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PODCAST

Keeping Records

In 1977, NASA sent the Voyager into space with two records known as the “Golden Records.” On them were recordings of notable historic music, evocative nature sounds, and murmurs from contemporary life, all used to paint a picture of humanity and the world at large. Things have changed a lot since 1977, so Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein are trying their hand at an update. They"re talking with comedians, musicians, and the like about what they would include on their own “golden record” if a new one

comedy comedy interviews

All Episodes

80:09

Very Human to Dance (with Carly Kane)

Keeping Records ·

2022/06/10

Gather in close, lil freaks - things get serious for a minute as Caleb and Shelby open up with you all about the family stuff they've had going on. Turns out, growing up sucks. But the intimate moments don't stop there: we also learn a lot about Caleb's balls, guest Carly Kane lets it slip that she's a die-hard Eminem stan, and Shelby reveals the instability of her wifi connection by leaving and re-entering the chat, repeatedly. Carly's Artifacts: When a Crush Puts Their Hand On Your Knee/Leg

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93:13

The Ways in Which (with Camirin Farmer)

Keeping Records ·

2022/06/03

We're back and we're hornery. We talk about marriage and mentally ill babies, Real Housewives and mentally ill Real Housewives, and the ways in which young Mormons are (or, apparently, are not) having sex. Comedian Camirin Farmer comes through with a list of artifacts that can only be described as iconic, and also ruthlessly drags actress Lea Michele but we're fine with that. Plus, per every lil freak's request, Caleb and Shelby unearth their first ever video artifact, a public-broadcasting-esque

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78:42

The Bay Area Rave Scene (with Natasha Leggero and...

Keeping Records ·

2022/05/27

The place: a grim, dimly-lit warehouse in Oakland. The year: 1999. Our hero, known to most simply as “DJ Moshe,” a prolific local techno disc jockey, prepares to square off against his enemy, DJ E. Moshe, in an underground battle for house-music-scene domination. How does this tale of high stakes adventure end? Does our hero prevail as the greatest selector the Bay Area has ever known? Or does he get into comedy, fall in love with Natasha Leggero, and together stop by the Headgum studios to send the

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64:55

Shock and Awe (with Kiry Shabazz)

Keeping Records ·

2022/05/20

Have you ever really listened to the words of "Baby" by the young hitmaker Justin Bieber? No, like, really really listened? Comedian Kiry Shabazz walks Caleb and Shelby through a close reading of the lyrics, while sending to space other songs not yet included in the Great American Songbook because they are cowards. Taking the most strategic, tactical approach of any Keeping Records guest before him, Kiry's tightly curated but mostly music-based Golden Record is meant to make the aliens feel sexy,

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67:36

Clown Tour Pt. 2 (with MUNA)

Keeping Records ·

2022/05/13

Let's pick up where we left off, shall we? It's your favorite band MUNA back in the studio (that they never really left) to really get into their mostly gastronomy-related picks for the Golden Record. In between listing out their favorite burrito spots, Naomi, Jo, and Katie listen encouragingly as Caleb and Shelby try their hand at songwriting; Caleb and Shelby give notes as MUNA sharpens their improv chops. It's a beautiful, symbiotic collaboration; a peak behind the creative curtain for lil

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45:22

Clown Tour Pt. 1 (with MUNA)

Keeping Records ·

2022/05/06

There's arguably too many people in the studio. They arguably all talk about too many things at once. Fortunately, Jo, Naomi, and Katie (members of your favorite band MUNA) took their mission very seriously, collaborating on a tightly edited Golden Record to send only the very best earth stuff to space. Unfortunately, they all spend too long making sex noises with their hands to get to most of them, so you'll have to tune into the next episode, too. MUNA's Artifacts (to be continued): Spy (2015

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80:11

Bring in the Ringer (with Lou Roy)

Keeping Records ·

2022/04/29

Is there any lil freak/Lord of the Ring fan crossover? We sure do hope so, because Caleb, Shelby, and musician Lou Roy kind of go off about Tolkien for a while this week. They do manage to leave Middle Earth for a little while to talk about Hometown Buffet - which we tried to provide a URL link to but incredibly, does not have a website in this year of our lord 2022. So really if any humans or aliens want to learn about that place, they kind of have to listen to this ep??? Lou's

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64:13

Shelby's America

Keeping Records ·

2022/04/22

Caleb and Shelby sit down for a little one-on-one in the studio to discuss the biggest names of our generation: Joe Rogan, Jordan Peterson, Reba McEntire, Shelley Duvall, and Heath Ledger. They also carve out some time to hone their improv chops but somehow only get to two of your additions to the Golden Records. But as always, they're perfect, just like all of you lil freaks. Your Record Additions: The Reba Theme Song (Audio) Pizza with Ranch (Food) Watch the video version of the

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81:33

I Know That's Right (with Lily Sullivan)

Keeping Records ·

2022/04/15

The world's teeeeniest podcast hosts (Caleb and Shelby) invite on the tiiiiiniest guest (writer/performer/recent sister wife Lily Sullivan [The Righteous Gemstones, I Think You Should Leave, Comedy Bang Bang!]) to talk about about this parmesan cheese commercial for an hour. They are all so small and so brave. This episode also marks the development of a brand new spinoff podcast, hereafter referred to as a "side pod," wherein one of the hosts or even the guests themselves start their own separate

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66:11

In the Terrarium (with Vinny Thomas)

Keeping Records ·

2022/04/08

Caleb and Shelby invite comedian and writer Vinny Thomas into the gauntlet (our recording studio) to find out if he can survive an hour in the hottest room known to humankind (the Headgum AC was broken). See which of the following symptoms of heat stroke according to WebMD.com you can spot amongst the three of them throughout the duration of the episode: Confusion, altered mental status, slurred speech Hot, dry skin or profuse sweating Very high body temperature Low-key delirium Picking

