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PODCAST

Adventures of Des and Cort

adventuresofdesandcort

Welcome to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast, where lifelong friendship meets unfiltered conversation. Join Des and Cort, two best friends, as they invite you into their world filled with laughter, tears, and everything in between.In each episode, Des and Cort delve deep into the intricacies of their bond, sharing stories of their adventures, triumphs, and challenges. From navigating the complexities of relationships to tackling career aspirations and personal growth, nothing is

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All Episodes

40:40

Buddy Bench Besties: Table For Two, Always

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/06/05

Send us a text This week, we’re reporting live from the Buddy Bench…population: us. After our big golf league dreams ended with just the two of us sipping drinks alone on the patio, we realized maybe we’re not everyone's cup of Arnold Palmer. But hey, we crack ourselves up, so it’s fine. 😅⛳🍹 We chat: 🐱 Zeek the cat’s midlife crisis. He’s gone missing and were not sure if he went back to his other family. Um, rude? 🛣️ Men and directions: still a national emergency. 🌀 Cort's anxiety attack

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40:20

Gas Station Snacks and Golf Course Panic Attacks

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/05/29

Send us a text ⛳️ Golf league started and somehow we’ve Freaky Friday’d into each other’s personalities — Cort’s the rule-reading golf scholar and Des is out here raw-dogging the fairway with a vodka soda and vibes. 😵‍💫 We talk about: 🚙 The sacred art of road trip snacking (and why a $100 gas station haul is basically therapy) 😩 The soul-crushing feeling of coming home after a trip 🫠 The Handmaid’s Tale finale… we are a bit disappointed 🏕️ Why putting us in the mountains = instant serotonin

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36:57

Tell Us We Suck…We Can Work With That

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/05/22

Send us a text In this episode, we unpack a senior moment that led Des to accidentally download something that made her computer scream for help (the internet is a scary place, folks). We also attempt to navigate the absolute emotional landmine that is… being given a compliment. Like, what do you want us to do, smile? Say thank you?? Our imposter syndrome said no. We also catch up on the Handmaid’s Tale (no spoilers, but we’re still emotionally unstable), dive into the nostalgia rabbit ...

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38:46

Trees Can Hear You, Diddy's In Trouble and We're Tired

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/05/15

Send us a text We laughed, we ranted, we asked trees for emotional support. 🌳😭 This week’s episode is brought to you by exhaustion, unhinged headlines, and the absolute audacity of people who park like they’re in a bumper car arena. 🚗💥 We’re coming down from the post-event high (read: crash), which means everything annoys us just a little bit more than usual. Like family members putting things where they do not belong 😤 or sucky parkers who clearly said, “That’ll do,” and walked away with

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33:15

Delulu Is The Only Solulu

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/05/09

Send us a text 🚨 Warning: We’re operating at peak delusion this week and honestly? It’s working for us. 😎✨ In this episode of Delulu Is The Only Solulu, we unravel the pure chaos that is planning a golf tournament 🏌️‍♀️⛳ (if spreadsheets were edible, we’d be stress-snacking on them). But mark our words—we’re about to host the best damn golf event this town has ever seen 💅💥. We chat about how the mental load we carry as women is WILD 🧠💫 (we love men, but let’s be real—they’d fold like lawn

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38:28

Aloha, Hot Stuff!

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/05/01

Send us a text This week’s episode is full of ✨closet meltdowns, chaotic would-you-rathers, and a surprising amount of bathroom talk,✨you're welcome in advance. We kick things off with a fashion crisis. Shopping when your brain is running on 47 tabs and a half-charged mental battery? Impossible. 🧠 Des is loyal to her high-rise jeans…but not too baggy, please! Cort, on the other hand, has a torso the length of a crouton and high-rise is NOT invited. Her mid-section demands mid or low-rise

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31:39

B.O.L.O.

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/04/24

Send us a text 🚨 BOLO!🚨 (Be On the Lookout…Cort just realized what that means and we’re never letting it go 🤣) In this episode, we’re covering all the chaos, cringe, and country living struggles you never knew you needed. Cort kicks us off with a HOT (literally) flash about losing power in the middle of nowhere 🏡⚡aka, no water, no showers, and lots of questioning life choices. Because when you're on a well system, power outages don’t just mean no Netflix... they mean no flushing 🚽😩. Then we

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36:50

Space Ships, Sales Tips, and Sassy Rants

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/04/17

Send us a text 🚀 Buckle up, Besties this episode is flying straight to the moon…and it’s full of hot flashes, high brows, and zero tolerance for bad behavior. 😤🔥 This week, we’re ranting about disrespectful kids on the golf course (WHERE are your parents? ⛳️👀), and shady corporations dragging small businesses to try and keep your business (the audacity 🙄💼). We romanticize the heck out of life 💐🎶✨ because when you pretend you’re in a movie montage, the vibes are brighter, smells are better,

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36:53

Old Man Energy

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/04/10

Send us a text Old Man Energy has officially entered the chat… and it’s wearing readers 👓, yelling “HUHHH?” at full volume, and making sure we stretch before walking briskly 🧍‍♀️‍➡️🧍‍♀️💨. We’re recapping our Bingo event 🎉 (shoutout to all the Besties that showed up 💕), plus another event where Des won a prize 🏆 but immediately went into full panic mode at the idea of attention 😳. She tried to pawn the prize off on Cort (❌ denied), then smoothly talked our boss into claiming it 🫣. Meanwhile,

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40:10

Lieabetes

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/04/03

Send us a text Buckle up, besties—this episode is a ride. 🎢 First up, we need to talk about 1923 and how Spencer is STILL trying to get back to the ranch. Like, sir… we know it’s the early 1900s, but even a homing pigeon would’ve made it by now. 🦅⏳ Then, we dive into the chaos that is Lori Vallow’s latest interview, where she fully doubled down on her delusions. The audacity? Unmatched. The detachment from reality? Astronomical. 🚀🤯 Cort shares some true crime level drama from her own

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48:58

Yikes!

