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PODCAST

On Attachment

Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:14:59

#223: What It Really Takes to Make an...

On Attachment ·

2026/01/13

Anxious–avoidant relationships are often described as doomed — intense, painful, and inherently incompatible. While these dynamics can certainly be challenging, they’re not automatically destined to fail.In this episode, I explore what it actually takes to make an anxious–avoidant relationship work — not through chemistry, hope, or sheer effort, but through three essential, non-negotiable ingredients.I share why these dynamics can become either deeply healing or deeply reinforcing of old wounds, and

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00:08:48

#222: Can a Fearful Avoidant Change After Cheating?...

On Attachment ·

2026/01/08

In this Ask Steph episode, I’m answering a listener question about infidelity and whether a fearful-avoidant partner can genuinely change.Rather than asking whether change is possible in theory, this episode focuses on a more important question: how likely is real change, and what should you actually be paying attention to after betrayal?In this episode, I explore:How someone takes responsibility for cheating, and whether their remorse goes beyond guilt or shame.Why understanding why the cheating

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00:13:48

#221: How to Let Go of Someone You Love (For Anxious...

On Attachment ·

2026/01/06

Letting go of someone you love can feel like the hardest thing you’ll ever do — especially if you have anxious attachment patterns. When your nervous system equates connection with safety, walking away can feel more intolerable than staying in pain.In this episode, I explore why letting go is so difficult, and what actually helps when love, attachment, and fear are all tangled together.I talk about:Why anxious attachment makes holding on feel safer than letting goHow we often confuse feelings with

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00:19:39

#220: 3 Hard Truths About Changing Your Life

On Attachment ·

2025/12/30

As the year comes to a close, this episode offers a grounded reflection on what actually creates change — beyond resolutions or waiting to feel ready.This is an invitation to reflect on agency, integrity, and the quiet choices that shape your life over time.⁠⁠Register for the 28-Day Secure Self Challenge here

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00:19:03

#219: How a Fear of Rejection Keeps Us From What We...

On Attachment ·

2025/12/16

In this episode, we explore why rejection feels so big — not just in dating and relationships, but across friendships, family, work, and creative life. We look at the evolutionary and attachment roots of rejection sensitivity, and how it creates a confirmation bias that makes neutral situations feel personal.I talk about how the fear of rejection leads us to shrink, stay silent, or hold back from opportunities, creating a self-fulfilling cycle of loneliness and limitation. We also talk about what

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00:26:30

#218: Why You're Attracted to Unavailable People

On Attachment ·

2025/12/09

In this episode, we explore the deeper patterns that make emotionally unavailable partners feel so familiar — even when you want something different.Rather than framing this as a personal flaw or something you’re “doing wrong,” this conversation explores the deeper emotional and relational patterns that make certain dynamics feel familiar, magnetic, or even safe on a nervous-system level.I walk through five core reasons this dynamic tends to repeat:Low self-worth: When love feels like something you

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00:17:44

#217: The Missing Piece in Your Healing Journey

On Attachment ·

2025/12/03

In this episode, we explore what it really takes to create meaningful change — especially in those seasons where everything feels hard, familiar patterns keep looping, and no amount of “trying” seems to make a difference. We talk about the inner environment required for real change, and why self-compassion isn’t the opposite of accountability — it’s the foundation of it.You’ll hear about:Why we default to shame when we feel stuckThe myth that self-criticism leads to better behaviourHow shame

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00:37:14

#216: My Story of Healing Anxious Attachment

On Attachment ·

2025/11/25

Today's episode is a special one: I'm sharing my own healing story and how I went from anxious and insecure to confident, grounded in my worth, and in a loving partnership. My hope in sharing is that you can see we aren't all that different, and that you feel encouraged to continue on the courageous path of healing. 🖤 If you'd like to explore my Black Friday sale — the biggest I've ever run — click here.

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01:10:41

#215: Resentment, Real Repair, Conflict Avoidance &...

On Attachment ·

2025/11/20

In today’s episode, I’m joined by my friend James “Fish” Gill for a listener Q&A all about conflict, communication, and staying connected through hard moments.We explore some big questions, including:How to release resentment when a conflict is “resolved” but the emotional residue is still sitting in your bodyWhat real repair actually looks like, and why some apologies land while others don’tWhen a relationship swings from explosive conflict to total conflict avoidance — and how to find a

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00:23:16

#214: Parenting Q&A: Fears About Having Kids, Staying...

On Attachment ·

2025/11/11

In this special episode of On Attachment, I sit down with my partner Joel to answer your questions about our journey into parenthood with our now 18 month old son. We explore the transition to parenting, how our attachment styles have shaped the experience, and what helps us stay aligned as a couple. The conversation also covers our initial feelings about wanting kids, the surprises and challenges along the way, and the practices that keep us connected and supportive of each other. Join the Black

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00:17:27

#213: How to Care Less About Others' Opinions & Trust...

