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PODCAST

Beat Motel Zine

Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music"s funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit! Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we"ll

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All Episodes

01:07:27

Forbidden Music

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/05/26

What happens when you love music but live with people who have ears? This week, Andrew and Dr. Sam dive headfirst into the steaming skip bin of Forbidden Music—those tracks that are so loathed, so divisive, or just so downright baffling that they’ve been banned in their own homes.From the glitchy chaos of Venetian Snares to the crime against ears that is Nightwish, no genre is safe. We cover everything from folk revolutionaries to jazz breakdowns that sound like a musical nervous breakdown. Dr. Sam

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01:01:50

Albums That Feel Like Coming Home (and Other Toilet...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/05/19

This week Andrew is joined by the ever-lovely Dr. Sam to discuss albums that feel like coming home. Naturally, they barely stick to the topic. Expect bowel-related rants, coffee-fuelled enema chat, and Dr. Sam outing himself as the world’s most dangerous urinal misuser.They dive into the albums that comfort them like a warm blanket (or a familiar loo seat), including Ugly Kid Joe, Black Sheep, The Kinks, and the Charlatans, while getting stuck into the finer points of why Weird Al is the hero we

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01:18:21

Band or Business? The Ugly Truth

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/05/12

Hold on to your ethically-sourced coffee and buckle in for a truly chaotic dive into the shallow end of music industry sellouts. This week, Andrew is joined by the ever-cynical Dr Sam, and the pair bravely attempt to answer the big questions: Can Slayer officially sod off? Is ABBA secretly prog disco royalty? Would Paul McCartney say "alright mate" if you bumped into him on the street?From slagging off Kickstarter walking boots to dissecting the Misfits’ career strategy and cringing at the

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01:00:00

Machines of Music: Robot Bands, Fear Factory Drama,...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/05/05

In this absolutely not-endorsed-by-the-Royal-Institution episode of Beat Motel, Andrew Culture and Dr. Sam strap themselves to the whirring gears of life and music — and get gloriously derailed.We start by pondering the important things in life, like testicle elasticity, sellotaping car keys to your bits, and whether Andrew has ever squatted over a mirror (thankfully, not... yet). Then it's onto weddings, disaster tourism, robot bands, Fear Factory’s shady drum secrets, and the art of becoming a

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01:00:01

Sunglasses, Squirrels & Skepta: A Musical Meltdown

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/04/28

This week, Andrew Culture is joined by Dr. San to answer the all-important question: what do Viz magazine, squirrel-based hip-hop folklore, and Captain Sensible have to do with sunglasses? A lot, apparently. From tales of tragically inebriated rodents to obscure country pastiches and mid-80s goth crooners, we dive eyeballs-first into a lens-tinted trip through musical mayhem.Expect a lovingly detailed discussion on Viz’s Buster Gonad and the gang, a passionate defence of Ray Orbison’s vocal blanket,

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01:10:01

Bands We Dismissed (Then Had to Eat Our Words About)

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/04/21

Ever slagged off a band only to later realise you were the idiot? Andrew and Dr Sam rip into their own bad takes this week as they revisit artists they once dismissed with sneering pride—only to sheepishly backpedal years later.Expect a gloriously messy mix of:Why Pharrell isn't just the Blurred Lines guy (but also maybe he is)Prolapse’s majestic return and the punk power of peppercorn rentThe jaw-smashing genius of BackxwashYodelling and Hank Williams yanking open the doors of country for

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01:06:22

How to End a Song (or Not): Slam Cores, Crust Punks &...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/04/14

What do Björk, crust punks, and shattered phone screens have in common? Not a lot, unless you're listening to this week’s Beat Motel episode, where Andrew is rejoined by Sam for a gloriously unhinged chat on how songs end... or don’t.We spend a solid half hour rambling before even mentioning the episode’s topic. But who needs structure when you’ve got riffs of the week ranging from crunchy sludge to grindcore bands sampling podcast clips (shoutout Hello Kitty Funland), a philosophical debate on

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00:12:57

Now that's what I call Beat Motel Music Podcast

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/04/07

Clip shows suck, don't they? But hey, what you're going to do? This is a clip show. In this so-called episode (which is mostly filler), Andrew Culture looks back at some of the people who have been guest hosts over the past year.

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01:07:03

Velvet Underground’s Influence: From Nico to Noise...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/31

The Influence of the Velvet Undergroundwith special guest Dave Lennon (Lost in the Groove Podcast)What happens when two podcast hosts—one from sunny Florida, the other from soggy Suffolk—sit down to worship at the altar of The Velvet Underground? Absolute chaos, that’s what.In this episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined by Dave Lennon from Lost in the Groove to unravel the weird, wonderful, and often dysfunctional legacy of Lou Reed and co. Expect deep dives into the genius of John Cale, Nico’s

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00:55:11

Bands with Weird Merch

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/24

Ever found yourself at a gig, three beers deep, staring at a merch table and wondering why the hell a band is selling a manhole cover? Well, Andrew Laws and Dr Sam (aka Dr Roid Rage) have. This week, they dive headfirst into the bizarre, impractical, and sometimes downright offensive world of band merchandise.From Misfits flogging literally anything with a skull on it (including Tiki mugs, because obviously) to Norwegian punk bands financing entire albums with municipal infrastructure, this episode

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01:03:55

Music we think we'll like when we're very old and...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/17

