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PODCAST

The Nuance Diaries

Alexa Juanita Jordan

What sensitive, deeply feeling people are thinking but don’t say. AKA the stuff you usually save for the group chat. Consider my vulnerability a permission slip for yours. thenuancediaries.substack.com

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

1:05

The Waves are Calling

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/10/30

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thenuancediaries.substack.comI wrote this song before and after one of the worst anxiety attacks of my life. The first verse or so came to me on the F train, coming home from Gowanus, Brooklyn. And then the rest came to me very quickly, almost 24 hours later, when I was back in my body.It was the first time that I had really, really intense physical anxiety that wasn’t accompanied by depression. They are the best of friends, depression

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15:17

The Least Problematic Woman In The World Inspired My...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/10/16

Dylan Mulvaney didn’t change her name when she transitioned — but her one-woman show inspired me to change mine. The name of my newsletter, that is.Dylan briefly discusses nuance at the end of her iconic one-woman show, The Least Problematic Woman in the World. Something about hearing that word, in the context she presented it in felt like a lightbulb moment.I was like, ‘Oh, right, nuance. This very nuanced world we’re living in.”I really can’t tell you how I jumped from that thought to, “I should

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0:35

Salt Air

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/10/14

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thenuancediaries.substack.comIf you’re new here, welcome! Here inside the nuance diaries (formerly Wild Cozy Free), I write the things that highly observant, deeply feeling people are thinking, but rarely say aloud. Writing is how I attempt to make sense of this sharp, messy, imperfect, wild world.Paid subscribers ($7/month) get at least one essay each week + access to my archive of 140+ posts and podcasts + other fun perks, while free

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16:32

The Best Showgirls are a Wicked Kind of Wonderful pt. 1

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/10/10

If you’re new here, welcome! Here inside the nuance diaries (formerly Wild Cozy Free), I write the things that highly observant, deeply feeling people are thinking, but rarely say aloud. Writing is how I attempt to make sense of this sharp, messy, imperfect, wild world.Paid subscribers ($7/month) get at least one essay each week + access to my archive of 140+ posts and podcasts + other fun perks, while free subscribers get an occasional free essay (like today’s!) and previews of paid ones (like

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14:16

The Surprising Reason I Love Bushwhacking

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/10/07

People are often taken aback when I talk about my time at The Mountain School. I don’t really blame them; if I met me, I would probably be surprised that I’d spent four months on a farm in Vermont when I was 16, too.But I did. And I loved it.I loved seeing the stars at night. I loved the community that my semester formed. I even grew to love the animals that horrified me at first. (I still don’t get too close to cows, goats, or chickens. I give them their space - we respect each other.) I found out

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11:59

Taylor Swift Isn't Going to Save the World

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/09/30

The swiftie in me kind of died writing that. But it’s true. She can’t. To be clear, Taylor has saved my world many times over. I vividly remember hearing ‘Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind’ in my childhood/teenage bedroom, and being forever changed.And yet, as powerful as Taylor’s music has been for me, she alone cannot save the world, and we have to stop acting like it.We have to stop acting like Taylor could end wars and genocides with social media posts, rallies,

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11:46

Storybook Undone: Behind the Lyrics

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/09/24

I wrote the song Storybook Undone almost exactly two years ago after signing a copy of the Best Women’s Stage Monologues of 2022, an anthology in which I’m featured.Here in this book you will find 70 very diverse monologues written for women. These pieces present great acting challenges, and actors will have the pleasure of sinking their teeth into this sublime material while continuing to perfect their craft in their online or in-person workshops. The monologues all come from plays. Read these

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6:44

Please Stay, Please Stay, Please Stay

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/09/10

I am *not* a licensed mental health professional.RESOURCES available at AFSP and 988 and NAMI and one of my favorite resources for Black women and non-binary individuals, The Loveland Foundation. (These are also copied again at the end of the post.)Today is suicide prevention day. As I sit here writing this, it’s the night before. I had no idea that today was the exact day, as I was writing all this- truly. Eerie.I was going to publish this another time, but now I feel like it has to be today.I

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14:59

Once Upon a Time in a Wild Cozy Free Ocean

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/08/13

Remember when we would go back to school in September and talk about what we did that summer? If I had to answer that question today, in the context of how I spent my summer on Substack, here’s what I’d say – I did construction work on a beach. Huh? (That’s what I imagine my fellow classmates would say.) What I mean is, I built a seawall. You what? Okay, okay. Let me explain. Paywalls are often thought of as barriers that keep people out. Sea walls are literally built to contain the ocean in

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3:12

When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/07/25

Do I at least remind you of every girl that made you mad?Florence and The Machine, Dream Girl EvilDear Men,When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well of rageYou are tossing a pebble into a fiery, red-hot pond filled to the brim with righteous anger.Maybe you don’t deserve to be the target of our rage (that day, at least.)Maybe our reaction is out of proportion. Maybe the rage doesn’t fit the crime. But like I said. When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well of rageTossing a pebble

