. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who grew up with

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17:06

Childhood Neglect And The Attraction to Partners Who...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/20

It’s a terrible thing when parents ignore and neglect a child for whom attention, love and security are just as important as food and water and oxygen. If you grew up starved for comfort, you may find yourself now, as an adult, trying to make do in relationships where you get almost nothing back. And the hardest part is, you can’t let go. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman whose parents physically and emotionally abandoned her, and now she pines for a man who doesn't care for

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33:19

Why Your Traumatized Self CRAVES ORDER

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/18

When you’ve lived through abuse, neglect, bullying, hardship and getting ostracized, it becomes hard to think. Your life gets chaotic. Your feelings overwhelm you. It’s hard to keep track of time or take proper care of yourself. And your space gets cluttered. What your wounded self is craving is *order,* where all the elements of your life can fall into place, into a flow that helps you to mentally and emotionally, function and to physically re-regulate. I’ll show you a simple exercise to

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85:10

Obsessive Love and Limerence Ruin Real Hope of Love...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/17

Your mind plays tricks on you when you fall in love with someone who says flat out they don’t want a relationship. This absent character, present only as an electronic voice or a digital image but never as a real person at your side who loves you -- can be the perfect blank canvas for lament fantasies. “If only we could be together…” that’s what the limerent thinks, never doing the math to understand that the person clearly, openly strongly tells you that will never happen. In this 4-video

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15:43

Your Affair is Over But The Damage Is Still There

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/15

It’s easy to think that when a period of intense trauma in your life is over, you should be fine. But the trouble is, AFTER traumatic experiences you can be extremely vulnerable, not just to people who want to manipulate you, but to your own, trauma-driven pattern of self-deception. Healing takes time, and sometimes the gravity of your mistakes becomes real to you later. In this video, I respond to a woman searching for ways to overcome the guilt she feels in the aftermath of an affair.Is

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26:11

If You Work Hard to Heal But Happiness Is Nowhere in...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/13

Everybody loves transformation stories where someone has a horrible life of struggle and addiction and trauma – and then ONE good thing happens and EVERYTHING is happy ever after. It sounds good on social media but does not help those of us who are trying to FREE ourselves from the trauma-driven problems of the past. In reality, the wounds of trauma are still there even after you begin changing your life. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has worked hard to heal but

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62:50

It Takes Inner Power to Do the Work and Change Your Life

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/11

Trauma during childhood can teach you to "give away your power" through self-destructive tendencies, people pleasing, and an urge to flee conflict, responsibility, and intimacy. To heal trauma, you need your POWER. Here, I share a hugely popular video from my archives on the steps to take to build the stamina, resilience and insight needed to sustain the work of healing Childhood PTSD.Try the FREE Daily Practice Course: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3Y4263I 🟢 Order My New Book,

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84:36

The Real Reason Your Trauma Symptoms Come Back...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/10

When we're talking about trauma, a "trigger" is a stimulus that sets off Childhood PTSD symptoms -- in particular, dysregulation. In this 4-video compilation I share four of my most popular videos about common - but often overlooked -- triggers that YOU may be experiencing now. When you learn to calm your triggers, your life gets freer and more choices are open to you. Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download: https://bit.ly/3X9MZ7J 🟢 Order My New Book, RE-REGULATED:

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14:59

If Marriage and Kids are What You Want, Here’s What...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/08

If your heart's desire is to marry a man and have children but you keep dating men who don't want quite the same thing, it helps to get VERY clear about what you want and to change the way you date. In this video, I respond to a letter from a woman who has been sabotaging what she really wants in long-term relationships that can't bring her the future she seeks. Hear my clear advice for how to change the pattern and date in a way that supports the creation of the lasting, committed love and

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25:42

Why “Just Going with the Flow” Falls Short of Giving...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/11/06

We’re surrounded by the noise of IDEAS about how to live life – “it’s all about self-discipline,” “just let go,” – “Do senseless acts of kindness” – “learn the joy of saying no.” All these ideas are in conflict with each other, so if you don’t have a burning light inside of who you are, they all just lead to confusion and emptiness. And this is especially true for people who were punished or ostracized by their families – emotionally neglected and “directionally neglected” by parents who

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