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PODCAST

Mistakes Were Made

Non monogamy for imperfect people. Hosted by a queer therapist and her husband of 15 years. Sarah & Alex share their experiences opening their marriage, and interview guests about the struggles & rewards of doing relationships your own way. Mistakes Were Made is part advice, part confession, part culture critique. But it"s all about learning from our missteps and stumbling toward liberation. Follow us on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/. Logo design by roy franklin of the Whatever

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All Episodes

01:13:39

Ep 73: Relationship Care Plans with Karryn

Mistakes Were Made ·

2026/04/10

It's like a prenup... for when your partner goes out of town. Poly therapist Karryn Satchell joins the podcast to explain how you can plan ahead for hard moments in a relationship, from fights, to life changes, to individual crises and even break ups. You can reach Karryn at admin@ksclinicalservices.com Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

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38:27

Ep 72: Lindy West's Adult Braces Instant Reaction

Mistakes Were Made ·

2026/03/27

Lindy West is "setting the internet on fire" again with a new memoir tracing her rocky path to accepting a poly relationship with her partner. Sarah & Alex pick apart the flamey reactions, and start to wonder if polyamory is really the problem. Mentioned in the episode: Adult Braces | Harper's Bazaar Article | Loves Out Loud Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

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01:17:53

Ep 71: Love or Limerence?

Mistakes Were Made ·

2026/03/20

Sleepless nights. Intrusive thoughts. Gushing adoration. Is that obsessive feeling true love? Sarah and Alex unpack experiences as givers and recievers of limerant feelings, and try to differentiate between limerance and new relationship energy, anxious attachment, and...Irish poetry? Happy St. Patrick's Day! Mentioned in the episode: Loves Out Loud | New Relationship Energy | Love and Limerence by Dorothy Tennov | Yumi Sakugawa Limerance Instagram Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com |

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01:21:41

Ep 70: Community and Cancel Culture with Ramsey

Mistakes Were Made ·

2026/03/06

Ramsey rejoins the podcast to talk about that thing everyone seems to be seeking more of these days: Community. What even is it? Why are so many of us lacking it? And is polyamorous dating the solution? TW: The conversation about community accountability vs. cancel culture somehow lands on the Epstein Files and guillotines. Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Quake Rugby Isn't a Drag (The Stranger) | Alex Garland in Speak the Sojourner | All About Love, by bell hooks

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01:07:31

Ep 69: New Models of Masculinity

Mistakes Were Made ·

2026/02/20

Guess who's been missing from this new wave of political organizing: CIS dudes. Alex grapples with how critique of toxic masculinity has left a gap in men's identity. And Sarah asks why so many progressive men are down to fuck, but not down to fight. Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Sensitive New Age Guys | All About Love, by bell hooks | The Better Man, by Dr. Eric Fitzmedrud Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by

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01:06:53

Ep 68: The Poly Bi Male Experience with Quinn

Mistakes Were Made ·

2026/02/06

Bi men are having a moment, and we're jumping on the bandwagon! Sarah talks to Quinn and Alex about discovering their bisexuality while practicing polyamory. Warning: Heated Rivalry spoiler alert at 35 minutes! Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy workshop | Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat | The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl | Heated Rivalry | Esther Perel on Heated Rivalry | Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design

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01:25:45

Ep 67: Taking care of your partner (and yourself)...

Mistakes Were Made ·

2026/01/23

What does Ai and folding laundry have to do with supporting your partner through a break up? Not very much, but both things sure did come up a lot in this episode! Sarah and Alex reflect on how it felt to care for each other during recent struggles with other partners, and share some tips for weathering turmoil in your relationship constellation. Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy workshop | How To Love Your Polyamorous Partner When They Have A Broken Heart In An Open

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01:27:13

Ep 66: Kin, Family and Community Love with Sophie...

Mistakes Were Made ·

2026/01/09

Author and Cartoonist Sophie Lucido Johnnson talks about the future of family structures, her new book "Kin," and, of course, global extinction. Mentioned in the episode: Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop | Timothy Egan | Sarah's Seattle Times column | Kin: The Future of Family | Many Love: A Memoir of Polyamory and Finding Love(s) | Dear Sophie, Love Sophie More about Sophie: https://www.sophielucidojohnson.com/ Come to our Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop March 21, 2026 in Seattle! Follow us:

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58:42

Ep 65: Alone in a Crowded Polycule

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/12/26

Register for the Intentional Nonmonogamy Workshop on March 21st in Seattle with Sarah and Alex of Mistakes Were Made. Is polyamory a salve for loneliness? Or just a way to escape our fear of being alone with ourselves? Sarah reflects on her 'poly sabbatical' and Alex explores the psychological roots if his poly enthusiasm. Mentioned in the episode: HHS Report on Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation | Angela Garbes | The Cut - Quiet Quitting Your Marriage | Abigail Brenner - The Importance

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01:09:25

Ep 64: The Religion to Poly Pipeline with Tyson

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/12/12

Evangelical-turned-athiest Tyson returns to the show, this time to help us unpack why so many people from religious backgrounds like his find their way to polyamory, and how religious trauma impacts our relationships. Mentioned in the episode: Pew Research: Evangelical Protestants in the U.S. | Poly Philia: Why Unicorn Hunting Doesn't Work | Hierarchical Polyamory vs. Non Hierarchical Polyamory vs. Relationship Anarchy Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/

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01:13:06

Ep 63: Jealousy, Anarchy and Psychedelics with Dr...

