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PODCAST

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn"t think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

sports soccer

All Episodes

48:44

8.55 seconds in Wrexham, Celeste's Sky Sports flame...

Football Cliches ·

2025/08/13

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the nichest world record in football is shattered once again, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink's ex-footballer/Strictly contestant spiel, the extinguishing of Celeste’s five-year Sky Sports flame, why Dominic Calvert-Lewin to Leeds just feels so right, throwaway footballspeak in Homer’s Iliad and the Robert Earnshaw of bedwetting.Meanwhile, the panel run through some niche Premier League

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47:36

Curtain-raising issues, Wycombe's new goal verb &...

Football Cliches ·

2025/08/11

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural mini-review of the Community Shield, some glorious crowd-noise from the Championship, the decline of the word "amid" continues, Dean Saunders reboots his campaign against football jargon, Sunderland's transfer strategy goes back to basics and yet another Lionel Messi landmark.Meanwhile, the panel assess Wycombe's new goalscoring verb amid cricket's fascinating collections of words for

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43:42

Conor Coady's football club, alphabetical top flights...

Football Cliches ·

2025/08/07

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Conor Coady introduces himself as a Wrexham player in customary style, the awkwardness of double-header friendlies, the alphabetical distribution of team names in the top European leagues, some astonishing pedantry on Jimmy Greaves' Wikipedia page, textbook Andy Townsend radio chatter and much more. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive

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50:02

Eastenders' Euro 2025 joy, #AccidentalCantona & "the...

Football Cliches ·

2025/08/04

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: more Cliches references in wrestling commentary, Adam suffers a textbook "freak footballer injury" in real life, a cultural review of UK soap operas referencing England’s Euro 2025 glory, the glorious names of the vanquished non-League clubs in the FA Cup extra preliminary round, "the most 2011 transfer of all time", in-demans strikers' names in sci-fi spin-off series, the "90s footballer anecdote"

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70:09

The Football Cliches Quiz XX: The View From The Lane

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/30

The twentieth installment of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Dave take on James Maw, Jack Pitt-Brooke and Dan Kilpatrick from the Athletic's Tottenham podcast The View From The LaneThe questions include: Premier League sextuple goalsmen, 32-year-old footballers, incomplete XIs, the moderately well trodden path from Tottenham to Los Angeles, famous football voices dubbed into foreign languages, musical midfield maestros, footballers names on the Wimbledon champions board and, of

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42:55

Goalkeepers' headers & elasticos on the deck of the...

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/28

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the body language of players who should have had the ball squared to them but their team scored anyway, high-risk extra-curricular goalkeeping activity, unrealistic football skills in films and the lack of chips on sale at top-level football stadia. Sign up for Dreamland, the

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52:10

The Agyemang Cacophony, the storm-weathering...

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/24

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of England 2 Italy 1, Alan Brazil gets his head around the "Barclaysman" concept, the threshold for "weathering an early storm", Florian Wirtz blind-ranking potatoes and Troy Deeney offers some precious insight into being an elite-level player.Meanwhile, the panel discuss when it is appropriate to say a club have "got their man" in the transfer market and suggest some

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42:21

Talispersons, textbook Turkish Super Lig & time...

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/21

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Watford calling their new striker "free-scoring", the statute of limitations on a commentator's curse, adventurous commentators in UEFA Conference League qualifying, Besiktas find the most Besiktas solution to being snubbed by Kyle Walker-Peters, two-cap England internationals in Austro-Bavarian Christmas horror films and a 9/10 example of "the Lionel Messi Of [Industry X]"Sign up for Dreamland,

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46:31

The threshold for being "rudderless" & Tour de France...

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/16

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The knowledgeable Wimbledon crowd being too knowledgeable, ex-Tottenham midfield maestros in West African percussion, Adam's addiction to identifying football matches in the background of TV shows, questionable depictions of the football calendar in Danish science fiction novels and much more.Meanwhile, the panel give their vivid images of Tour de France riders as football players, based on

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44:41

Pre-season trophies, Iran in the Championship... and...

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/14

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: England meeting the Euro 2025 "lift-off" criteria, unexpected new players in the transfer-reporting game, Aston Villa marksmen in Basque hip-hop lyrics, an unorthodox analogy for Iran's terror threat to the UK, 90s football injuries you don't hear about, and much more.Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more:

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44:18

Overage youth team mentors & the quickest repaying of...

