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On Attachment

Join relationship coach Stephanie Rigg in On Attachment, where she delves deep into all things attachment theory, love, relationships & intimacy - sharing her wisdom and experience to help you start making real changes in your life & relationships.

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

00:17:27

#213: How to Care Less About Others' Opinions & Trust...

On Attachment ·

2025/11/04

So many of us spend our lives orienting around what other people think of us — seeking approval, avoiding disapproval, and constantly scanning for reassurance that we’re doing, saying, and being the “right” thing.If you lean towards anxious attachment patterns, this makes perfect sense. The foundation of the anxious attachment pattern is an external orientation — learning to attune to others for safety, validation, and a sense of self. When we’ve never had a steady internal anchor, other people

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00:20:03

#212: How & When to Start Dating Again After a Break-up

On Attachment ·

2025/10/28

One of the most common questions after a break-up is: when will I be ready to start dating again? Sadly, there’s no hard and fast rule, no magic timeline, and no moment where you’ll suddenly feel 100% confident and never wobble again. Readiness isn’t about the calendar — it’s about how you’re feeling, the work you’ve done, and the mindset you're bringing with you. In this episode, I’ll share:Signs you may not be ready yet (like still being in the thick of grief, rumination, or longing for your

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17:42

#211: The Hard Truth About Closure After a Break-up

On Attachment ·

2025/10/21

When a relationship ends, it’s natural to crave closure. We want answers, explanations, or one last conversation that will tie everything up neatly and help us move on. But the reality is, closure rarely comes from someone else — it’s something we have to create for ourselves. In this episode, I share some hard but freeing truths about closure: Why the relationships that leave us most desperate for closure are usually the ones least likely to give itHow the idea of a “closure conversation” ca...

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19:09

#210: Can You Heal in a Relationship That Constantly...

On Attachment ·

2025/10/14

So often, we’re drawn to the work of healing our relational wounds because of challenges in our relationship. A partner’s behaviour, or the dynamic between us, shines a light on our pain points and shows us where our work might be. But this can raise a difficult question: if we’re still being triggered or activated within that very relationship, is healing actually possible? In this episode, I explore the nuance of this dilemma. We’ll cover: Why triggers aren’t necessarily a bad thing — and h...

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16:02

#209: 5 Green Flags in Early Dating

On Attachment ·

2025/10/07

When you’re anxiously attached, it’s easy to fixate on red flags and warning signs — scanning for danger in the early stages of dating. But if you’re always looking for what’s wrong, you might miss the important signs that you’re with someone who’s actually safe, caring, and aligned with you. In this episode, we shift the focus to green flags — the encouraging behaviours and feelings that can help you recognise when a connection has potential. You’ll learn why these signs matter, how they can...

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20:50

#208: Anxious Attachment & the Fear of Infidelity

On Attachment ·

2025/09/30

Fear of infidelity can be one of the most overwhelming and destabilising experiences for someone with anxious attachment. Even when there’s no evidence a partner is being unfaithful, the possibility alone can trigger deep anxiety, hypervigilance, and constant worry. In this episode, we explore why anxiously attached people often fear cheating so much, even in the absence of proof. We’ll look at the core wounds and nervous system patterns that fuel this fear, the role of past relationship and ...

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13:03

#207: Why You Feel Secure When You’re Single (But...

On Attachment ·

2025/09/23

If you’ve ever felt calm and confident when you’re single, only to find yourself spiralling into anxiety the moment you start dating, there’s a good reason for it. In this episode, I share why this shift happens — and why it’s completely normal if you have an anxious attachment style. Attachment patterns are relational, which means they tend to lie dormant when we’re on our own. But as soon as we have something (or someone) at stake, we feel more vulnerable. The more we care, the more our pro...

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46:43

#206: How Understanding Your Nervous System Can Make...

On Attachment ·

2025/09/16

Understanding your nervous system is one of the most powerful tools you have for creating secure, connected relationships. But too often we approach it as a one-size-fits-all formula, rather than honouring the unique way our individual nervous systems work. In this episode, I’m joined by parenting expert and author Alyssa Blask Campbell to explore how tuning into your nervous system can make you a better partner and parent. Alyssa shares insights from her work on emotional development in chil...

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22:07

#205: How to Process a Sudden Break-Up (AKA the...

On Attachment ·

2025/09/09

When a relationship ends without warning, it’s common to feel blindsided, confused, and deeply hurt. This is often labelled the “avoidant discard” — but while that term might feel validating in the moment, it can also keep you stuck in a disempowering story. In this episode, we’ll talk about how to process a sudden ending in a way that honours your pain without leaving you tethered to it. We’ll explore: Why shock and lack of closure can intensify heartbreakThe difference between feeling disca...

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20:23

#204: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Relationship...

On Attachment ·

2025/09/02

Ever look back at your dating history and realise you’ve basically been in the same relationship over and over again — just with different people? Maybe you thought you’d learned the lessons, yet somehow the same dynamics keep playing out. In this episode, we’re unpacking why these patterns form, why they feel so hard to break, and how you can start shifting them. We’ll explore how your early experiences shape an unconscious “blueprint” for love, how your nervous system pulls you toward what ...

