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PODCAST

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan

Alexa Juanita Jordan

Conversations with people I admire about what authenticity means to them. thenuancediaries.substack.com

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

16:12

The “Wise Beyond Her Years” to “You’re Amazing” Pipeline

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/12/17

“I’m tired of being amazing. I don’t want to be amazing anymore.”The single sentence becomes the crux of the show and of modern motherhood. Jenny Kaminski (Dakota Fanning), a hardworking publishing executive, meets Marissa when they’re hiding out in the bathroom at a school event. The two forge a friendship over twinning in the same dress and dealing with the same dilemma. They are tired of the platitudes their husbands serve them, of doing it all at home and at work, and being told they can have it

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7:42

Kind Eyes on the Lower East Side

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/12/08

I saw a stranger with really kind eyes a few months ago on the Lower East Side.This man with kind eyes looked like he was in love with this girl.I thought to myself, Will anyone like that ever fall in love with me? Would they love me if they knew who I was? What I’d been through? The dark shit clogged inside me? I realized a year or so ago that whenever I pictured my future self, she looked different from how I do now. She had straight long hair, and always looked more together than me. I’ve been

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11:55

Why I'm Not Putting Up My Gigantic Christmas Tree

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/12/04

The basic answer? I don’t want to.If someone wheeled a beautifully decorated tree into my house, I wouldn’t turn them away.If I woke up to a perfectly decorated Hallmark movie-style house in Vermont, I’d be delighted (and also a little terrified that I’d been robbed/kidnapped.) But because life is not a holiday movie, the job of decorator/mover/organizer falls to me. And this year, I’m putting in my notice.I really do historically love the holidays. I love cheesy Christmas movies, gorgeous,

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9:51

My Inner Critic is An Angry Sports Fan

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/12/01

Important housekeeping update over here about paid vs. free subscriptions! I sometimes look in the mirror and think, “Weren’t you supposed to make something of your life by now?”It might sound mean — but it’s one of my tamer negative thoughts.I try to think of all the things I’ve accomplished and the friends I love, who I know love me back.It’s not that I’m not grateful — there’s just this boulder in my path that I keep coming up against again and again and again. And I can’t quite figure out what

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7:59

Why do I love this place that’s never loved me?

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/11/21

I thought I was going to wrap up the “The Best Showgirls are a Wicked Kind of Wonderful” series this week, but after seeing Wicked For Good last night —- that’s not where I am mentally; I want to reflect on this iconic film in a different way. (I will finish that series soon though, don’t worry!)Below is a thread that I posted (on threads, where I’m posting more commentary) before passing out on my couch last night. I woke up to thousands of likes and reposts and shares and replies. I’m so grateful

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11:00

How Did We Forget That Famous People Are Human?

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/11/14

I hate this part of internet culture where something happens and we all immediately want to comment on it and give our hot takes. And I especially hate how quick society is to make light of something very scary and serious just because it happened to a celebrity.I also hate how righteous people can be - as if having a keyboard gives us the right to say what kind of behavior is okay and not okay.I will say, though (at the risk of sounding righteous), that it’s deeply unsettling to be seeing memes

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17:48

What Mamdani's Victory Means to This Native New Yorker

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/11/05

Welcome back to The Nuance Diaries! I write what sensitive, deeply feeling people are thinking but don’t say. AKA the stuff you usually save for the group chat.Free subscribers receive occasional free posts, and paid subscribers ($7/month) receive at least 1-2 essays a week + access to The Authenticity Library + my full archive of 150+ posts.I spent yesterday, November 4th 2025, desperately trying to keep my anxiety at bay.I turned the oven on and forgot to put my dinner in. On the subway, I very

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1:05

The Waves are Calling

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/10/30

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thenuancediaries.substack.comI wrote this song before and after one of the worst anxiety attacks of my life. The first verse or so came to me on the F train, coming home from Gowanus, Brooklyn. And then the rest came to me very quickly, almost 24 hours later, when I was back in my body.It was the first time that I had really, really intense physical anxiety that wasn’t accompanied by depression. They are the best of friends, depression

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15:17

The Least Problematic Woman In The World Inspired My...

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/10/16

Dylan Mulvaney didn’t change her name when she transitioned — but her one-woman show inspired me to change mine. The name of my newsletter, that is.Dylan briefly discusses nuance at the end of her iconic one-woman show, The Least Problematic Woman in the World. Something about hearing that word, in the context she presented it in felt like a lightbulb moment.I was like, ‘Oh, right, nuance. This very nuanced world we’re living in.”I really can’t tell you how I jumped from that thought to, “I should

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0:35

Salt Air

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/10/14

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit thenuancediaries.substack.comIf you’re new here, welcome! Here inside the nuance diaries (formerly Wild Cozy Free), I write the things that highly observant, deeply feeling people are thinking, but rarely say aloud. Writing is how I attempt to make sense of this sharp, messy, imperfect, wild world.Paid subscribers ($7/month) get at least one essay each week + access to my archive of 140+ posts and podcasts + other fun perks, while free

