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PODCAST

Mistakes Were Made

Non monogamy for imperfect people. Hosted by a queer therapist and her husband of 15 years. Sarah & Alex share their experiences opening their marriage, and interview guests about the struggles & rewards of doing relationships your own way. Mistakes Were Made is part advice, part confession, part culture critique. But it"s all about learning from our missteps and stumbling toward liberation. Follow us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/. Logo design by roy franklin of the Whatever

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

01:18:02

Ep 41: Romance and Polyamory

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/08/09

Romance: what does it mean?? Sarah, Alex and Jess talk about their favorite romantic movies on the hottest day of the year. And finally answer the question: what IS romance? Or, do they just come up with 5,000 new questions? Listen to the end to find out! Mentioned in the episode: Say Anything (Cameron Crowe, 1989) The Graduate (Mike Nichols, 1967) Wayne’s World (Penelope Spheeris, 1992) John Mahoney Limerence on Wikipedia In Your Eyes mistakescast@gmail.com *

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01:18:14

Ep 40: Gen Poly with Mattise Wood

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/07/19

Are the youngs living in queer poly utopia or what? Sarah and Alex recruit their 20 something barista, Mattise Wood, to find out. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by eroyn franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

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54:00

Ep 39: Polyamory Pitfalls - LIVE Episode!

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/06/28

Special live episode featuring some of our favorite mistakes. Recorded May 9, 2024 in Seattle, WA. Check out the slides from the live episode: https://www.mentimeter.com/app/presentation/n/alkskyvkpq54ehb844w3r2oejcjo4d6a/present Evergreen hearts on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EvergreenHeartsOrg Brand new logo by eroyn franklin! www.whateverfactory.org mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

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01:11:31

Ep 38: Relationship Anarchy with Maxx Hill

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/06/15

We finally get to learn about relationship anarchy. Hope you're hungry for a smorgasbord! Maxx Hill, curator of the Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord, joins to talk about the infinite possibilities of how you can "customize your commitments" when you let go of societal expectations. Open the link and follow along! Mentioned in the episode: Relationship Anarchy Manifesto Relationship Anarchy Smorgasbord Maxx Hill, @maxxhillcreates, on Instagram More about Mistakes Were Made: logo design by by

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01:13:11

Ep 37: Poly-tics

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/05/17

Mentioned in the episode: The Atlantic - Polyamory, the Ruling Class’s Latest Fad Time Magazine - Polyamory isn’t just for liberals: The Surprising Political Evolution of American Polyamory More: A Memoir of Open Marriage Stranger in a Strange Land Brand new logo by eroyn franklin! www.whateverfactory.org mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

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01:20:16

Ep 36: Owning Your Desire - Encore Episode

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/04/26

Encore episode! Let’s talk about sex (or die trying)! Sarah and Alex finally attempt to actually discuss sexual dynamics in non-monogamy without laughing or crying. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ An actually useful explanation of how to play the three minute game (since ours went so sideways): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KCzpNBNbVM&t=80s Or download the pamphlet here: https://bettymartin.org/download-wheel/ Don’t miss: Evergreen Hearts - Polyamory Pitfalls -

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01:16:16

Ep 35: Coming Out To Your Community

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/04/05

Who should you tell you're poly??? A death in the family sparks different reactions from Alex and Sarah about how open to be with family and friends. Mentioned in the episode: Evergreen Hearts - Polyamory Pitfalls - Thursday May 9th, 6:30pm The Cut: 5 people tell their coming out stories Business Insider: Coming out as poly is the hardest kind of coming out The Poly Coach: Coming out as polyamorous Feeld: Guide to Coming out as Poly mistakescast@gmail.com *

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01:18:41

Ep 34: Performance Anxiety

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/03/15

Alex wants to talk about performance anxiety….and Sarah really, really doesn’t. Mentioned in the episode: Evergreen Hearts - Polyamory Pitfalls - Thursday May 9th, 6:30pm Cleveland Clinic: Erectile Dysfunction Book: The Ice Storm, by Rick Moody Hump! 2024 National Tour Dates Book: Come as You Are, by Emily Nagoski "5 things you can say to someone who didn't have an org@sm" from @QueerSexTherapy on Instagram mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

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01:24:23

Ep 32: Solo Poly Showdown with Rozie and Tyson

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/02/22

Two local organizers talk about their experiences being solo poly; what they like about it, the challenges, independence, couples privilege and more. Stay tuned for the lightning round! Mentioned in the episode: Puget Sound Polyamory Meetup Group Evergreen Hearts Poly Prom Newcomers Social Connections Speed Dating Puget Sound Polyamory The NY Times says solo poly is just a fancy word for dating around…lol mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

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01:32:50

Ep 32: How Men Can Date Better with Dr. Eric FitzMedrud

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/02/02

Our guest is "Manthropologist" Dr Eric FitzMedrud (okay, we made that title up, he doesn't really call himself that). We asked Dr FitzMedrud to decode Sarah and Jessica's bad dates with men, using tools from his book The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex. Dr FitzMedrud, who is poly and bi, takes a compassionate approach to understanding the patterns men bring to both poly and mono relationships, and helps them unpack their violent socialization, emotional

