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PODCAST

The Erotic Realm

Emma | Psychology of Desire

The Erotic Realm is the world"s leading Erotic Psychology podcast, exploring the psychology of desire, kink, intimacy and erotic identity through conversations with kinksters, researchers, educators and experts.Hosted by Emma, Sexologist and founder of Psychology of Desire, each episode explores the erotic realm of an individual one on one with a deep dive into their erotic psychology.Join Emma and discover what your desires might be trying to teach you.www.psychologyofdesire.com

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All Episodes

01:03:25

#118 Inside the Mind of FetLife Founder John Baku

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/07/21

How do you build the world's largest BDSM community?In this episode I chat down with John Baku, the founder of FetLife, to explore the psychology behind one of the most influential platforms in modern kink.We explore:How FetLife was created.The psychology of building online communities.Why belonging is so important for kinky people.The future of FetLife and BDSM education.Community safety, moderation, and transparency.Advice for people joining FetLife for the first time.Research article: The

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01:04:18

#117 The Erotic Edge: Tantra, Neuroscience &...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/07/17

What if your erotic struggles aren't really about sex but about safety, connection, and your nervous system?In this episode I chat with Amber Ella-Vatrix—conscious kink educator, tantra practitioner, neuroscience-informed facilitator, and creator of The Erotic Edge.We explore:Conscious kink.Tantra and embodied sexuality.Heart-based dominance.Erotic transformation.The sacred prostitute tradition.Trauma, retraumatisation, and safety.Research article: Polyvagal Theory: A Science of Safety.Supporters of

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01:05:31

#116 The Psychology of Super Orgasms: Female...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/07/14

Can some women experience super orgasms?In this episode I chat with down with Mae —educator, former professor, and creator whose work has placed her at the centre of thousands of deeply personal conversations about sexuality, fantasy, insecurity, and pleasure.We explore:Super orgasms and Expanded Sexual Response (ESR).Male sexuality and vulnerability.Consent, communication and respect.Kink and human connection.Sexual confidence.Why pleasure matters more than performance.Research article: Five Cases

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01:22:19

#115 The Psychology of Erotic Power: Midori on...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/07/10

What happens when one of the world's leading sexuality educators spends decades teaching people that power, creativity, and pleasure can coexist?In this episode I sit down with Midori—international sexuality educator, author, artist, and one of the pioneers who introduced Shibari and conscious BDSM to Western audiences.We explore:The psychology of Shibari.Female dominance and leadership.ForteFemme.Creativity and eroticism.Sexuality education.The future of BDSM and Shibari.Research article: Role

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00:47:49

#114 The Science of Curiosity: Brats, Kink & Erotic...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/07/07

What if the most important skill in exploring your sexuality wasn't confidence—but curiosity?In this episode I chat with That_Scientist to explore the psychology of curiosity, brat dynamics, bisexuality, kink education, and why asking better questions may be one of the most powerful tools we have for understanding desire.We explore:The psychology of curiosity.Discovering bisexuality later in life.BDSM and sexual health.Asking better questions.Self-discovery through kink.Erotic psychology.Research

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01:12:44

#113 How to Learn BDSM Safely: Choosing the Right...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/07/03

How do you find good educators of BDSM?In this episode educator and author AncillaL returns to the podcast to explore one of the most important—and surprisingly overlooked—topics in kink: BDSM education.We explore:How to choose a BDSM educator.BDSM mentorship.Communities of practice.Skill-based vs role-based learning.Education versus advertising.Building critical thinking in BDSM.Research article: Kink Community Education: Experiential Learning and Communities of Practice.Connect with

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00:36:27

#112 The Psychology of Switching with Matcha

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/30

What happens when you're both dominant and submissive—and both feel completely authentic?In this episode I chat with Matcha to explore the psychology of switching, the emerging FemDaddy archetype, BDSM identity, power exchange, and the freedom that comes from embracing every side of yourself.We explore: BDSM switches and switch identity.FemDaddy dynamics.Forced feminisation.Gender expression in kink.Communication and empathy.Research article: “Switch it up”: A qualitative analysis of BDSM

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01:07:49

#111 The Psychology of Erotic Permission: Julieta...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/29

What happens when you finally give yourself permission to desire what you truly want?In this episode I chat with sex therapist and Shibari practitioner Julieta Chiara to explore the psychology of submission, women's desire, erotic permission, and the transformative power of saying "yes" to yourself.We explore:Women's desire and sexual permission.Submission and empowerment.Shibari and Japanese rope bondage.Why "your first Dom is you".Pain, presence, and transformation.Research article: Are Role and

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01:05:37

#110 The Psychology of Ecstasy: Barbara Carrellas on...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/23

What if sexuality wasn't simply about pleasure—but about becoming more fully alive?Grab your Splashblanket here - don't forget to use the code eroticrealm at checkout for a 10% discount!In this episode I sit down with legendary sexuality educator Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra and The Book of Ecstasy, to explore tantra, BDSM, conscious sexuality, erotic awakening, and the role pleasure plays in human flourishing.We explore:Sexual flourishing and wellbeing.Non-genital orgasms.Pleasure as a

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00:57:03

#109 The Mommy Domme: Nurturing Dominance, BDSM & the...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/19

