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PODCAST

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Tired of hearing “just put yourself out there” when it comes to friendship or community? Same.Friendship IRL is the podcast that skips the fluff and gets real about what it takes to build meaningful adult friendships and lasting support systems. Whether you"re struggling to make new friends, maintain old ones, or just want people in your life who really show up, you"re in the right place.Each week, host Alex Alexander brings you honest conversations and tangible strategies to help you connect—for

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All Episodes

63:57

Write Your Own Friendship Manual: Building Authentic...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/09/18

Have you ever felt like everyone but you received some kind of friend-making manual? Today’s guest, Lee Hopkins, is a social connections and business culture coach and CEO of Patterns of Possibility – but his journey to this work started with his own decades-long struggle. In this episode, Lee shares about navigating friendship after recently learning that he has autism, and how this revelation has impacted his relationships with friends, family, and ultimately, his way of life. L...

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26:26

How to Not Feel Neglected in Conversations with...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/09/11

It happens to all of us: you leave an interaction and realize the conversation was all about the other person. They didn’t ask a thing about you. Today’s episode is about feeling ignored in conversations with friends. In these situations, it’s easy to play the blame game, but the truth is, we are all responsible for our half of the connection. What do you say when a friend asks how you’re doing? Do you say “good” or “fine?” Or do you give an honest answer? How hard do we expect friends ...

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36:49

[REPLAY] The Enormous Impact of Small Intimacies

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/09/04

Sometimes to feel closer to our friends there’s this pressure to share our most vulnerable feelings or unearth some deep, dark secret. But what if I told you there are more ways to feel connected to our friends that are actually simpler, easier, and more common? That in fact, there are DOZENS of ways we’re trying to open up to each other, but because they’re not “big” shares, they’re often overlooked? I believe we are all missing out on small moments of connection with our friends, an...

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36:44

[REPLAY] You Say You Want a Village … But do you?

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/08/28

Your village is out there, waiting for you. It might even be knocking on your door, and you haven’t realized. People often think they need to make enormous shifts to find community; they need to move to a tiny village on the other side of the world or into a compound in the woods. But that’s not true. Here’s what you actually need: subtle shifts and a willingness to be uncomfortable. So many people talk about how they want a village, and yet, I see them rejecting the small changes...

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63:31

[REPLAY] Celebrating 100 Episodes – Plus, an...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/08/21

This whole podcast was only a dream a couple years ago, and here we are now with 100 episodes. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for sharing these conversations with your friends. In this episode, I share some life updates and talk intensely about the Wheel of Connection (view this visual diagram!), which is a foundational concept to my work. I give an overview about each of the categories, and at the end of the episode, I talk about how to do a basic Wheel of Connection audit.&nbs...

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47:00

[REPLAY] Digging Into the 3 Kinds of Friendship Roots

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/08/14

About three years ago, many of my friends moved away within a six month period. While I was excited for these friends, I also grieved; my friends are my main support system, my family. How would I keep these friendships alive? I invested a lot of energy into thinking about it, through which I developed what I’m tentatively calling the “Your People” framework. The best way to think about this framework is to imagine a tree. Trees start as seeds, and then you provide them with nutrients and s...

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21:55

[REPLAY] What Is A Friend? And the 4 Types of Friends...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/08/07

[REPLAY] FOUNDATIONAL FRIENDSHIP IRL EPISODE This month, I’m replaying four episodes that I consider FOUNDATIONAL to understanding all other Friendship IRL episodes. These are the episodes that break down the frameworks and mindset shifts you need to build the connections you want. EPISODE DESCRIPTION Today’s foundational episode tackles this ONE question: What is a friend, really? A lot of people are walking through life focusing on what isn’t there when it comes to friendship. There...

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23:53

Reframing the Idea of “Quality” in Friendship

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/07/24

Quality over quantity – you’ve probably heard this phrase when it comes to friendship, right? So many of us strive for a few “quality” all-encompassing friendships, thinking that’s better than having lots of less intimate friends. But is that way of thinking actually limiting us? There will be times in your life – maybe as a new parent, or after a loss – when you’ll gravitate toward the friends who can relate to your situation, even if they’re not those “quality” all-encompassing friends. Som...

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22:22

The Surprising Benefits of a Friendship Pause

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/07/17

Picture this: you're staring at a text thread with your friend, and you realize you've had the same argument three times the past month. You love this person … but right now, you kind of can't stand them. Today, we're talking about friendship pauses. Let me be clear: this isn't ghosting, breaking up, the silent treatment, or a passive-aggressive power move. A friendship pause is an intentional choice to create space to reflect, make changes, and do some individual growth. Here’s the cav...

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63:24

Social Engineering Your Way Into Friendship, From...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/07/10

Have you ever moved somewhere new and felt like you were on the outside looking in? This was Charlotte Massey when she moved to Seattle in the midst of the pandemic, when making friends was borderline impossible. Instead of accepting isolation, she got strategic about it. We’re taking friend-dating spreadsheets and sales funnel approaches. Charlotte is the executive director for the Seattle chapter of the U.S. Chamber of Connection, a new civic organization tackling the loneliness epidemic, a...

