Golf Is Ruining My Life

34:47

Is It EVER Okay To Be A Bandit?

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/08/05

Alright Par Pals 👋A sponsor-free, brought-to-you-by-YOU email corner this week, and it's a good one. We debate whether there's ever a circumstance where it's genuinely okay to be a bandit (Liam from Germany might just have found it), and marvel at the world's longest seven wood, a 250 yard freak shot across a cobblestone bridge that started a full-blown junior vs grumpy members war. 😤 We also get into the tragedy of the hole-in-one nobody can ever know about (anonymous snuck off work, and it

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35:13

The Great Net Handicap Scandal

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/08/02

Alright Par Pals 👋Big topics this week. We're on a mission to convince you that a 300 yard drive is worthless because a good SCORE is the only thing that actually sticks with you. We also finally get to the bottom of artisan golf , make the case for a proper UK & Ireland links swing after Birkdale, and TG tells the story of the mate who asked for advice and then flatly refused to take it. Also with our friends at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠England Golf⁠⁠⁠, Ben serves up a genuinely tragic Toast or Roast. All

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39:10

GORDON SMART | The Most Nerve-Shredding Tee Shot In...

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/31

WE'RE BACK with a new episode of Talk Birdie To Me This week we're joined by broadcaster and proud Scotsman, Gordon Smart. 30 minutes of chat about learning to grip a club with his grandad, the perfect golf handicap (spoiler: he agrees with us) and quite possibly the most horrendous first tee experience ever told on this show, hungover at Sunningdale, following Geoff Hurst, Jimmy Tarbuck and Lee Sharpe. 😳 We also hear how golf got him through losing his voice and his job in lockdown, playing the

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35:02

The Perfect Handicap Revealed

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/29

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BOOK YOUR NEXT GOLFBREAKS TRIP MY CLICKING HERE ⁠⁠Alright Par Pals 👋 TG is in a full non-golfing slump (moving house means the beloved shed studio is being retired 😢) but that won't stop us solving one of golf's great debates once and for all: what is the PERFECT golf handicap? We also get into why being fitted by someone who ISN'T incentivised to upsell you is a total game-changer, and how long it takes for the hope to reignite after a truly disastrous round It's also the FINAL

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37:05

The Golf Story That Could Get Us SUED

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/26

Alright Par Pals 👋Buckle up, because this week TG tells a story so scandalous it could get us sued. For legal reasons, none of it happened to anyone we know it happened to a man called Tommy Greenfield, from Ireland, who mows fields until 1pm. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is entirely coincidental. We also get into the shyness of the new golfer, the various times we've had to walk off a course early (Celtic Manor, RIP), and TP relives his club championship meltdown. We’ve also got

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37:29

Phantom ARM Johnnies

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/22

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BOOK YOUR NEXT GOLFBREAKS TRIP MY CLICKING HERE ⁠⁠Alright Par Pals 👋 TP has turned up sporting a full facial midlife crisis. His hairdresser left the moustache on, his wife hasn't replied to the text and we can't stop talking about it. Genuinely one for the Spotify/YouTube crowd this week. 🥸 We also get deep into arm Johnnies (UV protection, very sexy), the correct sock length for golf shorts (a masterclass, honestly) and the ongoing dream of a GIRML golf day with Stella on draft. In

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23:56

SUNDAY at THE OPEN // 200-1 AND HE DID IT! Ryan Fox...

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/20

Alright Par Pals 👋 Ryan Fox has only gone and won the 154th Open at 200-1 odds. Nobody saw it coming, and honestly, we love it he looks like one of us, he plays like one of us and he's now drinking wine out of the Claret Jug. Absolutely brilliant. 🏆 We also talk Tommy Fleetwood's three bogeys in a row that cost him his home Open (genuinely heartbreaking), Bryson exiting without speaking to the press, and how the online mood has swung on the whole Rory situation. Plus we rank all four major

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34:47

SATURDAY at THE OPEN // Team Bryson Or Team Rory?

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/20

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠BOOK YOUR NEXT GOLFBREAKS TRIP MY CLICKING HERE ⁠⁠ Alright Par Pals 👋 We're back after a very heavy comedown from Thursday's high at Birkdale (and after accidentally announcing a sponsorship deal with Netjets that... definitely wasn't a sponsorship deal 🛩️). Turns out you can't just say something on a podcast and make it true. Today it's ALL about Bryson. Did he stamp it down? Did he mean it? Is Rory right? Faldo's gone in on him for having no strategy, despite Bryson beating his best ever

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34:38

ALEX HORNE | The Man Who Refuses To Get Better At...

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/17

WE'RE BACK with a new episode of the Talk Birdie To Me Series and this week we're joined by comedian, Taskmaster creator and Bad Golf legend, Alex Horne. 30 minutes of chat about why he has ZERO interest in getting better at golf, his theory that winning is actually embarrassing, and the day he played a pro-am with Adam Scott, Michael McIntyre and Clare Balding. 😅 We also find out about his gloriously chaotic golf bag, why he's made peace with a handicap that never moves and his DREAM four ball

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32:13

FROM THE FAIRWAYS OF BIRKDALE!

