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PODCAST

Secret Sesh

I smoke a joint on my couch and talk to myself. That"s it. Don"t look for any deeper meaning or anything. Is this content? I don"t know. I will not acknowledge this if you bring it up. I will pretend like I have no idea what you’re talking about. Just let it be. Ok, I"ll talk to you later. I hope you"re doing better.

comedy stand-up

All Episodes

00:08:54

PeePants: The Story of One Man's Poopy Peepee

Secret Sesh ·

2025/09/06

I like to think of myself as a pretty smart guy. Like I have taste and culture, and here I am naming an episode of my secret fucking podcast "PeePants: The Story of One Man's Poopy Peepee." I'm 33 years old. I should have a family. Or at least someone's family. Can I have your family? Let's make a deal, here. Come on- let me be your father. I'd be a good dad- or I think the kids would like me. Oh no, I'm becoming my mother.

en

00:21:59

The Paisley Affair

Secret Sesh ·

2025/09/01

Dude, sometimes I think I am a real bonehead. Other times, I think I'm a real Sasquatch.I think you get what I'm saying.

en

00:42:53

The Podcastization of the Novelization of Bill and...

Secret Sesh ·

2025/08/22

Sometimes you gotta take it back to Bermuda. Where the grass is green, or at least, I think it probably is. I've never been to Bermuda and fuck you for trying to give me guff about it. Why I oughta... honestly, I'm gonna probably look into how to best make an incredibly buttery and heart-stopping pretzel at home. Auntie Anne's style- the big time. There actually used to be a great spot in the Delta terminal at JFK, but that was probably over 10 years ago. My, how the time flies when

en

00:12:12

Your Fist - My Teeth: A Love Story

Secret Sesh ·

2025/08/06

I've mistaken multiple ducks for geese, but I've never found a goose be golden**That being said, I am colorblind

en

00:13:08

Anti-Virus

Secret Sesh ·

2025/07/21

My grandma’s finger tips! These were the last images I could recall when the morphine drip hit my veins. Let’s make the sausage, boys.

en

00:12:16

Clerical Error (the prophet comes to San Diego)

Secret Sesh ·

2025/07/15

Gloves. Balls. Bats. These are all in my friend's sex dungeon. He is 13 feet tall and doesn't have many allies. But I stand by him, left, right, and center (but not center right).There will be blood, there will be pie, there will be a lot of fun to be had at my friend's sex dungeon party! Make sure that you come in your Sunday* best! We'll have punch, we'll get drunk, and we'll all make love in my good friend's sex dungeon at his sex dungeon party!+1s are encouraged, but please don't bring someone

en

00:23:39

Unplug

Secret Sesh ·

2025/07/13

Dude, I got an insane calzone tonight. It was pretty awesome because I was able to utilize a buy 1 get 1 (BOGO) deal. Unfortunately, they did not add in the sausage I requested. Rats. Luckily, I was refunded the $4 for the cost- which is actually $2 more because of how the coupon factored in sausage to both. I also robbed a candy store but only took the sour stuff. Keep your money. Capitalism has destroyed your sweet tooth. Lockheed Martin.

en

00:15:59

Petrified Core

Secret Sesh ·

2025/07/11

Uh oh, there’s trouble in hunk town. We’ve got holes to fill!

en

00:18:37

You Can Change Your Life

Secret Sesh ·

2025/06/24

Lightning crashesA new mother criesHer placenta falls to the floorThe angel opens her eyesThe confusion sets inBefore the doctor can even close the doorLightning crashesAn old mother diesHer intentions fall to the floorThe angel closes her eyesThe confusion that was hersBelongs now to the baby down the hallOh, now I feel it coming back againLike a rolling thunder chasing the windForces pulling from the center of the Earth againI can feel itLightning crashesA new mother criesThis moment she's

en

00:10:04

Full Ass

Secret Sesh ·

2025/06/16

I heard the ring a ding ding and the lights went "dim"

en

00:08:58

Cartwheel City

Secret Sesh ·

2025/06/09

Wheel's stuck in the mud again. Gonna be a long Summer.

en

00:17:30

The Duck People Problem

Secret Sesh ·

2025/05/27

Sometimes they come at night. Sometimes they come in the morning. Sometimes they don't come at all. Your parents do have a lot of sex, though.

en

00:18:47

Head on a Swivel

Secret Sesh ·

2025/05/14

The sticks is loose and the forest is free. What's in your wallet? I am so fucking hungry.

en

00:12:29

Don't Do Me Like That

Secret Sesh ·

2025/05/13

You sir, are a gnome to the first degree. And I'll hear no more on the matter.

en

00:11:14

Sunemployent

Secret Sesh ·

2025/04/20

This was recorded on March 4th, 2024. I was let go from my job at 3pm on March 1st and passed at the Comedy Cellar at 8pm. I was in a weird place and forgot to post it. Here you go Mr. SucklepuffAnyways, I am literally bitching about the same things I’m bitching about now. Don’t to phish tucked payoffs. What more is there to say.

en

00:10:50

Somebody's Stolen Steroids

Secret Sesh ·

2025/02/26

Kiss on the cheek, kiss on the mouth, kiss on the knee, kiss on the forehead, but if you come anywhere near my ear, I'll end you.

en

00:14:49

The Inauguration of Gordon's Gecko

Secret Sesh ·

2025/01/20

Well, we did it. A momentous episode here at the Sesh Lab (TM). We've got frogs asking to be princes and we've got royalty asking for cake. I don't know where you're at, but when you're here- you're familia.

en

00:08:07

Kudzu Crust

Secret Sesh ·

2024/12/16

The weather. It’s cold. Now we’re talking about the weather. Brrrrrrrr. Ice cold. Gucci mane. He once showed up to an open mic in East Atlanta Village driving an ice cream truck, but I digress-

en

00:11:14

Jazzercize (but it's an exorcism (like an exorcism...

Secret Sesh ·

2024/11/23

Pick up those crumbs. I swear to god, if you don't clean up this couch- unbelievable! Get your butt upstairs and wait until your father gets home."Nyuk yuk" -The Three Stooges (one of whom's last name is 'Fine')

en

00:09:23

Tired of It

Secret Sesh ·

2024/11/20

Crunch your nuts, eat your cheese.

en

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