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PODCAST

Beyond Success

Are you a high achiever who"s worked hard, found success, but still feels like something"s missing? Do you wonder what the point of it all is, and long for deeper meaning or love in your life? Welcome to "Beyond Success," the podcast for high achievers seeking fulfillment, happiness, and true purpose. I"m David Tian, Ph.D., Leadership Coach, Certified IFS Therapy Practitioner (Level 3), and a former university professor. I"m also a proud father and husband. I bring two decades of experience,

education self-improvement

All Episodes

24:48

#60: The Truth About Connection: Why Success Feels...

Beyond Success ·

2025/10/31

Ambitious people fall into a trap: You've learned from a young age that achievement means love, and so, you chase achievement and other external markers of success only to realize the gnawing void is still there. Most think their childhood patterns will get dissolved by father time. But the truth is, these patterns adapt to your knowledge, and become masters of disguising themselves.Take, for example, the seductive idea of independence. For ambitious men, independence is really isolation in

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29:12

#59: Why Being Yourself Feels Unsafe (But Why It's...

Beyond Success ·

2025/10/24

Most people spend their lives performing. Pretending to be who they think they should be — polished, composed, and never too much. But underneath, they feel like frauds. Because the parts of themselves they’ve hidden — the anger, the neediness, the shame — are still alive, whispering, “If they really knew you, they’d leave.” That’s why being yourself feels unsafe. Every instinct screams that honesty will cost you love, success, and belonging. So you hide behind competence, humor, or charm. You keep

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26:59

#58: Why Authenticity Feels Risky & Why It's the Only...

Beyond Success ·

2025/10/17

There is a seductive and destructive lie many people fall into: Learn the best tricks and gimmicks and you can have complete control over your relationships - romantic and business. It’s so seductive because it promises control and success, but it’s even more destructive because it delivers fear instead of control and breeds insecurity instead of success. Worst part? These tricks and tactics work in the short-term, but they come with a mighty hidden cost: You slowly erode your self-confidence and

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26:50

#57: How Deep-Rooted Sexual Shame Cripples Connection...

Beyond Success ·

2025/10/10

In pickup artist culture, men see women’s natural defenses as tests and shields. Pass these “shit tests” and break through her “bitch shields,” and you win her love and affection. But women aren’t sitting around scheming elaborate tests or plotting shields. They're responding to lived experiences, not imagined battle plans. That’s why these pickup artist tricks, while they can work in the short-term, never result in lasting love and connection. They’re based on lies, drenched in sexual shame, and

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34:19

#56: The Moral Case for Ethical Seduction & Why It’s...

Beyond Success ·

2025/10/03

There are two strategies men deploy when they’re dating, but insecure. Either they try the “Nice Guy” approach or its opposite, the pickup artist approach. But even though these strategies are polar opposites, they suffer the same moral flaw of concealment. Whenever you put on a mask over yourself, you sever the possibility of authentic connection. The solution? Ethical seduction based on radical transparency. This way sounds harder because it is: It requires you to be honest with yourself and the

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26:24

#55: Stop Hiding: How to Turn Guilt Into Growth...

Beyond Success ·

2025/09/26

What do you do after you fall short of your values? If you’re like most of us, you deflect, you hide, and you collapse into toxic shame that severs your self-trust and self-respect. But there’s another way to deal with your failures that can actually improve your relationship with yourself and others. This other way? Acknowledging healthy guilt without falling into the seductive trap of toxic shame. It’s not as easy as letting yourself wallow in self-pity - but it’s worth it in the long-term.

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33:46

#54: Why Your Dark Side Isn't the Enemy—It's What Can...

Beyond Success ·

2025/09/19

Most people walk around fighting an invisible war inside themselves. On the outside, they play the part of the “good person.” But behind the mask lurk the emotions they’ve been told are unacceptable—envy, lust, anger, cruelty, shame. In families, in religions, in schools, the lesson was drilled in: don’t show that side of yourself. So those parts get buried. But buried parts don’t disappear. They fester. They leak out as addictions, compulsions, betrayals, and self-sabotage. And the harder you try

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33:32

#53: Breaking Free from Sexual Shame: The Hidden...

Beyond Success ·

2025/09/12

Most people, thanks to religious, cultural, or family baggage, carry around the unnecessary burden of toxic sexual shame. Sometimes this isn’t even your own shame, it’s been passed down through generations under the guise of virtue. Here’s the problem: Unchecked sexual shame seeps into your relationships, your leadership, and threatens your very fulfillment of life. Even if it was never yours to carry. That’s why it’s imperative to lift your burden of sexual shame. Not only will it keep your

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29:38

#52: Why Compassion is the Secret to Trust, Love, &...

Beyond Success ·

2025/09/05

There’s one ingredient missing from many high achievers’ lives that drains all the fulfillment from their success, turns small failures into a life-or-death scenario, and slowly poisons your relationships at home and at work. Worst part? Most high achievers have conditioned themselves into believing that this missing ingredient is a weakness to be snuffed out at each step. So, they trap themselves in a toxic cycle that keeps repeating no matter how many of the variables they try to change. The

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25:31

#51: Why Courage Is Key to the Life You’ve Been Chasing

Beyond Success ·

2025/08/29

Most people treat fear as the enemy. They avoid it, numb it, or try to silence it. But here’s the truth: fear isn’t the problem. Fear is the forge where courage is born. Every meaningful step in life requires it. Asking for the promotion. Saying what you actually want in a relationship. Telling the truth when it risks your reputation. Without courage, integrity collapses. Relationships stay shallow. Careers stall. And fulfillment slips further out of reach. In this new episode, David reveals why

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31:45

#50: Integrity: Why It's Required for Happiness & How...

