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PODCAST

The Clopen Effect

©The Clopen Effect

Welcome to The Clopen Effect, a Funny Retail Podcast! Join us every week as we share our lives working in retail. Our lineup features fantastic guests, including local business owners, seasoned retail professionals, and the occasional surprise musician and artist. We"re Basically Famous®! “By far the most relatable, humbling, and funniest podcast I’ve ever listened to! It keeps me busy at work, laughing, shaking my head in agreement, and remembering my own wild work stories. And it’s not always

comedy careers

All Episodes

39:13

Thifting with Daisy

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/07/27

Guests: Mama Brianna & Baby Daisy🌼This week, we welcome the sweetest guests, Mama Brianna and her 9-month-old daughter, Daisy! We explore theorigin of the name Daisy, its meaning (“day’s eye”), and why it's the perfect fit for such a bright little soul.We also give a shoutout toDented Gate Flower GardeninWoodstock, IL, a local gem filled with natural charm.Then, we slightly dive into the growing world ofthrift shopping:🛒 Surprising stats on how much people are really spending.🌍 Why thrifting

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42:14

Cass Goes on Rants

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/07/19

We ket AI write this recap, Lol:In this laugh-out-loud episode ofThe Clopen Effect: A Funny Retail Podcast, Cass shares a wild story about a customer who stood directly in her way — and refused to budge. We break down the awkwardness, the tension, and the hilarity that happens when retail workers are just trying to do their job… and shoppers are just trying to pretend they don’t see you.Then, we dive into20ish different types of shopperswe all know and love. Whether you’ve worked retail or you’re

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01:08:26

Secret Squirrel 3

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/07/12

She’s back! In Part 3 of our Secret Squirrel series, our favorite AP expert returns to talk about the people who take a chance at stealing and how often they get caught. We explore the quick decisions, bold moves, and bizarre attempts that happen every day in retail. We also play the '"Have You Ever?" game for some fast and fun AP confessions. Be sure to stick around until the end when Secret Squirrel shares one of her most unforgettable stories yet.All The Clopen

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34:32

Can Someone Please Page My Mental Health?

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/07/03

Cancer is not funny. Let’s be clear about that. But sometimes the situations we find ourselves in as retail workers leave us so stunned, all we can do is laugh or cry.In this episode, Cassandra shares one of those moments. A customer casually dropped a very personal and medically graphic detail mid-conversation, leaving her wondering, “What do I even say to that?”We unpack why this happens, why customers share so much with retail workers, how we’ve unintentionally become emotional support humans,

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42:29

Vegas Schmegas

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/06/23

Cassandra survives a sizzling Vegas heatwave and finally sees her first Elvis impersonator. Meanwhile, Meredith has a moment: she thought she saw a woman with no arms… but it was just a cold-shoulder shirt. Laugh with us this week! It's a good one!All The Clopen Links:https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs!https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support👕Buy Our Cool Merch:https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814💩Check

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42:56

Do Not Engage

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/06/11

We chat about how much time we actually spend in our cars, from sitting at red lights and waiting to turn left, to crawling through construction traffic and waiting in drive-thru lines. We also talk about how those minutes add up to days each year. We discuss coffee creamers and how we plan to make millions real soon.$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! PLUS, you receive early episode releases and fun gifts!https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportDo Not Engage Button:

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36:47

Who Dun Did It!? The Dry Ice Edition

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/06/04

One of us now knows the danger of Dry Ice in a closed vehicle. Dry ice issolid carbon dioxide (CO₂). When it “melts,” it doesn’t become a liquid; itsublimatesdirectly into a gas. That means it turns into carbon dioxide gas, which displaces oxygen in the air.All The Clopen Links:https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs!https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support👕Buy Our Cool

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42:45

Gardening Tips and Tricks with The Clopen Gals

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/05/30

What the heck is a WigglyBush!? We dug into America’s $176B landscaping obsession, wild HOA rules (no red mulch?!), and Cass’s yard glow-up thanks to Johnny. From mulch math to HOA drama, we laughed, learned, and maybe judged a lawn or two. Cass even aced the landscaping quiz, and Meredith learned about helicopter seeds. 🌱🎙️All The Clopen Links:https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs!https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support👕Buy Our Cool

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37:06

Quizzes, Costco and Surgeries

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/05/24

Can Cassandra guess all the grocery words before time runs out? PLUS, we dish on Costco culture and share some real talk about surgery recovery (yes, even the parts no one warns you about).All The Clopen Links:https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs!https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/support👕Buy Our Cool Merch:https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814💩Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety Makes Me Poop:Available

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41:50

The Mattress Money Madness (Our 200th Episode!)

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/05/16

Happy 200th Episode to The Clopen Effect! Let's talk about mattresses.Helpful Links:All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffectSupport the Show & Keep Us Recording: https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool Merch: https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814💩Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety Makes Me Poop: Available wherever you listen!🟢30 Days to Building Resilience in the

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01:35:17

Pizza, Pasta, Pope (Episode 199!!)