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01:12:10

Ep 31: Bonus episode: The Gentrification of Polyamory

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/01/29

Special Midnight Mini episode: Polyamory seems to have suddenly gone mainstream, with the New Yorker and New York Magazine running cover stories in the last couple months. Sarah and Alex dig into the icky feelings that came up reading these stories, and realize that it might be about uncomfortable trends that implicate them. Mentioned in the episode: The Cut, New York Magazine: A Practical Guide to Polyamory How did polyamory become so popular? (The New Yorker) American Poly, by Christopher

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01:28:12

Ep 30: Perfecting Your Dating App Profile with Riki...

Mistakes Were Made ·

2024/01/15

The leading researcher into poly dating app usage shares what works and what doesn’t in profiles, gives insights into the trends in non-traditional relationship styles around the country, and defines the dizzying jargon of poly subcultures. Listen until the end to find out what “dexting” means. Sign up for Riki Thompson's workshops and get a 20% discount using the code “Mistakes” https://rikithompson.com/#post-152 Evergreen Hearts Lecture Series Follow Riki on Instagram:

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01:22:49

Ep 29: Are the Kids All Right?

Mistakes Were Made ·

2023/12/25

Should non monogamous parents be “out” to their kids? In this episode Sarah and Alex ask different parents about their approaches to sharing their relationships with their children – from secrecy, to involving secondary partners in parenting – then share mistakes they've made in balancing their feelings and dating schedules with what was developmentally appropriate for their kids. Mentioned in the episode: Do Happy Parents Raise Healthier Kids? Fully automated Luxury Gay Space Communism A

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01:13:38

Ep 28: Your Partner is on a Date... and You Panic

Mistakes Were Made ·

2023/12/04

Sarah and Alex talk about the jealousy and panic that comes up when partners are on dates or trips with others, the roots of those feelings, and how rituals of connection and communication can help. Oh, and also how the film ET is a meta text for polyamory(?) Mentioned in the episode: https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/s/2HFb3BywGM https://www.reddit.com/r/nonmonogamy/s/8SvfUvZord "Recovery can take place only within the context of relationships; it cannot occur in isolation" --Judith Lewis

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01:05:29

Ep 27: Cowboys, Tourists and Triangulation

Mistakes Were Made ·

2023/11/13

Alex’s partner leaves him for monogamy, sparking a conversation about cowboy-ing, triangulation and attachment. Mentioned in the episode: PolyPhilia: https://www.instagram.com/polyphiliablog/ Attachment Panic, the album by Alex & Sarah’s alt country band: https://open.spotify.com/album/2zrOxbFLVA4Y4L3m9Cjamq mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

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01:11:35

Ep 26: Outgrowing Non-Monogamy?

Mistakes Were Made ·

2023/10/23

Is non-monogamy actually a sustainable lifestyle – or is it just an experiment? Sarah and Alex reflect on how the novelty of having an open marriage has worn off after three years. Reddit conversation re changes in non-monogamy styles over time mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

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01:32:35

Ep 25: Polyamory Mythbusters

Mistakes Were Made ·

2023/06/05

Season 2 finale! Sarah and Alex try to stump each other with research into some of the most common myths and misconceptions about non monogamy. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ More about us: Bloodstar band: https://ffm.to/bloodstarattachmentpanic | [Listen to Bloodstar on Spotify] Sarah’s website: https://www.sarahstuteville.com/ Making Contact: https://www.radioproject.org/ | [Listen to Making Contact on Spotify] Mentioned in the episode: Shrimpteeth survey

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01:22:17

Ep 24: Long Term Polyamory with Zack & Madeleine

Mistakes Were Made ·

2023/05/22

Sarah and Alex talk with friends and ethical nonmonogamy role models Zack and Madeleine about maintaining a polyamorous partnership for the long haul, and making out with cute German guys. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

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01:10:27

Ep 23: Why We Lie

Mistakes Were Made ·

2023/05/08

Sarah and Alex talk about the lies they have told each other…and themselves. Also, the patriarchy and whatnot. mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Mentioned in the episode: All about love, by bell hooks

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01:14:20

Ep 22: Finding (Self) Love in Queer Non-Monogamy with...

Mistakes Were Made ·

2023/04/24

Sarah and Alex talk to Eli--a transmasc drag performer and progressive policy wonk--about Seattle drag, Texas BBQ, coming to non-monogamy during the pandemic and how to live our "Big Blob Best Lives." mistakescast@gmail.com * https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ More from Eli: https://www.instagram.com/sirloinseattle/ Mentioned in the episode: http://kenyonhall.org/ (All ages drag show May 12!) https://www.instagram.com/theboxbarseattle/?hl=en (See SirLoin May 13!)

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