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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”

comedy improv

All Episodes

102:20

312: Elizabeth?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/07/31

Back on black cohosh, we have a new baby, this weekend was scary and we need a carpenter. Childhood photos, cannibal sandwiches, humans are still a disappointment and protect the geniuses. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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126:31

311: Golden River

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/07/24

Crystal got her hair done and a new piercing, 4loko cans are a warning, thrift prices are disrespectful and Pat got some bad news. Don’t puke in the sink, avoid mud while on adventures, cops shouldn’t be hitting anyone and Peez is in love. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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141:55

310: A Sad Origin Story

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/07/17

Things are getting better, Peez is hoarding, OCD just doesn’t make sense and farewell Great America. Crystal is still terrorizing Pat’s dreams, Trump didn’t get shot, uniqueness reigns supreme and there’s been a lot of crazy news. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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119:20

309: 309 - What Binders?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/07/09

Pat is playing referee, Sunday was a flop, Crystal has been writing and was asked to babysit. RIP Amanda, no more pets, random singing and our government lies in our face. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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99:12

308: A Summer Treat

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/07/03

RIP Antonio, we’re sweaty, Pat’s back is broken and CA has some new laws. Don’t get fake abs, change your towels out, OCD sometimes promotes good habits and billionaires aren’t good people. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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124:15

307: Not Everyone Gets A Sandwich

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/06/27

Weekend unboxing, Bunny’s birthday, a fire scare and old Italian tradition. A close call, don’t let your kids join the military, messy true crime and some people are only for a season.For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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89:44

306: Bonsai

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/06/19

RIP Uncle Jimmy, Father's Day was cute, is WW3 happening and is MAGA waking up? Some people don’t deserve fans, WWF wrestling was NUTS, the government is experimenting on our brains and we’re really out of shape. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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108:50

305: Geriatric Prostitute

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/06/12

Antique water heater for sale, Crystal did Zumba, Kaitlyn’s return and unicorn searches. Bloody boots, we’re really sweaty, new teeth option and FCK ICE. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

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135:15

304: Are They Cigaretting?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/06/05

It’s 304 day, pride and men’s mental health awareness month! A busy weekend, Filipino karaoke and Crystal thinks she’s a poet. The boycotts aren’t over, don’t parasail alone and missing teeth can be hot. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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107:42

303: Don't Tell My Family

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/05/29

Pat really likes her doctor, always kiss the judge’s a*s, root canals are bad for you and Peez is outta control. Comedy show update, tired of the credit score game, Crystal is still talking to strangers and irrational fears are crippling. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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128:00

302: Take The Scissors

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/05/22

It’s Stevi and Pat’s birthday, mammograms aren’t that bad, Crystal gave herself a haircut and Pat is warming up to animals. Eat better for your health, is Annabelle causing chaos, parenting is sometimes self healing and bring back MTV. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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93:39

301: That's Horny Time

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/05/15

Mother’s Day recap, Pat had a busy weekend, new possible beauty treatment and Crystal has an unwanted admirer. Miss Piggy was not ok, Pat is being set up, trust your kid’s intuition and family can get cut off too. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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84:01

300: We Both Got Gems

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/05/09

Avon is mysteriously at CVS, Pat is having some scary stuff, we have matching jewels and need to stop speaking things into existence. Crystal has been sad, always get the money FIRST, ghosts are active and there’s a new true crime show to binge. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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101:30

299: You're No Good

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/05/01

Pat had another dream about Crystal, shopping with Carolyn is always fun, the impending doom of having something to do and sometimes our bodies are against us. Do you believe in reincarnation? The only cool thing about a Tesla, no white shoes and an update on piss over ice. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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103:22

298: Wiener Reset

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/04/24

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111:27

297: I Know Better Than You

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/04/17

Crystal has lips, Pata Fria had a lonely weekend, Tahoe was turnt and merch is on the way. Surgery is coming up, Pata Fria wants an old school, catch our live streams on Patreon and Elephants are really amazing. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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137:23

296: Use It Or Lose It

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/04/10

The cats are in big trouble, Pata Fria is being humbled, Crystal made a medical device and all our kids are unique. Ghosts are acting up, our government is starting a lot of problems, men shouldn’t be gynecologists and don’t date violent people. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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131:39

295: Never Knew A F*ck

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/04/04

We’re redecorating the set, Crystal finally dissolved her lips, medication adjustments are still happening and influenza is around again. Crystal had a kind exchange, Pata Fria is planning a vacation, the raccoons are getting too comfortable and Jimbo will always do the most.

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104:25

294: Vaginal Water Gun

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/03/27

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94:49

293: Where's My Provider Lesbian?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/03/20

Itsnotreal is a terrorist state, Home Depot was not welcoming to Pat, don’t trust raggedy dentist offices and Crystal had a really close call. Going to sleep is embarrassing, sometimes you have to parent the parents, Crystal is in the Mandela effect and do not play about your credit. For bonus episodes and early releases join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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