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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

1:51:52

Tyrannosaurus rex, the Tyrant Lizard King

Paleo Bites ·

2021/09/21

(image source: https://bit.ly/2Za8EEl) Happy 100 episodes! Host Matthew Donald and nearly all of the previous guest co-hosts discuss Tyrannosaurus rex, a dinosaur that needs no introduction. From the Late Cretaceous, this 43-foot theropod is so big and iconic it requires a super-sized episode to fully do it justice, one nearly two hours long! Although granted, at least 80 minutes of it is just more of our usual dumb banter and tangents rather than any meaningful info. Want to further support the

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24:55

Longisquama, the One With Long Scales

Paleo Bites ·

2021/09/14

(image source: https://fossil.fandom.com/wiki/Longisquama) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Longisquama, a mysterious creature with tall feather-like scales it presumably used to get a good radio signal so it could catch the game every Sunday. From the Early to Mid Triassic, this 1.5-foot reptile might have been a primitive archosaur, a more basal relative of lizards, or even an extremely early dinosaur. C'mon paleontologists, figure it out already! How hard could it be,

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26:11

Repenomamus, the Reptilian Mammal

Paleo Bites ·

2021/09/07

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Repenomamus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Repenomamus, the biggest mammal of dinosaur times that actively preyed on dino babies, which is a real switcheroo in the usual predatory roles. From the Early Cretaceous, this 3.5-foot gobiconodontid was the first sign that mammals would not cower in fear of dinosaurs forever! All it took was a giant space rock sixty million years later. They were the playing the long game, those

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25:38

Charnia, of the Charnwood Forest

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/31

(image source: https://prehistoric-life.fandom.com/wiki/Charnia) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Charnia, a very early animal that, yes, was an animal. I mean, not like a party animal or anything, although we did think it lived in groups. From the Ediacaran period, this 1-inch to 6-foot tall creature lived so long ago that I actually first learned the term "Ediacaran period" when researching for this episode. I always assumed before the Cambrian it was just

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31:58

Darwinius, of Charles Darwin

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/24

(image source: https://www.nationalgeographic.org/article/who-was-ida/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Darwinius, a tiny mammal distantly related to the evolutionary line that led to humans, which is cool, but then again, so was Dimetrodon, which is way cooler. From the Eocene epoch, this 2-foot primate was so named to commemorate the 200th birthday of Charles Darwin when it was described, or maybe to send young-earth creationists into a seething rage. A primate named

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27:17

Concavenator, the Humpbacked Hunter of Cuenca

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/17

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/concavenatorRM_2211.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Concavenator, a dinosaur with a raging stiffy on the wrong end, or a less obvious joke. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20 foot carcharodontosaurid had one of the most truly preposterous features of any dinosaur. Seriously, why did that pointy thing exist? And why is it at that part of the back? Is science playing a joke? Well, it's not funny! Unless it's literally a

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24:05

Rapetosaurus, the Malagasy Giant Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/10

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/atrox1/art/Rapetosaurus-211286542) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Rapetosaurus, a longneck big enough to technically be impressive but not so large as to blow your mind into chunks or anything. From the Late Cretaceous, this 50-foot titanosaur was the largest dinosaur currently known from Madagascar, which is pretty neat I'd say. There should be bigger ones, though. I mean, I know it's a small island continent, but c'mon,

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19:29

Andrewsarchus, the Leader of Andrews

Paleo Bites ·

2021/08/03

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrewsarchus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Andrewsarchus, an enormous mammal that's gone through a lot of taxonomical shenanigans lately. From the Late Eocene, this 12-foot artiodactyl was once thought to be a giant dog-like predator with hooves, which is weird, but it turned out to be more a giant pig-like scavenger with hooves, which is less weird. Sometimes nature makes sense. Want to further support the show? Sign up

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21:29

Pyroraptor, the Fire Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2021/07/27

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/830280881294883148/ by Jonathan Kuo) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host (and Matthew's nephew!) Jacob Poloskey discuss Pyroraptor, one of the first raptors known from Europe who also aided the titan Prometheus if its name is any indication. From the Late Cretaceous, this 5-foot dromaeosaurid shares its etymology with pyromaniac, which is cool I guess. Where's the Nymphoraptor or Kleptoraptor then? Wait, kleptomaniacs steal stuff, and raptor means

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25:01

Colepiocephale, the Knuckle Head

Paleo Bites ·

2021/07/20

(image source: https://prehistopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Colepiocephale) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Colepiocephale, a dinosaur with an adorably G-rated insult in its genus because paleontologists are wholesome that way. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot pachycephalosaur is probably just a few years away from Jack Horner declaring it a baby Pachycephalosaurus, therefore invalidating the Knuckle Head, the Dragon King of Hogwarts, and the Demon of River Styx all in one

