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PODCAST

Adventures of Des and Cort

adventuresofdesandcort

Welcome to the Adventures of Des & Cort podcast, where lifelong friendship meets unfiltered conversation. Join Des and Cort, two best friends, as they invite you into their world filled with laughter, tears, and everything in between.In each episode, Des and Cort delve deep into the intricacies of their bond, sharing stories of their adventures, triumphs, and challenges. From navigating the complexities of relationships to tackling career aspirations and personal growth, nothing is

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All Episodes

44:22

Caught In The Deepfake

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/10/30

Send us a text This week’s episode is a full buffet of chaos, comedy, and confessionals... served with a side of sass and self-awareness. 🍽️💋 Des is back from Monterey, CA and she’s got stories. From a husband asking his wife if she packed his shorts (sir… if you want ‘em, pack ‘em 🩳🙄) to a snoring stranger who might’ve qualified for a full-blown sleep study — this trip had it all. ✈️😴 And don’t even get her started on paper straws and paper coffee cup lids. She’s now officially the woman

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56:04

Shrink The Clothes, Not The Vibe

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/10/23

Send us a text This week’s episode is packed tighter than Des’s carry-on! We get spicy about public correction culture. Why are people out here hitting reply all or correcting someone in front of a crowd like it’s a sport? Babe, pull someone aside or send a text. You’re not scoring points for humiliation. 🫠🙃 Des is prepping for her trip and is on a mission to pack her entire wardrobe into one carry-on. She’s armed with a vacuum sealer, optimism, and maybe a little delusion. 🧳💨 Cort’s just

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48:07

Tina #487

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/10/16

Send us a text 🎧 Tina #487 is here and honestly… she’s unhinged, iconic, and living rent-free in our heads. This week’s episode is serving chaotic comfort and couch confessions because we can’t stick to one topic and honestly, that’s our charm. 😂 Des kicks things off with her passionate ESPN rant. It’s loud, it’s repetitive, and apparently it’s hereditary because her daughter feels the exact same way. 🫣📺 Fantasy Football made a surprise appearance and Cort casually revealed she’s played

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38:55

Room For Wiggle

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/10/09

Send us a text Getting older? We’re here for it. We’re not fighting the years, we’re celebrating them. Because honestly… isn’t getting older the goal? 👑 This week we talk about the viral gummies that have taken over Des’s algorithm and officially de-influenced her 🙅‍♀️🍬. Cort spills the tea from her dreamy anniversary trip to McCall (golf, massages, wine, yes please) but also a hot flash of rage thanks to one steakhouse diva who needed everyone to know he got the wrong steak. Sir… it’s not

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27:12

You Know That Thing Ain't Sitting Still

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/10/02

Send us a text Back from Dallas and we’ve got STORIES. From airport chaos to near-stranger-danger moments, this trip was anything but boring. Des had a seatmate who was sweet enough to offer us a ride to the hotel…but listen sir, we are not starring in your true crime documentary today. 🚩😂 Meanwhile, Cortnie once again proved her iron bladder skills — years of flying and this woman has never used an airplane bathroom. Not once. ✨🙅‍♀️ Is she a legend or a lunatic? You decide. Cory popped in

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32:12

Nothing To Wear, Plenty To Bitch About

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/09/24

Send us a text 👖✈️ How is it possible to shop for 11 hours straight and still end up screaming “I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!” at your closet?? That’s talent, babes. While Cort is already mentally in Dallas, Des tried to start packing early… but somehow ended up deep-cleaning her closet, organizing jewelry, and side-eyeing her ADHD instead. The suitcase? Still empty. The chaos? Still undefeated. 🤦‍♀️✨ Meanwhile, Cort’s out there living her “one of the dudes” era again on the golf course

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38:37

That’s Little Ponytail Behavior

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/09/18

Send us a text This week’s chaos is brought to you by slicked-back ponies, too many shopping bags, and way too much trust in Type A Cort. 💁🏼‍♀️💁🏻‍♀️ We kicked things off with Cort running a full-blown hair experiment on Des (spoiler: she passed the BFF test with flying colors), and Des has officially coined our new favorite phrase: “That’s little ponytail behavior.” It’s iconic, it’s petty, and it’s our new personality trait. 🤌😂 Cort also revealed her latest TikTok hyper-fixation — a party

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61:32

Adrianna Unhinged: Chaos Runs In The Family

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/09/11

Send us a text This week, Cort passes the mic to her daughter Adrianna who’s smack in the middle of a quarter-life crisis and not afraid to roast her mom. 👩‍👧 From ditching cosmetology ✂️ to making a big pivot into nursing 💉, Adrianna proves life detours can be hilarious, messy, and absolutely worth it. But the real fun? She’s spilling childhood stories 👧, talking lying to Des when she babysat 👶, and roasting Cort for flooding her inbox with ‘warning/be careful” TikToks like it’s her

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40:24

Kegels, Convicts & Cash

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/09/04

Send us a text Welcome to Kegels, Convicts & Cash, the episode where Des and Cort prove that literally nothing is off-limits. We start with prison pen pals (because our algorithms think we need one) then slide right into the world of Kegel games with their very own app (yes, there’s an app for that 💪🍑). Somewhere between clenching and cringing, we bury our heads in the sand about life’s simplest tasks, only to pop back up dreaming about what we’d do if we hit the lottery. Spoiler: it’s

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49:56

You'll Gain It All Back!

