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PODCAST

back from the borderline

I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of "disorder" or "dysfunction", but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner

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All Episodes

30:42

the 1000-year-old tibetan secret that makes western...

back from the borderline ·

2025/08/21

Discover the ancient Tibetan practice of Chöd that's revolutionizing how we approach inner work, trauma healing, and shadow integration. While Western psychology teaches you to fight your demons, this 1000-year-old wisdom tradition reveals why feeding them creates profound transformation that traditional therapy often cannot achieve.In this deep-dive episode, we explore how Machig Labdrön, an 11th-century Tibetan yogini, developed a radical approach to psychological healing that exposes the

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1:50:55

selective spiritual technophobia: why mystics and...

back from the borderline ·

2025/08/19

Why are so many spiritual teachers and thinkers panicking about AI? Some are calling it demonic, while others say it’s the Antichrist, but almost no one is asking the deeper questions about how AI actually reflects the human psyche and what that reflection can do to us.This episode breaks down the real risks of using AI for inner work. We look at how it can speed up psychological and spiritual insight, but also how that speed can cause confusion, obsession, and mental disorganization when used

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19:32

why shadow work is making you worse

back from the borderline ·

2025/08/14

You've been doing everything right. Journaling about your triggers. Embracing your darkness. Loving your inner demons. Yet somehow your anxiety is worse, your patterns are stronger, and you're more fragmented than when you started. The entire shadow work industry has been teaching you to feed the very parasites it claims to heal.Medieval Jewish mystics identified a phenomenon they called the Sitra Achra (the Other Side). Parasitic distortions that emerge when we try to eliminate parts of ourselves

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42:42

meme magic, hot mess eras, and digital disappearance...

back from the borderline ·

2025/08/12

If you’ve spent any time on Instagram’s weird, wonderful and niche corners, chances are high that you’ve seen one of Aiden Arata’s memes. Her work moves past the usual surface-level social media irony and plunges into the intersection where humor, psychic distress, and cultural commentary meet. Aiden’s debut book You Have a New Memory has been making waves, and for good reason. It’s hard to describe exactly what it is. Part essay collection, part dream logic, but in the end it reads kind of like a

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49:19

the death of the people-pleaser: how self-abandonment...

back from the borderline ·

2025/08/05

This episode is a deep dive into the psychological, spiritual, and mythic roots of people-pleasing and why this pattern exists in the first place. We explore how early childhood conditioning teaches us that love must be earned through caretaking, emotional labor, and self-erasure.From there, we dissect the roles many of us take on - empath, gifted child, good daughter - and trace how these identities shape our nervous systems and relationships long into adulthood.We go beyond pop psychology and talk

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17:31

TDC_21: the secret sauce to awakening? paradox.

back from the borderline ·

2025/08/02

There are some episodes that meet you where you are. This is not one of those.This episode is for those standing at the threshold where healing is no longer purely about “symptom relief” and starts becoming a deeper confrontation with reality itself. If you’re beginning to sense that “the work” isn’t as simple as a life-long unpacking of what happened to you, but instead a process of becoming the kind of psyche that can hold complexity without shutting down, this conversation will have arrived right

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25:38

cutting the cord, keeping the thread: how to stop...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/31

Family dynamics shape us long after we’ve left home, but not always in ways we can see.This episode examines what happens when we internalize the unresolved patterns of our caregivers and carry them into adulthood as unconscious coping mechanisms. Through a personal story about a mother’s metaphor for surviving paternal rage, we look closely at how well-meaning messages can become long-term psychic scripts that teaching us self-abandonment.Rather than demonizing our parents or recommending “no

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1:22:56

why age gap relationships aren’t normal: grooming,...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/29

Age-gap relationships have been romanticized, normalized, and quietly accepted across pop culture, media, and even personal memory. But at what cost?In this episode, I take you into the psychological and emotional undercurrent of adult–teen relationships and age-gap dynamics, unpacking how power, control, fantasy, and arrested development often hide beneath the surface of what gets labeled as “mutual” or “consensual.” Drawing from my personal experiences, the fashion and entertainment industries,

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23:59

the emotional cost of always being available (why...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/24

In a world where the day begins with blinking notifications and ends with unanswered messages, many of us are carrying an invisible weight. This episode examines the psychological and physiological cost of always being available and why the pressure to respond is quietly rewiring our nervous systems. From the dopamine mechanics of unread messages to the guilt spiral of delayed replies, we explore how digital communication has become an endless loop that never truly resolves.Through lived experience

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1:29:48

you can’t domesticate venus: sex, power, and the...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/22

Psychological astrologer Dr. Laurence Hillman returns to the podcast for a rare, unfiltered conversation on desire, danger, and the archetypal forces that shape our lives beneath the surface. We dive deep into the myth of Persephone, the shadow of the lover archetype, and the cultural fear of Hades from both a literal and symbolic perspective. We also explore why we are drawn to unsafe situations even when our intuition warns us, how we mistake power for love, and what it means to become conscious