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/16

We simply cannot believe it… today’s episode is coming to you LIVE (ish) from a Thursday at a MAJOR. We will be brining you all the action from day one of the 154th Open at Royal Birkdale. AND by all the action we mean following Max Homa relentlessly… it got a bit weird! We have to say a massive thank you to GolfNow for inviting us down and hosting us for the day. MUCH more to come between us and them in 2027. ALSO a massive thank you to our news best mates at NetJets (lols) Also, screw the

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35:29

MORE secrets from the GLENEAGLES greenkeeping team 🏌️

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/14

Welcome back to PART TWO of our very special episode with the guys over at Glen Moray Single Malt Whisky, where we're getting an even deeper insight into what it's ACTUALLY like to be a greenkeeper at one of the world's best golf courses. We're back with Andrew Jowett (AJ) Director of Golf and Grant Frogley the Golf Courses Manager at Gleneagles, answering more of YOUR questions ahead of the 2026 ISPS Handa Senior Open Championship. If you thought Part One was eye-opening, this one goes even

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34:12

I've Been Living A Handicap Lie ⛳

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/13

Alright Par Pals 👋 TP has come to a difficult realisation: he's been vanity handicapping. After clinging on to a five for far too long, his handicap has crept back up to nine and he's never been happier about it. We get into why the handicap has so much power over us and why letting go might actually be the answer. We've also somehow been LONGLISTED for a British Podcast Award (up against Peter Crouch, who has never done admin in the middle of an episode) 🏆, we've got a genuinely brilliant Toast

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34:10

The GLENEAGLES greenkeeping team TELL ALL!

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/10

Today is a VERY special episode of Golf Is Ruining My Life as we are teaming up with the guys over at Glen Moray Single Malt Whisky to give you an insight into what it is ACTUALLY like to be a greenskeeper at one of the worlds best golf courses. In celebration of the 2026 ISPS Handa Senior Open Championship we are putting your questions to Andrew Jowett (AJ) Director of Golf and Grant Frogley the Golf Courses Manager at Gleneagles. We have always wanted to highlight the amazing work the teams

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36:49

He Drove His Trolley Into a Lake… With His Car Keys...

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/08

⁠⁠⁠⁠BOOK YOUR NEXT GOLFBREAKS TRIP MY CLICKING HERE ⁠⁠ Alright Par Pals 👋 The tour's done, life has lost all meaning, so naturally we're back to talk absolute nonsense with you. This week. TP has beef with a marshal (on the 17th, obviously, because when else), we get deep into the great two-ball-letting-a-two-ball-through debate, and there's a lads-trip incident involving our mate Luke, a runaway push trolley, a large body of water! Thanks to our friends at GolfBreaks for hooking us up with

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36:02

I Snapped My Brand New Wedge In A Bunker 😳

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/05

Alright Par Pals 👋 TP hits the big 3-5 this week and we're reflecting on why golf is one of the few things that actually gets BETTER as you get older. But first, we have to talk about the wedge incident. Yes, TP snapped his brand new ping 60 degree in a bunker during his annual match with his mate George and had to do the walk of shame folding it away. Grim. 😳 We also FINALLY reveal the big secret we've been keeping all tour (spoiler: four of you are coming to Egypt with us 🐪), relive the shot

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29:02

ANDREW COLTART | What It's Really Like To Play With...

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/02

WE'RE BACK with a new episode of the Talk Birdie To Me Series and this week we're joined by Sky Sports legend and former European Tour pro, Andrew Coltart. 30 minutes of chat about life on tour in the 90s, what it was really like playing alongside Tiger Woods and the prank that involved a firehose and an unsuspecting hotel room. 🚒 We also get his tips for staying in love with golf, his predictions for the Open at Birkdale and his DREAM four ball. 👀 MASSIVE thanks to our friends at GOLF NOW for

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35:58

A 15 Year Old Shot 3 Under ... THEN GOT BANNED!

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/07/01

⁠⁠⁠⁠BOOK YOUR NEXT GOLFBREAKS TRIP MY CLICKING HERE ⁠⁠ Alright Par Pals 👋 The tour is nearly over, we are absolutely exhausted and Tom Green walked into a door after having the time of his life at Blitz Golf. Classic. We're also planning the GIRML Golf Day for 2027 and getting very excited about it. In the email corner with our friends at Golf Breaks, we hear from a 15 year old who shot 3 under in a comp, had his card questioned by a bond villain and then got banned from the medal. We are

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30:12

We Played In Front Of Crowds At Blitz Golf

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/06/29

Alright Par Pals 👋 We've just walked off the course at Blitz Golf and we are still recovering. Playing in front of actual crowds turns out to be a genuinely terrifying experience, even for two goobers like us. We talk you through the round hole by hole, including a flop shot Tom Green is calling "the shot of his life", a few too many trees taking the brunt of our bad swings, and why six-hole formats might just be the future of golf events. Massive thanks to our caddies Rob and Seb for putting up

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36:27

Barbecues, Sweaty Hands & A Driver Crisis

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/06/24

Alright Par Pals 👋 It's officially the hottest day of the year and we are STRUGGLING. Em's got a barbecue going five yards from Tom Green's head and he simply cannot focus on anything else. We've also got Tom Price's dog Phoebe joining the pod for the first time and a full driver crisis after an emergency 8am golf lesson before the radio. Thanks to our friends at GolfBreaks for hooking us up with an amazing prize, remember the best email of the summer will be joining us for 4 nights at

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33:30

Can we WIN A PRO TOURNAMENT?? (no, no we can't)

Golf Is Ruining My Life ·

2026/06/22

Hey Par Pals! Welcome to the slightly delayed Monday episode. Sorry but we were TIRED AFTER OUR TOUR SHOW (have we mentioned we were on tour? Tickets still available for Liverpool and a FEW for London...). On the show today: TOM HAS A PLAN TO WIN BLITZ TOM HAS FOUND A CADDY AND WYNDHAM WON WITH TOM'S PUTTER! All this and more on the way! Toms Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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