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PODCAST

The Weekly Humorist Podcast

Weekly Humorist

The Satire Magazine. The Standard In American Immaturity. Welcome to the Weekly Humorist Podcast! Featuring audio articles from the pages of the Weekly Humorist. Curated picks from the editors you are sure to enjoy. Great for the illiterate and/or lazy fans! Tell your friends. Visit online at weeklyhumorist.com

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

1:05

Lesser Known Facts About House Speaker Mike Johnson

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/13

In addition to the app he and his son use to keep from masturbating, he also has an app that lets him know how many orgasms his wife would have had if he weren't such a milquetoast lover. Truly believes that God sent Donald Trump to lead America, and yet still chooses to be a Christian anyway. Is such a soulless, unfeeling, corrupt husk without a hint of basic human decency and compassion that he could easily seek out a career as a healthcare insurance CEO. Tries like the dickens to keep his

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2:34

How the Grinch Robbed Nakotomi Plaza

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/10

Every Who down in Who-ville liked Christmas a lot. But the Grinch, who used to work for Nakotomi Corporation, DID NOT! The Grinch hated Nakotomi! And their stupid headquarters Now, please don't ask why. There's a NDA involved, company orders. "They're handing out bonuses at their holiday bash," the Grinch lamented and grumbled and whined. And he thought of their safe filled with securities and cash. "I must find a way to make it all mine!" So the Grinch got a van. And a crew of henchmen (by money

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1:27

New Holiday Travel Road Games

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/07

Trump In The Road Can you guess what part of the country that you're currently driving through just by checking out the number of insanely racist bumper stickers and yard flags that you spot? You'll be doing it anyway, so why not make a game of it? Road V Wade Okay , so having to drive to another state in order to get female healthcare isn't technically a holiday road trip, but maybe count the number of hay bales you see during the ride or something? Nahtzee How many hate crimes and / or acts of

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3:46

Letters From The Frontlines Of The War On Christmas

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/12/04

Wartime correspondences are an important factor in maintaining morale among troops. Soldiers would often relay their harrowing experiences to their loved ones as a way to process and rejuvenate their fighting spirit. The "Letters From The Frontlines" Project acts as a historical record of their traumatizing wartime experiences. My Dearest Trudy, They've done away with the Christmas greeting. First, it was the department stores, then came the chains. Walmart, Macy's, Ross Dress for Less. Yes, my

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0:03

CARTOON: Bar Bites

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/24

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2:46

Seven Possible Out-of-Office Notifications for...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/22

Basic Notification: Thank you for your email. I'm currently out of the office until January 20th, 2029. I will respond to your query as soon as I can upon my return. Thanks, Democracy Unavailable/Not Checking Email: Greetings and thank you for your email! Despite not being the problem, I'm in court mandated civics training for the foreseeable future with absolutely no access to email. I'll respond as soon as possible upon my return, if I return. Sincerely, Democracy Redirecting Urgent Inquiries: I'm

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3:00

Hellmark Holiday Movie Channel

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/22

Introducing the one and only Hellmark Holiday Movie Channel, where your festive spirit meets its frightful match! Say goodbye to the warm fuzzies and hello to the chills and thrills because we're decking the halls with bowels of horror. That's right, we've taken your beloved holiday classics and mashed them up with horror icons to create a viewing experience that's more jingle hells than jingle bells. So, put on your ugly Christmas sweater, grab some gingerdead cookies, and cozy up by the fire (but

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1:07

Matt Gaetz Drops AG Bid Amid Suss Speculations

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/22

Former Florida Representative Matt Gaetz announced that he is withdrawing from consideration as President-elect Donald Trump's choice for attorney general. The reasons may not surprise you. Venmo transactions get way too much scrutiny at the DOJ level. The DOJ cafeteria doesn't serve Jell-O shots. Realized he'd have to read documents containing more than 280 characters at a time. Shocked to learn that "Florida Man" isn't a valid legal precedent. He thought "judicial review" meant rating courtroom

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0:04

CARTOON: Wild Whiskers

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/17

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1:54

Completely Reasonable Stipulations For the Cheapest...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/17

Welcome to Spirited Fronts airlines where nobody has cheaper flights! We're talking $20 round trip to anywhere in the US! That's right, just $20!* *additional services cost additional fees Additional services include: Checked bag is an extra $150 Carry on bag is an extra $120 Personal item is an extra $99 (Personal item must be less than 2 inches by 4 inches - this includes cellular phones) If you would like to sit down, that's an additional $150 If you'd like a seat belt (required) that's an extra

