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PODCAST

Your Secret Is Safe With Me

Dr. Marie Murphy

Dr. Marie Murphy talks about infidelity and other challenging relationship situations from a non-judgmental perspective. She shares practical tools and advice from her own coaching practice to help you make changes in your love life, and interviews professionals with complementary expertise, such as family law attorneys, mediators, non-violent communication specialists, and more. In addition, Marie discusses the social and historical context of romantic relationships to provide perspective on our

health & fitness sexuality

All Episodes

47:04

25. Financial Infidelity with Adam Kol

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/02/25

Money is a taboo subject in any situation—but when it comes to relationships, talking about finances can feel downright impossible. With financial stress being one of the top causes of divorce, it’s no wonder that most of us would rather avoid the topic altogether. But, according to Couples Financial Coach Adam Kol, skirting the conversation often only makes things worse. With years of experience helping couples sort out the messy details around love and money, Adam Kol will be the first to tell you

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48:48

24. All About Ashley Madison with Isabella Mise

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/02/18

Why do people cheat, and how has the COVID-19 pandemic changed infidelity? Is it even possible to have an affair during a pandemic? And, is honesty always the best policy? Perhaps the answer isn’t as straightforward as society likes to presume. During her time working at Ashley Madison, Isabella Mise has learned that where there’s a will there’s a way. She has gained fascinating insights from conversations with hundreds of members who use the site regularly. As she says, people have affairs for a

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29:53

23. Deciding to End a Commitment

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/02/11

What power do commitments hold over your life? Are they positive, negative, or something to fear? And, once you commit, do you feel like you have to stick with it, regardless of the cost? What if the price you pay is your own happiness? Commitments are highly valued in our society, and they can be a powerful tool to help us achieve our goals. But what if we’ve committed to an outdated version of our wants and needs? For many, commitments are seen as something we’re obliged to stick with, whether

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56:25

22. The Beauty of Conflict for Couples with CrisMarie...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/02/04

Most people don’t like conflict. In fact, many of us try to avoid it at all costs. When it comes to relationships, conflict is usually thought of as bad. But, what if conflict was actually a sign of a healthy relationship? CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke don’t shy away from conflict—in their relationship or in business. At their coaching and consulting company, Thrive! Inc., they encourage other couples, teams, and individuals to face their fears and break down the barriers to addressing healthy

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53:07

21. Shameless Sex with Amy Baldwin

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/01/28

There is often a lot of shame that comes with talking about sex. Am I sexy? Is my libido too high or too low? What if I can’t get my partner to orgasm? What if I can’t climax? Is it too kinky to introduce toys—or not kinky enough? Amy Baldwin deals with a lot of shame in her work as a sex educator and coach. But, she doesn’t think we should shy away from these intrusive thoughts; in fact, she says that ignoring our insecurities will only cause them to eventually bubble to the surface. Instead, Amy’s

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23:55

20. If You've Cheated on Your Partner, Do You Have to...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/01/21

Here’s a tricky question: should you tell your partner if you’ve cheated on them? While many people believe that there is a simple “yes” or “no” answer, this question may be a bit more complicated than we think. Disclosing your infidelity to your partner isn’t a matter-of-fact situation. As Dr. Marie Murphy says, you’re not obligated to tell anyone about your affair—whether it was a one-time thing or a long-term relationship. But, every action has a consequence, so regardless of what you decide to

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49:41

19. Divorce and Your Money with Shawn Leamon

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/01/14

There is a whole mess of social pressures around considering divorce: what will your family and friends think? What will a separation do to your kids? How will you be viewed in social and professional spaces after getting divorced? But, what about the financial considerations? What happens if you and your partner are both in agreement that a separation would be best, but you don’t think you can afford to make it happen? This is where a financial analyst comes in handy. They can help you make the

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23:32

18. Talking to Your Kids About Infidelity

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2021/01/07

So, you’ve had an affair and your family has found out about it. What now? Before you can even contemplate making a decision, the first thought that runs through your mind is: what about the kids? It can be incredibly difficult to navigate complex situations such as infidelity when you’re just dealing with yourself and your partner—but add your children into the mix and it can feel downright impossible. While Dr. Marie Murphy says this is completely normal, there is something you’re going to have to

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41:16

17. New Year's Resolutions with Dr. Jonathan Horowitz

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/12/31

The New Year is fast approaching and everyone’s mind has turned to the same thing: resolutions for 2021. But before you start listing down all the things you want to change for the coming year, there are two important questions that you might not have asked yourself in a while that can help you determine what to add to your list: What do you really want? And more importantly, why do you want it? According to Dr. Jonathan Horowitz, getting honest about your answer to the questions above won’t just

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43:23

16. How to Have Difficult Conversations with Your...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/12/24

When something big happens in your life, it doesn’t just affect you—it also impacts everyone around you. This is especially true when you have children. So, how do you navigate talking to your kids about the more difficult life changes, such as infidelity, separation, or divorce? Instead of descending into a nervous sweat or putting on the cone of silence, parenting coach Abigail Wald says to take it a little bit easier on yourself. Why? Because your children are incredibly capable—and they probably

