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PODCAST

Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction

Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more. “Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”

comedy improv

All Episodes

93:20

331: Crazy As A Betsy Bug

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/12/18

Pat is sick, telepathy is real, it’s ok to be a gremlin and the holiday party was LOVE. Christmas can be every day, let’s play QVC, POTUS finds a new low and perimenopause changes your senses! For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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102:51

330: Do A Bump

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/12/12

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127:50

329: Dirty White Gremlin

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/12/05

Celebs will always let you down, don’t claim to be native unless you have proof, the holiday party is almost here and increase pay for all teachers! Cats speak English, Pat the barber, above average social skills and let’s be ants. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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87:04

328: The San Francisco Treat

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/11/28

The holidays are here, eat some weevils, we love a mullet and Zach had a nice breakfast. Crystal had an oops, there’s something strange in the neighborhood, don’t flush honeydew and no more Campbell’s soup!For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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113:14

327: AC Transit Belt

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/11/20

Get your Holiday Hangout tickets, old episodes are crazy, Crystal loves dirty bears and grief is weird. Growing up without parents is hard, don’t gamble with Pat, some kids need hit and shoplifting class. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join us on Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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132:24

326: Christmas Committee

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/11/15

Earthquake! Happy Birthday Carolyn, we had a garage sale and no more pennies. Teeth are a luxury, Christmas is cancelled, churches aren’t walking the walk and art theft is so lazy. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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85:05

325: Wiener War

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/11/07

Happy Birthday Will! Crystal is in disguise, daylight savings is whooping us and poor people can scam. We’re only good at war, push kids to learn phonics, Aileen didn’t get a fair trial and Crystal snuck off to the movies. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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139:24

324: Grandpa Stew

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/11/01

Marysville is different, we’ve been mispronouncing words, turn off automatic braking and we want women drivers. Pat made a calm down corner, ghosts are attention seeking, don’t shop this holiday season and what did YOU take for show and tell? For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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124:45

323: I Don't Got The Spirit

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/10/24

The universe said Pat’s been too happy, people have been mean to Crystal, Blueface is possibly Pat’s soulmate and Peez dances to her own drum. Don’t knock b*tches at the gym, get your merch while you can, protect your neighbors and you can’t pray away mental illness. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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104:28

322: Those Are Garfield's Words

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/10/15

Happy 7 years, Columbus Day my *ss, sunglasses at the gym and no more jean jackets? White dog poop, nostalgic snacks, some new bills and separate beds. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories: hellodysfunctionpodcast.com

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128:15

321: He Had Pony Tails

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/10/10

Teach your kids to keep their hands to themselves, Crystal had an awkward encounter, Peez taught herself piano and Happy Birthday Kandi! We miss churro cheesecake, don’t scam people with photoshop, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and we’re making ourselves impatient. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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120:56

320: In Women's Business

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/10/02

Don’t copy Peez’ mom, Crystal misses Jnco’s, the daytime isn’t so bad and today is Orange Shirt Day. Spumoni is a top tier dessert, let people wear what they want, sometimes you have to tattoo your face and some celebrities don’t deserve anyone’s attention. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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126:59

319: More Nightmares

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/09/27

Earthquakes and indecisive weather, dreaming of scams, Bay Area crime cases and some good Facebook drama. An interesting theory on soulmates, Peez is a baker, did Crystal have an animal returned, and the rapture was rescheduled. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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120:22

318: I Step On Men

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/09/19

Crystal had big feet, Pat is a fitness girly, Mochi had an adventure and Peez’ teacher messed up. Book club ideas, horrible unsolved murders, the U.S. is under occupation and free speech is a thing of the past. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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106:35

317: I Feel Like Ozzy

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/09/12

Nice Crystal’s dead, Pat’s having weird dreams again, a mystery tea set and a new P.O. Box. Sharing symptoms is rude, Peez had the best birthday ever, karma comes for everyone and the Pata Fria curse is brutal. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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145:22

316: BPD Is A Great Thing

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/09/05

First day of school again, bathroom residents, Crystal has a wound and we’ll finally get some relief. Pat has a dad Crystal has a mom, Unknown Caller was wild, mental illness has it’s perks and Aunt Deb is running out of patience. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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103:20

315: Montel, I'm Mad At You

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/08/28

Don’t waste your bangs, escape rooms are fun, always shop with a list and cries without tears are a tell. Did we love a fraud? Men need to step it up, kids need grit and Crystal is losing her mind. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your

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132:04

314: MARK, Get In Here

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/08/22

Peez started kindergarten, Crystal had a relaxing birthday, perimenopause is killing us and sometimes you need to be a Karen. Common courtesy is dead, more extreme body mods, don't stiff nice servers or put out cigarettes on the windows. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction

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158:09

313: You Better Run

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/08/15

Happy Anniversary, Mexico was eventful, Crystal is not a traveler and Peez is a sour patch kid. Pat doesn’t own a mop, school is starting, no toilet services, and no more missionaries. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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102:20

312: Elizabeth?

Hello Dysfunction ·

2025/07/31

Back on black cohosh, we have a new baby, this weekend was scary and we need a carpenter. Childhood photos, cannibal sandwiches, humans are still a disappointment and protect the geniuses. For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon! Patreon.com/hellodysfunction Subscribe and watch on YouTube! https://youtube.com/@hellodysfunction Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/hellodysfunction Instagram.com/lurkpatafria Instagram.com/crystaldamato21 Submit your questions/stories:

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