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PODCAST

Black and White and Gold

Carly and Rob Allred

Deep conversations are a whole love language, and we"re going there! Talking about many different topics, from the mundane to the taboo--we"ll make it complicated, we"ll hopefully create a little empathy and decrease judgment of others along the way. blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

56:15

Episode 49 - Double Standards

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/09/11

Ah, the double-standard. The way the double-standards play out in a patriarchy are part of the reason we still uphold it. Because…let’s be honest…everyone benefits somehow. I know, I know…that’s not what we want to hear, and maybe there are things I’m missing (spoiler alert: there definitely are), but there are ways people of all genders benefit from a patriarchal system. It just prioritizes men. and further than that, a very particular type of man—what is that type of man, you ask? It depends on

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43:45

Episode 48 - What impact does patriarchy have on the...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/09/04

EDIT: Rebecca’s new book, Raising Trans Kids: What to Expect When You Weren’t Expecting This is available to purchase. You can also purchase/donate through her website (linked below), with the option of purchasing to donate to a family or community in need. We also recommend you ask your local library to purchase a copy for community use (I did this morning, and it took be about 3 minutes to request, and about an hour for them to confirm the purchase is in the works…Mid-Columbia Libraries in

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46:39

Episode 48 - "Then I Shall Partake" - Carly's Story

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/08/28

Flipping the tables on Carly this time…Rob asks all the questions without any heads-up on what they are. This is a raw, emotional take on that current moment of Carly’s story as she begins to see patriarchal structures for what they are—and how that changed literally everything. For those who grew up being taught a more egalitarian way, it may be foreign to see how some of us struggle to understand the dynamics…but when you have never seen or heard of other options, it’s nearly impossible to feel

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49:09

Episode 46 - Pssst: Patriarchy Hurts Men, Too - with...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/08/21

I had it in my mind that I wanted to interview Valerie Hamaker of Latter Day Struggles, but was torn between talking about faith crisis for Season 2, or patriarchy for Season 3. When she offered to meet with us in the wake of their resignation from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I knew it needed to be about patriarchy…as it’s fingers were all over their story, and the faith crisis/transition narrative tells itself. Valerie is a brilliant and humble woman with deep love for the

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64:12

Episode 45 - When Barbie Takes us to School

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/08/14

Did the Barbie movie make you angry? Cringe? Did you think it was funny, but not at all a message? Were you even willing to watch it? We’d love to hear your take on it! Join us in the chat…This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

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59:50

Episode 44 - What is Patriarchy, and Why Do We Care?

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/08/09

Season 3 is here!In this episode, we delve into the complex topic of patriarchy, exploring its definitions, manifestations, and implications in society. We discuss the importance of understanding patriarchy not just as a system that is inherent to benefits men, but as a structure that can be harmful to all genders. The conversation highlights the need for self-reflection and engagement in discussions about gender roles, representation, and the impact of patriarchal systems on individuals and

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80:52

Episode 43 - Where Personal and Family Spirituality...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/07/17

In this episode, we dive into the intricate tapestry of family dynamics and religious expectations with Carly’s cousin-in-law (that’s a thing…promise), Abbie. Abbie shares her personal journey of navigating her upbringing within the church, the challenges of balancing personal beliefs with familial expectations, and the profound impact these experiences have had on her family life. Join us as we explore the complexities of faith, identity, and the courage it takes to forge one's own path. This

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56:55

Episode 42 - Stages of Faith Crisis and the Cycle of...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/06/26

Our last episode of the official Season 2! We will be back again with weekly episodes starting on August 7.We are looking to interview experts in the different aspects of patriarchal systems…know someone? Send them our info. We’d love to chat!This Substack is reader-supported. To receive new posts and support our work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.LDS Faith Crisis Report PDF (complete)Includes the graphs we reference throughout:* GRAPH 1: Faith Crisis Stages (from the report linked

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61:11

Episode 41 - When Mental Health is Intertwined with...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/06/19

