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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

21:25

Dilophosaurus, the Two-Crested Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/05/04

(image source: https://www.scified.com/topic/32736) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Dilophosaurus, the first dinosaur super-predator that got done real dirty by its single big movie appearance. From the Early Jurassic, this 19-foot theropod was so awesome that it didn't need any frills or poison spit; it could maim and brutalize with just grit alone! We salute you, Dilophosaurus, as one of the few dinosaurs who's real counterpart is cooler than the Hollywood version

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24:35

Velociraptor, the Fast Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2021/04/27

(image source: https://myths-made-real.blogspot.com/2011/11/creature-feature-velociraptors.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Velociraptor, the scaly man-sized door-opening movie monster, except it was feathered, it was dog-sized, and there were no doors back then for it to open. From the Late Cretaceous, this 6-foot dromaeosaurid was actually relatively obscure in popular media until its big blockbuster appearance, and now people won't shut up about it. Seriously, it's

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20:07

Majungasaurus, the Mahajanga Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/04/20

(image source: https://artbyphil.blogspot.com/2011/09/ifferocious.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Majungasaurus, a meat-eating dinosaur from Madagascar that's seriously unpleasant. From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot abelisaurid is one of the few dinosaurs with direct evidence of cannibalism, which means this thing is just as ugly on the inside as it is on the outside. Eeesh. This might be a hot take, but I'm glad this thing's dead. Want to further support the

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21:41

Leedsichthys, the Fish of Leeds

Paleo Bites ·

2021/04/13

(image source: https://prehistoricearthblog.wordpress.com/2017/02/15/leedsichthys/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Leedsichthys, a really, really big fish, and that pretty much sums it up. From the Late Jurassic, this 59-foot fish is like, a really big fish. Seriously, imagine a big fish; Leedsichthys is even bigger than that. Whoa! Hey, didn't Tim Burton make a movie about this creature? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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20:37

Struthiomimus, the Ostrich Mimic

Paleo Bites ·

2021/04/06

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Struthiomimus#/media/File:Struthiomimus_BW.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Struthiomimus, the dinosaur with a lot of skulls found due to them sticking their heads in the sand and dying... okay, that's not true, but whatever. From the Late Cretaceous, this 15-foot ornithomimid isn't as famous as it's cousin Gallimimus due to the latter having a big movie appearance in Jurassic Park, but eh, the acting life's not for

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23:44

Denversaurus, the Denver Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/30

(image source: https://www.artstation.com/artwork/vP31a) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Denversaurus, the official sponsor dino of the mile-high city when the Rockies baseball team isn't shoving their stupid Triceratops down our throats. From the Late Cretaceous, this 20-foot nodosaurid peacefully browsed the low-lying trees while trying not to get eaten by Tyrannosaurus and the like. We've all been there, haven't we? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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29:17

Argentavis, the Argentine Bird

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/23

(image source: http://aikavaellus.fi/en/timeline/6ma/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Argentavis, the biggest flying bird of all time, unless you think pterosaurs are birds, which if you do, you dumb. From the Late Miocene, this 23-foot-wingspan condor soared across prehistoric Patagonia and terrorized baby ground sloths and hoofed mammals. What a bully. Someone should really do something about this thing! Oh wait, it's extinct. Want to further support the show? Sign up to

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20:48

Regaliceratops, the Royal Horned Face

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/16

(image source: http://www.sci-news.com/paleontology/science-regaliceratops-peterhewsi-02879.html) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Regaliceratops, a horned dinosaur with a very regal-looking frill, almost like it's in the name or something. From the Late Cretaceous, this 17-foot dinosaur hosted elegant garden parties and supported the troops while also being hunted by dinosaurs like Albertosaurus. How dare they disrespect royalty like that?! Want to further support the

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22:54

Ichthyosaurus, the Fish Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/09

(image source: https://www.dkfindout.com/uk/dinosaurs-and-prehistoric-life/prehistoric-reptiles/ichthyosaurus/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Ichthyosaurus, the reptile trying to be a dolphin trying to be a fish; sheesh, pick a career path already. From the Early Jurassic, this 10-foot marine reptile dominated the early Mesozoic seas only to be replaced by more efficient creatures later on like the mosasaurs. You had your fifteen minutes of fame, Ichthyosaurus, but

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25:37

Beelzebufo, the Devil Frog

Paleo Bites ·

2021/03/02

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beelzebufo by Nobu Tamura) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Beelzebufo, a giant frog that preyed on baby dinosaurs, which is pretty messed up if you ask me. From the Late Cretaceous, this 1-foot amphibian terrorized the swamps of Madagascar more than any fossa ever did, or any lemur with a semi-automatic rifle. What documentaries am I watching again? Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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22:32

