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PODCAST

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE

Steve Moore & Mark Kastleman

Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you"re struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We"ve been there. We"ll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you"re married to an addict—we KNOW

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

36:02

The Impact of a Sexually Abusive Childhood on a...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/08/15

In Episode 293, Mark ands Steve address how childhood sexual abuse is a form of complex trauma that imprints deeply on a survivor’s understanding of love, trust, and sexuality. It often distorts sexual norms, blurs boundaries between consent and compliance, and creates lasting confusion around intimacy. Survivors may develop insecure attachment styles—avoidant, anxious, or disorganized—and struggle with either extreme sexual avoidance or sexualized attempts to gain connection and worth. These

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37:55

I Keep Finding Myself Hurt In Relationships with...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/08/05

This episode (#292) explores the repeated heartbreak many betrayed partners experience when they unknowingly enter relationships with porn or sex addicts, offering both empathy and practical strategies for breaking the cycle. It begins by affirming that betrayal is never the betrayed partner’s fault, highlighting how addicts often hide their behaviors through manipulation, secrecy, and even self-denial. The emotional devastation of discovering such betrayal—especially after believing a partner

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40:26

Advice for Young Adults Balancing Mental Health,...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/07/29

In response to a powerful message from an 18-year-old listener, Mark and Steve devote this episode to young adults balancing school, mental health, and porn addiction. They applaud the listener’s maturity and self-awareness and use his story as a springboard to discuss the foundational concepts of being “accountable” and “responsible.” They emphasize that healing begins with personal ownership and the ability to respond intentionally to life’s challenges, even in the face of ADHD, depression, or

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42:22

Can I Have a Healthy Relationship with my Addict...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/07/21

Episode 290 of the PBSE Podcast explores a powerful question submitted by a betrayed partner whose addict husband is in active recovery but refuses to discuss his past. The discussion centers on what real intimacy requires—emotional nakedness, vulnerability, and the willingness to be known. While many addicts hold back due to fear, shame, or cultural conditioning, we unpack how these barriers undermine authentic connection in relationships. Intimacy is described as a process of “emotional

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37:29

My Betrayed Partner regularly Screams & Lashes Out ....

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/07/14

This episode tackles the heartfelt question of a recovering porn addict whose wife frequently screams, lashes out, and accuses him of lying—despite his efforts at sobriety and support. We emphasize that these outbursts often stem from deep, layered trauma, especially when relapse reopens old wounds. Recovery is not just about avoiding porn; it's about understanding and owning the devastating emotional impact the betrayal has had, and proactively working to create safety and restore trust.We

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38:13

My Porn/Sex Addicted Partner tells me I just need to...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/07/07

In this powerful episode, we address the heart-wrenching story of a betrayed partner whose marriage has been scarred by nearly two decades of emotional abuse, chronic dishonesty, and sexual betrayal. Despite having initiated divorce proceedings, she finds herself still seeking clarity and wondering if hope remains. Her husband, who continues to act out sexually while refusing meaningful recovery, tells her that she’s overreacting and simply needs to “get over it.” We unpack the damaging impact of

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33:26

My Addict Partner Keeps going Through Cycles of...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/07/01

PBSE Podcast Episode 287 explores the recurring emotional turmoil experienced by a betrayed partner whose addict spouse continues to cycle through emotional relapses, despite seemingly engaging in recovery activities. Every six months, he emotionally regresses—questioning their relationship, doubting compatibility, and withdrawing connection—which destabilizes her sense of safety and triggers deep trauma. In her desperation for reassurance, she finds herself compulsively seeking emotional details,

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40:08

I'm Staying Away from Porn, But I Want to FEEL...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/06/20

PBSE Podcast Episode 286, follows the journey of a man in early recovery who is not content with simply staying away from pornography—he wants to feel a deep emotional aversion to it. The article explores this desire for integrity and congruence, addressing how many men feel torn between what they know is harmful and what they are still wired to find stimulating. It offers a compassionate view that acknowledges sexuality as a core part of being human, emphasizing that true recovery doesn't

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38:44

Performance Anxiety” is Creating a WALL Between Me &...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/06/16

In relationships impacted by sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, performance anxiety often becomes more than a physical issue—it’s a symptom of deeper emotional disconnection, trauma, and mistrust. Drawing from a heartfelt message submitted to the PBSE Podcast, Episode 285 delves into how men in recovery may find themselves crippled by shame when they’re unable to sexually perform, especially when performance was once their only perceived value in the relationship. For betrayed partners, these

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39:33

My Addict Partner is Now Identifying as “Polyamorous”...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/06/09

In Episode 284 of the PBSE podcast, we dive into the harrowing story of a woman navigating her husband’s sudden shift from sex addiction recovery to identifying as polyamorous. After years of pain, betrayal, and dedicated recovery work, she’s now facing a radical alteration in the foundation of their relationship. Her husband demands acceptance of his new identity, while she grapples with whether this is a genuine expression of self or a veiled escape from the demands of sobriety and

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35:34

What if my Addict Partner and I Disagree About...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/06/02

This PBSE episode (#283) delves into the delicate issue of couples disagreeing about boundaries during addiction recovery. It begins by emphasizing that boundaries exist to protect authenticity and safety rather than to control others, underscoring the need for each partner to clarify and communicate their genuine wants and needs. The addict's resistance often stems from deeper issues like shame, pride, and a desire for autonomy, which can lead to avoidance and reactive recovery rather than p...

