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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

16:11

Koparion, the Surgical Knife

Paleo Bites ·

2022/06/28

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koparion) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Koparion, a really old member of its family that's known by its teeth, kind of like my great uncle from Oregon we all try to avoid. From the Late Jurassic, this 3-foot troodontid is getting paleontologists ever so close to discovering that elusive Jurassic era dromaeosaurid, but alas, we have not found it yet, just close relatives. Paleontology's like your crush sometimes: mysterious,

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27:05

Paraceratherium, the Near Hornless Beast

Paleo Bites ·

2022/06/21

(image source: https://animals.fandom.com/wiki/Paraceratherium) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Paraceratherium, a huge mammal that looked like the result of a mad scientist combining a rhino, giraffe, and elephant into one. From the Oligocene epoch, this 22-foot-tall indricothere is perhaps the largest land mammals could ever get due to their endothermy and bone density... and yet they're still nowhere near the size of the biggest dinosaurs. Once more, dinosaur superiority

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23:41

Stegouros, the Roof Tail

Paleo Bites ·

2022/06/14

(image source: https://bit.ly/3xmzAyh) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Stegouros, a dinosaur that decided club tails or spike tails weren't cool enough so it went with a mace tail, and let's be honest, it's pretty frigging cool. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot ankylosaurid had enough of predator's crap and smashed its spikey mace-tail-thingy directly into their hearts and ruptured their internal organs... at least if this was a movie. In real life it probably just

en

19:58

Australovenator, the Southern Hunter

Paleo Bites ·

2022/06/07

(image source: https://bit.ly/3thtE8t) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Australovenator, an Australian predatory dinosaur, which is kind of obvious when hearing its name, so I don't know why I bothered to say that. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot megaraptoran theropod was retroactively added into Walking with Dinosaurs as the "dwarf allosaur" after its description in 2009, proving the BBC have the gift of foresight. They should have a crack at that whole future

en

24:28

Gastonia, of Robert Gaston

Paleo Bites ·

2022/05/31

(image source: https://bit.ly/3kssKkC) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gastonia, a dinosaur with a French-sounding name despite being American; kind of like French fries, except those actually originated in Belgium. From the Early Cretaceous, this 18-foot nodosaurid is the source of many a Disney joke, including in this very episode, so listen to hear some! I bet you can already predict ten of them. God, this show’s so cringey. (Apologies about the bad audio quality

en

30:40

Homo erectus, the Upright Man

Paleo Bites ·

2022/05/24

(image source: https://reinoanimalia.fandom.com/es/wiki/Homo_erectus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Homo erectus, an early form of human whose name makes us all giggle hearing it, and don’t you dare deny it. From the Late Pleistocene, this 5-foot-tall hominid was the first human to speak, wield fire, develop tools, and even take on seafaring, which is all amazing and fascinating stuff… never mind, you’re still snickering about its name, aren’t you? Eh, me too. Hehe, gay

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25:40

Leaellynasaura, the Lizard of Leaellyn

Paleo Bites ·

2022/05/17

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Leaellynasaura_new_118a.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Leaellynasaura, a genus name damn hard to spell and even harder to say due to that blasted “e-a-e” at the beginning. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 4-foot ornithopod dealt with harsh winter conditions and frozen hellscapes, which is kind of odd for a dinosaur. Then again, dinosaurs dealt with snow all the time; it wasn’t all jungles and lava back then! Only

en

22:14

Archaeoindris, the Ancient Indris Lemur

Paleo Bites ·

2022/05/10

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archaeoindris) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Archaeoindris, the lemurs’ answer to Gigantopithecus, if that makes a lick of sense. From the Late Pleistocene, this 6-foot paleopropithecid lived its merry lemur life until roughly 2,000 years ago, dying around the same time as Christ Himself. Where’s the Archaeoindris religion then, huh? Who’s to say this lemur didn’t die for our sins?! Ugh, I’m going to Hell for sure. Want to

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26:54

Giraffatitan, the Titanic Giraffe

Paleo Bites ·

2022/05/03

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/500px-Giraffatitan_3380.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Giraffatitan, an African longneck that paleontologists previously confused with Brachiosaurus, which is odd, as its name clearly says it’s a titanic giraffe. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot sauropod lays claim to the tallest mounted skeleton in the world, thanks to its display in the Berlin Museum. Wow, that truly is a big giraffe. Titanic, one might say

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21:23

Ichthyostega, the Fish Roof

Paleo Bites ·

2022/04/26

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ichthyostegalia) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Ichthyostega, one of the first vertebrates to crawl onto land, so if you hate modern things like war, taxes, or reality shows, you can blame this guy. From the Late Devonian, this 5-foot stegocephalian inadvertently paved the path forward for all land vertebrates including humanity. Kind of like that time in 1918 a Private had a limping soldier in his sights and refused to shoot