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10:55

The most powerful thing about surrendering to hotel...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/07/11

I wouldn’t have said that I was a Frankie Grande fan before today. Not out of animosity, but unfamiliarity. I only knew him as Ariana Grande’s very funny, supportive older brother.I learned more about Frankie throughout the Wicked press tour, as I continue to learn more about Ariana. Before Wicked came out, I mostly knew her through her hit songs. After falling in love with her performance in Wicked, I went down the rabbit hole quite a bit. Hampstead is now one of my favorite songs ever.Suffice it

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6:02

You’re Free to Think Whatever You Want About Me

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/07/06

Hello!I’m writing/recording this around 7 or 8 PM on Pride Sunday, eating chili on my couch. I could not be more comfortable in my denim and my t-shirt. I'm gonna go on a date in a little bit, but I thought we'd chat first.I feel so free.I feel so good in my body,That’s kind of crazy to say, considering some of the personal stuff I'm going through right now. I'm going through some really, really hard stuff.But in my body at this exact moment, I feel so good and free.For Pride Sunday, I wore this

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8:19

My ancestor's wildest dream is me doing my dishes,...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/06/20

Thank you so much for being here! It would mean so much if you shared this episode with a friend. Here are a few more ways to support my work (all linked) Buy My Book Upgrade Your Subscription Tip Me on VENMO or KO-FI (both linked) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wildcozyfree.substack.com/subscribe

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8:05

"I guess it's no fun to have a heart when we are...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/06/13

Quick announcement - I’ve decided to throw out my strict posting schedule. I’m still going to limit myself to emailing you once a week because I refuse to clutter your inbox. BUT in the meantime, over on Substack, I will be posting as much as I want, whenever I want.What does this actually mean, Alexa?I’ll still show up in your inbox once a week. Sometimes, I’ll post something and opt out of emailing it to you, and it will just show up on the Wild Cozy Free homepage. Whenever I email you, I’ll send

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0:55

can't see where my life is heading, but I can see the...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/06/11

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit wildcozyfree.substack.comI wrote this song about a year ago, and it’s one of my favorite songs I’ve ever written. The phrase “I know I’m working hard, and sometimes I can see it” came from one of my best friends during a conversation about how it can be hard to see our own progress when there’s no tangible ‘proof’ of how hard we’re working.To listen, upgrade to a paid subscription for $7/month or $75/year ($9 off!) at

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25:08

alive

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/05/29

This is without a doubt the scariest thing I’ve ever shared.Every Mental Health Awareness Month, I share something pithy and trite. (Maybe I’m being unfair to myself. Sometimes I post a throwback from the play I wrote about a therapist and her patients.) A lot of people don’t know the parts of my story that I share in this video. And even the people who know have never heard me talk about it like this. (If you know nothing about me at all, maybe start here for an overview.) I’m scared of what people

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24:56

Swimming Like Hell

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/05/02

Hi friends. It’s been a minute. Many minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months since I last published anything here.I have been doing a lot of writing and stopping and starting and stopping and rewriting and musing on what my first post back would be. I haven’t published anything personal that really speaks to what's going on with me in a while.I feel almost paralyzed with anxiety every time I sit down to write to you. I’ve gotten teary more than once. I get a few paragraphs in, and then I stop and

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15:03

The Black Becky Bloomwood

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/02/02

LINKS MENTIONEDhttps://www.sophiekinsella.co.uk Alexa's FB MarketplaceAuthenticity and Money Conversation w/Melissa MittEssay I Wrote About Selling My CoffeetableRead the full essay/transcript at wildcozyfree.substack.com. Excerpt below! “OK don't panic.”Books 1-6 in Sophie Kinsella’s brilliant Shopaholic series all start with those three words except for the one that begins with,"OK. I can do this, no problem."Some of Sophie Kinsella’s stand-alone novels start in a similar tone. The first line of

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5:58

An Ode to Sammy Rae and the Friends & The Girl Who...

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/01/26

I am in my own lane I will not let myself downI am in my own place, I am my own houseI’m sitting on my living room floor on a chilly January Sunday. I just sold a coffee table I’ve never really liked, to a recent college graduate who loves it. She’s furnishing her first New York City apartment.I’ve been wanting to sell this table for a while, so I’m thrilled that it’s finally sold. And yet, I imagined I’d still be a little sad to walk back into my apartment and see the empty space where the table

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9:26

I'm over society's obsession with January

The Nuance Diaries ·

2025/01/21

Hi friends. Happy New Year. Like me, I’m sure you’ve been inundated with all the ‘New Year New Me’ newsletters, gym memberships, etc. telling you how 2025 is going to be your year. Rather than cut through the noise, I decided to just wait it out and stay in holiday cocoon mode a little while longer. But now that I’m here in your inbox, I couldn’t be more excited to tell you about my new framework for becoming your real self, setting real goals, and making real changes in your life. It’s unlike

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