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24:54

Pliosaurus, Predator X

Paleo Bites ·

2021/07/13

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Pliosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Pliosaurus, a creature that garnered the nickname "Predator X" at one point because "Megabadassaurus" wasn't tryhard enough. From the Late Jurassic, this 40-foot short-necked plesiosaur actually literally means "More Lizard," perhaps due to it looking more like a lizard than Plesiosaurus, but I'm titling this episode after its cooler nickname because it will attract more

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30:59

Medusaceratops, the Gorgon Horned Face

Paleo Bites ·

2021/07/06

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Medusaceratops-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Medusaceratops, the dinosaur without snake hair or a petrifying gaze but with slightly droopy frill horns and that justifies its name I guess. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot centrosaurine ceratopsid also has the species name lokii, because why have one mythological reference in your scientific name when you can have two? Take that, Sauroposeidon proteles! Want to

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23:25

Allosaurus, the Different Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/29

(image source: https://www.scified.com/topic/49417) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Stephen Curro discuss Allosaurus, the most common predator of its day and a real piece of work too. From the Late Jurassic, this 35-foot theropod is quite cool but always seems to get overshadowed by T. rex. At least it's on top in Jurassic times! Unless you think Saurophaganax was a separate genus. Which I do. So sorry, Allosaurus. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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26:27

Bambiraptor, the Baby Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/22

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Bambiraptor-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Bambiraptor, the most adorable member of a family of ruthless cold-blooded monsters. From the Late Cretaceous, this 3-foot dromaeosaur theropod was small enough and had developed enough wing feathers that it might have been capable of flight. Because flying raptors are exactly what we needed. Imagine how much scarier Jurassic Park would be if those raptors flew! Want to

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20:45

Masiakasaurus, the Vicious Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/15

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Masiakasaurus-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Masiakasaurus, a serious contender for the dinosaur with the worst teeth. From the Late Cretaceous, this 14-foot noasaurid might have used its teeth for catching fish, small reptiles, and some have even suggested fruit. Because that kind of mouth is what I think of when I think frugivore. Maybe I'll take this guy to the smoothie shop with me on my next trip. Just kidding; I

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20:59

Muttaburrasaurus, the Muttaburra Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/08

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muttaburrasaurus by NobuTamura) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Muttaburrasaurus, a relative of Iguanodon from Australia before everything there was trying to kill you. From the Early Cretaceous, this 25-foot rhabdodontid may have migrated to Antarctica in the summer, because the two continents were linked back in Mesozoic times. The calm coldness of Antarctica balanced out the dangerous heat of the Outback. How romantic. They

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19:44

Shastasaurus, the Mount Shasta Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/06/01

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/706009679067998263/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Shastasaurus, the biggest marine reptile and biggest non-whale animal of all time; jeez, who are you trying to impress? From the Late Triassic, this 70-foot ichthyosaur goes back and forth in being classified as either its own genus or a subspecies of Shonisaurus, but for now it's its own genus, until paleontologists get drunk and write a paper changing it again. Want to

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21:46

Orkoraptor, the Toothed River Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2021/05/25

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Orkoraptor_a0ab.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Orkoraptor, a dinosaur that has a fantasy race in its genus name and so Matthew managed to get a fantasy nerd to talk about it with him. From the Late Cretaceous, this 24-foot megaraptoran theropod has a confusing taxonomical mess of a history, having been classified before as a dromaeosaur, a tyrannosaur, and even a large compsognathid. Sheesh, scientists, form a

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23:27

Bullockornis, the Demon Duck of Doom

Paleo Bites ·

2021/05/18

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Bullockornis) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Bullockornis, named after Australia's Bullock Creek but colloquially known as the Demon Duck of Doom. For real. I'm not making this up, even though it's totally on brand. From the Miocene epoch, this 8-foot-tall dromornithid was also known as the Thunder Duck, because one ostentatious nickname wasn't good enough for it I suppose. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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22:50

Sauropelta, the Lizard Shield

Paleo Bites ·

2021/05/11

(image source: https://dinosaurpictures.org/Sauropelta-pictures) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Sauropelta, the spiky armored one with spikes slightly spikier than the other spiky armored ones. From the Early Cretaceous, this 20-foot long nodosaurid would make a very unappetizing meal for any wandering T. rex... since by the time the rex evolved, Sauropelta had been extinct for forty million years, and no one wants to eat anything that old. Want to further support the

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