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PODCAST

The Roast and Toast Podcast

Do you like watching bad movies? Do you like films with terrible tropes, awful scripts, and poor acting? So do we...more or less! Join in with hosts Jordan Geisler, John Shupe and Rhiane Steinhauer to roast and toast bad movies! Together they"ll pick out the lows (roasts) and highs (toasts) of awful films both current and old.

tv & film

All Episodes

01:06:06

S3E5: The Roast & Toast of "Taxi"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2022/04/12

We all love buddy comedies, especially when they involve incredibly altered taxis and a cop who gets guns confiscated only to continuously find another one. We watched the Queen Latifah and Jimmy Fallon comedy "Taxi," and we have a lot to say. Jordan, John, and Rhiane discusses the many issues of the movie, such as bad bicycle riding, Ann Margaret's amazing performance as an alcoholic, sloppy kissing, living in a garage, Jimmy Fallon being unable to drive and function as a cop, the terrible acting

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01:13:57

S3E4: The Roast & Toast of "The Lawnmower Man"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2022/03/29

John wanted a sci-fi flick, so we got him a sci-fi flick! We watched the Pierce Brosnan movie "The Lawnmower Man," and we sure do have a lot to say. Jordan, John, and Rhiane dissect the many issues, like Pierce Brosnan gradual shirtless-ness, Job's terrible haircut, whoopee in virtual reality, lab monkey POV, child abuse, a comic book collection made up of five comic books, religious symbolism, and more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides.Please leave a rating and review on

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01:02:57

S3E3: The Roast & Toast of "White Chicks"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2022/03/15

Everybody loves a cult classic, but we don't--well, actually, Rhiane does, but Jordan and John don't. We watched the iconic movie "White Chicks" starring two of the famous Wayans brothers, but we don't know who they are at any point of the movie. The gang sits down and gets into Busy Phillips' amazing performance and hilarious one-liners, Rhiane's connection to this movie and how we almost got a celeb on the show, whether or not the use of white face was problematic or not for the time the movie

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01:22:18

S3E2: The Roast & Toast of "Left Behind"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2022/03/01

It's about time we revisited Nicolas Cage, so we watched the religious disaster film "Left Behind"! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the many, many, many problems with this movie adaptation of the hit book series of the same name. Together they discuss Jordin Sparks having only three scenes, how this film would've been elevated with Ashley Tisdale, so much running, Leah Thompson's "rocky marriage" that's due to her religious beliefs, dancing at the mall, crazy guesses as to why people disappeared

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00:57:20

S3E1: The Roast & Toast of "The Love Letter"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2022/02/15

Welcome to season three! To kick off the new season, we welcome back our favorite failed actress: Ellen! She stars in yet another unsuccessful movie, this one being a 1999 romantic comedy (?). Together, Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the movie's many flaws, including Thomas Everett Scott's love attraction, Kate Capshaw's terrible hat choice and inability to run, a completely unnoticed Jack Black cameo, random scene jumps, poor apologies, and so much more. Later, they do a segment of All

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01:21:24

S2E22: The Roast & Toast of "A Madea Christmas"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/12/14

Merry Christmas, everyone! What better way is there to celebrate the most magical time of year than to watch Tyler Perry's 2013 holiday film centered around his iconic creation, Madea? Jordan, John, and Rhiane sit down to discuss this troubling holiday film, like how in the world Chad Michael Murray ended up in this movie, Larry the Cable Guy's Prilosec OTC sponsorship, the character Eileen's racism, Alicia Witt's wardrobe, the unmentioned but obvious abuse of Tika Sumpter's student, how a school

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01:02:04

S2E21: The Roast & Toast of "Jason X"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/11/30

Behold! The first ever fan-recommended movie! We watched the tenth feature in the murderous Jason Voorhees film franchise, and like all other tired franchises, it all goes down in space! Jordan, John, and Rhiane discuss the many features of this 2002 horror film, including the many deaths via stomach wounds, the death by head in liquid nitrogen, hockey being outlawed in 2024, how many early 2000s horror movies were awful and low budget, so many horny teenagers, crazy nipple fetishes, two characters

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00:52:29

S2E20: The Roast & Toast of "Hide and Seek"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/11/16

Robert De Niro, come out, come out, wherever you are! We watched the 2005 horror movie "Hide and Seek" starring Robert De Niro (with his second time on the podcast) and Dakota Fanning, and we have a lot of thoughts. John defends his appreciation for the film while Jordan and Rhiane voice their distaste for it. However, even John can acknowledge the fact that there are many flaws, like the fact Robert's split personality disorder is never explained, why two people need a giant house, Dakota needing

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01:12:32

S2E19: The Roast & Toast of "Tyler Perry's...

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/11/02

We've missed our Razzie winners, so we decided to go to a Razzie staple: Tyler Perry! Jordan, John, and Rhiane watch Tyler Perry's highest-grossing drama that doesn't feature him as one of the actors, and boy do they have a lot to say. Together, the gang talks about Judith's crummy therapist office, Vanessa Williams' terrible French accent and lack of French vocab, Kim Kardashian only having one tone and constantly insulting people, the lack of a business model for the match-making company, how the

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01:03:19

S2E18: The Roast & Toast of "The Astronaut's Wife"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/10/19

We all love a movie about space, especially when they make no sense! So of course Jordan, John, and Rhiane have a lot of say about the 1999 sci-fi flick "The Astronaut's Wife." They discuss whether or not Charlize Theron's character is raped by her husband or not, Charlize dancing while eating whip-cream in the kitchen, Johnny Depp maintaining his country accent for the ENTIRE movie, a lack of explanation as to what the heck the radio waves are, Charlize's character looking high in her death

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01:13:41

S2E17: The Roast & Toast of "Don't Tell Mom The...