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6:26

So You've Decided to Live Out Your Days in a Remote...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/07

Let me guess. Like millions of other Americans, you've suddenly decided to relocate to the most remote, obscure monastery on the face of the earth and spend the remainder of your life praying, meditating, and avoiding the 24-hour news cycle. Any particular reason? Nah, not really. After all, who needs a reason to spend some quality time with God? Yep. Hangin' with the G-dawg. That's what this is all about. Getting things squared with the man upstairs. Preferably someplace with no internet

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0:36

Incelebrity Apprentice and 11 Other Shows Trump Now...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/06

Incelebrity Apprentice Jail or No Jail Let's Make a Plea Deal Fox and No longer Friends No Truth or Zero Consequences 20 Billion Dollar Pyramid Scheme The Amazing White Race This Old Big House The People's Bankruptcy Court Lame Duck Dynasty American Idle Rich Dancing with the Tsars

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3:28

'Twas the Night of the Election (or "A Visit from St....

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/04

'Twas the night of the election, and all over cable news, Not a network was covering anything but red states and blues. The pundits were booked on the panel shows with care, As one spoke, ten others all nodded and stared. The pollsters were complacent, all smug with their data, While margins of error would allow backpedaling later. And I, on my sofa, weary from attack ads and rallies, Settled my brain for a nap, long before there'd be any vote tallies. Then from my TV there arose such a clatter, I

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0:04

CARTOON: Ballot Box Boogeyman

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/01

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1:17

How To Support Queer Folk During Election Season With...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/01

1. Put a tiny rainbow flag in your pencil cup 2. Wear rainbow tie dye 3. Add an ally background on Zoom 4. Add pronouns to everything 5. Buy pronoun pins for your friends 6. Wear a "Vote With Pride" sticker 7. Reshare "love is love" graphic on Instagram 8. Reshare Lin Manuel Miranda's "love is love" speech 9. Buy a "love is love" shirt 10. Order a rainbow cake for delivery 11. Read up on current queer political issues 12. Donate to trans rights organizations 13. Share what you've learned with your

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3:50

Central Park Defends Its Dry Spell

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/11/01

As of Tuesday morning, Central Park had gone 29 days without measurable rain, the second-longest dry streak in records that date back to 1869 […} If no rain falls before midnight on Halloween, October would be the driest calendar month in the city's history. - The New York Times, 10/29/2024 It's been a minute since any condensation has been spotted in my vast meadows, but it's not a big deal - I've just got a lot going on right now. It's not that I want to be in a dry spell, per say, I'm just so

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3:16

What Your Favorite MLB Mascot Says About You

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/10/30

Phillie Phanatic - You're a big fan of role play. Baxter of the Arizona Diamondbacks - You're into furries and/or are Andrew McCutchen. Swinging Friar of the San Diego Padres - You keep track of your score when you watch Jeopardy! You have never won. Mariner Moose - Your spouse is into role play and asks you to wear the moose head with the Phanatic body. Dinger of the Colorado Rockies - You hit your one and only home run in second-year T-ball. Billy the Marlin - You are a serial killer. Lou Seal of

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1:05

Lesser Known Tidbits About Art The Clown

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/10/25

He's a big fan of Trump. They wear just about the same amount of makeup, and Art loves doing to a human body with a chainsaw what Trump has done to America with his arrogant stupidity. The rumors are true, some audience members are having to leave the theatre due to nausea and vomiting; not from the graphic violence, but rather the artificial butter that soaks the popcorn. While no one seems to be aware of his exact origin, Art The Clown was spotted as a recurring cast member on the second season of

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4:43

Give the Neighborhood Kids a Good Scare With This...

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/10/24

To ensure the neighborhood kids have a Halloween to remember, Flesh 'N' Bones is proud to be the nation's top purveyor of premium decaying bodies. We're confident you'll be pleased with the scare potential of our lifeless forms - whether you simply slump it against the front door with a bowl of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups or you go for a more elaborate setup, like an authentic murder mystery for your 6-year-old and her entire class. Product description: Your spooky decorations won't be complete

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5:32

Music Moments from the Year 2044

The Weekly Humorist Podcast ·

2024/10/22

January 8: Kid Rock Runs Over Coors Light Cans in Mobility Scooter When the Colorado brewery goes "politically correct" by donating .5 percent of that year's proceeds to public library renovations in underserved communities, Kid Rock burp-bellows proudly, "Fuck that shit." He then lines up dozens of Coors Light cans - which he says he definitely did not buy just for this - and runs them over in his diesel-powered mobility scooter. The 160 beat-per-minute crunches form the backbone of his new song,

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