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/03/27

Send us a text 🚨 YIKES! 🚨The only word that truly captures this week’s absolute mess. First up: battling insurance for the 4th time like it’s the Hunger Games except instead of a bow and arrow, we have a 3-hour hold time and a slowly dying will to live. 🎯📞🙃 Then, being exposed by the kids because they repeat things we probably shouldn’t have said to them. Who knew that your mom tells you she will “Donkey Punch” you wasn’t appropriate to mention to a Vice Principal?🤷‍♀️ ...

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39:30

Salty, Defiant and Extremely Noncompliant

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/03/20

Send us a text Buckle up, b*tches…this week’s episode is a wild ride through salty confessions, defiant energy, and our refusal to be compliant with… well, pretty much anything. Salty, Defiant, and Extremely Noncompliant is exactly what you'd expect from us…chaotic, hilarious, and slightly concerning. 🔥 Hot Flash Alert: Dating in your 30s, 40s, and 50s sounds like an extreme sport, and based on our single friends' horror stories… we’re glad we’re not playing. 🥂 FUP...

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41:42

💸 Trust Fund Babies Trapped in Middle-Class Bodies💸

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/03/13

Send us a text This week, we’re living proof that money can’t buy happiness… but we’re pretty sure it could rent it for a while. 🤷‍♀️ We kick things off by bitching just enough to clear our chakras before getting back to being grateful or whatever. If only we were trust fund babies, we’d be out here living our best lives…golfing, gym’ing, vacationing, and swiping the Black Card like we’re in a rom-com montage. Instead, we’re over here stress-spending on things that make zero sense (but hey,

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32:35

Shitty Situations

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/03/06

Send us a text From peaceful getaways to public health violations, this one is a ride. Buckle up. Des took a relaxing trip with her sister to Hagerman, soaking in the peace and quiet… until a mom decided to change a full-on code-brown diaper right on the breakfast table. 🍳💩 Bon appétit! Meanwhile, Cort’s hot flash is all about Negative Nancys, you know, the people who wouldn’t be happy even if they won the lottery and the friends who talk so much sh*t about others that you know they’r...

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36:06

Hot Girl Water Walks

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/02/27

Send us a text This week, we’re diving into Hot Girl Water Walks because who wouldn’t want to spend their days power-walking through the pool, gossiping, and wrapping it all up with a 9 PM bedtime? Cort just got back from living her best retired life in AZ, staying with her Tia in a community that has figured it out…sunrises, golf, cocktails, and concerts where nobody stands up. Who needs rowdy when you have rhythm (while seated, of course)? Meanwhile, Des had to take a side chick to ...

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37:49

Locked Doors and Bruised Egos

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/02/20

Send us a text This week, Des and Cort revel in their Valentine's Day Luxury aka letting their husbands cook while they sat back sipping cocktails like queens. They tackle the age-old debate: do you sleep with your bedroom door open or closed? (Spoiler: One of them is clearly wrong.) Cort shares a high school nightmare where she is lost in the hallways, desperate to find class and not be late. Why are we still having nightmares about high school at 42? Des deals with Zeek, the neighborh...

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39:00

Don"t Yuck Someone Else's Yum

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/02/13

Send us a text You know those people who think their way is the way? Yeah, we’re calling them out. Whether it’s what time you work out, where you work from, or how you live your life—who cares? Still sweating, still making money, still thriving. Let people live. We also get into how people assume we’re the same person, like a two-for-one deal, (besties for the restie) in reality, we’re just that in sync. And honestly? We love it. The people who truly know us understand that we each br...

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39:17

Two C*nts in a Car

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/02/06

Send us a text 🚗 Two C*nts in a Car 🚗 is here, and we’re taking you on a ride through pure chaos. 🎢 We’re covering all the important things in life: 😤 Sounds that enrage us when we’re hormonal (why is breathing so loud?!) 🐈 Des’s unwanted feline squatter (the neighbors swear it’s not theirs) 🛻 Winter finally arriving—except it’s just mud everywhere 📸 Why every photo shoot makes us look like we just got engaged Then, we debate Buy Nothing 2025—we cou...

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41:59

Shootin' Blanks

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/01/30

Send us a textThis episode starts with a literal bang! Our neighbor shot off a blank in his office, and we heard everything. Nothing like a little unplanned adrenaline rush to kick things off. 😳🔫 Our Hot Flashes this week? - Doing business with friends & family (aka, do we really want to lose this relationship over business) - Hormones making us feel like we have the IQ of a potato because we cannot find our words. 🫠 Then, we break down our getting-ready styles: De...

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41:19

Spittin' Nails

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/01/23

Send us a textThis week, we’re diving headfirst into the chaos of the inauguration—Bush’s funny face included (someone get that man a comedy special). We also had a few Hot Flashes that got us heated: kids vandalizing like wannabe graffiti artists, people ignoring No Parking signs like they’re suggestions, and noise pollution that made us consider throwing our own neighborhood rave just to see how they like it. Then, we vented about the universal truth of event prep: women need a full-o...

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