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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

20:50

Catactegenys, the Crushing Jaw

Paleo Bites ·

2025/07/01

(image source: http://bit.ly/4kjy8Dk)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Catactegenys, a type of night lizard, which is a group still alive today BUUUUT there’s a really big and exciting study about them involving the big meteor that killed the dinosaurs so it counts. I make the rules! From the Late Cretaceous to the Late Holocene (i.e., right now), this family of squamate reptiles might have been the only terrestrial vertebrates to survive in the vicinity of the Chicxulub

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29:56

Shuvuuia, the Mongolian Bird

Paleo Bites ·

2025/06/24

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Shuvuuia-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Jaymes Buckman and their boyfriend Toby discuss Shuvuuia, the tiny, quirky desert-dwelling dino-bird-thing that proves you don’t need claws, wings, or teeth to be iconic, just a good sense of direction and a thirst for termites. Yum. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot alvarezsaurid scurried through the Mongolian night with killer hearing and night vision like the prehistoric version of a goth

en

19:39

Gallimimus, the Chicken Mimic

Paleo Bites ·

2025/06/17

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/gallimimus-paleoart-by-me--236087205460103553/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gallimimus, a classic dinosaur and pioneer of the visual effects industry… at least for us humans. I doubt it dabbled in any visual effects work itself. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot ornithomimosaur had its big scene in Jurassic Park where it ran in glorious early 90s CGI and revolutionized filmmaking to the woes of anti-CGI film bros

en

21:47

Enhydriodon, the Otter Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2025/06/10

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/676736281530757612/)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Enhydriodon, a giant species of otter that you really otter avoid. That’s the kind of humor you should expect on this show. I truly can’t believe we’re nearing 300 episodes. From the Early Pliocene, this 7-foot mustelid was believed to be mostly terrestrial but very comfortable in the water, akin to the tigers of today. So it’s an otter not in the water? What’s the otter with

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21:48

Megantereon, the Giant Beast

Paleo Bites ·

2025/06/03

(image source: https://newdinosaurs.com/megantereon/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Megantereon, a fairly typical saber-toothed cat with one major claim to fame in that we have direct evidence of it hunting early humans, so any time you think there’s danger in the darkness, you can thank this guy for instilling that instinct into you. Thanks, Megantereon! I really appreciate running upstairs after turning off the basement lights so the Shadow Figure doesn’t get me;

en

22:35

Scleromochlus, the Hard Limb

Paleo Bites ·

2025/05/27

(image source: https://prehistoria.fandom.com/es/wiki/Scleromochlus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Scleromochlus, a cute little dude with absolutely nothing remarkable about it on its own and is more interesting in what it evolved into; this guy was in fact an early ancestor of the pterosaurs! Celebrate, all ye boring people, in that eventually you might have more interesting descendents. From the Early Triassic, this 8-inch pterosauromorph archosaur had freakishly long

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21:05

FUCA, the First Universal Common Ancestor

Paleo Bites ·

2025/05/20

(image source: https://medium.com/@smartap3s/luca-and-fuca-our-great-great-great-grandmas-7880b0950e53) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-hosts Jennifer Grossman and Matt’s niece Logan (against his will) discuss FUCA, the original, original life before even LUCA was a thing, which I also covered with Jennifer about two hundred episodes earlier. From the Early Precambrian, this non-cellular entity was actually quite different from LUCA, in that while the latter had cells and enzymes and other biology

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19:52

Dromaeosaurus, the Running Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2025/05/13

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dromaeosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Dromaeosaurus, the namesake of the dromaeosaur family that are more commonly known as “raptors.” Which means Velociraptor is more the namesake of the family, but I’m talking scientifically! “Uh, actually, they’re not raptors, they’re dromaeosaurs.” Gee, thanks, Kyle. From the Late Cretaceous, this 7-foot coelurosaurian theropod had a much stronger bite than Velociraptor by a

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19:44

Smok, the Polish Dragon

Paleo Bites ·

2025/05/06

(image source: https://alchetron.com/Smok-(archosaur)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Smok, a basal archosaur that looks like a dinosaur but apparently is not. Look, it looks like one to me, but I ain’t no scientist. You should listen to them instead of this dumb show. From the Late Triassic, this 20-foot reptile was one of the top predators of its day and one of the largest of its time, facing off against the elephant-sized dicynodont Lisowicia while avoiding the

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32:15

Dinocrocuta, the Terrible Hyena

Paleo Bites ·

2025/04/29

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dinocrocuta by Dmitry Bogdanov) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Dinocrocuta, which is not an awesome dinosaur/crocodile hybrid like the name suggests but is instead some lame hyena thing. Oh wait, it’s actually a fricking enormous hyena thing? Eh, it’s still not as cool as a dinocroc. From the Late Miocene, this 7-foot hyena thing had a bone-crushing bite and fought off saber-toothed cats like Amphimachairodus, which is pretty

en

21:14

Kunpengopterus, the Kunpeng Wing

Paleo Bites ·

2025/04/22

(image source: https://marchan-forest.blogspot.com/2021/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O’Regan discuss Kunpengopterus, a monkey-like pterosaur in that it had opposable thumbs, which is pretty cool I gotta say. There’s no joke there, I genuinely think that’s cool. From the Late Jurassic, this 3-foot wukongopterid was first thought to be just a run-of-the-mill pterodactyloid before the aforementioned thumbs were discovered, and then scientists got all giddy and it got popular again! A