Beyond Success ·

2025/08/22

If you constantly feel on edge, like a wave of anxiety is always crashing directly into your nervous system, then I have some tough news for you: The root of anxiety is almost always a lack of integrity in some aspect of your life. When you tell yourself one thing, but then do another thing, your body keeps score. It knows you’re lying to yourself (and to others). And this is where integrity fractures, causing insurmountable anxiety, agitation, and a complete loss of peace and fulfillment. But you

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30:15

#49: The Surprising Power of Moral Character in a...

Beyond Success ·

2025/08/15

There’s a deep irony that happens to people who chase validation and power at all costs: They’re the ones who end up exhausted, paranoid, alone, burnt out, bitter, and resentful in the long-term. If it hasn't happened yet, it’s only a matter of time. The trouble is, many high achievers fall into this insidious trap of self-sabotage. You may have even noticed some of the signs starting to emerge in your life. There is a solution to this. A way where you build trust with your inner system, and get

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27:20

#48: Why the Sage's Journey Fulfills You When the...

Beyond Success ·

2025/08/08

There’s an ancient Western myth that’s been adopted by the masses and often without their consent. It can be found in movies like Star Wars and Finding Nemo. It’s in books like The Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. It’s the secret theme included in your favorite TEDx Talk. And it’s something that’s taken for granted in almost every business podcast that exists. Worst part? This myth may be responsible for your success… but, if left unchecked, it’s responsible for the low-grade anxiety,

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20:18

#47: Why Self-Help Isn't Working (& The Mirror Method...

Beyond Success ·

2025/08/01

Most people I’ve coached have a similar story: They inherited the “Silent Blueprint” lie as a child that told them they must perform, impress, and achieve to feel like they’re enough. And yet, at a certain point, their wins feel like losses. No matter how much they achieve, they go to bed with a dull emptiness in their chest that they can’t explain, much less address. Why? Because no amount of winning fills the void in your internal system. Turns out, the “Silent Blueprint” wasn’t just a lie, but

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21:04

#46: Why You Still Feel Stuck Even After Doing 'The...

Beyond Success ·

2025/07/25

So many high achievers do the “right things.” They read the books. They practice breath work. They follow the morning routines. They “hack” their productivity. All of these things can make them feel calmer, more in control, and more focused. Until chaos erupts, and you find yourself back in your same-old destructive patterns and emotional loops. Why does this happen? Because most personal development is only surface level. And since it’s only surface level, as soon as your deeper parts get

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21:53

#45: Why Hustling Harder Will Only Get You Worse Results

Beyond Success ·

2025/07/18

Most high achievers are being driven by the absolute worst source of fuel: Fear, guilt, shame, and insecurities. These traps are alluring because they’re actually effective routes to short-term success. And they disguise themselves as grit, discipline, and sheer determination. Problem is… the well eventually runs dry. And that’s the real reason why you feel stuck, uninspired, drained, and like you’re always playing catch up. Worst part? You might feel like you’re being lazy, undisciplined, or

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21:23

#44: When 'Self-Defense' Becomes Self-Destruction

Beyond Success ·

2025/07/11

Many leaders are driven by an insidious fear that tells them their sense of self-worth depends on their ability to protect their mask. But your mask is just an outdated story your subconscious created, and protecting this mask can only drive a wedge between you and your spouse, your kids, and your team. This is why it feels like you’re constantly at war. You are. Feedback morphs into betrayal. Correction morphs into humiliation. Making a mistake makes you feel like you’re being erased. This is not

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22:02

#43: Why No State Has a 'Right to Exist' and Why That...

Beyond Success ·

2025/07/04

The “right to exist” is a common myth used to justify aggression, destruction, and death. But states aren’t people. Structures rise and fall all the time. And using this argument to justify the actions of a state is misleading at best, and downright evil at worst. And yet… people make a similar faulty argument in their own lives all the time. This is especially true if you have a leadership position: A founder clings to a vision that no longer works. A CEO resists a restructuring that could save

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21:16

#42: Emotional Strength Isn’t Built by Crushing Your...

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/27

The trickiest part about healing your inner world is learning to figure out the difference between self-help schticks and true healing. They are often confused with each other - especially by high achievers. And the cost you pay for mixing them up is hefty. Like, for example: * Striving for more and more success even when it feels empty * Sabotaging your relationships at home and at work * Developing a severe case of burnout, numbness, and depression And worst of all: * Tricking yourself into

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23:49

#41: The High Cost of Hiding Your True Emotions

Beyond Success ·

2025/06/20

Many high achievers treat vulnerability as if it’s a four-letter word. And it’s easy to understand why: they’ve been told leaders must keep their emotions in check, and be level-headed and strong in the face of challenges. But the misunderstandings about vulnerability aren’t just unfortunate, they’re devastating. Because they lead to people going numb to their feelings and relationships, all while convincing themselves they’re doing the right thing. In this episode I’m going to cut through the fog

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