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PODCAST

The Clopen Effect

©The Clopen Effect

Welcome to The Clopen Effect, a Funny Retail Podcast! Join us every week as we share our lives working in retail. Our lineup features fantastic guests, including local business owners, seasoned retail professionals, and the occasional surprise musician and artist. We"re Basically Famous®! “By far the most relatable, humbling, and funniest podcast I’ve ever listened to! It keeps me busy at work, laughing, shaking my head in agreement, and remembering my own wild work stories. And it’s not always

comedy careers

All Episodes

54:34

Hardworking Hobbies

The Clopen Effect ·

2026/01/09

We do so much more than work retail! Let's talk about it. Hobbies and extracurricular activities.All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffectSupport the show and advertising opportunity: https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool Merch: https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814💩 Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety Makes Me Poop: https://linktr.ee/anxietymakesmepoop🟢 30 Days to Building Resilience in the Workplace:

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01:02:22

Home of the Sparrow - Judy and Holly

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/12/19

Judy and Holly are here from Home of the Sparrow! Here is their mission and some insights from their website:"Home of the Sparrow’s mission is to provide Hope, Opportunity and Support that empowers women and children as they journey from homelessness to self-sufficiency. Home of the Sparrow opened its doors as a registered 501(c)3 non-profit homeless shelter in 1987. Today, Home of the Sparrow not only provides Transitional Shelter, but also Affordable Housing and Rapid Re-Housing combined with

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47:36

Wild Hunny Boutique - Eat, Shop, Love, Local

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/12/11

Laura, owner of Wild Hunny Boutique, is here this week! We chat about her boutique and surprise her with the game: 'Finish the Christmas lyric'. It's a great listen!Wild Hunny Boutiqueis awoman-owned local shopspecializing inaffordable, stylish, and giftable items— perfect for holiday shopping, everyday wear, and supporting local makers.📍 Located at1213 Riverside Drive, near the Riverwalk Shops in McHenry.Here’s what you’ll find inside:👗Women’s ClothingA constantly refreshed selection

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51:31

Stay Warm, Don't Let the Bed Bugs Bite

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/12/04

This week, Meredith and Cassandra chat about the winter inventions that helped us survive the cold - from the classic hand muff to heaters, ice scrapers, remote starts, and shovels. It’s a quick, fun look at how these cold-weather creations came to be. omehow bed bugs made their way into the conversation, too. We give a shout-out to one of our #1 fans, Shannon, and Meredith love Lauren Conrad clothes at Kohl's.Info from this episode:🔥 Fireplace (a.k.a. Early Heating System)~500,000

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36:04

Thankful For You F*ckers 2025

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/12/01

Let's talk about the dangers of cooking on Thanksgiving! And a few other stories...All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffectSupport the show and advertising opportunity: https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool Merch: https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814💩 Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety Makes Me Poop: https://linktr.ee/anxietymakesmepoop🟢30 Days to Building Resilience in the Workplace:

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01:10:35

Bellies Food Truck with Owner Chris

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/11/20

What a fantastic interview with Chris from @belliesfoodtruck 🐷Owner Chris, along with his wife, his daughter, his business partner, his dad, and his brother, serves up pork belly bites, Cuban sandwiches, and Meredith’s favorite grilled cheese!We talk about Chris’s past jobs and how Bellies came to be. And of course, there is a short quiz at the end where we realize that Chris is surprisingly good at guessing years in history. Like… how is he that good? Anyway... their food is fantastic! Please

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01:04:10

Beavers and Buttglands (What is in our food!?)

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/11/14

In this week’s episode ofThe Clopen Effect, we chat about40 wild food additives - what they are, how to actually pronounce them, and the sneaky places they like to hide. Spoiler: your snacks might containwood chips, your bread might includeduck feathers, and yes… there’s a beaver gland situation.Weattemptto deliver accurate info, but let’s be honest: we’re acomedy podcast, not a science lab. If we messed something up - our bad. Just keep listening anyway. It’s funnier when we’re slightly wrong.All

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57:32

Spooky Ways to Live (Happy Halloween!)

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/10/31

Mature audiences only, please!🎃Meredith and Cassandra dive into 20 of the rarest medical conditions people can suffer from — it’s a tough one, but perfect for Spooky Season!We also chat about Meredith’s “diet,” the manager with an attitude, the chores weletour husbands handle, and—drumroll please—we’re celebrating being listened to in all 50 states! Huge thank you to Nina for helping us get there!Oh, and one more thing… who do we know that owns a candle company? We have plans.All The Clopen Links:

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54:12

Spooky Season With the Bestie

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/10/23

Cassandra, Bestie, and Meredith chat about one of the eeriest topics yet - the worst ways to die in retail. For mature audiences only, please!It’s spooky season, and while this episode sounds dark, it’s handled with care, respect, and just enough Halloween edge to give you chills (without crossing the line).From freezers to forklifts, compactors to parking lots, we explore the strange, tragic, and sometimes unbelievable accidents that have happened in and around retail workplaces.All The Clopen

