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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

26:28

Epicyon, More Than A Dog

Paleo Bites ·

2022/02/08

(image source: https://ideas.fandom.com/wiki/Epicyon_(SciiFii)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Epicyon, a bone-crushing dog that looks a lot like Zuul; the Ghostbusters hellhound, not the ankylosaur Zuul we’ll surely cover someday. From the Miocene epoch, this 6-foot canid has the audacity to say it’s more than a dog, rather than just accepting that it is still in fact a dog, just a really big one. C’mon, Epicyon; self-acceptance is key! Want to further support the

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25:01

Proailurus, the Before Cat

Paleo Bites ·

2022/02/01

(image source: http://animaladay.blogspot.com/2012/06/proailurus.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Proailurus, the first cat in the fossil record, followed shortly by the first hairball and the first shock from petting after rubbing your socks on the carpet. From the Oligocene epoch, this 3-foot felid predated humans and hominids in general by millions of years, which explains why cats believe themselves above humanity. They were here before us, and they’ll be here after

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27:10

Camarasaurus, the Chambered Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2022/01/25

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/kD5D20 by Giorgio Rizzo) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Camarasaurus, a huge thunderous longneck that still somehow managed to be boring. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot sauropod wasn’t the biggest, tallest, or longest dinosaur of its time, so most documentaries tend to ignore it for the cooler, more striking species. As someone who was never picked in his neighborhood kickball teams, I can relate. I had a rough

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28:43

Sivatherium, the Beast of Shiva

Paleo Bites ·

2022/01/18

(image source: https://novum-terram.fandom.com/wiki/Sivatherium_giganteum_(SciiFii)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Sivatherium, a hoofed mammal that might have lived both before and a little after the Ice Age, which is impressive, since I can barely make it through winter in my apartment. From the Miocene to the Pleistocene, this 12-foot-tall giraffid looked like an okapi on steroids. Hey, how did it clean out its bowels? With a colonos-okapi! ...I’m going home now

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34:16

Triceratops, the Three Horned Face

Paleo Bites ·

2022/01/11

(image source: https://bit.ly/3sOeVlW) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Triceratops, the last of the big four of five dinosaurs any witless schmuck can name to cover on this show. From the Late Cretaceous, this 30-foot chasmosaurine ceratopsian was identified after being uncovered by a cowboy in Wyoming, making it by default the most interesting thing to ever happen in that godforsaken state. Seriously, they could do atom bomb testing in Wyoming and no one would notice or

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24:09

Opabinia, of the Opabin Pass

Paleo Bites ·

2022/01/04

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Opabinia) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Opabinia, a freakish alien bugger that looks like it stepped straight out of a Doctor Who set. From the Mid Cambrian, this 3-inch stem arthropod had a digestive system in the shape of a U, which as a recovering bulimic, I can relate. Is that too dark of a joke? Eh, who cares, I don’t get paid enough to write these descriptions. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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27:37

Yi, the Strange Wing

Paleo Bites ·

2021/12/28

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yi_(dinosaur) by Emily Willoughby) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Yi, a tiny flying dinosaur before flying dinosaurs were cool, as in evolving-into-birds cool. From the Late Jurassic, this 2-foot scansoriopterygid had the shortest genus name of any dinosaur, and with its full scientific name Yi qi had the shortest binomial name allowed in taxonomy. Shame, I wanted to describe a dinosaur named Z. “A pack of Z are hunting the

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22:26

Nanjinganthus, the Jurassic Flower

Paleo Bites ·

2021/12/21

(image source: https://bit.ly/3d8sZhj) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Nanjinganthus, an organism that really stretches the definition of “prehistoric animal” in that it flat-out breaks it by not being an animal at all. From the Mid Jurassic, this ancient plant might have been the first flower known to science, pushing the date of their origin back nearly 60 million years! That’s cool, I guess… if you’re a nerd. Only Chads listen to this show. Want to further support the

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27:55

Incisivosaurus, the Incisor Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/12/14

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Incisivosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Incisivosaurus, one of the dumbest looking dinosaurs, which is a crime, because dinosaurs are supposed to be cool. From the Early Cretaceous, this 12-foot oviraptorosaur was one of the only members in its family to have teeth, and what teeth! Seriously, buck-teeth?! What is this guy, a naked mole rat? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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27:57

Gamerabaena, the Turtle of Gamera

Paleo Bites ·

2021/12/07

(image source: https://bit.ly/3wKqJ8P) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gamerabaena, a turtle named after the Japanese movie monster that hasn’t fought Kong… at least not yet. From the Late Cretaceous, this 1.5-foot turtle had nothing noteworthy about it whatsoever other than its name, so naturally we have a lot of banter to fill a half-hour episode on it. Oh, you don’t like our banter? You’re listening to the wrong damn show, then. Want to further support the show? Sign