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16:32

The Best Showgirls are a Wicked Kind of Wonderful pt. 1

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/10/10

If you’re new here, welcome! Here inside the nuance diaries (formerly Wild Cozy Free), I write the things that highly observant, deeply feeling people are thinking, but rarely say aloud. Writing is how I attempt to make sense of this sharp, messy, imperfect, wild world.Paid subscribers ($7/month) get at least one essay each week + access to my archive of 140+ posts and podcasts + other fun perks, while free subscribers get an occasional free essay (like today’s!) and previews of paid ones (like

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14:16

The Surprising Reason I Love Bushwhacking

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/10/07

People are often taken aback when I talk about my time at The Mountain School. I don’t really blame them; if I met me, I would probably be surprised that I’d spent four months on a farm in Vermont when I was 16, too.But I did. And I loved it.I loved seeing the stars at night. I loved the community that my semester formed. I even grew to love the animals that horrified me at first. (I still don’t get too close to cows, goats, or chickens. I give them their space - we respect each other.) I found out

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11:59

Taylor Swift Isn't Going to Save the World

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/09/30

The swiftie in me kind of died writing that. But it’s true. She can’t. To be clear, Taylor has saved my world many times over. I vividly remember hearing ‘Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind’ in my childhood/teenage bedroom, and being forever changed.And yet, as powerful as Taylor’s music has been for me, she alone cannot save the world, and we have to stop acting like it.We have to stop acting like Taylor could end wars and genocides with social media posts, rallies,

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11:46

Storybook Undone: Behind the Lyrics

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/09/24

I wrote the song Storybook Undone almost exactly two years ago after signing a copy of the Best Women’s Stage Monologues of 2022, an anthology in which I’m featured.Here in this book you will find 70 very diverse monologues written for women. These pieces present great acting challenges, and actors will have the pleasure of sinking their teeth into this sublime material while continuing to perfect their craft in their online or in-person workshops. The monologues all come from plays. Read these

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6:44

Please Stay, Please Stay, Please Stay

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/09/10

I am *not* a licensed mental health professional.RESOURCES available at AFSP and 988 and NAMI and one of my favorite resources for Black women and non-binary individuals, The Loveland Foundation. (These are also copied again at the end of the post.)Today is suicide prevention day. As I sit here writing this, it’s the night before. I had no idea that today was the exact day, as I was writing all this- truly. Eerie.I was going to publish this another time, but now I feel like it has to be today.I

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14:59

Once Upon a Time in a Wild Cozy Free Ocean

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/08/13

Remember when we would go back to school in September and talk about what we did that summer? If I had to answer that question today, in the context of how I spent my summer on Substack, here’s what I’d say – I did construction work on a beach. Huh? (That’s what I imagine my fellow classmates would say.) What I mean is, I built a seawall. You what? Okay, okay. Let me explain. Paywalls are often thought of as barriers that keep people out. Sea walls are literally built to contain the ocean in

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3:12

When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well...

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/07/25

Do I at least remind you of every girl that made you mad?Florence and The Machine, Dream Girl EvilDear Men,When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well of rageYou are tossing a pebble into a fiery, red-hot pond filled to the brim with righteous anger.Maybe you don’t deserve to be the target of our rage (that day, at least.)Maybe our reaction is out of proportion. Maybe the rage doesn’t fit the crime. But like I said. When you piss a woman off, you are splashing a well of rageTossing a pebble

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10:55

The most powerful thing about surrendering to hotel...

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/07/11

I wouldn’t have said that I was a Frankie Grande fan before today. Not out of animosity, but unfamiliarity. I only knew him as Ariana Grande’s very funny, supportive older brother.I learned more about Frankie throughout the Wicked press tour, as I continue to learn more about Ariana. Before Wicked came out, I mostly knew her through her hit songs. After falling in love with her performance in Wicked, I went down the rabbit hole quite a bit. Hampstead is now one of my favorite songs ever.Suffice it

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6:02

You’re Free to Think Whatever You Want About Me

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/07/06

Hello!I’m writing/recording this around 7 or 8 PM on Pride Sunday, eating chili on my couch. I could not be more comfortable in my denim and my t-shirt. I'm gonna go on a date in a little bit, but I thought we'd chat first.I feel so free.I feel so good in my body,That’s kind of crazy to say, considering some of the personal stuff I'm going through right now. I'm going through some really, really hard stuff.But in my body at this exact moment, I feel so good and free.For Pride Sunday, I wore this

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8:19

My ancestor's wildest dream is me doing my dishes,...

What Authenticity Means To Me, with Alexa Juanita Jordan ·

2025/06/20

Thank you so much for being here! It would mean so much if you shared this episode with a friend. Here are a few more ways to support my work (all linked) Buy My Book Upgrade Your Subscription Tip Me on VENMO or KO-FI (both linked) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit wildcozyfree.substack.com/subscribe

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