On Attachment ·

2025/11/04

So many of us spend our lives orienting around what other people think of us — seeking approval, avoiding disapproval, and constantly scanning for reassurance that we’re doing, saying, and being the “right” thing.If you lean towards anxious attachment patterns, this makes perfect sense. The foundation of the anxious attachment pattern is an external orientation — learning to attune to others for safety, validation, and a sense of self. When we’ve never had a steady internal anchor, other people

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00:20:03

#212: How & When to Start Dating Again After a Break-up

On Attachment ·

2025/10/28

One of the most common questions after a break-up is: when will I be ready to start dating again? Sadly, there’s no hard and fast rule, no magic timeline, and no moment where you’ll suddenly feel 100% confident and never wobble again. Readiness isn’t about the calendar — it’s about how you’re feeling, the work you’ve done, and the mindset you're bringing with you. In this episode, I’ll share:Signs you may not be ready yet (like still being in the thick of grief, rumination, or longing for your

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17:42

#211: The Hard Truth About Closure After a Break-up

On Attachment ·

2025/10/21

When a relationship ends, it’s natural to crave closure. We want answers, explanations, or one last conversation that will tie everything up neatly and help us move on. But the reality is, closure rarely comes from someone else — it’s something we have to create for ourselves. In this episode, I share some hard but freeing truths about closure: Why the relationships that leave us most desperate for closure are usually the ones least likely to give itHow the idea of a “closure conversation” ca...

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19:09

#210: Can You Heal in a Relationship That Constantly...

On Attachment ·

2025/10/14

So often, we’re drawn to the work of healing our relational wounds because of challenges in our relationship. A partner’s behaviour, or the dynamic between us, shines a light on our pain points and shows us where our work might be. But this can raise a difficult question: if we’re still being triggered or activated within that very relationship, is healing actually possible? In this episode, I explore the nuance of this dilemma. We’ll cover: Why triggers aren’t necessarily a bad thing — and h...

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16:02

#209: 5 Green Flags in Early Dating

On Attachment ·

2025/10/07

When you’re anxiously attached, it’s easy to fixate on red flags and warning signs — scanning for danger in the early stages of dating. But if you’re always looking for what’s wrong, you might miss the important signs that you’re with someone who’s actually safe, caring, and aligned with you. In this episode, we shift the focus to green flags — the encouraging behaviours and feelings that can help you recognise when a connection has potential. You’ll learn why these signs matter, how they can...

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20:50

#208: Anxious Attachment & the Fear of Infidelity

On Attachment ·

2025/09/30

Fear of infidelity can be one of the most overwhelming and destabilising experiences for someone with anxious attachment. Even when there’s no evidence a partner is being unfaithful, the possibility alone can trigger deep anxiety, hypervigilance, and constant worry. In this episode, we explore why anxiously attached people often fear cheating so much, even in the absence of proof. We’ll look at the core wounds and nervous system patterns that fuel this fear, the role of past relationship and ...

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13:03

#207: Why You Feel Secure When You’re Single (But...

On Attachment ·

2025/09/23

If you’ve ever felt calm and confident when you’re single, only to find yourself spiralling into anxiety the moment you start dating, there’s a good reason for it. In this episode, I share why this shift happens — and why it’s completely normal if you have an anxious attachment style. Attachment patterns are relational, which means they tend to lie dormant when we’re on our own. But as soon as we have something (or someone) at stake, we feel more vulnerable. The more we care, the more our pro...

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46:43

#206: How Understanding Your Nervous System Can Make...

On Attachment ·

2025/09/16

Understanding your nervous system is one of the most powerful tools you have for creating secure, connected relationships. But too often we approach it as a one-size-fits-all formula, rather than honouring the unique way our individual nervous systems work. In this episode, I’m joined by parenting expert and author Alyssa Blask Campbell to explore how tuning into your nervous system can make you a better partner and parent. Alyssa shares insights from her work on emotional development in chil...

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22:07

#205: How to Process a Sudden Break-Up (AKA the...

On Attachment ·

2025/09/09

When a relationship ends without warning, it’s common to feel blindsided, confused, and deeply hurt. This is often labelled the “avoidant discard” — but while that term might feel validating in the moment, it can also keep you stuck in a disempowering story. In this episode, we’ll talk about how to process a sudden ending in a way that honours your pain without leaving you tethered to it. We’ll explore: Why shock and lack of closure can intensify heartbreakThe difference between feeling disca...

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20:23

#204: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship...

On Attachment ·

2025/09/02

Ever look back at your dating history and realise you’ve basically been in the same relationship over and over again — just with different people? Maybe you thought you’d learned the lessons, yet somehow the same dynamics keep playing out. In this episode, we’re unpacking why these patterns form, why they feel so hard to break, and how you can start shifting them. We’ll explore how your early experiences shape an unconscious “blueprint” for love, how your nervous system pulls you toward what ...

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243 results

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