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34:12

Haunting Thefts

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/10/17

Here's the rundown of this week's show:Home Invasions / Residential BurglariesThieves go forsmall, high-value, easy-to-carrystuff.Top items:CashLaptops, tablets, phonesJewelry and watchesPrescription medsFirearmsThey want things they can grab fast and resell easily.Average loss? A fewthousand dollars per break-in.Store Robberies / Retail TheftThe “greatest hits” list of what walks out of stores:ElectronicsDesigner clothing and accessoriesCosmeticsAlcoholMeat and deli itemsBaby formulaCoffee and

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01:05:47

Don't Take Candy From Strangers

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/10/09

Hey friends! Before we share this week's episode, a quick note:Every week, The Clopen Effect is full of jokes, absurd retail stories, and general chaos. You know, our usual nonsense.Today, since it’s spooky season, we’re taking a small detour. We’re covering two very serious events: the disappearances of Adam Walsh from a Sears in 1981 and Ann Gotlib from Bashford Manor Mall in 1983. Not all the details are provided here, so please conduct your own online research if you'd like to learn more about

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58:08

Spooky Drinking with Devangelist

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/10/03

We had a great time with the Rockstar of Retail - our friend Tim! We were listening to the Cubbies win, so the recording fades in and out a bit, but oh well (they won!). In this episode, we chat about Tim’s bands and run through the top scary movie quotes. Stick around until the end to hear a song titledDeviant!All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool

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54:13

Bathroom Breaks and Dirty Grapes

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/09/28

We kick things off with a hilarious story from our co-worker who carried100 balloons for 1.5 milesfrom the store to an office party (yes, people stared). Then it’s all about GERMS— the gross, sneaky, everyday kind that hide where you least expect them. Fun, funny, and a little bit ewww - this episode has it all!All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool

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41:29

Dying to Win (Competitive Eating Contests)

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/09/20

From hot dogs at Coney Island to lamingtons in Australia, competitive eating contests are one of the strangest - and most fascinating - traditions around the world. Today, we’re talking about thewild history, thetraining secrets, and even thedangersof this stomach-stretching sport.All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool

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01:04:52

Rest Stops and Snack Shops

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/09/11

Wowee, we do love to laugh at ourselves! This episode is no different! We talk about road trips and rest stops, snacks and car ride games. Thanks for being here! We are really having a great time with all of you!All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool Merch:https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814💩 Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety

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40:22

Washy Wishes

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/09/04

This week, we talk about classic wives' tales, we read some great ones from our listeners, and get a little depressed about zoos. Oops. Anyway - enjoy this week's episode!All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool Merch:https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814💩 Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety Makes Me Poop:Available wherever you listen

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38:02

Fair Food Poisoning

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/08/30

Food festivals are so fun! We love them and talk about the most popular, iconic, largest, quirkiest, weirdest, and longest-running. We talk about our local ribfest and the Bristol Renaissance Faire (Kenosha, WI).All The Clopen Links: https://linktr.ee/theclopeneffect$2/month keeps us recording and bringing you all the laughs! https://the-clopen-effect.captivate.fm/supportBuy Our Cool Merch:https://www.zazzle.com/the_clopen_effect_t_shirt-256038010043042814💩 Check Out Our Other Podcast – Anxiety

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30:43

ROY G. BIV

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/08/24

ROY G. BIVColors don’t justlookgood in a store, they actuallydosomething to our bodies.When our eyes see a color, the signal travels to our brain, and that can change how we feel, even how fast our heart beats.Redmakes your heart beat faster. That’s why stores use it for clearance tags and sales—it screamsbuy me now!Yellowis like sunshine. It makes your brain feel happy and alert. That’s why you’ll see yellow on bananas, mustard, or bright sale signs.Greenis calming. It reminds us of nature and

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01:00:27

Bread Math with Jason

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/08/08

In this episode, we chatthe world of bread and the math behind it (sort of), with our special guest,Jason!Jason 'drives' us through hisbread delivery route, explaining how the numbers, store stops, and fresh bread logistics all come together.Meredith tries her best to follow along, but admits… shestill doesn’t really understand how it works. (Bread routes arecomplicated, okay?)We take a fun detour into a Bread Quiz, which ChatGPT created and yes,Cass’s name is in it!She’s AI famous now.Oh, and

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39:13

Thifting with Daisy

The Clopen Effect ·

2025/07/27

Guests: Mama Brianna & Baby Daisy🌼This week, we welcome the sweetest guests, Mama Brianna and her 9-month-old daughter, Daisy! We explore theorigin of the name Daisy, its meaning (“day’s eye”), and why it's the perfect fit for such a bright little soul.We also give a shoutout toDented Gate Flower GardeninWoodstock, IL, a local gem filled with natural charm.Then, we slightly dive into the growing world ofthrift shopping:🛒 Surprising stats on how much people are really spending.🌍 Why thrifting

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