Dinornis, the Giant Moa

Paleo Bites ·

2021/02/23

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_Island_giant_moa) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Dinornis, a giant bird from New Zealand that could probably kick your stomach right out of your mouth like a rugby ball. From the Early Holocene, this 12-foot-tall ratite has the honor of being the most recent creature on this show, having been hunted to extinction only six hundred years ago. Yay, humans? God, we suck. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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21:39

Livyatan, the Leviathan

Paleo Bites ·

2021/02/16

(image source: https://i.imgur.com/04g1MHn.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Livyatan, the monster whale eighteenth-century sailors all feared despite it living millions of years ago and only being described in the 2010s. From the Late Miocene, this 60-foot cetacean ate other large whales for breakfast and was a direct rival of the monster shark C. megalodon. What a terrifying ocean. Let's never time-travel there. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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27:13

Pachyrhinosaurus, the Thick-Nosed Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/02/09

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/295337688043705239/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Pachyrhinosaurus, a horned dinosaur without a horn that lived up in the cold north. From the Late Cretaceous, this 25-foot ceratopsian had a nose not unlike your Uncle Earl and possibly a feathery coat not unlike your Aunt Edna. Possibly. The feather thing, not the aunt thing. You definitely have an aunt that wears feathery coats. Want to further support the show? Sign up

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19:30

Gasosaurus, the Gasoline Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2021/02/02

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/gasosaurus_b605.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Gasosaurus, a poor schmuck of a dinosaur stuck with a name that'll make third-graders snicker the world over. From the Mid Jurassic, this 12-foot theropod has an unclear placement in the meat-eating dinosaur tree; it could be a carnosaur, a coelurasaur, a metriacanthosaur, or maybe an ancestor of all of them. Sounds lot a load of hot air. (snicker) Want to further

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25:49

LUCA, the Last Universal Common Ancestor

Paleo Bites ·

2021/01/26

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/793970609285301591/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Jennifer Grossman discuss LUCA, the most recent organism from which all others on Earth have a common descent, which is pretty out-there. From the Precambrian era, this single-celled organism had nothing noteworthy about it whatsoever other than all its descendants, so have hope, all you losers! You might not be special, but your great-grandkids could be! Emphasis on "could." Want to further

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20:47

Mesohippus, the Middle Horse

Paleo Bites ·

2021/01/19

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mesohippus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Mesohippus, an early form of horse that's just a pink recolor and tramp-stamp away from being on a little girls' merchandise-based cartoon show. From the Eocene epoch, this 2-foot-tall horse wasn't quite Eohippus the early horse, nor like modern late horses, but just in the middle. A middle horse, if you will. Hey, I get it now! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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23:54

Liopleurodon, the Smooth-Sided Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2021/01/12

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liopleurodon by DiGbd) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Liopleurodon, an infamous sea monster whose size was heavily exaggerated by a certain British documentary, to the disappointment of kaiju fans everywhere. From the Late Jurassic, this 28-foot pliosaurid was still the top predator in its oceanic environment, but that can only offset so much of an overall letdown. Sure, it was big, but I want bigger! BIGGER!!! Eh, whatever. Want

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20:48

Irritator, the Irritating One

Paleo Bites ·

2021/01/05

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Irritator-Andrey-Atuchin_efcd.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Irritator, a dinosaur with a hilarious name and a not-so-hilarious backstory on how it got it. From the Early Cretaceous, this 25-foot spinosaurid shares a kindred spirit with little brothers everywhere, or at least this particular little brother. I have three older sisters, okay? They can all verify just how irritating I was. Want to further support the

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25:47

Aquilops, the Eagle Face

Paleo Bites ·

2020/12/29

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aquilops by Nobu Tamura) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Aquilops, an absolutely adorable little critter and one of the best candidates for a dinosaur that would make a great pet. From the Mid Cretaceous, this 2-foot ceratopsian was a transitionary fossil between the more basal members of its family like Psittacosaurus and the slightly more derived members like Protoceratops. But I guess that's just how evolution works, I

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25:35

Styracosaurus, the Spiked Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/12/22

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Styracosaurus0001_0e99.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Styracosaurus, a dinosaur who spikes unsuspecting predators just as people at New Year's Eve parties spike unsuspecting drinks. From the Late Cretaceous, this 18-foot centrosaurine ceratopsian was the most famous horned dinosaur other than Triceratops, which is a good place to be. It's always good to have that one friend to count on when the more popular one

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320 results

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