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PODCAST

Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger

Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn"t think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker. Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN

sports soccer

All Episodes

69:16

BBC live-text sad lads & watching football in the...

Football Cliches ·

2026/03/12

The pod welcomes the writer, esteemed pintsman and creator of Dead Pubs, Jimmy McIntosh, for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Among Jimmy's selections are the nuances of watching live games in the pub (feat. Arsenal fans doing the Gyokeres celebration), the pioneering work of sporting director Damien Comolli, British football's aversion to poetic player nicknames, the rise (and potential fall) of "limbs" culture

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47:38

FA Cup scares/dumpings/cruises, dark orange cards &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/03/10

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a new shade of yellow card is invented, VAR delays in Roman times, legendary goalscorers' names in police documentaries, Neil Warnock's ultra-obscure cultural references in post-match interviews and Richard Keys on Indy 500 hosting duties.Meanwhile, the panel classify each FA Cup fifth-round exit/progression and ponder if someone could ever win player of the month with just a single-game

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50:23

The freefall threshold, Benjamin Sesko's windows &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/03/05

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw. On the agenda: the official start to the business end of the season, Wolves getting people whispering, Evann Guessand's very precise transfer clause, other podcasts adopting the Cliches Way, Benjamin Sesko's windows, Emma Radacanu's Watford coaches and Richard Keys featuring in a sensational URL.Meanwhile, the panel determine the exact criteria for a team to be in “freefall” and which football clubs have

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62:11

Co-commentary cues, flopping full-backs & the "one of...

Football Cliches ·

2026/03/03

The pod welcomes TNT Sports co-commentator Lucy Ward for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six personal fascinations and irritations of football.Among Lucy's selections are the joy of young players making their senior debut, fence-perching and megaphone-toting Continental ultras, the post-goal cue for a co-commentator to wax lyrical, the "Ayling Flop" and clubs tenuously claiming youth signings as "one of their own". Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel hear an

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56:45

The 5-a-side keepers' union & World Cup pub bunting:...

Football Cliches ·

2026/02/26

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are the mid-game solidarity between opposing 5-a-side goalkeepers, top-half teams with wildly anomalous goal differences, managers who performatively refuse to watch their players taking penalties, and the attitude of pubs towards their flag-based bunting during major

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53:45

Literally ghosting, Larry David's Champions League...

Football Cliches ·

2026/02/24

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and, for his 100th appearance, Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the North London derby, the threshold for a team "laying a glove" on the opposition, Champions League commentary with an unexpected voice twin, the concept of “losing the dressing room” handily explained by the BBC, the latest superbly-named Brazilian youth player and a classic Richard Keys interview from the late 1980s.Meanwhile, the panel reveal

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41:35

Hoddle's Curse strikes again, the world-record fans'...

Football Cliches ·

2026/02/19

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Glenn Hoddle suffers the commentator's curse in the Champions League once again, Tony Dorigo's possible claim to an obscure football record, Coventry 3 Middlesbrough 1 boiled down to its purest Gary Weaver, an unexpected return for Gazzetta Football Italia (sort of), and the news of a football-themed Dutch reality TV show.Meanwhile, the panel decide the most acceptable moment and game

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49:35

The Forest-Watford Vortex, champagne players & Pep vs...

Football Cliches ·

2026/02/17

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Pep Guardiola vs Daffy Duck in a fight for the soul of the FA Cup, whistling co-commentators, footballers’ names in US cop documentaries, Jamie O’Hara and Jason Cundy exceed themselves on Talksport, Michael Owen vs Ryan Giggs in the "Far East betting company ambassador video" stakes and predicting Richard Keys’ next withering managerial nickname. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the most Watfordy Nottingham

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49:43

Generic Spurs punditry, regurgitating possession &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/02/12

Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the 500th episode of the podcast. On the agenda: the finer details and ramifications of Thomas Frank being sacked by Spurs, celebrity chefs' names in Premier League goals, superb sponsors in National League clubs’ full-time tweets, Adidas releasing a disgustingly expensive multipack of every World Cup ball ever, the dubious concept of a "ding-dong stalemate", and the least exciting "Winner Stays On" TikTok video football will ever

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44:12

Introverted full-backs, radio commentary...

Football Cliches ·

2026/02/10

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Steve Bruce adds a crucial syllable to Pep Guardiola's legacy, gloriously synchronised radio commentary at Derby County, an unlikely candidate to be the new David Attenborough, an all-conquering UK tree qualifies for Europe, and a new use for the much-maligned Stockley Park.Meanwhile, the panel pick apart the confused, "common sense"-obsessed discourse in the aftermath of Liverpool 1 Manchester

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56:22

”Absolute wimp", Arsenal's pre-ignited quadruple & a...