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17:00

#203: How to Soften Your Inner Critic and Forgive...

On Attachment ·

2025/08/26

If you struggle with a harsh inner critic — whether it shows up as perfectionism, relentless self-judgment, or shame about the past — this episode is for you. We’re unpacking the roots of that punitive inner voice, how it tries to keep us safe, and the real cost it can have on our self-worth, our nervous system, and our ability to grow. We’ll also explore what it looks like to relate to ourselves differently: to meet our inner critic with compassion rather than fear, and to begin the process ...

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21:50

#202: How Attachment Styles Influence Friendship...

On Attachment ·

2025/08/19

We don’t often talk about how attachment dynamics play out in friendships — but if you’ve ever felt anxious, hurt, or overly invested in a friend who seemed to be pulling away, you’ll know just how triggering these relationships can be. While attachment theory was originally developed to explain the infant-caregiver bond and later applied to romantic relationships, many of the same fears, patterns, and protective strategies show up in our platonic relationships too — especially when they carr...

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22:07

#201: How to Actually Heal from a Breakup

On Attachment ·

2025/08/12

If you’re someone with anxious attachment patterns, the ending of a relationship can bring up some of your deepest wounds: feelings of abandonment, not being enough, being too much, or fears that you’ll never find love again. In today’s episode, I’m offering a more grounded, intentional path through heartbreak — one that doesn’t rely on ruminating, obsessing, or waiting for closure from someone else. We’re talking about how to actually heal from a breakup, rather than just surviving it. I’ll ...

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23:03

#200: How to Like Yourself More

On Attachment ·

2025/08/05

So many of us struggle with the idea of self-love. For me, and for many others, it can feel vague, aspirational, or simply out of reach. But what if, instead of trying to love ourselves, we focused on becoming someone we actually like? In today’s episode, I’m sharing five practical and tangible ways to do just that. This is about taking honest, grounded steps that help you build real self-respect, pride, and internal alignment. Whether you’re feeling disconnected from yourself, stuck in self-...

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53:31

#199: How Our Early Imprints Shape Our Lives &...

On Attachment ·

2025/07/30

In this episode, I’m joined by educator, speaker, and author Lael Stone to explore the powerful role that early imprints play in shaping the stories we carry — about ourselves, others, and the world around us. We dive into how our earliest experiences — especially within our family system — inform the narratives we unconsciously live by. We talk about what it means to bring those stories into conscious awareness, and how to begin rewriting the ones that no longer serve us. Whether you’re deep...

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21:59

#198: What Anxiously Attached People Need to Thrive...

On Attachment ·

2025/07/22

When you have an anxious attachment style, it can be hard to know what you actually need to feel secure — especially if past relationships have left you second-guessing yourself or trying to manage your anxiety by suppressing your needs. In this episode, we’re exploring five key ingredients that help anxiously attached people thrive in relationships. These aren’t about seeking constant reassurance or outsourcing your self-worth — they’re about being in relational environments that support sec...

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21:39

#197: What Avoidant People Need to Thrive in a...

On Attachment ·

2025/07/15

In today’s episode, we’re exploring what avoidant attached people actually need to feel safe and secure in a relationship — and how partners can support that without self-abandoning. Avoidant attachment is often misunderstood — labelled as cold, distant, or commitment-phobic. But when we look beneath those surface-level behaviours, what we often find is a deep need for space, safety, and self-reliance. We’ll cover: Why space needs to be respected, not punishedThe importance of having a partne...

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19:08

#196: How & Why We Self-Abandon in Relationships

On Attachment ·

2025/07/08

If you deeply fear abandonment, there’s a good chance you’ve also been abandoning yourself in quiet, subtle, and painful ways. In today’s episode, we’re exploring how fear of abandonment often leads to patterns of self-abandonment — especially for those with anxious attachment. We’ll look at why this happens, how it shows up in your relationships, and what it actually costs you when you disconnect from your truth just to stay connected to someone else. You’ll learn: Why self-abandonment is of...

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11:04

#195: Two Simple Principles for a Healthy Nervous System

On Attachment ·

2025/07/01

In today’s episode, I’m sharing two key principles for building a truly resilient, balanced nervous system — and why one without the other tends to keep us stuck. We’ll explore: Why nervous system health isn’t about being relaxed all the timeThe importance of deliberate stress exposure to build capacity and resilienceThe equally vital need to resource and nourish ourselves through rest, pleasure, and co-regulationHow to work with the natural ebb and flow of activation and recoveryA simple met...

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18:49

#194: When You Don’t Feel Like a Priority in Your...

On Attachment ·

2025/06/24

If you often feel like you're fighting for a place in your partner’s life—like you’re always waiting to be chosen or noticed—this episode is for you. This is one of the most common experiences for people with anxious attachment: that persistent, painful feeling of being sidelined. Of giving so much, while wondering if you even matter to the person you love. And when that becomes a pattern, it can quietly erode your sense of self-worth. In this episode, I’m unpacking: Why anxiously attached pe...

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213 results

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