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PODCAST

Beat Motel Zine

Welcome to Beat Motel Zine, the comedy-infused alt-music podcast! Born from a zine from the DIY scene, we blend laughs with punk, metal, and everything offbeat. Discover the weirder side of bands, from unintentionally funny stage antics to musical mishaps. Tune in for a profane, comedic journey through alternative tunes, where every episode is a laugh. Join us as we explore music"s funniest fringes with a punk rock spirit! Can the alternative music scene and comedy mix? Of course they can; we"ll

music music commentary

All Episodes

01:00:52

Odd concept albums

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/10/30

What do stoner-era ZZ Top, a mountain named Billy with a tree girlfriend, and a kid who astral projects into Rasputin's beard all have in common? Concept albums, mate. And not just any old proggy b*llocks – this week we're diving into the oddest concept albums we could find (and a few we just wanted to waffle on about anyway). Andrew is joined by first-time Beat Motel guest host James Kindred – a fellow Ipswich musician, longtime mate, and possibly the only person who can explain a Mastodon plotline

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01:00:59

How to end side A

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/10/30

If you've ever flipped a vinyl and thought, "well that was a limp finish," then this episode is your new religion. Andrew and Dr. Sam dive into the fine art of ending Side A—the lost craft of crafting a sonic cliffhanger that makes you want to flip that record like your nan flips a Digestive into her cuppa. We've got: The Clash's perfectly measured chaos An R.E.M. song even the R.E.M. boys can't remember Richard Dawson punching you in the feelings A mystery smackhead guitar hero who wandered

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01:07:25

Bands That Are Better as a Documentary Than to Listen To

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/10/30

Ever watched a music doc and thought, "Cor, this band's story is brilliant!" only to press play on their actual music and feel your soul quietly retreat into your ankles? This week, Andrew and co-host Dr. Sam put the needle on the record and realise some bands should've stayed in the cutting room. We take a scenic drive through the trainwreck glory of Milli Vanilli, the baffling existential crisis that is Metallica's St. Anger, and the CIA's alleged soft-rock psy-op via The Scorpions. Plus, there's

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01:00:02

Cats

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/10/06

This week on Beat Motel, Andrew relives his childhood by rolling down Ed Sheeran’s hill into a pile of dog muck, and Dr. Sam reveals he’s spent more time chasing cheese than dignity. Somewhere along the way, they accidentally remember this is supposed to be a music podcast.The theme? Cats. That’s it. Not subtle. Not deep. Just cats. From SpongeBob’s snail-pet Gary to the purring sleaze of Queen’s “Cool Cat,” we dig into feline-inspired tunes like they’re buried in a litter tray.Expect:A

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01:05:19

Obscure Genres

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/09/29

If you’ve ever wondered what a Finnish man in a bedroom with a broken keyboard sounds like, then you’re weird. But also in the right place. This week, Dr. Sam joins Andrew for a dive headfirst into the murky swamp of obscure music genres, where rules don’t matter and the cats are in charge.Expect tangents galore: from liturgical black metal to folk electronica via squee (yes, it’s a thing), this episode is a chaotic tour of sounds you probably never asked for. There’s also rants about Winamp,

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01:00:44

Back to School

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/09/22

In this nostalgia-drenched episode of Beat Motel, Andrew Culture and voiceover man extraordinaire Martin Whiskin hurl themselves headfirst into the deep, murky swimming pool of school memories—and promptly slip on a Verucca sock.Expect less of a structured discussion and more of a chaotic ramble through:Drinking out of pickle jars, Nutella jars, and possibly things we shouldn’t mention.Childhood trauma via public service announcements that were more “accidental snuff film” than “safety

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01:06:55

Songs to swing your pants to

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/09/01

Ever wondered what it's like to be whipped in the cobblers by a carbon fibre tent pole? No? Well, you’re about to. In this episode, Andrew returns to the studio and brings along Dr. Sam for a high-brow chat about testicular trauma, Trev & Simon, and the absolute best music to make your hips involuntarily wiggle like an over-caffeinated toddler.The theme this week? Songs to swing your pants to. The result? A genre-skirting playlist filled with funkadelic basslines, ska-punk chaos, and

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01:02:16

Summer Holidays

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/08/25

What is it about British summer holidays that brings out the absolute weirdest memories? Andrew Culture is joined by returning co-host and beard-stroking wordsmith Martin Whiskin for a full-tilt, memory-lane-meets-puke-stained-train episode about all things “Summer Holidays.”We kick off with threats from Grotbags, traumatising pantos, and a deep dive into the bizarre puppetry obsession of '80s kids TV. From Bob Carolgees and Spit the Dog to the musical trauma inflicted by Orville, it's a

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01:00:50

Songs for long car journeys

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/08/18

Ever argued over who controls the aux cable on a long drive? In this episode of the Beat Motel Podcast, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the tunes that keep them sane (or send them spiralling) on epic car journeys. From Queen's Greatest Hits to post-metal tantrums, and from Pete Seeger’s calm reassurance to jazz-adjacent Icelandic loops, we dissect the soundtracks that power our road trips, intentional or accidental.Expect ridiculous stories involving bargain-bin CDs, iPad vomit catchers, and why you

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00:25:11

Hellsinki Metal Festival 2025 - Beer, bands and...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/08/11

In this special detour from our usual Beat Motel rambling, Andrew and Dr. Sam swap the studio for the chaos of Hellsinki Metal Festival (yes, with two Ls, because one L just isn’t metal enough). We navigate Finnish beer, dodge suspicious wrestling moves, and try to work out why 8% lager is even legal in a place with mosh pits.Expect unfiltered commentary on bands like Kanonenfieber, Decapitated, and Fear Factory, plus on-the-ground insights into earplug economics, dungaree etiquette at metal gigs,