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/09

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: Commentators vs Fancy Kit Fonts, Joao Pedro (almost) literally repays a chunk of his transfer fee, politicians getting football wrong Pt.1,586, the club most likely to sign the current Free Agent XI, and much more.Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Get your ticket for

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42:21

Giving 40,000%, Test Match Andy Townsend & "Can you...

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/07

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Dave's karaoke with an EFL goal machine's wife, the tennis equivalent of a goal going in off the crossbar, a possible world record for a player’s exaggerated percentage of effort given for their team, Watford's cowardly kit statement, a familiar crowd noise pops up in a 2002 ITV drama and Richard Keys takes on....Wimbledon's Royal Box.Meanwhile, the panel tackle the two biggest philosophical

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54:40

Wimbledon tennis players as footballers & the...

Football Cliches ·

2025/07/02

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. On the agenda: The return of an allegedly iconic football TV programme, a never-before-seen method of laying out a starting XI, fears for an England team in a European major-tournament heatwave and the hypothetical situation of a team that wins every single game 1-0.Meanwhile, the panel imagine Wimbledon tennis players as footballers and decide when a game's "floodgates" can be opened. Sign up for

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45:56

Stopping Celeste's flame, pre-season lingo & Jhon...

Football Cliches ·

2025/06/30

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Celeste refusing to play the Super Sunday theme tune at Glastonbury, the club we really should have predicted would sign a nine-goal striker called Vivaldo, the prospect of substituted players being interviewed live on TV next season, Jhon Duran's curious career path, Conor McNamara's freestyle Club World Cup commentary and schools acting like Premier League clubs.Sign up for Dreamland, the new

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67:57

5-a-side injury updates & watching TV football from...

Football Cliches ·

2025/06/25

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the injury reports in 5-a-side group chats, players who look like they think throw-ins are beneath them, the horror of watching a game on a TV from an angle of less than 40 degrees and the unsatisfying asterisk that looms over at least half a dozen major international

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61:20

”The most involved-goals man", Swiss Army knives &...

Football Cliches ·

2025/06/23

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: which player could most plausibly play for all 32 Club World Cup teams, the inevitability of Ref Cam in the Premier League, more inappropriate EFL new-signing language, slightly desperate football references in Channel 4 TV listings, describing players as "Swiss Army knives" and the first glimpse of Steve Coogan’s big-screen Mick McCarthyMeanwhile, the panel decide the cut-off point for

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76:23

The Pure Bundesliga XI

Football Cliches ·

2025/06/18

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Bundesliga commentator Kevin Hatchard to compile the quintessential lineup of players from modern German football.The selection process involves some unhinged goalkeepers, giant defenders fathered by US military servicemen, lesser-known Brazilians, meat-and-potatoes midfielders, Japanese imports who stayed forever, German Under-21 internationals with English mums, a walking advert fort German footballing mentality, a Brazilian striker

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54:46

Count Infantula's Club World Cup, referee kit...

Football Cliches ·

2025/06/16

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: some early Club World Cup observations (including DAZN's motley crew of pundits and co-commentators), an unexpected Nigel Farage-based analogy, barely-audible Andy Hinchcliffe co-commentary in Ukrainian dance music, Kyle Walker's Turkish Super Lig credentials, a double header of football references in audiobooks and the Lampard & Gerrard of darts.Meanwhile, the panel examine the concept of

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55:52

Heavy England shirts, absolute clinics & Club World...

Football Cliches ·

2025/06/11

& David Walker. On the agenda: the half-hearted fallout from England 1-3 Senegal, Scotland's George Hirst mixes up his metaphorical goalscoring relief, why Claudio Ranieri should go to the World Cup, an unexpected exclamation from a South American commentator and cash vs curiosity as the Club World Cup looms.Meanwhile, the panel enjoy some elite-level Reddit pedantry and thrash out the definition of putting on a footballing "clinic". Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football

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44:50

Dixon is the new Lawro, Ange's logical next move &...

Football Cliches ·

2025/06/09

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the Clichés army react to Dave's big news, Thomas Tuchel enters familiar territory for an England manager, Lee Dixon continues to settle into his co-commentary caricature, Ange Postecoglou and other managers "always welcome back at [Stadium X]", acceptable new-signing adjectives from EFL social media admins, Conor Coady's hyper-logical next move and news of the 2025 Football Clichés Live

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209 results

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