Football Cliches ·

2026/02/05

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Carabao Cup curiosities, the exact status of Arsenal's quadruple hopes, a very subtle footballing prefix for a certain level of player, two listeners submit their 1,500-word mini-thesis on what constitutes a “finish”, the January Transfers That Just Feel So Right XI and a first-ever attempt at quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds: The Ladder.Meanwhile, the panel react to the bombshell news

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44:38

Scorpion scepticism, 80% ball knowledge & Conor...

Football Cliches ·

2026/02/03

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: subtle podcast references at the darts, goal probabilities with Clinton Morrison, West Brom fans' limited patience with their new manager, football boot manufacturers appearing in Latin epic poems, Conor Coady goes full Conor Coady in his first interview as a Charlton player and selecting the best moment of Ian Holloway's latest outburst.Meanwhile, the panel debate the aesthetic and technical merits

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59:51

Flats that overlook stadiums & the optimum time for...

Football Cliches ·

2026/01/29

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.Among the selections are Gary Neville's preoccupation with a specific touch of the ball before a shot, the best way to really enjoy an uninterrupted hour of Sky Sports News, the awkwardness of fans sat behind corner takers and a staunch defence of pundits’ right to state the obvious. Meanwhile,

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52:25

The "what's eating Erling Haaland?" threshold, FA...

Football Cliches ·

2026/01/27

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a quickfire review of Arsenal 2 Manchester United 3, unacceptably-named Premier League top scorers in football-adjacent Danny Dyer film trailers, the prospect of an FA Cup "anthem", 12.1 seconds of a commentator not realising a team have scored and unexpected ex-Prime Ministers in the Kenyan fifth division.Meanwhile, the panel speculate on how a mundane, single-goal, mid-table game

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67:48

Zohran Mamdani's PL Years & a chat with Éanna...

Football Cliches ·

2026/01/22

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a familiar name pops up at the Australian Open, Arsene Wenger's "daylight" offside law to be trialled in the Canadian Premier League, what things might be on the curriculum of "Football 101", whether the relentless, scoreline-proof chanting of Bundesliga fans gets too much praise, a charming social-media dispute about the technicalities of hat-tricks and New York mayor Zohran Mamdani shows

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44:13

The moment the AFCON final peaked, Wenger's Law &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/01/19

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the unifying absurdity that was the Africa Cup of Nations final, whether Spurs vs West Ham's "El Dissatisfactico" is the worst of its genre yet, an unexpected Premier League striker's name in a ghost story, the least satisfying FA Cup draw combinations, one Arsene Wenger tweak to the laws of football that might have some appeal, and footballing body language at bus stops.Meanwhile, the panel ponder

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66:50

Properly getting out, cricketing ASMR, and shadow...

Football Cliches ·

2026/01/16

It’s the final outing of the winter for Cricket Cliches, the first branch line of the Cliches network, and there’s an end of term feeling as the full team assembles to see us home.We’ve got egregious commentary and a hierarchy of acceptable ways to get out before we get all ASMR and dig into some of your favourite sounds from cricket. And, of course… of course, there’s another dip into the murky, and surprisingly expansive, world of shadow cricket. It’s very much not just batting. Learn more

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59:51

Shane Todd on post-save goalkeeper emotions &...

Football Cliches ·

2026/01/15

Shane Todd on post-save goalkeeper emotions & professional footballer-botherer Rio FerdinandThe pod welcomes comedian and presenter Shane Todd for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Shane's selections are 5-a-side games with fellow comedians, performatively angry post-save goalkeepers, Rio Ferdinand's uncategorisable current line of work, pre-internet transfer news and our collective curiosity with the day jobs

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44:02

Semenyo's 0.028% return, six nicknames in 15 seconds...

Football Cliches ·

2026/01/13

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a minor technicality with Cup-upset measuring, the size of the chunk of Antoine Semenyo's fee he had paid back, Scott McTominay's many nicknames, an unacceptable phrase for a team bottom of the table, a four-way footballing dilemma you have absolutely never considered before and Arsenal flops' names in Bruce Springsteen duets, Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience,

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48:40

41-year-old blokes playing for prime Barca, Ken...

Football Cliches ·

2026/01/08

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Manchester United's legacy machine cranks into gear again, some confusion over the pronunication of Chelsea's new manager, a familiar sound in a mid-90s wrestling arcade game, unlikely common ground between River Plate and Coronation Street's Ken Barlow, a teacher breaks some football news to his class of Year 8s and a relatively deep data dive into Richard Keys’ lesser-known

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253 results

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