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50:20

15. Relationships and the Tarot with Courtney Moore

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/12/17

What’s in the cards for the future of your romantic relationships? Undying love? Heartbreak? Freedom—or constraints? If you’re curious to know what lies ahead, you may have considered going for a card reading to find out. But, according to medical intuitive Courtney Moore, the Tarot isn’t for future-telling—it’s for guidance. Courtney sees the Tarot as an information gathering system to help you make the decisions that will best serve you (and that you may have been putting off). Join Dr. Marie

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30:12

14. So You Were Cheated On—Now What?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/12/10

Have you ever felt responsible for your partner’s feelings? When they’re reacting to something you’ve done, it can be hard not to feel like it’s your job to make them feel better. But, guess what: someone else’s emotions are not under your control—nor should they be. According to Dr. Marie Murphy, taking responsibility for your feelings, and your feelings alone, is an essential step in building a healthy relationship—or dealing with the aftermath of an affair. As she says, there is only one path to

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31:35

13. A Private Investigator's Perspective on...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/12/03

We’ve all seen the movies: someone suspects they’re being cheated on, so they call a private investigator to follow their partner in a high-speed chase that ends in a dramatic scene. However, the reality is just a bit different. Art Tilis, a private investigator and the Owner of Foglight Investigations, has received many calls from clients who believe their partner is having an affair. According to Art, the investigation process is a bit different from what we’ve seen on television and the big

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39:36

12. Legal Implications of Infidelity with Rodrigo Dias

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/11/26

When it comes to infidelity, there are a lot of different thoughts that may run through someone’s mind. Why did this happen? Did I do something wrong? And, importantly: what do we do now? The response to infidelity looks different for everyone. While some couples may choose to work it out, others may look to divorce—which, in many cases, involves the discussion of custody agreements, property division, spousal support, and more. In today’s episode, Dr. Marie Murphy is joined by Rodrigo Dias, a

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27:10

11. Personal Stories of Infidelity with Suzannah Weiss

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/11/19

There’s a lot of black and white thinking when it comes to the way we regard infidelity as a society. You’re either cheating or you’re not; you’re either right or you’re wrong; you’re either good or you’re bad. In Suzannah Weiss’s case, however, she was largely operating in the gray. As a sex and relationship writer, Suzannah went through her own experience of cheating, for lack of a better word, on her boyfriend of three years. After getting a better idea of what she does and doesn’t want from a

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57:38

10. Polyamory with Magenta Brooks

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/11/12

Depending on who you’re talking to, polyamory can be a bad word. Many people believe that entering a poly relationship is an excuse to have your cake and eat it too, a way to exert control over a significant other, or a loophole to avoid breaking up. Magenta Brooks is here to tell you that polyamory—and more specifically, ethical non-monogamy—is none of those things. With honest communication and vulnerability, it can be a relationship dynamic that fully and authentically serves everyone involved

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24:18

9. Debunking Myths About Infidelity

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/11/05

Why are you married? Did you fall in love with another person and come to a decision to share your lives together with official documentation? Did you feel happy? Or, did you feel pressured, like you had no other choice? To date, marriage is still seen as the most legitimate form a relationship can take. Coupled with surmounting societal pressure to “settle down” once you reach a certain age, it can be hard to consider that there may be other options—especially if you feel like marriage, or even

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39:47

8. So You’re Having an Affair—Now What?

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/10/29

Guilt. Shame. Embarrassment. These are often the first few words that come to mind when we talk about affairs. What you might not know, however, is that affairs involve a complexity of emotions, including confusion, anxiety, and yes, even excitement. Recognizing and processing what you’re feeling during an affair requires some real work and hard confrontations. But, if you’re honest with yourself and avoid taking tempting shortcuts, you can make it to the other side with the most important emotion

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34:04

7. Nonviolent Communication with Joyce Swaving

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/10/22

So, you’re in a monogamous relationship and you’ve been seeing someone outside of it. Or, perhaps you’ve found out that your partner has another relationship that you knew nothing about. The question remains the same: how do you talk about it? For nonviolent communication specialist Joyce Swaving, honest communication is key. But to ensure that you’re communicating safely and effectively, it’s important to practice nonviolence during these difficult conversations with your partner. Joyce’s advice

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47:01

6. Historical Perspectives on Marriage with Dr. Devon...

Your Secret Is Safe With Me ·

2020/10/15

The college degree, the 9-5 office job, the white picket fence, and, most importantly, the loving spouse and 2.5 children: once you’ve achieved these, you have it all! Or, do you? Whether we’re aware of it or not, we’ve been taught that there’s a right way to do life—especially when it comes to our romantic relationships. In our culture, we’re told that to have a healthy love life, we must have one partner who serves all of our needs. Without any deviations, this relationship should end in marriage

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