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/11/28

Sarah & Alex talk with Dr. Nicole, host of the Modern Anarchy podcast about jealousy, religious trauma and the first EVER study on relationship anarchy. Oh, and the parallels between psychedelics and New Relationship Energy (NRE). Mentioned in the episode: Upstream Podcast | Layla Martin | Talk: "Everything you Know About Addiction is Wrong" | New Relationship Energy [NRE] | Seek the Risk | Suicide rates by gender | People chasing ICE with their cars in Chicago Follow Dr. Nicole: Modern Anarchy

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01:00:22

Ep 62: MWM Live at Liberating Love Festival

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/11/14

It's an extra special live episode of Mistakes Were Made! Sarah and Alex are joined by Jessa Davis, Elizabeth Cunningham, and return guest Ramsey for a conversation all about relationship equality, representation, and how to talk to your family about polyamory. Tyson (remember him from episode 33: Solo Poly Showdown??) is our emcee. Mentioned in the episode: SCFRE | https://www.open-love.org/ Follow us: mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin:

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01:12:41

Ep 61: Trauma-Informed Poly ~ Season 5 Premiere!

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/10/31

Has a relationship ever made you feel like a scared little kid? You might be resurfacing trauma from an earlier life stage. In the Season 5 premiere Sarah and Alex welcome spooky season with a deep dive into the many ways unexplored trauma could be what's messing up our relationships. Eek! 👻👻👻 Mentioned in the episode: Erikson's Stages of Development | True adolescence disrupted by Queer phobic context | Performative Male | Extended Adolescence | Parts Work | Dr. Gabor Maté | DARVO | SCFRE

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01:20:58

Ep 60: Holding Boundaries, Meeting Needs | Season 4...

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/09/26

What are my boundaries? What are my needs? How do I share them with my partners? Sarah and Alex try to understand the differences between rules and boundaries, needs and desires. Mentioned in the episode: Glitter & Greed: The Lisa Frank Story mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org Links to bookshop.org are affiliate links.

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01:04:58

Ep 56: Splitsville Instant Reaction

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/09/05

Hollywood made a movie about open relationships (sort of). We watched it so you don't have to! Mentioned in the episode: Splitsville | Together | Together’s free couples therapy gimmick | mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

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01:19:25

Ep 56: Parents Fast for Gaza + Poly-tics (Encore)

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/08/15

Sarah and Jessica are fasting this week, so we’re sharing an episode that first aired in the spring of 2024. Is polyamory inherently apolitical? Is it just an excuse for rich people to avoid thinking about climate change? Did Sarah accidentally make out with a Trump supporter at the ferry dock??? Tune in to find out! Mentioned in the episode: Parents Fast for Gaza | @parentsfast4gaza on instagram | @stute on instagram | The Atlantic - Polyamory, the Ruling Class’s Latest Fad | Time Magazine -

en

01:26:40

Ep 57: How to fail at sex with Calvin Burnap

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/07/25

Sarah and Alex talk with therapist and ‘Crush Coach’ (it’s not what you think), Calvin Burnap, about mindfulness, queerness and the gift of bad sex. Mentioned in the episode: The Crush Coach | The Crush Coach on Instagram | All About Love | Esther Perel | The Wheel of Consent by Betty Martin | Jenny Hayo | Dan Savage mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org LInks to bookshop.org are affiliate links.

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01:18:07

Ep 56: Poly Hot Tub Time Machine

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/07/04

A mysterious green tupperware offers a portal to the past. Sarah and Alex talk about how their feelings about hierarchy, sleepovers, vetoes and more have changed over five years of being polyamorous. mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

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01:07:12

Ep 55: That Good Sex

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/06/13

Sarah and Alex investigate mind-blowing, legendary, earth-moving sex, to find out if such a thing actually exists, and if so, how to have it. Mentioned in the episode: Sexucation for Men Podcast | “Take my Breath Away” Scene from Top Gun | Partner-Specific Learning mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org

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01:20:50

Ep 54: Are Het Relationships Hopeless?

Mistakes Were Made ·

2025/05/23

Sarah and Alex unpack the mournful refrain: “if only I was into girls,” and question whether modern relationships between men and women are fundamentally doomed. Mentioned in the episode: The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward | Midsommar (film) | The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood | If Hetero Relationships Are So Bad, Why Do Women Go Back For More? On The Cut mistakescast@gmail.com | https://www.instagram.com/mistakescast/ Logo design by roy franklin: www.whateverfactory.org Links to

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