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36:59

All About Fringe Friends

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/07/03

Have you ever felt like you were the “extra invite?” The “filler friend?” The friend who gets invited to the big events but never the intimate gatherings? There are lots of reasons people find themselves in this position. Maybe a big life change has altered friend dynamics; maybe you’re just in a totally new friendship group. But maybe you’re also exhibiting behaviors that are keeping you on the fringe. If you want deeper friendships and to be part of more intimate gatherings, you can c...

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52:38

Being a Social Artist and Why Friendship Deserves Its...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/06/26

There are songs about romantic heartbreak, but where are the songs about losing a friend who meant EVERYTHING to you? That’s what Leila Six and I want to know. Today’s guest, Leila Six, is a singer-songwriter who is asking the hard questions about friendship in her music, using art to contribute to a culture that values all kinds of love, not just the romantic kind. In this episode, we dive deep on why friendship deserves its own soundtrack, how art can help us process complex emotions, and w...

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60:54

Navigating the Great Friendship Shift with Ericka Parker

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/06/19

A few years ago, five sets of my friends moved away within a six-month period. These people were my emergency contacts, the people I did Sunday dinners with. I was devastated. This isn’t a unique experience; it often happens to people in their late 20s and early 30s, when life paths start to diverge. Friends get married and have kids. They travel the world and pursue their careers. The friendships start to feel different. I call this phenomenon the great friendship shift, which I talk about t...

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32:26

The Spectrum of Digital Connection, From “Likes” to...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/06/12

The other day I was telling a friend about my goal to be better about responding to text messages in a more timely manner. My friend agreed: this was something I needed to work on! And this was fair. Other friends have called me out on this, too. But after recent episodes about virtual communities, parasocial relationships, and online friendship, it hit me that I’m not actually bad at ALL digital connection; I’m just drawn to certain types. In today’s episode, I delve into the spectrum ...

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58:53

Making Friends Online with Minded Society Co-Founders...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/05/29

In the past few episodes, I’ve talked about keeping in touch with friends through the digital space. This episode goes a step further: how do you MAKE friends online? Today’s guests are Claudia and Marcela, the mother-daughter duo behind the Minded Society, which offers a supportive virtual environment for women in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, with monthly events, book clubs, and personalized connections, helping members find authentic friendships across distances. We dive into everything, ...

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36:41

Are Online Friends REAL Friends? (Hint: YES!)

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/05/22

Are online friends REAL friends? I’m not talking about parasocial relationships, which are one-sided relationships; I’m talking about people you’ve had conversations with, people who know things about you. My personal opinion is that they most certainly are. In this episode, I talk in-depth about the difference between my friends I met in person and the friends I met online. I combat some of the pushback people have against people you meet online and highlight some of the benefits of on...

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47:17

Using Parasocial Relationships as a Bridge For Real...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/05/15

The term ‘parasocial relationship’ was coined in the 1950s by American sociologists Donald Horton and Richard Wohl to describe how people connected with TV personalities at the time. Today, parasocial relationships have expanded to include celebrities, influencers, athletes – even podcast hosts! Social media in particular has taken parasocial relationships to a new level; it blows my mind how much I know about some people I’ve never met. In this episode, I talk all about the paras...

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52:57

Using Data to Manage the Friendship Mental Load With...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/05/08

When was the last time you just called a friend because you wanted to talk? We carry these super computers in our pockets, but sometimes, using them to stay in touch feels more complicated than ever. There are some people we can ring spontaneously. Others require multiple rounds of scheduling. This episode is about the gap between wanting to stay connected and actually doing it. Today’s guest Mark Houghton, doesn’t just relate to this problem; he decided to solve it by creating the SoonCall a...

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69:07

How Deep Friendship Can Impact Radical Change with...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/05/01

Sometimes friendship can be a powerful force for social and political change. This is according to today’s guest, Priya Vulchi, author of the newly-released (and AMAZING!) Good Friends: Bonds That Change Us and the World, which offers a resounding cry that friendship is vital, not just for individual well-being, but for humanity itself. Priya is the co-founder of the nonprofit, Choose; was the youngest TED resident ever; has been published in places like The New York Times and Time Magazine; ...

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68:31

Super Psyched: The 4 Types of Connection We All Need...

Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship,... ·

2025/04/17

Have you ever stopped to think about what connection actually IS? How do you define the multi-faceted thing that we talk about all the time on this podcast? That’s what our guest, Dr. Adam Dorsay, is tasked with in this episode. Dr. Dorsay is a licensed psychologist, executive coach to high-achieving adults in Silicon Valley, host of the award-winning podcast, Super Psyched, and presenter of two amazing TEDx Talks. Today he discusses his new book, Super Psyched: Unleash The Power ...

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165 results

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