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PODCAST

Beyond Success

Are you a high achiever who"s worked hard, found success, but still feels like something"s missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to "Beyond Success," the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I"m David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I"m also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience,

education self-improvement

All Episodes

23:49

#41: The High Cost of Hiding Your True Emotions

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/20

Many high achievers treat vulnerability as if it’s a four-letter word. And it’s easy to understand why: they’ve been told leaders must keep their emotions in check, and be level-headed and strong in the face of challenges. But the misunderstandings about vulnerability aren’t just unfortunate, they’re devastating. Because they lead to people going numb to their feelings and relationships, all while convincing themselves they’re doing the right thing. In this episode I’m going to cut through the fog

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30:47

#40: You’ve Been Lied to About What It Means To Be...

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/13

Almost everything you’ve learned about emotional “strength” is not only a flat-out lie, but completely backwards. Toughing it out, staying in control, never letting others see you sweat - these aren’t signs of emotional strength, but emotional blindness. And emotional blindness comes with a steep cost that nobody deserves to pay: It leaves you empty, unfulfilled (even after milestone achievements), and depressed. Why? Because the old way of being emotionally strong is really fear in disguise. And

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28:54

#39: The Human Shield Excuse: Why Goodness Dies When...

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/06

Let’s stop pretending this is just a problem for soldiers and politicians. The “human shields excuse” isn’t just some abstract wartime tactic—it’s the same twisted reasoning people use every day to justify hurting others, dodging accountability, or compromising their integrity. It’s what lets you blow up a relationship and blame the other person for making you do it. It’s how you rationalize crossing a line—then sleep at night because technically, it wasn’t your fault. In war, this excuse gets

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30:43

#38: Success Doesn't Heal Shame: Why the Hustle Kills...

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/30

Too many people are numb to life, unable to enjoy themselves and their relationships even if they’ve achieved great things. The real problem isn’t intelligence, skill, or drive. It’s a failure to process emotions properly because they’ve lost the ability to use their “heart-mind.” Sadly, most of us have been subtly conditioned to not even know we’re approaching this all wrong. Thankfully, you can learn how to regain clarity of your heart-mind. And once you do, and stick with it, the results are

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41:20

#37: The Books That Helped Me Stop Proving Myself and...

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/23

The Achiever’s Curse is a deadly one. It starts subtle at first. But left unchecked long enough, it seeps into every aspect of your life, stealing joy and fulfillment every step of the way. Too many achievers don’t realize this insidious curse until they feel the intense pangs of regret on their deathbed. Far too late, in other words. I want to help you avoid this terrible fate… I have read well over 1,000 books in my life - spanning across psychology, philosophy, leadership, business, religion,

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25:58

#36: The Hidden Reason Smart People Make Terrible...

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/16

Perhaps the most important skill an intelligent person can learn is the Dao of Decision Making. Making tough, high-stakes decisions doesn’t come naturally to high achievers because they’ve been fooled into valuing their intelligence more than their emotions. But every decision has its roots in emotions… and relying solely on logic and data for these decisions is a quick way to make a decision that wrecks your marriage, your internal harmony, and even your future fulfillment. In other words, there

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24:03

#35: The Silent Way Emotional Avoidance Destroys Success

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/09

High achievers are vulnerable to emotional avoidance. It’s subtle, sneaky, and seductive. It tricks you into thinking you’re making progress or crushing goals. But when everything feels flat - no matter how big the accomplishment - it’s a sign that you’re under the spell of emotional avoidance. And emotional avoidance comes with a devastating cost: Losing the entire gamut of your emotions. That might sound alluring at first, until you realize the full cost. It’s not just mental, but physical too

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25:25

#34: Why Smart, Driven People Struggle Emotionally (&...

Beyond Success ·

2025/05/02

Most high achievers learned at a young age that emotions were distractions. This early lesson inspired much of their success… but it came at a terrible cost: It develops emotional blindspots that quietly, patiently, and relentlessly sabotage you. Here’s the thing about emotional blindspots: No matter how much you try to stuff them down and pretend they don’t exist, they don’t simply disappear. Instead, they move underground. They become sneakier. More insidious. And more sabotaging. Worst part

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24:48

#33: The Myth of Emotional Toughness: Why Suppressing...

Beyond Success ·

2025/04/25

Most high achievers take pride in the fact that they’re not too emotional. They stay cool under pressure, act like nothing bothers them, wear their emotional armor like a badge. But one day, they wake up and realize that they’re a mere observer of their life. They’re not actually living their own life. Instead, they feel empty, like something’s missing that they can’t quite put their finger on. Worst part? They don’t realize that the emotional armor they wore so proudly is the exact thing

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24:13

#32: Why "Working on Yourself" Can Make Things Worse

Beyond Success ·

2025/04/18

There are 3 distinct levels to personal development and self-improvement. And most high achievers get trapped forever in Level 2—never fully healing or integrating with their internal world because they’re stuck trying to conquer it. While Level 2 is helpful up to a point, if you stay in Level 2 for too long, you’ll never experience true healing or integration. Worst part? Most influencers and coaches intentionally keep you stuck at Level 2 because it’s easier to sell you “the one thing” you need

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24:44

#31: You're Not Broken, Your Mind Just Learned the...