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77:22

Duke of Done Wrong (with Laura Peek)

Keeping Records ·

2022/04/01

Comedian/Tennessee native Laura Peek logs on with Caleb and Shelby to wade through the trials and tribulations of the best/worst four years of everyone's life: high school. Remember senior privileges? Remember absolutely roasting your teachers any time they even slightly misspoke? Remember how hot it was when 16-year-old boys chewed tobacco and had that little faded ring on the back pocket of their jeans? Yeah, no, definitely, us either, we also think that's gross........ Laura's Artifacts When

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67:04

Digging Around (with Tamara Yajia)

Keeping Records ·

2022/03/25

No amount of explicit content warning could possibly prepare you for what happened when writer/actress Tamara Yajia stopped by the Keeping Records studio as our first in-studio guest. Producers and Headgum staff still traumatized, need time to process. We ask that you respect our privacy and we have no further comment at this time. Tam's Artifacts PEN15 episode, "Grammy" (2021 TV Episode) Smelling your tooth floss (Olfactory Sensation) Cheesecake Factory’s Chicken Madeira (Food) A first class

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72:50

Timelessly Cool (with Jill Gutowitz)

Keeping Records ·

2022/03/18

An episode that will undoubtedly be used as a resource on LGBTQIA+ allyship and gay rights manual for the alien species forever into the future. Writer and world's biggest and last remaining Pinkberry customer Jill Gutowitz stops by to explain to us (and the aliens) that adjusting a lesbian's clothing is actually a homophobic slur, how to get a boyfriend through AIM as a young closeted resident of New Jersey, and that the looks exchanged by hot young cheerleaders in an early aughts cinematic

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62:38

Hot Girls and Their Ugly Dogs (with Ashley Nicole Black)

Keeping Records ·

2022/03/11

This week on the pod, Caleb, Shelby, and Emmy-winning (!!!) writer/actress/comedian Ashley Nicole Black get into it. It = the best moments of the human experience, the things we should be most proud to show off to the aliens in space. It mostly = the 1997 ouevre My Best Friend's Wedding. They also get into the use of stalls vs. urinals, how to actually give someone a compliment without telling on yourself, and an absolutely harrowing tale from Caleb's dating life. Let this be a reminder to do a

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51:56

Truly No Worries

Keeping Records ·

2022/03/04

Live (not really!) from the brand new Headgum Studios (yes really!) it's everybody's favorite comedy/friendship duo Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein!!!! Our first in-studio episode has something for everyone: Caleb trying to cry on command and then blaming everyone else in the studio when he can't; Shelby revealing that God is her social media manager; the two of them reconciling after a near-show-ending fight about potato chip flavors; and Caleb's mom texting to ask a question that's been on all of

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57:13

It's Not Nothing (with Robby Hoffman)

Keeping Records ·

2022/02/25

What if we sent the absolute most unhinged takes on present-day society to the aliens on a Golden Record? Would it confuse them? Maybe make us seem wild and ungovernable? Or do they also think that only women and children should be allowed to wear flip flops and that all dogs should be kept outside? Those are the questions we reckon with on this week's episode with "small ex-Hasidic queer Jewish stand-up comedian, writer, and true original," Robby Hoffman. A must-listen, especially if you're an

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53:14

A Perfect Episode (with Brian Robert Jones)

Keeping Records ·

2022/02/18

Musician/producer Brian Robert Jones stops by the ~virtual~ Keeping Records studio to talk about what the kids mean when they say "throwing neck," TI-89 calculators, and his lifelong dream of performing live at KFC's Yum! Center in Louisville, KY. (Where, incidentally, Shelby thinks would be a cool place to lose your virginity.) The best part of this perfect episode is that there was not a single technical difficulty or internet connection issue and we all love recording podcasts remotely for

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78:07

Head Trauma Slay! (with Sarah Ramos)

Keeping Records ·

2022/02/11

This episode is mostly Caleb and Shelby singing along to their favorite songs. But they are at some point joined by actress, filmmaker, and amateur pop culture oracle Sarah Ramos, who has a long list of her fave pieces of modern civilization to send out to space (notably Taylor Swift's entire discography, RuPaul's drag race, and weed edibles). There's also a discussion of best practices for self-tapes, and how to avoid being embarrassed when someone walks in on you in the bathroom. Probably also

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67:32

The Yassification of Motherhood (with Ruby Caster)

Keeping Records ·

2022/02/04

Caleb and Shelby are joined by writer Ruby Caster to discuss how Ruby and Shelby can't read (bummer!!) and whether or not table-side Caesar salad preparation is inherently gay. They briefly touch on Ruby's Golden Record picks (which is incidentally the point of this show): romaine lettuce + parmesan cheese, the best band to have ever existed, and Midol, which Ruby attests is a miracle drug. Spoiler: it seems it is not. Ruby's Artifacts Caesar Salad from Bernie’s Restaurant in Williamsburg, BK

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63:31

That's Oral by the Way (with Maggie Winters)

Keeping Records ·

2022/01/28

Comedian Maggie Winters joins Caleb and Shelby for their second video episode, which devolves into chaos after a game of f*ck, marry, kill. Shelby leaves the zoom but eventually returns. Caleb's tennis leg cramps? Back for a special appearance. Also, everybody learns what paramour means. Eventually they get to Maggie aka Marguerite's Golden Record, which is a blend of visuals and experiences the Aliens will love. On the topic of her Disney past, Caleb and Shelby ask the pointed but necessary

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