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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

A raw and hilarious dive into current events, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, navigating mental illness, gossip, and the political dumpster fire we’re all forced to live in.

comedy improv

All Episodes

140:02

S2 Ep345: Granny Pants ft Elrod (@mexakitsch)

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/04/02

Welcome Elrod!! The exhilaration of a thrift score, Pat’s grown woman foot, moving to the Bay Area and understanding that failure is a lesson. Creating an arsenal of skills, serious table setting, the two rules of life and exercise your mental muscle! ❤️ Follow Elrod at Instagram.com/mexakitsch Mexakitsch.comInternationaltablesettingassociation.orgFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on

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90:54

S2 Ep344: Slight Flare ft Kris Staxx

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/03/26

Welcome Kris Staxx! Our kids are our biggest haters, the private school experience, square up and Juice Week pt 2. Hit a parlay, waiting in lines for shoes, dating as an older adult and lock up false accusers.❤️ Follow Kris at Instagram.com/krisstaxxFor weekly bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Submit your

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50:29

S2 Ep343: Freaky Furs ft Deltrice

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/03/19

Welcome Deltrice! RIP Myspace, St. Patrick’s ugly history, prayers for Lev and DJ Fresh’s keen intuition. Growing up with a natural gift, the introduction of Bella, hometown respect and Vegas pt 2 with cat and fox.

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78:38

S2 Ep342: Horny Poetry ft Miss Ashleigh

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/03/12

Welcome Miss Ashleigh! Great minds think alike, growing up in the country, ancestry surprises and psychology studies. Radio shows, spoken word, navigating the mental side of sw and some cool prison stories. For bonus episodes, HD chat, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

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99:54

S2 Ep341: Woman of Leisure ft Sexy Nelly

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/03/05

Welcome Nelly! Gas station hostage, sickness is going around, intro to the game and girls are sexualized EARLY. Always trust your gut, spicy online content, working for a service and something to give you nightmares. ❤️ Follow Nelly at Instagram.com/sexynellyy For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Submit your

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69:48

S2 Ep340: Three Day Run

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/02/26

Been a busy girl, unexpected visitor, great Bay Area representation and Gavin should stop talking. A local kidnapping, pray for Mexico, RIP PeeWee and don’t be rich and play poor. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

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120:36

S2 Ep339: Rub Maps

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/02/19

Welcome Alyssa! We love good maintenance, are women the gross ones, men will do anything and a provider does not want your man. Don't discuss too much on the phone, creative new services, huge dad nightmares and a story of survival. 🩷 Follow Alyssa at Cry Baby Pampering Instagram.com/crybabypampering For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG:

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104:12

S2 Ep338: Not Mething Around

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/02/11

Welcome Jose! Super Bowl weekend , fold your clothes, we don’t understand numbers and college is hard. Neighbors being ridiculous, driving ticket tips, Kraft singles and surprise chili dogs. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

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106:50

S2 Ep337: Not My Stud

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/02/05

Meet niece Jaymee, another earthquake, testing Pat’s memory and 2026 is not being nice. Eat the rich, Elon is humiliating, Blueface is back and stop hiding the aliens!For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafriaInstagram.com/crystaldamato21Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

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68:39

S2 Ep336: “It’s Me….Hello”

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/01/29

It’s been a rough week, neurodivergent headquarters, rethinking barber school and congratulations to raffle winners LUVY and TESSA JENKINS!! TikTok is cooked, give back plastic bags, sneaky workplace fun and inappropriate grandmas. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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120:13

335: Boston Beckham

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/01/22

Crystal is doing better, guest episodes are coming, Happy Birthday Stinkers and Xmas is gone. Congratulations Rubi Ro and Carmen, it costs more to be left handed, boy moms strike again and a viral snack worth trying. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafriaInstagram.com/crystaldamato21Submit your

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95:04

334: Jacosta

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/01/10

Peez is a feisty old woman, Pat’s been cooking, Crystal made a mistake and hands off Venezuela. Abolish ICE, new holsters, a surprise protein source and stay away from mad scientists. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon!Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube!https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunctionFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafriaInstagram.com/crystaldamato21Submit your questions/stories:

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81:15

333: Happy New Year 2026

Hello Dysfunction ·

2026/01/01

Nice coats, big cleaning plans, NYE traditions and prime thrifting. School for fun, Mochi is innocent, give us our plastic bags and the United States is an ATM.For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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122:36

332: A Christmas Miracle

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/12/28

Disclaimer: we’ve experienced some technical difficulties this week so our apologies for the sound quality!! They have since been corrected so next week will be great! Christmas is over, the best neighbor is gone, Crystal scored on marketplace and warn your kids before their toys pee. Mochi might be up for adoption, buy your sons baby dolls, magas had a rough week and Crystal invented new nachos. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction

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93:20

331: Crazy As A Betsy Bug

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/12/18

Pat is sick, telepathy is real, it’s ok to be a gremlin and the holiday party was LOVE. Christmas can be every day, let’s play QVC, POTUS finds a new low and perimenopause changes your senses! For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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102:51

330: Do A Bump

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/12/12

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127:50

329: Dirty White Gremlin

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/12/05

Celebs will always let you down, don’t claim to be native unless you have proof, the holiday party is almost here and increase pay for all teachers! Cats speak English, Pat the barber, above average social skills and let’s be ants. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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87:04

328: The San Francisco Treat

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/11/28

The holidays are here, eat some weevils, we love a mullet and Zach had a nice breakfast. Crystal had an oops, there’s something strange in the neighborhood, don’t flush honeydew and no more Campbell’s soup!For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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113:14

327: AC Transit Belt

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/11/20

Get your Holiday Hangout tickets, old episodes are crazy, Crystal loves dirty bears and grief is weird. Growing up without parents is hard, don’t gamble with Pat, some kids need hit and shoplifting class. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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132:24

326: Christmas Committee

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/11/15

Earthquake! Happy Birthday Carolyn, we had a garage sale and no more pennies. Teeth are a luxury, Christmas is cancelled, churches aren’t walking the walk and art theft is so lazy. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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348 results

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