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PODCAST

Sex, Here & Now

Sex, Here & Now is a podcast rooted in sex positivity, inclusivity, and honest conversations about the realities of sex and modern relationships. The goal is simple: to inform, to educate, and to clear up the misconceptions that continue to dominate our culture about intimacy and relationships. We live in a world that is still wildly sex negative, shaped by shame, purity culture, misinformation, and outdated scripts about what intimacy “should” look like. This podcast exists to challenge

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

7:40

Put Away Your Penis & Strap-On!

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/05/26

Today’s episode is for my vulva owners, and honestly, for anyone who wants to rethink how we approach pleasure. We are stepping away from penetration and shifting the focus to something that often gets overlooked, fingers and tongues. Not because penetration is bad or off limits, but because so much of our cultural understanding of sex has been built around it being the “main event.” In this episode, we break that idea down. We talk about why penetration is not the primary pathway to orgasm for many

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5:31

Matt's Musings: Please, Let Them Reject You!

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/05/22

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt the sting of rejection and wondered what it says about them. I get real about my own experiences, from the subtle brush offs to the more obvious hits, and how those moments can stick with us longer than we would like.Here is the shift I want you to take with you. Rejection is not a verdict on your worth, it is information. It is clarity. It shows you where you do not fit so you can stop trying to force yourself into spaces that were never meant for

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35:00

Expert on Expert: Victoria Byler Helping Men Relearn...

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/05/19

I sat down with Victoria Byler, LPCC, owner of Revive Counseling, for a conversation that feels especially important right now. We dive into men, masculinity, and what it actually means to show up emotionally in a world that often teaches men to shut parts of themselves down. We talk about how shame shapes male identity, why vulnerability can feel so threatening, and what therapy looks like when men are finally given permission to feel instead of perform. This episode explores the pressures men

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4:46

Matt's Musings: Your Friends Don't Know What's Best...

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/05/15

This episode might feel like a bit of a bait and switch, but stick with me.Your friends are great. They love you, support you, hype you up, and probably have way too many stories about your past that they love bringing up at the worst times. There is real connection there, and a lot of vulnerability. But here is the question we are exploring today, should they be your go to source for advice about sex and relationships? In this episode, we unpack how all of us were raised in a sex negative culture

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6:44

When Sex Feels Out of Control

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/05/12

Today’s episode dives into one of the most misunderstood and emotionally charged topics I get asked about all the time, sex addiction. Or maybe more accurately, what people think sex addiction is. We are breaking down why the term is not officially recognized in the DSM-5, what clinicians actually look for when someone feels out of control, and why frequency alone is not the right question to be asking. If you have ever wondered, “Am I addicted to porn?” or “Is something wrong with me for thinking

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9:09

Listener Questions: Why Do Men Suck?

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/05/05

Today’s episode is a fun one. I am answering listener questions that range from how I got started as a sex therapist all the way to the bold question, why do men suck. We get into what I actually love about this work, including why spreading sex positivity continues to be at the core of everything I do, even with all the different roles that come with running a private practice.I also share a bit about my path into the field, from early experiences to burnout and eventually finding my way into sex

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7:20

Matt's Musings: Just Get Pegged Already!

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/05/01

In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, Matt dives into a topic that still makes a lot of people uncomfortable to even think about, pegging. Not just what it is, but why so many people are curious about it and what that curiosity actually means. This is not about pressure or pushing anyone to try something they are not interested in. This is about understanding your body, challenging outdated ideas about masculinity, and learning how to have honest conversations about sex with your partner. Matt

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13:49

The One Activity All Couples Need To Do

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/04/28

What if one simple exercise could completely change how you understand your sexuality and communicate your desires? In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I break down one of the most foundational tools I use with clients and one that I believe everyone should try: the Yes, No, Maybe list. This deceptively simple exercise helps you explore your sexual interests, boundaries, curiosities, and limits by sorting experiences into three categories. While it sounds straightforward, the impact can be

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39:13

Expert on Expert: Julie Labanz Breaks Down The Harm...

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/04/21

On this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I sit down with my colleague and friend Julie Labanz for a conversation that feels both overdue and incredibly necessary. We dive into the lasting impact of purity culture and how so many of us are still untangling the messages we absorbed about sex, worth, shame, and “goodness.” Even if you did not grow up in a religious household, purity culture has shaped the air we breathe. It influences how we talk about bodies, how we experience desire, and how we

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3:55

Matt's Musings: Never Stop Dating Each Other

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/04/17

We talk a lot about how relationships change over time, and they do. Life gets busy, routines take over, and before you know it, you are not really dating anymore… you are just coexisting.In this episode of Matt’s Musings, I talk about why that shift matters more than people realize. Dating is not just something you do at the beginning of a relationship. It is what creates energy, curiosity, and connection over time. When dating fades, many couples start to feel disconnected, not because something

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12:41

What To Do When Your Sex Life Falls Apart?

