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PODCAST

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you"re struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We"ve been there. We"ll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you"re married to an addict—we KNOW

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

44:05

"Why Do Intrusive Mental Images Still Hit Me—Even...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/05/18

In this episode (#333), we address a question from a betrayed partner who is about three years into sex addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing with her partner. Although he has been sober, involved in 12-step recovery, working with a sponsor, and the couple has gone through formal therapeutic disclosure, she still experiences intrusive mental images connected to his past acting out. We explain that these images are not evidence that she is failing in her healing. They are trauma responses

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38:16

Half-In, Half-Out Recovery: He Says He’s Changing but...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/05/11

In this PBSE episode (#332), we explore what it means when an addict says he is changing but continues to keep the “addiction door” cracked open. A betrayed partner may see signs that look like recovery—porn blockers, monitoring software, more honesty, fewer obvious acting-out behaviors—but still discover that her partner is seeking sexualized content through social media thirst traps, scanning, fantasy, or other loopholes. We make clear that this is not simply a “lesser version” of the original

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47:38

If He will NOT face His Porn Addiction—You as a...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/05/04

In this episode (#331), we respond to a betrayed partner who discovered her husband’s ongoing porn use while she was pregnant and has since caught him multiple times in the same painful cycle: he apologizes, promises to stop, briefly improves, becomes defensive, grows distant, and eventually lies again. The most recent betrayal was especially devastating because he told her he no longer watched porn only hours before she discovered the truth. Now postpartum, exhausted, and emotionally wounded, she

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42:40

No D-Day, No Disclosure—But I KNOW I’ve Been...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/04/28

In Episode 330, Mark & Steve address a uniquely painful and confusing experience for many betrayed partners: living with a deep sense of betrayal and trauma without ever receiving a full disclosure or definitive proof of wrongdoing. We explain that the absence of a “D-Day” does not mean the absence of harm, and that many partners endure years of emotional instability, manipulation, and invalidation that create real trauma regardless of whether specific behaviors are confirmed. By expanding the

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46:19

We Want a Family, But He Just Disclosed His Porn...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/04/21

In this episode (329), Mark and Steve address a submission from a betrayed wife whose husband has recently disclosed a porn addiction just as they were preparing to start a family. They acknowledge the immense emotional tension she is carrying: she deeply loves her husband, wants to support him, and has always dreamed of becoming a mother, yet now feels shattered by betrayal, comparison, insecurity, and fear about what pregnancy and parenthood would mean in the middle of such instability. They honor

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46:32

He Says He Chooses Me... So Why Is He Still Thinking...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/04/14

In this episode (328), we address a powerful and heartbreaking question from a betrayed partner: how can her partner claim to love and choose her while continuing to have sexual thoughts about other women? We acknowledge the profound trauma this creates, especially given the timing during pregnancy and postpartum—a period of heightened vulnerability. The repeated disclosures of these thoughts have created a cycle of ongoing emotional injury, leaving her feeling humiliated, replaceable, and unsafe

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42:51

He Turned Me Into Porn . . . Now I Don't Want Sex at...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/04/06

This episode (327) centers on a betrayed partner who, after uncovering her husband’s secret pornography use, finds herself increasingly sexually averse despite his apparent efforts toward recovery. Her experience is compounded by a history of childhood sexual trauma and objectification, making the betrayal not just painful, but deeply retraumatizing. When her husband admitted to mentally replacing her with pornographic images and even attempting to shape her into those fantasies, it reinforced a

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40:08

The NECESSITY of Community in Recovery & Healing for...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/03/31

In Episode 326, we highlight the critical truth that both addiction and betrayal trauma are fueled by isolation and secrecy, making community an essential part of the healing process. Addicts often withdraw due to shame and fear of judgment, while betrayed partners frequently feel alone, confused, and unable to share their reality with others. This shared isolation deepens pain on both sides and reinforces destructive cycles. However, when individuals step into a supportive recovery community, they

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43:02

Why Does My Heart Keep Moving Further Away . . . ...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/03/24

Episode 325 centers on a betrayed partner who feels increasingly disconnected from her husband, even though he has recently begun making genuine recovery efforts. After ten years of repeated cycles of acting out, partial truth, gaslighting, and temporary repair, her nervous system has adapted to expect instability and harm. When full disclosure revealed that she had only known a fraction of the truth, it shattered her sense of reality and safety. As a result, her emotional distancing is not

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43:56

Can I or We ever Heal from his Trickled Truths,...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/03/16

Many betrayed partners face the heartbreaking experience of trickle truth—when pieces of the truth about sexual betrayal emerge slowly over time instead of all at once. In this episode (324), we respond to a partner who experienced an initial discovery day involving pornography and prostitution, supported her husband’s recovery efforts, and went through formal disclosure, only to later discover evidence that he had lied during that process. The result was another devastating discovery day that left