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17:13

Compsognathus, the Elegant Jaw

Paleo Bites ·

2025/04/15

(image source: https://ar.inspiredpencil.com/pictures-2023/compsognathus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Compsognathus, famously the smallest dinosaur of all but not so famously actually not the smallest dinosaur of all anymore, not even close. It’s been working out, getting yoked and stuff. From the Late Jurassic, this 4.5 foot theropod is now believed to not be part of its own little weird family but closer related to the megalosaurids and might even be even bigger

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20:33

Elasmotherium, the Plated Beast

Paleo Bites ·

2025/04/08

(image source: https://newdinosaurs.com/elasmotherium/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jaymes Buckman discuss Elasmotherium, a woolly rhino that’s not the Woolly Rhino but is woolly and is a rhino, so call it whatever you want I guess. From the late Pleistocene, this 18-foot rhinoceratid came equipped with a seriously metal nose horn coming out of its face. Except not literally metal, as like modern rhinos its horn was mainly made out of hair. Isn’t explaining jokes the best? Want to further

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23:00

Homo sapiens, the Intelligent Man

Paleo Bites ·

2025/04/01

(image source: https://www.publicdomainpictures.net/) April Fools, puny humans! Host Emperor Splozzitrox, Supreme Ruler of the Planet Zurkabong, and co-host Karzagloth, the underest of underlings, discuss Homo sapiens, the recently exterminated ground vermin that once overpopulated this hunk of space rock named Earth, a backwater planet in the Goozapeg Sector. From the Late Pleistocene to the Late Holocene, this 5-6 foot tall hominid may not have lived the longest, had the sharpest claws or teeth,

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19:53

Megalograptus, the Great Writing

Paleo Bites ·

2025/03/25

(image source: https://www.darwinsdoor.co.uk/timetour/the-ordovician-period.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Megalograptus, another nope of a creature but this time an ocean-bound nope, so it’s slightly more forgivable. Wait, I’ve just been told they can sometimes go onto land anyway? Nope, nope, NOPE! From the Late Ordovician, this 3-foot eurypterid got its bizarre name due to being mistaken for a group of animals whose remains looked like hieroglyphs embedded on

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22:31

Protoceratops, the First Horned Face

Paleo Bites ·

2025/03/18

(image source: https://www.thoughtco.com/things-to-know-protoceratops-1093796)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Protoceratops, a hardy and stocky fellow with a tubby body and a grumpy attitude. I really relate to this creature. From the Late Cretaceous, this 8-foot ceratopsian lived in the desert with the more famous Velociraptor and the two of them really hit it off. They couldn’t keep their claws or beaks off each other. I wonder if anyone’s captured their interactions on

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31:43

Appalachiosaurus, the Appalachian Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2025/03/11

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/347129083760903111/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Appalachiosaurus, a tyrannosaur living on the East Coast like some city slicker sellout. Never forget your Western roots here in Laramidia! Remember who you are! From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot theropod dinosaur is the only known dinosaur from its formation, as the fossils over there on the eastern side of North America aren’t really the best preserved. Those ice age

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31:56

Ceratosaurus, the Horned Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2025/03/04

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Ceratosaurus3_1b79.jpg)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Ceratosaurus, an almost-famous dinosaur that often gets overshadowed by Allosaurus, which gets overshadowed by Saurophaganax, which just recently got overshadowed again by Allosaurus because the latter is now unfortunately dubious. At least Ceratosaurus itself overshadows poor Torvosaurus. When’s the last time you heard that name? From the Late Jurassic, this 20-foot

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26:50

A. anax, the Usurper of Saurophaganax

Paleo Bites ·

2025/02/25

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Saurophaganax-Paul-Heaston1_2121.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Allosaurus anax, the new lord of the lizard eaters after supplanting the great and now dubious Saurophaganax after a hard-fought duel. There is truly no mercy sometimes in the battlefield of science. From the Late Jurassic, this 38-foot theropod was still basically everything we assumed Saurophaganax to be and therefore just as cool in a practical

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35:29

Temnodontosaurus, the Cutting-Tooth Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2025/02/18

(image source: https://artpictures.club/autumn-2023.html)Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Michele C. Hollow discuss Temnodontosaurus, a rather large marine reptile with potentially the largest eyes of any animal ever at 10 inches wide. Sheesh, my most impressive body part in terms of size is only half that length! From the Early Jurassic, this 30-foot ichthyosaur was discovered by Mary Anning back in the 1810s and was the first ichthyosaur to be scientifically described, which is a neat piece

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