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/08/28

Send us a text We’ve all heard it before 🙄 the side comments, the judgment, the “you’re just taking the easy way out.” This week, we’re setting the record straight. 💥 ✨ Hot Flashes of the Week: – People who text demanding things with zero greeting… rude. 😒📱 – Our smartwatches owning our souls. If it doesn’t get tracked, did it even happen? 🕒🏃‍♀️⌚ 💉 Then we dive into something real: our year on Tirzepatide. No shame. No stigma. Just the truth about how good we feel, how much life has changed,

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40:53

You're The Rudest Bitch I Know

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/08/20

Send us a text ⛳️ From serious golf tourneys to serious meltdowns about spouses and rule-sticklers, we’re spilling it all this week. Turns out trying new things is terrifying… until it’s not and then it’s the best time ever. 💃✨ 📱 We also call ourselves out (ruthlessly) for doom-scrolling like it’s a full-time job and make a pact to put the damn phones down. Balance, babes. 💤 Des even had a dream so real it almost broke up our friendship…but don’t worry, we’re still here, ranting,

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41:44

Grand Theft Auto?

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/08/14

Send us a text This week, we accidentally audition for a true crime podcast. It starts with Des trying to sell her car and ends with a total stranger taking it solo for a “test drive” which apparently included picking up her kid from daycare, running errands, and leaving us stranded for an hour. In between plotting how to file a police report without sounding like idiots, we cover: 💩 shitty customer service 😳 why we get instantly awkward when anyone is nice to us 🌞 unsolicited melasma t...

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41:04

Snooze Fest

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/08/07

Send us a text Don’t let the title fool you, this episode is anything but a bore. Unless you’re our IT department, in which case… please call us back. Again. For the third time. 😤💻 This week, we’re serving up proud mom vibes and chaotic ramblings, per usual: 👩‍👧‍👦 Our kids are out here thriving and making us emotional! One started her dream job at a salon right next to our office (so we’ll be stalking her daily), another is flying the nest and moving out on her own (random drop by, here we

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30:30

Harmonious Harlots

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/07/31

Send us a text We may not be honor students, but we are women of wisdom, wine, and wildly off-topic rambles. 💃🏼🍷 This week, your favorite harlots got a little harmonious about the things we didn’t care enough about in school and the adult-ed classes we deserve now. Think: zero tests, zero grades, and absolutely no homework. Just learning, laughing, and sipping a cab sav while discussing the French Revolution and how to set boundaries. Here’s what’s inside the episode: 🧠 Sip & Learn:

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39:39

I’m Not A Bad Friend, I’m a Dad Friend

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/07/24

Send us a text We’re not bad friends, we’re efficient friends. The show-up-when-it-matters, no-fluff, no daily check-ins or long mushy texts, but we’ll absolutely show up when it counts. Need a ride? We’re there. Need a hype woman? Done. Need to emotionally unpack? Don’t do it too often. This week’s lineup of hot chaos includes: 🚗 Cort’s Peaceful Era (Unless She’s Driving): She’s evolved into a calm, grounded woman… unless you’re going under the speed limit. Then it’s full “GET OUT OF THE

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36:17

Sponsored By Uncle Alan

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/07/18

Send us a text When life gives you lemons and a leaky floaty… complain just loud enough and your very own Uncle Alan might show up with a Crown Royal bag full of change and a firm “Go buy the damn thing.” This week’s episode is a chaotic cocktail of: 🔥 Hot Flashes: – Dogs puking like it’s their job – AI-generated texts that sound like a robot wrote them mid-panic attack – People who clearly didn’t proofread before hitting send (we’re judging, kindly) 🧠 Then we spiral into memory loss. Not

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37:58

Chuck It In The F*ckit Bucket

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/07/10

Send us a text This week, we're tossing judgment, shame, and any lingering dignity straight into the f*ckit bucket and honestly, it’s getting full. 😅 👩‍👧‍👦 First up: dad jokes. Des came in hot with classics like “pullin’ chocks” and “pinchin’ a loaf” and we’re 99% sure our kids now plan to emancipate themselves. Mission accomplished. 💩✌️ 💋 Then we dive into the spicy world of couples being extremely authentic online. Like, "here's how we spice up our marriage" authentic. We love love... but

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37:42

Crying But Trying

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/06/25

Send us a text Some people get a glow-up and immediately forget they were ever crusty. 🙃 In this episode, we talk about the high horse Olympics. Those folks who were broke, struggling, or overweight five minutes ago and now act like they invented success. 🐴✨ Cool it, Carol. Just because you’ve got veneers and a gym membership doesn’t mean you get to shame someone still in the trenches. Humility called, and it’s wondering where you went. Des got a letter in the mail. Like… stamped. Addressed

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56:10

If You Don’t Have Anything Nice To Say Don’t Say...

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/06/19

Send us a text This week’s episode is brought to you by hot flashes and hotter takes 🔥 Cort’s still fired up over Idaho’s worst drivers (and giving them a piece of her mind in her car ALONE), and Des is in a full-blown rage spiral over those preachy “I’m better than you” posts. 🚨 We get it, you're holier than thou and so cool (but still weirdly posting trying to be relatable?). We chat about how scrolling first thing in the morning is messing up our mornings, and how Des’s F45 workout had

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48:46

Got The Morbs

Adventures of Des and Cort ·

2025/06/11

Send us a text 🎙 Got The Morbs This week, Des has the morbs (aka a 19th-century case of the blahs), Cort’s high on wedding dress joy, and Zeek the cat has returned from his mysterious sabbatical like he didn’t ghost the entire family. Classic cat behavior. 🐾 We dive into the emotional rollercoaster of wedding dress shopping for Cort’s daughter (yes, we cried), the return of the strawberry moon and how it's apparently the closest to Earth since 2006—so if you’ve been feeling unhinged lately…

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