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/04/14

When sex starts to feel distant, tense, or nonexistent, it is easy to panic and assume something is broken. In this episode, Matt slows things down and walks you through what to actually look at when your sex life feels off. From stress, burnout, and self disconnection to relationship dynamics, communication breakdowns, and the unrealistic expectations we are taught about desire, this conversation reframes sexual struggle as information, not failure.You will hear why sex fading is normal, not a

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5:12

Matts Musings: You Probably Need Couples Counseling

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/04/10

There is this quiet belief that going to relationship counseling means something is wrong. That if you and your partner are “good,” you should be able to figure everything out on your own.In this episode of Matt’s Musings, I challenge that idea. Being open to relationship counseling is not about failure, it is about intention. It is about choosing to invest in your relationship before things fall apart, not after. We talk about why so many couples wait too long, how most of us were never actually

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11:23

We Love Each Other, But We Don’t Have Sex.

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/04/07

Why do so many loving couples stop having sex?In today’s episode of Sex, Here & Now, I’m diving into something I see constantly in my therapy office: couples in their late 30s and 40s who are still deeply in love… but their sex life has disappeared. No big betrayal. No dramatic rupture. Just an erotic stalemate. Drawing from Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, the Dual Control Model of sexual response from the Kinsey Institute, and insights from Esther Perel and Emily Nagoski, I break

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5:53

Matt's Musings: Making Sex Fun Again!

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/04/03

We need to talk about something that does not get said enough. Sex is supposed to be fun.In this episode of Matt’s Musings, I challenge the pressure people put on themselves to perform perfectly in the bedroom. From queefing to losing an erection at the worst possible moment, I break down why these experiences are completely normal and why they do not mean anything is wrong. This episode is really about shifting your mindset. Moving away from performance and perfection and getting back to

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33:51

Expert on Expert: Kristen Lilla Spills on The...

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/03/31

On this episode, I sit down with Kristen Lilla, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Educator, to talk about all things sex education and why the conversations we avoid are often the ones that matter most. We dive into her books, what inspired her work, and how she approaches teaching kids about bodies, boundaries, and consent in ways that are age-appropriate and empowering.We also get into why using the correct anatomical terms for body parts is not just about being clinical. It is about

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4:32

Matt's Musings: Bisexuality is on the Rise!

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/03/27

In this mini episode of Matt’s Musings, I’m diving into a topic that continues to spark curiosity, confusion, and meaningful cultural change: the rise in people identifying as bisexual.Recent research suggests that about 7 percent of people now identify as bisexual, and rather than asking why it is increasing, this episode explores a more important question. What happens when people finally feel safe enough to tell the truth about who they are? I talk about the history of bisexuality being

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7:35

I Am Writing My Own Sex Vows for My Wedding and So...

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/03/24

In this personal and reflective episode of Sex, Here & Now, I share something a little different. I am getting married this July to my partner of nine years, and as we started writing our own wedding vows, it got me thinking about something we almost never talk about in relationships or marriage: sex vows. After nearly a decade together filled with growth, therapy, travel, and redefining what partnership looks like, I found myself asking why traditional vows celebrate love, commitment, and

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4:37

Matt's Musings: Americans Want Open Relationships

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/03/20

A new study suggests that more than a quarter of Americans are interested in open relationships and honestly, my jaw hit the floor. Not because non monogamy is better than monogamy, but because it tells us something much bigger about where relationships are headed.In this episode, I explore what this growing interest in non monogamous relationships actually means for modern dating, intimacy, and personal identity. We talk about why relationship styles are not in competition with each other, how

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10:30

I Feel Sexually Neglected By My Partner. Help!

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/03/17

What does it really mean when someone says, “I feel sexually neglected”? In this episode of Sex, Here & Now, I explore a topic that comes up often in my therapy office and in many long term relationships. Sexual neglect is rarely just about sex. More often, it is about feeling unwanted, unseen, or no longer chosen by the person you love. We unpack why feelings of neglect show up in relationships, how stress and emotional overload impact desire, and why differences in attachment styles can create

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4:18

Matt's Musings: We Have to Talk about Soulmates

Sex, Here & Now ·

2026/03/13

Welcome to my series of mini-episodes that I call Matt’s Musings. These episodes will be short, focused, and center on tips and tricks relating to human sexuality that I think are important for all of us to know and understand. And hey, you now get to hear me more often? What a treat!Today, I am roasting the idea of soulmates and making it more open to our growth as humans. New full-length episodes dropping every week! “Matt’s Musings” episodes dropping every other week! Looking for sex

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