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38:57

How Long Should My Former Addict Partner Maintain...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/05/27

PBSE Podcast Episode 282 tackles the emotionally complex question many betrayed partners face: “How long should my former addict partner maintain sobriety and recovery before I consider getting back with him?” Rather than offering a simple timeline, it reframes the question to focus on the quality and consistency of change in both partners. The article underscores that while time matters, what matters more is whether the former addict has shown verifiable growth—emotionally, behaviorally, and

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41:17

As a Betrayed Partner, How Do I Stop Waiting Around...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/05/20

PBSE Podcast Episode 281, tackles the painful and familiar experience of betrayed partners who live in a constant state of anxiety, waiting for the next betrayal to surface. Centering around a listener’s heartfelt submission, the article outlines the emotional toll of repeated trauma, especially in relationships where staggered disclosures have prolonged the hurt. Despite doing some recovery work, the listener still struggles with fear, mistrust, and a lack of emotional safety, highlighting the core

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33:11

As a Betrayed Partner, How do I Talk to my Teenage...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/05/13

In PBSE Episode 280, Mark & Steve address the complex challenge faced by betrayed partners—especially those healing from porn or sex addiction in their relationships—who want to guide their teenage children toward healthy sexuality. It begins by acknowledging the emotional burden and conflict many betrayed partners feel, especially when trying to teach their children something they themselves are still struggling to reclaim. Drawing from a listener’s heartfelt question, the hosts emphasize that

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41:22

Do you REALLY want Intimate CONNECTION or Not?

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/05/06

PBSE Podcast 279 confronts the painful contradiction many addicts face: a deep longing for intimate connection paired with a habitual avoidance of it. Through a heartfelt partner’s submission and personal reflections, Mark and Steve illustrate how addiction, as an intimacy disorder, fuels this cycle of wanting but not acting—of making promises without follow-through. The core issue often isn’t a lack of sincerity, but a profound disconnection from self, rooted in fear, shame, and survival-based

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35:44

How Do I Navigate the Dating World After My Marriage...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/04/28

In this PBSE episode (#278), Mark & Steve delve deeply into a critical topic for betrayed partners—After enduring the deep wounds of a marriage ending due to porn addiction, stepping back into the dating world requires tremendous courage, self-awareness, and intentional preparation. We encourage betrayed partners to first focus inward, engaging in compassionate self-analysis to better understand past relational dynamics. Exploring areas like intuition, self-trust, self-esteem, and emotional

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44:29

My Habit of “Pornifying” Everything has Ruined...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/04/22

PBSE Episode 277 addresses a deeply personal and often overlooked consequence of pornography addiction: the loss of enjoyment in media that was once shared and meaningful within a relationship. The authors respond to a listener's question about whether he and his partner can ever again enjoy media that has been “pornified” through his addiction. They explain how sexual addiction often extends beyond explicit content to include distorted sexualization of characters and media, leading to feelings

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38:52

Do I have to wait for the “Formal Amends” process...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/04/15

Episode 276 addresses a question often asked by partners of addicts in recovery: “Do I have to wait for the formal amends process before I see real change?” The authors explain that real transformation in recovery should not be postponed until Steps 8 and 9 of the 12-step model. They draw a clear distinction between a simple apology and the deeper process of making amends, emphasizing that true recovery begins with personal accountability, transparency, and a willingness to face difficult truths—not

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39:31

How Can He “Look Past” My Body & Be Aroused by Real...

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/04/08

This PBSE episode (275), inspired by a listener’s vulnerable question, dives deep into the emotional complexity of intimacy in long-term relationships—particularly when one partner has struggled with pornography addiction. The woman asks how her husband can look “past” her aging body and be genuinely aroused by real love. Her question reveals the pain of feeling invisible or undesired and touches on the widespread cultural belief that sexual attraction is rigid and solely tied to youth or physical

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37:22

Sex Isn't Mutually Pleasurable in our Relationship....

Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE ·

2025/04/01

This PBSE Podcast Episode 274, centers on a partner’s heartfelt account of feeling objectified and emotionally disconnected during sex with her spouse, who is in recovery from porn addiction. Though he has given up porn and masturbation, their intimacy remains one-sided, leaving her feeling like a replacement for his addiction rather than a true partner in connection. Mark and Steve explore how sobriety alone isn’t enough—emotional growth, mindfulness, and a complete rewiring of sexual expectations

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96 results

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