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25:37

your whole childhood wasn’t bad: the danger of...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/17

Many of us find healing through learning about trauma - especially childhood emotional neglect, dysfunctional family systems, and the lasting impact of parental misattunement. That language can bring relief, perspective, and a sense of validation. But over time, it can also shape how we remember the past in ways we don’t always notice.In this episode, I explore how the process of trauma recovery can quietly distort memory, leading us to overlook the real moments of joy, connection, and care that

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1:44:31

disordered desire: performing connection, numbing...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/15

Desire is meant to be a creative force. Something within us that fuels connection, expression, intimacy, and imagination. But for many of us, that force has been warped and inverted. That means instead of feeling energized by what we want, we chase it compulsively. We convince ourselves that attention + intensity = love. In the process, we end up exhausted, numb, or locked into patterns that THINK are passionate but instead is just living in survival mode.In this episode, we explore what happens

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32:17

what they're hiding about your mind

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/10

In this episode, we explore the deeper truths that may be hiding beneath the surface of today’s “Disclosure” discourse. While headlines focus on UFO sightings, UAP whistleblowers, and NHI (non-human intelligence), the real story may be something much more unsettling and much more important. What if the biggest secret isn’t “recovered craft”, but the nature of reality itself? Drawing on current events, ancient spiritual frameworks, and emerging scientific cracks in the materialist worldview, we walk

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2:03:29

why psychiatry failed her: laura delano on...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/08

What is the cost of being a “good patient”? For Laura, it was nearly her life.Join me as I sit down with Laura Delano, author of the groundbreaking memoir Unshrunk: A Story of Psychiatric Treatment Resistance. A former “professional psychiatry patient” turned fierce advocate for psychiatric liberation, Laura brings her unique and deeply courageous voice to one of the most urgent conversations of our time.At age 14, Laura was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after a single psychiatric appointment

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37:33

the real reason you’re afraid of the devil (you’re...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/03

This episode plunges into the most feared symbols in the Western imagination: Lilith, Lucifer, the Devil, the Serpent, and the Dragon, and asks what we’ve buried, projected, or misunderstood in our efforts to exile them. Even the mere mention of these names makes many people look away. We’ve been taught, almost reflexively, that these figures are dangerous, evil, or untouchable. But that reflex didn’t just happen, it was engineered.Across time, empires, churches, and ideological orders have taught

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2:06:26

the psychology of love island USA S7: why it broke...

back from the borderline ·

2025/07/01

This is an in-depth psychological breakdown of Love Island USA Season 7, one of the most viral and culturally polarizing seasons in the franchise’s history. Drawing from attachment theory, nervous system insight, and cultural analysis, the episode offers a detailed look at how cast members like Huda, Jeremiah, Amaya, Taylor, Nic, Olandria, and Cierra reflect deeper dynamics playing out in dating, performance, and projection.Topics covered include emotional regulation, love bombing, anxious-avoidant

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28:48

you’re NOT crazy, you’re remembering the real world.

back from the borderline ·

2025/06/26

We’ve all had moments that totally flipped our idea of reality on its head. Maybe it was an image from a dream that stayed with you for weeks, a phrase that popped into your head out of nowhere that led you somewhere unexpected, or maybe a pattern of synchronicities that couldn’t have just been coincidences. Like all of us, you’ve probably tried to explain them away or forced yourself to believe they were meaningless in order to stay aligned with what society told you “reality” was meant to be. But

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1:41:47

why personality ISN'T a prison (unless you let it be)

back from the borderline ·

2025/06/24

If you were to believe the dominant frameworks of modern psychology, psychiatry, and popular self-help, you might assume that personality is a fixed structure. An inherited configuration of traits, disorders, or diagnoses that define who you are and what you are capable of becoming. In this episode, we trace the deeper story of how that idea came to take root.Long before the invention of the DSM or the rise of diagnostic labels, ancient and esoteric systems treated personality as dynamic and

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1:18:51

what you're calling a breakdown might be a dark baptism

back from the borderline ·

2025/06/17

Some people call it a breakdown. Others call it trauma. But when you look closely, these moments often follow a pattern. These moments come at a threshold (whether it’s psychologically, spiritually, emotionally) and they leave you changed forever.In this episode, we’ll get into what happens when life initiates you before you’re ready. When you’re too young, too unprotected, or too unsupported to understand what’s happening, let alone integrate it. These are the kinds of events that completely

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15:01

let them cook: shadow work, shame, and the stew of self

back from the borderline ·

2025/06/12

You’ve probably seen the phrase: let him cook. It gets used online when someone’s deep in a process that looks weird from the outside. Messy, maybe misguided… but people step back and give it space. The idea is simple: something’s happening. Don’t interrupt.That phrase has been stuck in my head for months, and this episode is what came out of sitting with it. We’ll talk about what it actually means to let something take the time it needs to become real. What it feels like to stop rushing yourself to

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