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PODCAST

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius

Your hosts Joseph and Theo and sometimes Daniel read stories written by children, delving into the inner workings of a child genius’s mind. Have you ever looked back at your childhood and thought "what was I thinking?" We are here to answer that question. Now with an inconsistent release schedule! Send us your own stories you wrote as a child! Email us at: childgeniuspodcast@gmail.com

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All Episodes

01:25:30

#45 - Jackie’s Writings 2/2: How to Lose Friends and...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/08/27

2022. The prime of the Inside the Mind of a Child Genius Podcast. The content - both of podcast and of the world in general - had never been better. The happy story ends there. What follows is a no-no and a big one: questionable math, even more questionable science, and an alarming amount of smugness. But if there’s one thing this episode makes clear, it’s that Herbert Hoover should have done…more. What’s your opinion? Also in this episode: “I need to go look at a cat.”, “Now I love to poison

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01:36:37

#44 - Jackie’s Writings 1/2: Adult Disappointment

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/08/27

Jackie from the Fire the Canon Podcast visits for this exciting new mini season where we test multiple catchphrases, roast a grandpa, and revisit some particularly low points in our lives - in a fun way! Listen for tips on how to save positive money, distinguish between cats and possums, and even discover what it’s like to be a Republican. Also in this episode: “Why do you smell like a bush?”, “You should see this shitty dog.”, “I went to a hard kindergarten.”, Jimmy Buffett, Secrets of the

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01:20:19

#43 - Daniel's Diary 4/4: Peasant’s Academy

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/06/29

In this episode we reach the end of Daniel’s ill-fated love story. It was a wild ride, and things got a little bit wilder this time with time-traveling love notes, woman-troll romance, orange juice benders, grandma roasting, Duolingo fetishes, and discounted sperm. If that’s not enough for you, Daniel and Theo also reveal how they almost contributed to the field of eugenics in their own unfortunate ways. Also in this episode: “Oh, were you popular? Whoops, I mean of course you were.”, “I would feel

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00:43:13

#42 - Daniel's Diary 3/4: The Jag-Offs

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/06/28

Have you ever wondered how to get out of traffic tickets or get great discounts at restaurants? Well, listen to this podcast and we’ll tell you! (It’s lying). We’ll also discuss some good tips on tricking people into making out with you or even getting two different people to kiss each other. If you like unethical life hacks, then this is the episode for you! Also in this episode: “Did you really have to pull out the honeycombs and lick them while you were driving?”, “You’re doing 70 in a school

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00:54:57

#41 - Daniel's Diary 2/4: Dear Uncle Nasty

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/06/26

In this episode we're celebrating Valentine's Day with special guest, Daniel! We each have special mystery themes for this episode, not Valentine’s related in any way! Daniel writes to his dear Uncle Nasty about his Sarah-based lovesickness, and tells him the secrets that he wants everyone to find out about. We also uncover the most astonishing reveal yet! Also in this episode: “We all have a mystery theme y’all”, “That sounds like something Uncle Nasty does”, “That’s a good Valentine’s Day trick”,

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00:58:46

#40 - Daniel's Diary 1/4: The Doughboys

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/06/26

In this episode we're celebrating Valentine's Day with special guest, Daniel! Daniel had a strange, unsettling approach to love, as witnessed in his childhood journals. We start off in 1997, which was a bad year, especially for Mary-Jo. Additionally, Theo opens up about a problem he's been having at work, and he asks his cousins for advice. We cover some World War I history as well. Also in this episode: "I'm supposed to pee to this?", "Someone's gonna run into that ghost board!", Disney World, The

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00:57:14

#39 - Island of the Dinosaurs Bonus Episode: Fancy...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/04/05

In this retrospective episode, we look back and try to make some sense of the insanity that was Island of the Dinosaurs. We’ve got revisions, bad Amazon reviews, theme park design, character superlatives, and more! Also in this episode: “Thought for sure it would be a hamburger”, “He was taking the ass-route”, Michael Crichton, Jurassic Park, Disney, Cedar Point, Scarlett Johansson, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Amy Poehler, Timothee Chalamet, Drake, Jar Jar Binks, Angelina Jolie, Charlie Day, Daniel

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00:44:32

#38 - Island of the Dinosaurs 14/14: Celebrate Good...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/03/10

Sweet relief, we’ve finally finished the Island of the Dinosaurs! In this episode we learn about Theo’s neurotic bowl-cutted rival from the young writers conference, discuss which accents you shouldn’t reinvent yourself with, and give a quick PSA about volcano eruptions. Also in this episode: “Maybe he could have a father for once in his life.”, “It’d be a shame if your copter got crashed.”, Kool & the Gang, Jurassic Park, Harry Potter, and Pokemon.

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00:53:02

#37 - Island of the Dinosaurs 13/14: Swim into Life

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/03/03

Fun fact: this episode has no intro, and it’s our best intro yet! This time we get straight into the action, and boy is there a lot: swimming, looking, swinging, break dancing, dying, building flipping, tower building, table decorating, copter crashing, and running, lots of running. We sincerely hope you enjoy this efficient episode. Also in this episode: “Hey, I’m the king of the skies!”, “What happened to all the chairs? And why are there so many table decorations?”, “Kevin’s with a girl he

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00:49:14

#36 - Island of the Dinosaurs 12/14: Get the Wood

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/02/20

Things are heating up on the island as Theo's beloved characters make insane decisions in the face of extreme danger. Also in this episode: "They hit me with a very buoyant rock!", "The fish got less and less scared.", "He felt like he was now face to face with the devil, but the devil was mad!", Jurassic Park, Viagra

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00:44:29

#35 - Island of the Dinosaurs 11/14: Come at Us...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/02/10

Theo would be totally humiliated if this rap went viral, so share this video with everyone you know (especially if you know Drake) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCeqYiw8flA. Also in this episode: “Kevin’s giant smile was impossible to fit through a door.”, “I know there will be something in the future, so I will vaguely expect that there will be a future.”, Pusha T, Survivor, and TED Talks.