Get full access to Black and White and Gold at blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com/subscribe

en

54:26

Episode 40 - Acting with Integrity - with guest...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/06/12

SummaryIn this conversation, Trevor McGinty shares his journey of faith transition, detailing his upbringing in the church, experiences during his mission, and the challenges faced in his marriage and family life. He discusses the complexities of church leadership interactions, the expectations of church involvement, and the personal struggles that led to questioning his faith and the church's history. Trevor's story highlights the importance of personal growth, community, and the search for

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72:38

Episode 39 - Discovering Spiritual Authority - with...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/06/05

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

en

53:17

Episode 38 - Speaking Across the Divide - with Emilie...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/05/29

As we sat down with Emilie and Ashlie, it was like talking to old friends. Never mind that Emilie and Carly grew up in the same valley at the same time, several parts of all of our stories had intersecting points. In this conversation, we explore the intersection of personal growth, faith, and LGBTQ+ experiences. We discuss navigating relationships within the church and the evolution of understanding faith, highlighting how spirituality can be deeply personal and subjective. Ultimately, we find we

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59:45

Episode 37 - Breaking Free: Jehovah's Witness to...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/05/22

This conversation explores a conversation with Jason and Jennifer Shelton, our old neighbors. Jason grew up in the Jehovah's Witness faith and later left it, fell into addiction, and has emerged on the other side living a sober, family-filled, loving life. They discuss the challenges of growing up in a high-expectation religion, including the impact of shunning, the struggle for personal identity paired with the deep desire to maintain family relationships, and the journey towards sobriety and

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81:12

Episode 36 - From LDS to Pagan: Ancestral Connection...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/05/15

In this enlightening conversation, Jess Lee shares her journey of ancestral connection and spiritual identity, transitioning from her upbringing in the LDS faith to embracing a pagan belief system. The discussion explores the nuances of genealogy versus ancestral work, the importance of honoring one's ancestors, and the challenges of generational healing. Jess emphasizes the need for open communication and understanding in navigating faith transitions, while also celebrating the beauty of cultural

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67:54

Episode 35 - Finding God Within - with Emma Anne Tassey

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/05/08

Instagram: @theradicaltruthteller This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

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71:01

Episode 34 - Adventures with God, with Jess Berryhill

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/05/01

My experience with Jess began in 2006 when I met and taught her as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It’s been a wild ride ever since (and for Jess, before that, obv). But dang. This woman and her magic and power is incredible. Can’t wait to learn what you think about Jess’s story!Learn about Friendship House:www.thfriendshiphouse.org Follow Jess on Instagram This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus

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53:14

Episode 33 - Coming Out to Move Forward - with Kylee...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/04/24

Part 2 of 2 with Kylee MollotteIt’s easy to armchair quarterback someone else’s life. But how often do we consider what it actually looks like to be in their shoes?Maybe we should try a bit harder in that space. K, love your buns.Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

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64:04

Episode 32 - When Coming Out Simultaneously Ruins and...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/04/17

Imagine growing up in an idyllic small town, with cousins and siblings aplenty, then you grow up, move out, marry to an NFL player, and settle down in a brand new house in a perfect neighborhood, where by all appearances, you have the perfect life.What could possibly go wrong? Turns out a lot, when your whole identity is based on a lie. Find out in this episode what happens when Kylee finally comes out to herself and the way she coped as her marriage crumbled and she was left with rubble.Stick

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40:16

Episode 31 - What's the Difference Between Religion...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/04/10

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit blackandwhiteandgold.substack.com

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57:14

Episode 30 - It's Complicated (But Beautiful) - with...

Black and White and Gold ·

2025/04/03

Norma Thomas’s story weaves in all the layers of duality, creating the most beautiful mix of everything, which is apropos for this woman. She is a force of nature, and her story is continually unfolding. Thanks for reading! This post is public so feel free to share it.Thanks for reading! Subscribe for free to receive new posts and support our work. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit

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