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55:26

Can Someone Who Lived a Secret Sexual Life for 40...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/03/11

In this episode (323), we address a heartbreaking submission from a betrayed partner who discovered that her husband of over forty years had been living a secret sexual life throughout their entire marriage. After decades of pornography use, strip clubs, and paid sexual encounters—hidden behind a carefully managed public image—she now finds herself asking the question many partners face after long-term betrayal: Can someone who has lived a double life for decades ever truly change? We begin by

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45:19

Relationship Healing Lives or Dies on "Consistent...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/03/04

(PBSE Episode 322) In relationships impacted by pornography or sex addiction, the greatest damage often comes not only from the betrayal itself but from the pattern of secrecy and withheld truth that surrounds it. Many betrayed partners find themselves repeatedly uncovering the truth through investigation rather than receiving honesty freely from their partner. Even when couples pursue formal disclosure and verification processes, it is often impossible to know the past with absolute certainty

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42:48

Guardrails or Walls? Moving from Sexual Aversion to...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/02/25

Episode 321 addresses a vulnerable question from a man in recovery who fears he may have “overcorrected”—moving from sexual addiction to sexual numbness. After establishing over a year of sobriety, he wonders if suppressing his sexuality has led to aversion rather than health. We explain that this phase is not uncommon. Sobriety is essential, but it is only the beginning. When years of compulsive behavior have rewired the dopamine system, removing intense stimulation can initially feel flat. The

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46:01

He has the Right to Completely Screw Up His Life!

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/02/17

In episode 320, we address a betrayed partner’s heartbreaking story of separation turning into divorce as her husband’s addiction spirals further out of control. What was supposed to be a wake-up call instead became deeper indulgence, leaving her feeling disrespected, confused, and searching for closure. We explore how addicts can reach a point where fantasy feels “authentic,” and how emotional immaturity, avoidance of discomfort, arrested development, and untreated mental health issues often drive

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37:35

When Betrayal is Confessed, What are Healthy...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/02/09

When betrayal is confessed, both partners are immediately forced into territory they never chose. In this episode (#319), we address a powerful submission from a man whose pornography use and delayed disclosure led to the end of a serious relationship. We unpack why betrayal permanently changes a relationship’s landscape and why healthy boundaries for the betrayed partner begin with space, agency, and the right to decide what future—if any—feels authentic. Boundaries are not punishments; they are

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44:05

Can "Just Looking" Destroy a Marriage: Understanding...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/02/04

In this episode (#318), we respond to a deeply painful and thought-provoking submission from a partner married for fifteen years who discovered her husband’s long-standing pattern of visual sexual behaviors. While he insists he rarely masturbated, his compulsive scanning, voyeurism, and objectification left her questioning whether “just looking” could really constitute addiction—and why it felt so devastating. We outline how repeated denial, trickle-truth, and gaslighting created not only sexual

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36:32

From Shock to Self–Trust: Reclaiming Your Inner Truth...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/01/27

In this episode (#317), we address one of the most destabilizing experiences betrayed partners face: the collapse of reality after discovering a partner’s hidden addiction. When betrayal comes from someone who appeared kind, loving, and emotionally present, the trauma can feel especially disorienting. Partners often question their intelligence, intuition, and judgment—but we make it clear that intuition cannot detect information that was deliberately concealed. Betrayal is not a failure of

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47:09

What Does "Proactive Honesty" in Your Daily Life &...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/01/20

In this episode (#316) we focus on the critical role of proactive honesty in healing relationships impacted by addiction, betrayal, and trauma. Proactive honesty goes far beyond “not lying”—it means leading with truth rather than waiting to be confronted, asked the right question, or forced into disclosure. When honesty becomes reactive instead of proactive, trust erodes, emotional safety collapses, and partners lose the ability to make informed choices. We emphasize that honesty struggles are not

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44:05

No Bullsh*t—What’s ACTUALLY Blocking An Addict’s TRUE...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/01/13

This episode (#315) challenges the common illusion that visible recovery behaviors—meetings, therapy, sobriety streaks—automatically equal real change. Using a devastating listener submission as the catalyst, we explain why relapse after “recovery” often hurts partners more deeply than early betrayal: by that point, the addict knows the harm and still chooses it. We distinguish reactive recovery (driven by panic, fear, and consequences) from real recovery (driven by identity change, courage, and

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40:40

How to Attain REAL and LASTING Change in 2026!

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2026/01/06

As a new year begins, many addicts and betrayed partners feel both hope and heartbreak—hope that things can change, and heartbreak from remembering all the years they didn’t. In this episode, we explain why traditional New Year’s resolutions often fail: they are usually made from reactionary emotional states, lack realistic structure, and collapse when real life returns. Instead of empowering change, these resolutions frequently deepen shame, reinforce hopeless identity narratives, and push people

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136 results

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