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27:39

Eremotherium, the Solitary Beast

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/30

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/ladalbarran2000/art/Eremotherium-laurillardi-869911522) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Eremotherium, a giant ground sloth that hopefully moved faster than a regular sloth, otherwise its territory would be like a few hundred square feet. From the Late Pleistocene, this 20-foot megatherid lived all the way up to the dawn of human civilization. Not just humans, but human civilization. Prehistory wasn’t that far back, folks! Want to

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22:02

Arctodus, the Short-Faced Bear

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/23

(image source: https://paleo-media.fandom.com/wiki/Arctodus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Arctodus, a big, scary bear that would have wiped out humanity had it invented guns first, so thank God it didn’t. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot bear was actually closely related to the modern spectacled bear, which is not the relative I would have expected. I would think it was more related to the one Joaquin Phoenix killed in that Disney cartoon no one remembers. I

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21:23

Guanlong, the Crowned Dragon

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/16

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanlong) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Guanlong, a feathered dinosaur with a nose crest and a distant relation to T. rex, like the cassowary but less scary. From the Late Jurassic, this 9-foot proceratosaurid stalked the Chinese jungles and might have been contemporaneous with my boy Sinraptor; not like that matters to literally anyone else. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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16:14

Ninjatitan, the Titanic Ninja

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/09

(image source: https://bit.ly/3oKU54M) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host and Matt’s nephew Jacob Poloskey discuss Ninjatitan, a sauropod really inaccurately named, as I’m fairly certain there were no ninjas back then. From the Early Cretaceous, this 66-foot titanosaur was described just this year, proving definitively that dinosaur genus names are getting stupider. Can’t wait to hear about Piraterex buccaneerus in 2027. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive

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23:55

Gargoyleosaurus, the Gargoyle Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/11/02

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/gargoyleosaurus-daniel-eskridge.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Gargoyleosaurus, an early spiky armored boi that had a whole Disney cartoon back in the 90s. From the Late Jurassic, this 15-foot nodosaurid is only on display in the Denver Museum of Nature and Science, as opposed to the previously-covered Denversaurus, which is in Houston instead. Logic? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive

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22:22

Diictodon, the Two Weasel Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2021/10/26

(image source: https://prehistoricreatures.wordpress.com/2011/08/15/diictodon/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Diictodon, a little gopher-like creature that, based on evidence, had burrows bigger than my current apartment. From the Late Permian, this 2-foot synapsid lived during the worst mass extinction in all of Earth’s history, proving those post-apocalyptic stories right that the best way to survive is to hide underground. Except it still went extinct then, so maybe

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29:57

Pterodaustro, the Southern Wing

Paleo Bites ·

2021/10/19

(image source: https://www.amnh.org/explore/news-blogs/on-exhibit-posts/pterosaur-of-the-day-pterodaustro) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Pterodaustro, a flamingo/pelican/stork thing with baleen like a whale, except it was a reptile. From the Early Cretaceous, this 8-foot-wingspan pterosaur might have even been pink like flamingos based on its diet, which is nice. Real men wear pink, and a pterosaur is nothing but a real man. Want to further support the show? Sign up to

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20:53

Nanuqsaurus, the Polar Bear Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/10/12

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Nanuqsaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Nanuqsaurus, a polar tyrannosaur, which sounds pretty cool to me. Hehe, "cool." From the Late Cretaceous, this 19-foot theropod lived among the snow and ice, which is totally unlike the typical image of dinosaurs in a tropical jungle or swamp. Who's this guy think he is, going against the grain! There's always one outlier, I suppose. Want to further support the show? Sign up to

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23:59

Daeodon, the Hostile Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2021/10/05

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Daeodon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Daeodon, a nasty pig relative that presumably had the worst breath, but then again, we can't exactly prove that, so maybe it smelled like lilacs. From the Late Oligocene, this 8-foot entelodont would hog all the attention on the plains with all the chaos it would sow. And they'd pork each other. Are my pig puns okay, or am I hamming it up too much? Want to further support the show

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30:42

Meganeura, the Large-Nerved One

Paleo Bites ·

2021/09/28

(image source: https://walkingwith.fandom.com/wiki/Meganeura) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Meganeura, a dragonfly the size of an eagle, because we entomophobes haven't suffered enough. From the Late Carboniferous, this 3-foot-wingspan insect ruled the skies of the coal swamps of old, taking pride in the fact that nothing bigger would evolve flight for at least seventy million years. Like, imagine knowing nothing will be bigger than humans until the 70 thousandth

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320 results

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