Beyond Success ·

2025/04/11

There are certain emotional scripts you learned in your formative years that are running your life today. These emotional patterns aren’t the enemy. They don’t mean that you're broken as a person or flawed in an insidious way. Instead, it simply means that you’re not aware of these emotional scripts. But if you’re been stuck in the same loops for years, trying harder, doing the same thing over and over, something deeper is necessary. In fact, gritting your teeth and trying harder will only give

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25:41

#30: Why You're Burnt Out, Unfulfilled, & Still Not...

Beyond Success ·

2025/04/04

Most people, and high achievers in particular, suffer from a paradoxical problem: Trying too hard backfires and causes your deepest, darkest fears to realize. When high achievers are confronted with a problem in their personal or professional life, their first instinct is to push harder, work longer, go on more dates. They’re desperately searching for connection, peace, joy, and love. But they don’t realize that their need for control keeps these forever out of their reach. But there’s an ancient

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27:42

#29: How to Find Peace by Leaning into Chaos

Beyond Success ·

2025/03/28

Most high achievers have been sold a lie: that Chaos is a threat that will take everything from you, and the only way to handle it is with more control. But if you look into any high achiever’s life, relationships, or business, you’ll see a similar through line: They’re quietly miserable no matter how much material success they’ve accumulated. Why does this same story play out across so many lives? Because when you try to control chaos, you cut yourself off from half of life. Peace doesn’t come

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21:49

#28: How to Create Deep Connection, No Matter Who's...

Beyond Success ·

2025/03/21

If you wanted to grow bigger muscles, you could read all the strength training books you wanted. But until you go to the gym and apply your knowledge to your body, your muscles will never grow. That’s the same way the muscle of connection works. But for some reason, high achievers especially are prone to fall into the trap of thinking they can build connection by listening to podcasts, reading books, or even going into individual therapy. This misses the mark that connection is a skill. And the

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22:19

#27: Why Success Kills Connection (& What To Do...

Beyond Success ·

2025/03/14

Most people who struggle with connection chalk it up to a personality trait. They think their personality, which benefits them in other areas, just makes connection harder for them. But this is actually a defense mechanism in disguise, created by a protective part of you that was created by an old wound. This wounded part of you whispers into your ear that connection will come if you just hustle more, achieve more accolades, or have more material success. But this protective part of you is stuck

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26:18

#26: The Hidden Reason You're Unfulfilled (Even If...

Beyond Success ·

2025/03/07

Successful high achievers think they can always rely on themselves more than on other people. This idea helped fuel their success. But it’s also why their success isn’t fulfilling, and why they feel on the verge of burnout. In fact, a deep-rooted drive to do everything yourself is a sign that something's off under the surface. Isolation isn’t a strength. It’s a slow acting poison that leads to burnout, frustration, and an early grave. And you know what? If you resonate with this, you’ve just

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23:50

#25: Why You're Not Happy & Fulfilled (Even Though...

Beyond Success ·

2025/02/28

If you’re a high achiever, you probably have a tendency to prioritize work above all else. Results are the most important thing to you. And all the other stuff—like deep relationships that offer true connection—are treated as “nice to haves.” But this is perhaps the biggest tragedy a high achiever could face. Because when something hits the fan one day (whether a gut-wrenching divorce, a paralyzing business problem, or even achieving a massive milestone), there’s nobody you care about whom you can

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28:55

Why You Keep Attracting the Wrong People (& How to...

Beyond Success ·

2025/02/21

Most people chalk up their attraction problems to external sources: Maybe they think they need better strategies and skills. Or they believe that dating apps are against them. Or maybe it’s just that they’re unlucky. Here’s the bad news: If you've been struggling with attraction, confidence, or relationships, the problem isn't some external force working against you. The real issue is the unconscious patterns, your “Relationship Blueprint,” controlling your life. Worst part? Since your mind creates

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30:43

The Dark Psychology Behind Attraction Strategies (and...

Beyond Success ·

2025/02/14

As a former player myself, I know first-hand how crushing the “Grandiosity-Shame Cycle” is. Almost all players fall into this psychological trap that only leads to rage, doubt, depression, and despair. But you know what? It’s not just players who are at risk of falling into this sabotaging cycle. Any one who builds his or her identity around external validation is at risk of falling into this deep emotional hole, where compulsive self-destruction and total emptiness become your new normal. To

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35:18

The Dating Lies You've Been Sold (And Why They're...

Beyond Success ·

2025/02/07

Men who have a desire to improve at dating often fall into the trap of tactics. And they fundamentally believe that their lack of success is not because of them, but because of the modern dating world. So they seek to “optimize” individual tactics involved in modern dating—fixing their profile on dating apps, becoming more successful in their career, hitting the gym and getting a six-pack—without ever confronting the real root cause of their dating failures: Themselves! Of course, this route is far

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186 results

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