What happens when dominance is expressed through care rather than control?In this episode of The Erotic Realm, I sit down with Mistress Mira — professional Dominatrix and Mommy Domme, to explore the psychology of nurturing dominance, BDSM stigma, erotic self-acceptance, and the surprising power of being fully seen.We explore:Mommy Dommes and nurturing dominance.Professional domination vs lifestyle BDSM.BDSM stigma and public misconceptions.Neurodivergence, autism, ADHD and kink.The psychology of

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00:57:11

#108 The Kink Curious Wife: Marriage, Desire & Erotic...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/16

What happens when curiosity about other people's desires leads you to discover your own?In this episode I sit down with J to explore a journey that began with curiosity and evolved into a deeper understanding of kink, intimacy, and erotic identity. Together we discuss her experiences in sex work, her fascination with the psychology of desire, and how joining FetLife to better understand other people's kinks ultimately helped her discover parts of herself she hadn't fully recognised.We explore:Kink

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01:04:34

#107 The Porn Star's Daughter: Unbound Desire,...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/12

What happens when your earliest education about sexuality comes from growing up around the adult industry?In this episode I chat with filmmaker and storyteller Laila Ocean to explore her unique experience of being the daughter of a porn performer, and how that shaped her understanding of sexuality, relationships, stigma, freedom, and desire. Laila is currently creating Unbound, a documentary exploring sexuality, identity, and the human stories behind the adult industry. We discuss what it was

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00:52:37

#106 Beyond Vanilla: An Asexual Dominatrix on Power,...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/09

What happens when BDSM isn't really about sex?In this episode I chat with Ms Hyde — an asexual disciplinarian, BDSM educator, life coach, author, and craftsperson — to explore the psychology of power, discipline, communication, and consent. We explore:Asexuality and BDSM.The psychology of discipline.Therapeutic spanking and meaning-making.Beyond Vanilla and BDSM education.Repair, accountability, and relationship growth.Why pleasure and power are not opposites.Research Article: Making Sense of

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00:56:08

#105 The Nerdy Submissive: Kink, DnD &...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/05

What if the people with the richest erotic lives are often the ones you'd least expect?In this episode I sit down with Sarah—a self-described nerdy submissive to explore the intersection of kink, neurodivergence, fantasy, imagination, and hidden desire. We explore:The psychology of submission.Neurodivergence and kink.Dungeons & Dragons and erotic imagination.Hidden desires and secret erotic worlds.Non-extreme BDSM and everyday kink.Fantasy, belonging, and finding your tribe.Research article:

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01:27:24

#104 The Rope Dominant: Shibari, Power & the...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/06/02

Why do some people describe rope as a pathway into trust, presence, and altered states of consciousness?In this episode I sit down with Mark DeViate — Dominant, rope practitioner, polyamorous relationship veteran, and long-time member of the BDSM community, to explore the psychology of surrender, ethical dominance, and the transformative potential of connection-based kink. We explore:• The psychology of ethical dominance.• Shibari, rope bondage, and surrender.• Topspace, flow states, and altered

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00:50:49

#103 The Trauma-Informed Mistress: Healing, Power and...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/05/29

Can kink help people heal trauma—or is that a dangerous misunderstanding? In this episode I sit down with JDominatrix, a trauma-informed kink educator, Mistress, sadist, and community leader, to explore one of the most debated topics in BDSM: the relationship between trauma, healing, and erotic power. We explore:Trauma-informed approaches to BDSMCan kink become part of healing?Consent, trust, and ethical power exchangeThe psychology of Dominance and submissionRunning a dungeon and teaching

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00:57:43

#102 The Desired Older Woman: Aging, Noetisexuality &...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/05/26

What happens when a woman stops believing the myth that desire belongs only to the young?In this episode I’m joined by Brookiana to explore aging, erotic reinvention, and the psychology of becoming desired again. We explore:Noetisexuality and attraction to intellect and depth.Aging, femininity, and erotic reinvention.Returning to sexuality after abstinence.Why younger men are drawn to emotionally mature women.Writing erotica and reclaiming erotic identity later in life.Research article: Sex and

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00:50:41

#101 The Ecology of Desire: Queer Eroticism, Nature &...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/05/22

What happens when desire is no longer seen as something personal — but something ecological?In this episode I’m joined by SketchySomeone to explore the intersection of queer identity, biology, and erotic connection. We unpack the idea of “the ecology of desire” — where attraction, intimacy, and sexuality are not just internal experiences, but relational processes shaped by our connection to the world around us. We explore:The concept of the ecology of desire.Queer erotics and nature as inherently

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01:03:03

#100 The Choice to Be Owned: Slave Psychology with...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/05/19

What happens when surrender isn’t weakness — but identity?In this episode I’m joined by Daniika — a submissive, masochist, and self-described slave exploring the psychology of power, pain, and total surrender. We explore:The psychology of masochism and meaning in pain.What “slave” and “ownership” actually mean in BDSM.24/7 power exchange in real life.Kink, identity, and the idea of orientation.Neurodivergence, structure, and erotic regulation.Research article: The Kink Orientation Scale:

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01:00:52

#99 The Brat Submissive: Power, Play & the Psychology...

The Erotic Realm ·

2026/05/15

What happens when submission isn’t about obedience — but about play, tension, and choice?In this episode of I’m joined by Jade — a bisexual, bratty submissive navigating the psychological complexity of power, identity, and desire across both kink and swinging spaces. We explore:The psychology of brat energy and boundary play.Submission as choice vs identity.Kink vs swinging: key psychological differences.Navigating marriage alongside a D/s dynamic.Why people may already be engaging in BDSM

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