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/05/03

In this episode, Meredith and Julia talk pizza, pasta, and the Pope while traveling in Italy. Cassandra brings the sunny (and sometimes chaotic) energy of Florida. No deep dives here, just funny moments, quirky details, and the little differences we noticed between these two worlds. It’s all about enjoying the stories, sharing some smiles, and maybe leaving you craving a slice of pizza or a beach chair by the end.🟢30 Days to Building Resilience in the

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58:15

Spring Awakening with Aeon Lounge

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/04/04

Kristen, owner of Aeon Gallery in Richmond, IL. joined us for laughs and a sneak peek into her Absinthe Lounge’s incredible upcoming vendor event, Spring Awakening, on April 27th! We chatted about her haunted photo book and the mysterious forces that knocked Moscow Mule mugs off the hooks. Good vibes, great art, and maybe a ghost or two - just how we like it. (Well, Cass is really only a fan ofdrinkingspirits, nottalkingto them!)🟢30 Days to Building Resilience in the

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31:35

The Depresso Espresso Episode

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/03/29

Many choose Retail as a fast-paced, people-driven career for the energy, flexibility, and growth opportunities (sort of). It’s not always easy, but it builds strong skills, opens doors, and can even lead to big money at the top. We’ve also got some hilarious retail-themed movie quotes and titles to share because if you’ve worked retail, you know it’s basically a comedy show!🟢30 Days to Building Resilience in the

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40:11

Americard VS. Mastercharge (and somehow we talk about...

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/03/22

Ever wonder howcredit cardswent from old-school charge plates (cha-ching!) to the tap-to-pay magic we use today? In this episode, we take afun lookat thehistory of credit cards, their quirks, and how they’ve been hilariously portrayed incartoons. From the first Diners Club cardto Marge Simpson maxing out her limit, we cover the good, the bad, and the overdrawn. No finance degree is required. Just laughs and swipes!🔹 Who invented the credit card?🔹 What did people use before plastic?🔹 Cartoons

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35:03

The Do’s and Don’ts of Virtual Meetings

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/03/15

Let’s be honest: We’ve all been on somequestionablevirtual calls. From camera etiquette to knowing when (and whennot) to unmute, we’re breaking down the dos and don’ts that make meetings smoother, more productive, and way less awkward. Whether you’re guilty of talking on mute, multitasking a littletoohard, or enduring never-ending silences, this one’s for you!Listen in, take notes (or don’t, we won’t know), and let’s make virtual meetings suck a little less!All the Clopen links:

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47:17

Say Cheese!

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/03/05

In this episode, we explore thehistory of cheese, including how it's been around for7,000 yearsand how thelargest cheese wheelever made weighed57,000 pounds! We also touched on fun cheese facts like thecheese cave in Missouri and the (gross) world ofmaggot cheese.Plus, we celebrated10 and 25-year wedding anniversaries!All the Clopen links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffectSupport us here to keep us recording: https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy merch here because it's cool:

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46:22

Chocolate, Chocolate and More Chocolate

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/02/28

Here's a quick recap of the history of chocolate. And correct, Meredith never knows how to pronounce anything. It's all good:Ancient OriginsChocolate’s history dates back over 3,000 years to Mesoamerica (modern-day Mexico and Central America). TheOlmecs (1500-400 BCE) were likely the first to cultivate cacao and use it for ceremonial drinks. Later, theMayans and Aztecs adopted cacao, turning it into a bitter, spiced beverage called“xocoatl,” often mixed with chili, vanilla, and honey. The Aztecs

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44:11

Happy Valentine's Day - Let's Laugh

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/02/14

The five stages of grief... we mean, a retail work day. Also, pork shoulder butts, bad drivers and winter weather.Building Resilience at Work - the certified course!All the Clopen links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffectSupport us here to keep us recording: https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy merch here because it's cool: https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814All material, unless otherwise stated, written and performed by The Clopen Effect

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51:32

Staying Awake with Hannah

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/02/09

Let's talk third shift! We’re talking about the realities of overnight work with Hannah - she knows the ins and outs of the night shift grind. Download this episode for insights, a fun chat, and a quiz about living the late-night schedule!#ThirdShift #NightShiftLife #AClopenEffect #podcastBuilding Resilience in the workplace - new course from Meredith! Use code YOUR30DAYJOURNEY to save money!All the Clopen links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffectSupport us here to keep us recording:

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36:38

Sloth Punch Love - Billboards

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/01/31

This week's episode is so fun! Here's a recap:Funny Billboards– We've seen some of the wildest and cheesiest billboards, including lawyer ads and the infamous Brian Urlacher hair restoration billboards.Hulk Hogan & Bret Michaels’ Bandana Hair Mystery– Why these guys love their headwear and how Bret Michaels keeps his rockstar look intact.Every Rose Has Its Thorn– We had a mini rock nostalgia moment talking about Poison’s classic ballad.How Much Does a Billboard Cost?– We discuss the pricing for

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