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00:34:44

Scenes Like These – Bury St Edmunds Rehearsal Rooms...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/08/04

This episode of the Beat Motel Podcast drops you into the sweaty, glorious middle of a music fundraiser that brought Bury St Edmunds together in the loudest way possible. I hit the Hunter Club and the town’s rehearsal rooms to catch a full day of DIY brilliance, chat with bands and scene-makers, and find out what happens when a town fights for its music spaces.Whether you're into punk, indie, or just stories of people doing something real, this one’s for you. No fluff, no filler, just the kind

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00:58:32

Crusty Jugglers and Flaming Skulls: A Guide to Iconic...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/07/28

Is it possible to judge an album by its cover? Absolutely. Especially when it's got skeleton hands, raging suns, or Geiger’s flesh nightmares on it.In this episode of the Beat Motel podcast, Andrew and recurring co-host Martin Whiskin dive deep into the album art that shaped our musical tastes, plastered our pencil cases, and possibly got Dead Kennedys sued. From the raw power of Monster Magnet and Kyuss, to the delicate doodles of The Levellers, to Pink Floyd being accused of ripping off Blur

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01:05:49

Great band, terrible name

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/07/21

Episode 140: Great Bands, Awful Names (feat. Dr Sam)Brace yourselves for a melodic mess as Andrew and the returning legend Dr Sam dive into the world of bands that slap sonically but utterly fumble the name game. From the majestic chaos of Defeated Sanity (yes, really) to the ultra-bland University, it's a wild ride of killer riffs and cringe monikers.Expect:Funkadelic basslines from Graham Central Station (who apparently named themselves after a sodding train station).Deep thoughts on Car Seat

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01:08:23

Peel Sessions – DIY Music Glory & Elderly Gentlemen...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/07/14

John Peel. The man, the myth, the reason you accidentally got into Bulgarian throat singing that one time. This episode of Beat Motel is a loving, ramshackle dive into the chaotic universe of Peel Sessions.Andrew Culture is joined by Mick Derrick from Prolapse, who proves that the road from crusty-sounding band names to DIY folklore is paved with weirdness, cassette tapes, and gigs no one came to. Expect tales of friendly old men who just happen to be in Mayhem, Welsh insults passed down to

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01:18:29

Bands we'd get in a fight over, with Martin Whiskin

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/07/07

If you’ve never been ready to square up in a Spoons car park over your favourite band, are you even a real music fan? In this unreasonably passionate episode, Andrew is joined by the charmingly volatile Martin Whiskin as they dive fists-first into the bands they’d get into an actual fight over. Expect tales of local legends, rag-tag riffs, posh ska punks, and very specific ball-based analogies.Featuring bands that should’ve made it, bands that did, and bands no one's heard of (but somehow still

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01:02:52

Bands We Wish We Were In (For Beer, Glory &...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/06/30

Ever looked at a band and thought, "Yeah, I'd ruin that with my presence"? Well, so have we. This week on Beat Motel, Andrew is joined once again by the mighty Oli as they dive headfirst into the chaotic world of bands they wish they'd been in.From the sleek, suited swagger of Interpol to the beer-soaked riff factories of Gentleman's Pistols, we ramble through a weird and wonderful landscape of musical desires. Expect tales of porn ties, Led Zeppelin’s airborne fireplaces, and

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00:46:27

Kin Heavy Tunes

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/06/23

In this ear-bleeding episode of Beat Motel, Andrew is joined once again by Dan Callis for a deep dive into the heavy, the noisy, and the downright daft corners of modern metal and punk. If you're here for thoughtful analysis, jog on. This is a celebration of volume, riffs, and the bands that make you question your own taste.Starting off with tech issues and a healthy dollop of despair at podcasting platforms, our lads quickly launch into a barrage of riffs. Callis brings the chaos with the likes of

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01:08:19

Making sweet sweet music with the person you make...

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/06/16

This week on Beat Motel, Andrew is joined by the ever-eloquent Dr. Sam to unpack the joys, horrors, and outright weirdness of musicians who make sweet music and even sweeter love together. Things get rolling with a heated debate about whether soup is a drink, a meal, or just a gateway to genital injury. Seriously.From Tom Waits’ transformation at the hands of Kathleen Brennan to the relentless Yoko Ono bashing that both Andrew and Sam righteously defend, this episode is a heady blend of irreverent

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01:11:43

Difficult Person, Interesting Artist

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/06/09

Welcome to the Beat Motel podcast, where this week Andrew is joined by Dr Sam for a deep-dive into one of music’s most controversial themes: why so many fascinating artists are also colossal bellends.What starts as a light-hearted waffle about lubricated lips and ear balm (yeah, that happened) quickly takes a sharp swerve into the murky territory of artists who challenge our moral compasses. From Marilyn Manson’s whiny victim lyrics to Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his 13-year-old cousin, no sacred cows

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01:04:44

Colours

Beat Motel Zine ·

2025/06/02

Who knew an episode about colours could spiral into tales of crusty white-boy dreadlocks, the audio texture of brown, and Robbie bloody Williams dragging Tony Iommi into the Britpop bin fire?This week, Andrew and Dr Sam dive into the murky, vibrant, and occasionally neon world of music and its connection to colour. We’re not talking about your A-Level synaesthesia essay here. This is a chaotic ramble through records that sound “pink,” bands that are spiritually “brown,” and the kind of drummers who

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