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28:23

Pendraig, the Chief Dragon

Paleo Bites ·

2022/04/19

(image source: https://bit.ly/3J7dSSK by James Robbins) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Pendraig, a little Welsh dinosaur that’s a bit small and ordinary for a creature named after the legendary King Arthur bloodline, but good on it for having ambition. From the Late Triassic, this 3-foot coelophysid was merely the predecessor of all the great dinosaurs to come, meaning this thing was probably named more after Arthur’s father Uther. You know, the guy who banned magic from

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28:21

Bos primigenius, the Aurochs

Paleo Bites ·

2022/04/12

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/vincelongo0700/prehistoric-animals/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Bos primigenius, the ancestral cattle and progenitor to all those burgers and milkshakes you love, unless you’re vegetarian or lactose intolerant. From the Late Pleistocene to Early Holocene, this 7-foot bovine roamed the Ice Age prairies and survived beyond its mammoth and wooly rhino companions, only to immediately get roped into human agriculture and butchered

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26:49

Dravidosaurus, the Lizard of the Dravidanadu Region

Paleo Bites ·

2022/04/05

(image sources: https://bit.ly/3tpvuVj and https://bit.ly/3KTLmoO) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Dravidosaurus, a controversial fossil that’s either a stegosaur or a plesiosaur; you know, those two basically identical animals. From the Late Cretaceous, this 10-foot reptile has gone back and forth between identities so much it’s basically a superhero. And like a good superhero, which one’s the mask, and which one’s the true identity? I’m deep, guys. Want to further

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18:35

Postosuchus, the Crocodile of Post

Paleo Bites ·

2022/03/29

(image source: https://bit.ly/34JG3sD) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Postosuchus, the top predator of its habitat that loved to munch on early dinosaurs before its morning coffee. From the Late Triassic, this 20-foot rauisuchian was one of those crocodylomorph archosaurs that ruled before the dinosaurian archosaurs took over after the Triassic-Jurassic extinction. Boy, this must be all Greek to non-dino fans, huh? And dino fans too, since “morph” and “archo” are

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28:36

Therizinosaurus, the Scythe Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2022/03/22

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Therizinosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Therizinosaurus, a dinosaur that looked like a house-sized goose with claws bigger than your torso, AKA the most terrifying animal ever. From the Late Cretaceous, this 35-foot maniraptoran theropod was initially identified as a giant turtle, because paleontologists are silly sometimes. Then again, imagine one of the ninja turtles with claws like these. That’d be pretty scary

en

29:15

Chasmosaurus, the Gulfed Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2022/03/15

(image source: https://bit.ly/3AB1CHs) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Chasmosaurus, a big-headed horned dinosaur with an even bigger head than most other horned dinosaurs; seriously, look at that big head, look at it! From the Late Cretaceous, this 16-foot ceratopsian had a really, really big head. Not like Torosaurus or Pentaceratops big, but bigger than Triceratops or Styracosaurus for sure. Ugh boy, if you’re not into dinosaurs, this show must be absolute nonsense

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26:06

Khaan, the Lord of McKenna

Paleo Bites ·

2022/03/08

(image source: https://bit.ly/3r2AJsI) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Khaan, a bizarre feathered dinosaur that, much like an aardvark or the Scarlet Letter, has an extra “A” that it really shouldn’t; that was an English major joke, folks. From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot oviraptorosaur was found with another individual alongside it, and thus the holotype is informally known as Romeo and Juliet. Awww. They probably killed themselves after thinking or seeing the

en

21:11

Iberomesornis, the Spanish Intermediate Bird

Paleo Bites ·

2022/03/01

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Iberomesornis-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Iberomesornis, a tiny Mesozoic bird with teeth and claws but also a beak and no tailbones, almost like evolution exists or something. From the Early Cretaceous, this 6-inch enantiornithine theropod coexisted with pterosaurs while watching them with sneaky eyes, knowing eventually they’d take over their throne as the dominant flying vertebrates. Or their perch, since, you

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28:22

Platybelodon, the Flat Spear Tusk

Paleo Bites ·

2022/02/22

(image source: https://bit.ly/3HcF8iE) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Platybelodon, a scoop-tusked elephant relative that proves duckbilled creatures aren’t limited to hadrosaurs and platypi… or ducks. From the Miocene epoch, this 6-foot-tall proboscid stripped bark off trees like a giant beaver, and may have also scooped water plants from rivers like a hippo, but that theory is outdated currently. Ugh, why must science change?! I hate change! I want things to stay the

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25:40

Ludodactylus, the Toy Pterodactyl

Paleo Bites ·

2022/02/15

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ludodactylus by FunkMonk) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Ludodactylus, a pterosaur that’s been accidentally depicted in toys of Pteranodon for decades due to having the crest of Pteranodon as well as teeth which Pteranodon lacked. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot-wingspan anhanguerid proves that nature can sometimes be just as interesting as human imagination. I wonder if we’ll find out those DIno Rider toys are also

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320 results

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