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/10/05

We all love a movie featuring a dysfunctional family, but we don't like one where the kids hide the death of a babysitter while their mom is in Australia and one of the kids works while the others do drugs, steal, and don't contribute or do anything with their lives. And unfortunately, that's all there is for this 1991 cult classic. Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about the movie that doesn't deliver on its title, and they discuss its numerous problems, such as Sue Ellen getting a job in a snap, the

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01:00:46

S2E16: The Roast & Toast of "Krippendorf's Tribe"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/09/21

If you're looking to dig up and discover a great new movie, this isn't the one. Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about all the ways the 1998 comedy "Krippendorf's Tribe" fell flat, such as the use of blackface, the lack of explanations for literally everything, Jenna Elfman's character being used for a sex tape without her knowing, not having a hero to cheer for, the excessive almost-nudity of the children, and so much more. Later, they do a segment of Fact or Fiction and All Sides.Please leave a

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01:07:20

S2E15: The Roast & Toast of "Dead Heat"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/09/07

Who doesn't love a buddy-cop adventure? And who doesn't like zombies? Well, the 1988 film "Dead Heat" has it all! Jordan, John, and Rhiane sit down to talk about what they perceive to be a great bad movie. They discuss major issues such as having an ending where everyone dies, random running in the library, knowing the exact time of someone's death, referring to Mulberry lipstick in order to break someone out of a brain-dead trance, incessant shooting at zombies who are knowingly resistant to

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00:59:16

S2 E14: The Roast & Toast of "Wing Commander"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/08/24

It's time to launch into the next frontier: space! But Jordan, John, and Rhiane aren't ready for it after watching the awful film 1999 film "Wing Commander." Together they discuss how none of them really understand the point of the movie, the pointless plot of pilgrims, Freddie Prinze Jr.'s chunky plastic necklace, a Sarah Michelle Gellar poster, the cat-like Kilrathi that only sometimes have subtitles, the character Angel's inability to have compassion, and a lot more. Later they do a segment of

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01:20:41

S2E13: The Roast & Toast of "The Stepfather"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/08/10

Blended families are difficult sometimes, as is evident in the 2009 film "The Stepfather" starring Penn Badgeley. Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about the almost thrilling thriller and its drawbacks, such as having far too many pool scenes, Amber Heard only wearing a bikini or pajamas in her scenes, the indestructibility of flip phones, illegal business dealings at Jackie's real estate company, the stepdad being a real estate agent for two days and then quitting, the unexplained mystery as to why

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01:22:09

S2E12: The Roast & Toast of "Birdemic: The Resurrection"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/07/27

Jordan, John, and Rhiane did what they thought could never be done--they watched another James Nguyen film! More specifically, they watched the sequel to the infamous production "Birdemic: Shock and Terror" called "Birdemic: The Resurrection." Together, the gang wholeheartedly agrees that Birdemic 2, unlike it's predecessor, is actually a movie! They discuss the MANY flaws with the film (both carried over from the original production, and completely original issues) such as awful audio quality, the

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01:01:41

S2E11: The Roast & Toast of "I Hate Kids"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/07/13

Who doesn't want a film centered around family? It's too bad you won't find that with the 2018 flick "I Hate Kids." Jordan, John, and Rhiane pick apart the movie and its various issues such as the awful actor portraying Mason, Sydney's undying loyalty to her fiancé, Nick's sluttiness, the obsession for red drinks as props, the mannequin lady, clown college, and a heck of a lot more. Later, they do a double-sized segment of All Sides.Please leave a rating and review on iTunes so other people know

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00:58:28

S2E10: The Roast & Toast of "When a Stranger Calls"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/06/29

Time for a scary movie! But don't worry, it's far from being terrifying--it's basically PG. Jordan, John, and Rhiane dig into the 2006 thriller that has zero thrills. They discuss issues such as Camilla Belle's inability to act, Clark Gregg's literal 30 seconds in the movie, a very long scarf that needs to be burned, a lack of motivation for anything, having an anonymous killer who isn't relevant to anything, a wasted five minute intro to the movie, heavy breathing, and a lot more. Later they do a

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01:10:10

S2E9: The Roast & Toast of "The Wedding Planner"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/06/15

Love is in the air on, but maybe not for Jennifer Lopez! Upon Rhiane's (or was it John's? We don't remember) request, we watched the 2001 J-Lo and Matthew McConaughey rom-com, and we sure do have some thoughts about it. Jordan, John, and Rhiane talk about the unfortunate story arc of the character Mossimo, J-Lo accepting a proposal with Scrabble tiles, Judy Greer's enjoyable performance, Jordan spotting a bad wig, the waste of only eating brown M & M's, J-Lo's depressing drunk moment, and

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01:06:25

S2E8 : The Roast & Toast of "Racing Stripes"

The Roast and Toast Podcast ·

2021/06/01

Everyone enjoys a good underdog story, ESPECIALLY when it's about zebras racing horses. Jordan, John, and Rhiane watched the 2005 family film "Racing Stripes" upon Rhiane's love and devotion for it, and they sure do have a lot to say about it. They discuss the excessive verbal assault, Whoopi Goldberg getting roped into this awful production, the awfulness of the pelican, people being unfazed by wild animals roaming about, an overload of poop and fart jokes, the horse mafia, and a heck of a lot

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