PODCAST

ICUE&MESH

Turquoise Etoile

Ideals Code of Universal Ethics/Mental Health Ethics & Social Health

science social sciences

All Episodes

3:30

How To Not Feel Victimy

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/07/13

I share my own experience with the situation where I have to bow to the absurd. Please refer to other episodes about how I am handling things at my IOP. I am being covertly mistreated there. But I need the program right now I'm not ready to leave..

8:03

Turquoise is the name

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/07/06

I decided to change my name from Cerol to Turquoise (pronounced tur kwaz) for reasons described in the episode.

9:04

"Confidentiality Rules" Caused Misunderstanding

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/07/04

The result was the loss of a friendship. By the time I got the information necessary to understand someone, I had had to end the friendship.

14:48

Is Turquoise Too Loud For Mental Health Programs?!

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/07/02

I ran into a snag yesterday and I talked about how I noticed other people's reactions to a color that I wore to the IOP program. Unspoken reactions to possibly offensive behavior. Being an inquisitive individual is not easy especially when it's combined with the mental illness! You get called paranoid you get invalidated you get turned away. I was offended yesterday when I thought I was being snubbed for using something that helped my mental health such as a color.

12:30

Take Your Medicine - She's NOT INTERESTED.

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/07/01

I talk about the concept of hitting a "restore button" in our brains. I think about going back to February 10th when Olga, my limerent interest, asked if she could call me again after our initial phone date that day. Her not calling me the next day spoke volumes and I should have listened.

13:25

Limerence Recovery: One Last Text. REALLY.

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/29

Closure is exactly what it is. It's closure. It's not wishful thinking. I sent Olga one last text and walked away. I may have to run into her when I'm checking the group posts at IOP because the posting is in the patio where she sometimes still sits for her lunch. But I am making a very big effort to do no contact from now on because of the way she acted last Thursday. That was the deal-breaker that was the last straw. That was the last reminder that I'm living in a fantasy. Time for me to face

13:18

Love: How Many Times Must I Learn This Lesson?

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/28

Falling over and over again with Olga. When this time I thought she reached out to me. So I reached back and fell again.

2:25

My Self-Protective Plan: Refuse Lunch

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/26

I share my own experience and not telling anyone else to try what I'm doing. The point that I'm driving home here is feeling dignified and every person has their own way of doing that. Please consult with a trusted individual and brainstorm with them or do your own research on dealing with covert narcissistic abuse, as you are listening to this.

14:20

Guilty Until Proven Innocent, And Narcissist Hoovering

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/25

I talked about my ongoing situation where I feel hooked on a situation and unable to let go of it for the time being. I describe the dynamics and the forces that are keeping me this way. This is classic behavior of a narcissist or a toxic environment that we're trying to get out of but are unable to.

14:27

Trying to Leave IOP Again

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/24

I discuss another litany of their behavior towards me. I began once again to suspect it was because that I'm I'm lgbtq+. Their latest excuse is that "my insurance doesn't cover the food and transportation". I inquired if it was the hospital paying for it and got no answer. I asked another trusted resource and they said that the patient was responsible for paying for additional services such as food and transportation. Most of us are on government health insurance. I don't think that's true. Even if

13:17

Why We Should Document Abuse Incidents

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/21

What's the first word we hear, in our minds, when we hear the word "document"? "Record"? Well that might be illegal in some states. "Share it with a legal person"? Not always. I talked about how documenting at least to ourselves can help us stay in reality about the things that happened to us and what was done to us.

9:49

They're Using My *Basic Needs*, To Attack Me 🍱 😢

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/21

Please take care. Before you play this video understand this may be disturbing. Once again I reiterate how real the abuse is still happening in mental health care. I share my experience.

9:47

Are you in recovery or are you being extreme?

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/18

I practice five modules of mental wellness and I'm careful to avoid the shadow sides of each module. This episode is about how I explained that. Is our mental wellness process authentic or are we practicing the shadow modules: extremism, perfectionism, entitlement, spiritual bypass, health anxiety or health extremism? Let's be sure that we are practicing authentic modules of mental wellness: purpose, accountability, validation of self and others, safe process of emotions and thoughts, and authentic

14:19

Kindness Is Boring?

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/15

Kindness will save our world and us. Can you imagine what the world would really be like if it were always interesting? I think we would crash and burn. I truly do. In this episode I talk about how I was bullied in group therapy because someone saw me as boring and domineering. I also talked about it being a form of covert abuse when vague language is used in The bullying tactic. There's also mention of ending here I want you all to be safe and call 988 in the United States or talk to a trusted

11:23

Ghosted? Distanced? Wish They Would Share?

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/11

If someone is being lukewarm to you or cold or cool to you while you're being hot or warm to them, learn to give them the same treatment they're giving you. Stop having fantasies about it working out. It's very likely they don't want to deal with you. Face this cold hard truth and take care of yourself. They're not worth it. You are. Here's the link to my other podcast if you want to know anything else about what's going on between Olga and me: https://open.spotify.com/show/...

6:47

I Can't Believe I Thought He Actually CARED.

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/06

Last night I found a voicemail from my counselor asking me "if I was okay" and "do you need any support..." etc. Hoping remotely that I could reach someone human there, at last, I left him a message stating that I was suspicious of being dogged out by a phone block from the desk lady. Radio silence the next day. And no call from Olga either, the woman that I had attempted to befriend. Chapter closed. The end. Crying. Disgusted.

11:56

Being A Loner And Disconnected Again

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/05

I share my experience with not being able to connect with a woman I met at IOP that I was hoping could still be friends with me and letting her go. I also share a little bit about isolation and how important it is to fix our "picker" , as we go out again and be around people.

12:16

Time Management And Mental Illness

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/03

Many of us that suffer from mental illness, and myself who suffers from complex PTSD and depression and anxiety, have considerable issues with time management. I share my experience.

11:40

ICUE&MESH - TREAT PSYCHIATRIC PATIENTS WITH RESPECT

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/06/01

Leaving IOP because my phone got blocked, they got angry with me for reporting and checking on repairs with a stall door lock in the bathroom, they forgotten to pick me up on my admission day back in October and they got angry with me for self-transporting! Of all the audacity and the denial of what that Mental Health providers sometimes still do to clients.

5:07

Whatever is necessary - ICUE&MESH

ICUE&MESH ·

2024/05/30

To put my ideas out there. There is a need for mental health for all and I can do it!

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ICUE&MESH

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