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01:13:17

#34 - Island of the Dinosaurs 10/14: I’m Not a Poop,...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/02/01

By the end of this spooky episode, Theo will be crazy! Not really, we actually just talk about dinosaurs, cool superpowers, stinky breath, and Pokémon the whole time. You’re going to love this episode, it’s just like dinner without the dinner! Also in this episode: “His brown eyes were gray.”, “He didn’t want anyone to think he was a poop.”, “Three people left alone until one left.”, “The water was so hot if you put some in your mouth you would have blisters in a couple of seconds.”, WikiHow,

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01:26:31

#33 - Island of the Dinosaurs 9/14: Misfourtiounit Compy

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/01/21

Today we introduce a new segment, and a new co-host! So settle in for another classic episode with these two [exploitive deletive] idiots, and whatever you do, don’t listen to the last 30 minutes of this episode! We’re really sorry. Also in this episode: “It was already devouring its snack, now for the big meat!”, “You shouldn’t yell about your dino boner.”, “Kevin’s eyes burst open”, Jurassic Park 3, Home Improvement, Tim Allen, Home Alone, The Office

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00:40:40

#32 - Island of the Dinosaurs 8/14: Morning Edition

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/01/10

Good morning and welcome back to Inside the Mind of a Child Genius with Sleepy and The Grog! This morning we have 3 tips to be more alpha, an exciting new recipe to spice up decomposing leaves, and one weird trick to make your cereal delicious! Also in this episode: “What’s a T-Rex supposed to do? Not see you?”, fish baseball, Chex Quest, and Raisin Bran.

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01:00:28

#31 - Island of the Dinosaurs 7/14: The Pit with Derial

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2022/01/01

Happy Spooky October New Year! I hope you're dressed to the nines because, new rule, you have to dress up to listen to this podcast. So grab your meat bucket and your vegetable bucket and tune-in to hear about haunted roombas, redneck dinosaurs, and millions upon millions of fish. Also in this episode: "I bought a microwave here last week.", "I don't deserve to win.", "It was hungry, hungry for meat!", "Jump over the trick line! James did.", Texas blackouts, 3 Cowboys, WALMART, Halloween, Jurassic

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00:58:15

#30 - Island of the Dinosaurs 6/14: T-Rex Loved the...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/12/20

I am made from erosion And I am pleasant to see You may find a secret If you look behind me Now for one final truth That you may not find fair I am where a dinosaur would have to jump around a pit of water by jumping straight And turning in the air Listen for the answer to this riddle, and much more! Also in this episode: “It’s known for its crocodile-like head, you fool!”, “Now you want to know about Derial.”, “Come on let’s put ‘er in.”, Joedrijoe, Pidgeyjojo, mini-boats, Pokemon, The Meg, TikTok,

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00:46:53

#29 - Island of the Dinosaurs 5/14: Are These Dinos...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/12/10

We finally talk about what’s on everyone’s mind: dinosaur sex. Also in this episode: “Life was the punishment.”, “That was not good to do that.”, “Nothing really happened, but it could have.”, “Sort of like a honk from a goose.”, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Jurassic Park 3, and Drake.

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00:58:18

#28 - Island of the Dinosaurs 4/14: Beefisode 28:...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/12/01

Island of the Dinosaurs is heating up! People are eaten, police are called, arms are injured, and characters are bullied by the narrator. If you’re having evil thoughts, take out the bad parts of your mind and replace them with this podcast! Also in this episode: “Samantha ordered the pizza last night, I think she can call the police.”, “There’s one animal I haven’t controlled, the compy.”, Tony Hawk, Homestar Runner, and Jurassic Park

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00:53:54

#27 - Island of the Dinosaurs 3/14: Hot and Wet

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/11/20

In season 2 we’re focusing on life’s big questions. What’s the best way to get revenge on someone at Target? How do you act like you pooped at a hockey game? What are some good excuses to cry? Where does the hot and wet stuff go? You will find satisfactory answers to all of these questions and more in this educational episode of season 2. Also in this episode: “No oh no please no.”, “And then Sauron destroyed the ring for no reason.”, “No fungus.”, “Life finds a way, unless it gets puked on.”,

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01:17:52

#26 - Island of the Dinosaurs 2/14: People Infested...

Inside The Mind of a Child Genius ·

2021/11/10

In this episode we continue Theo’s exciting dinosaur-centric action story that definitely doesn’t take any inspiration from Jurassic Park. Joseph worries about looking like a terrorist, Theo goes through his old hard drive, and we reimagine Friends in the worst way possible. Also in this episode: “How are the dinosaurs made by people? They didn’t.”, “This island is filled with dinosaurs only me and my group know about this.”, “Ray has no job, but we gotta bring Ray.”, Barney, the Unabomber, the

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65 results

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