What music will we love when we’re old and decrepit? Will we swap death metal for classical funeral masses, or will we just keep playing Rush until it finally makes sense? In this episode, Andrew Laws and Dr. Sam (aka Salmonella) explore how our musical tastes might evolve (or decay) as we age.🎵 Featuring riffs from:Mozart (because funeral music is just evil classical metal)Rush (because we might be patient enough for them someday)Louis Armstrong (because soft landings are needed as life gets

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01:13:04

Bands to introduce friends to a genre

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/10

Welcome to Beat Motel Podcast - Episode 121, where Andrew Laws and Dr Sam set fire to good taste and dance around the ashes.🔊 This week:Cottage cheese: culinary delight or bin juice?Does coughing make you think of Black Sabbath?The Wu-Tang Clan’s Ipswich connection (it’s real, honest).Melvins live: genius or just the same riff over and over?The ultimate metal gateway band—is it The Sword or are we just lazy?Techno vs. Free Jazz: the never-ending war rages on.Why SpongeBob might be the most

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00:57:03

Bands and genres we've grown out of

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/03/03

Ever looked at your old gig T-shirts and thought, "What was I on?" Well, we have, and in this episode, Andrew and his co-host, Dr. Sam, take a long, hard look at the bands and genres they once adored but now make them cringe (or at least yawn).We start strong with Andrew explaining how Jackie Chan's autobiography is more important than socialism, followed by a deep philosophical debate about whether public transport seats and kids' clothes share the same stain-hiding

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01:01:07

Crate Digging and Smug Chord Progressions

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/02/24

This week, Andrew is joined once again by the ever-ready, ever-fit Oli—because let’s be honest, he’s always on standby when the usual suspects drop the ball. Together, they take a deep dive into crate digging, both in the literal sense of flicking through dusty vinyl sleeves and in the modern-day algorithm-fueled digital rabbit hole of obscure musical discoveries.🔹 Riff of the Week: Oli brings us Desire by 18 Carat Affair, a vaporwave banger dripping in sleaze. Andrew, in a shocking plot twist,

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01:02:54

Albums That Broke Bands: The Most Painful Recordings...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/02/17

This week, Andrew and Sam dive into the sheer agony behind some of music’s most infamous recordings. From bandmates quitting mid-session to entire studios being demolished, these albums came at a heavy price.In this episode:Pranking housemates with terrifyingly coloured bodily fluids – because why not?Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours – an album powered by divorce, cocaine, and spite.My Bloody Valentine’s Loveless – two years, 19 studios, and a label nearly going bankrupt.The Rolling Stones running from taxes

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01:07:48

Albums That Should’ve Been EPs (And Toilets in Bury...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/02/10

We start strong with batter-fried nonsense, birthday chaos, and a bit of early swearing to keep things respectable (naturally). From there, we rip into bands, black metal, weird band names, and whether or not you should ever talk to someone at the urinal (spoiler: no!).This week’s theme? Albums that should’ve been EPs, or as we call it: “Long-winded b0llocks that should’ve been cut down before they met the general public.” Orville Peck, System of a Down, Franz Ferdinand, and more are on the chopping

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01:08:46

Bad Band Reunions vs Good Reunions & Michael Crawford...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/02/03

This week on Beat Motel, Andrew welcomes Daz Hewitt, Ipswich music legend and former bandmate, to talk about band reunions—both glorious and catastrophic. Of course, they immediately derail the topic and spiral into madness.Expect absolute nonsense, including: 🎸 New Wave of Pretty Heavy Metal – Daz accidentally invents a new genre while describing Poison, and we might be onto something. 🎶 Billy Idol is Davros in Doctor Who – Apparently, Billy Idol’s 90s motorbike accident means he’d make a great

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00:57:46

Great Collaborations in Music (And Why Ginger Baker...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/01/27

This week, Andrew welcomes Dr. Sam (aka Flan F***er Page—yes, really) for a deep dive into _great_ musical collaborations. Along the way, they cover everything from Tito Puente to Sinead O'Connor, the genius of Bernard "Pretty" Purdie, and a story about Ginger Baker's olive farm that involves derelict barns, blind-drunk driving, and horses casually chilling indoors.Expect rants about Gary Boys (and how they ruined Ipswich’s traffic flow), the horror of Elton John being "a bit too nice," and why

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01:02:36

Pointless Collaborations in Music (And Why We Love to...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/01/20

Andrew Culture teams up with Dr. Sam to unpack the most baffling, eyebrow-raising, and just plain pointless musical collaborations ever inflicted on humanity. From Elton John’s karaoke shenanigans with Orville Peck to the baffling Lou Reed and Metallica mash-up that _should have stayed a rumor_, this episode is a glorious deep dive into the "why even bother?" of music history.Along the way, Andrew mourns the repetitive sound of butter dishes, Dr. Sam defends Franz Ferdinand (but not their Doppler

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00:57:24

Good B-sides vs Bad B-sides

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/01/13

In this week’s episode, Andrew is joined by the enigmatic Dr. Sam to dissect the sticky, smelly world of B-sides. From Suede’s majestic castaways to Korn’s half-baked remixes, they wade knee-deep into what makes a B-side a banger or just a bad idea. Along the way, Andrew reminisces about the peculiar 80s phenomenon of white dog poo, the trauma of squishy sandals, and why Ipswich is (mercifully) less turd-laden these days.Dr. Sam brings his sharp ear and an unsettling amount of love for freaky

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