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PODCAST

back from the borderline

I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of "disorder" or "dysfunction", but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

1:01:09

fear of abandonment and the mother wound in fairy tales

back from the borderline ·

2023/05/02

Absent parenting leaves us with lifelong emotional scars. Join me as we listen to some lovely calming medieval vibes while we discuss how we can heal from childhood neglect and abandonment through the exploration of myths and fairy tales. Later in the episode, I read an excerpt from a recent book that inspired me to rethink the burdens and resentments I’ve been carrying with me up until this point in my life. It is my hope that it can inspire you, too.TIME STAMPS00:00 - 3:56: Intro3:56 - 50:13: Fear

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1:31:48

find your life's purpose with the japanese philosophy...

back from the borderline ·

2023/04/25

Why am I here? What is my purpose for being? Isn’t there more to life than waking up, dragging myself to a job to do work that makes me feel empty, and having nothing to look forward to other than my next paid vacation? Many of us live our lives in a purely reactionary way. Jumping from job to job, randomly selecting a focus area in university based less on a deep inner calling or soul-inspired vision and more on societal expectations and what is required to survive in the cages and systems we were

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1:31:32

are you an approval addict?

back from the borderline ·

2023/04/11

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. Humans have an inherent need to bond. To be seen and loved. Being agreeable, empathetic, and willing to go the extra mile for the people you love are beautiful traits. However, our greatest strengths can also be our most powerful weaknesses. Most of us are familiar with drug and alcohol addiction – but another addiction that isn’t spoken about as often is an addiction to approval. Approval addiction creates within you a temptation to agree to almost

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1:18:33

completely transform the way you view your mental...

back from the borderline ·

2023/04/04

When psychological suffering knocks at the door of life, modern psychiatry's approach is to label, diagnose, and often medicate what they view as symptoms of various labels like BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD – the list goes on. As of 2022, the DSM-5 provides diagnostic criteria for 193 mental health disorders, a number that continues to increase with each new edition. 'Disordered' behavior and intense emotion dysregulation are viewed as phenomena that should be eradicated and 'cured’ with the hope of

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1:14:07

emotional reactivity and toxic friendships

back from the borderline ·

2023/03/28

It’s another lively episode of BFTB, y’all. This time, we’re diving into mental health stigma, low emotional intelligence, gaslighting, and emotion dysregulation. Check out the time stamps below for a full breakdown of topics covered and questions answered.TIMESTAMPS: 2:02 | The importance of doing nothing and cultivating silence (new research in neuroscience with tweet from Billy Openheimer)10:18 | Voicemail from Josie regarding BPD stigma in Hollywood films (“Bodies, Bodies, Bodies”) and reframing

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1:02:19

when your diagnosis becomes a weapon in the hands of...

back from the borderline ·

2023/03/21

One of the most common questions I receive from my podcast listeners is when, if, and how they should disclose their mental health-related diagnostic labels to their friends, family, and intimate partners. In this episode, I’ll be taking voicemails from Bella, Darrien, and Natalie – all BFTB listeners struggling with the topic of disclosure (and the regret that can often follow.)Below are some questions answered and concepts covered in this episode:·Why do we often regret telling someone about a

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1:42:07

developing a growth mindset to overcome splitting and...

back from the borderline ·

2023/03/14

In this episode, we delve into the topic of splitting, a common behavior that can have both adaptive and maladaptive consequences. Splitting is associated with various mental health “disorder” and “dysfunction” labels, including BPD, EUPD, cPTSD, ADHD, ASD, and more. Through the lens of esoteric and historical spiritual practices, we examine what splitting is, how it affects our lives, and the psychological conditions and disorders associated with it. We also explore how polarized thinking impacts

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1:42:59

healing control and codependency issues to get your...

back from the borderline ·

2023/03/07

Are you tired of feeling like your intimate relationships just aren't fulfilling? Do you find yourself getting resentful and angry at your partner because they don't seem as excited to see you or make as much effort as they used to? Well, you're not alone. In today's episode, we're going to explore the topic of codependency and unrealistic expectations in relationships. We'll talk about the concept of control dramas and how they can push love away, leaving you feeling frustrated and unfulfilled

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1:16:33

your personality masks are blocking access to your...

back from the borderline ·

2023/02/28

In this episode, we explore the topic of personality masks and how they can block access to your true Self. To understand this complex and nuanced topic, we’ll start by understanding exactly how to understand the concepts of “Self” and “personality” and examine the signs that might indicate that you’re “masking” your true personality. You’ll learn how to spot the signs that might indicate that you’re masking your true Self and discuss why many of us resort to personality masks as a defense or coping

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1:35:11

autism or personality disorder? (exploring...

back from the borderline ·

2023/02/21

Dr. Jay Watts and I discuss the reasons why women are less likely to be diagnosed with autism and exploring common autistic traits that are missed in women. Listeners will gain insight into the coping strategies of autistic "masking" and "camouflaging" that are often missed in women and girls, as well as the characteristic "special interests" of women with autism. Together, we also unpack the harmful stigma that arises from the BPD/EUPD labels and how people with these labels are stigmatized in

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52:06

sober curious: a fresh and dialectical approach to...

back from the borderline ·

2023/02/14

Lately, I’ve been seeing quite a few viral videos that mention a “sober curious” lifestyle, and it got me... curious. So I decided to find out all I could and share it with the pod fam. In this episode, we’ll dive into the growing movement and explore the benefits and challenges of a life without alcohol. From personal stories of transformation to advice from some of the movement’s founders, this episode will give you the insights and inspiration you need to start your own sober curious journey if

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59:45

"am i crazy, or are they gaslighting me?"

back from the borderline ·

2023/02/07

A BFTB listener named Jade called into the pod because she’s been made to feel like the “crazy one” in her relationship. Naturally, I felt this called for an entire episode on gaslighting and high-conflict couples.Questions answered and topics discussed in this episode:■ Understanding Gaslighting: What it is and its Effects■ Spot the Signs: Identifying if Your Partner is Gaslighting You■ Mental Health Stigma: Ways People Who Are Open About their Mental Health are Gaslit into “Self-Blame”■ Seeking

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45:34

blindsided by betrayal: learning to love again after...

back from the borderline ·

2023/01/31

Loads of listeners have been calling in and leaving voicemails about how to navigate relationship difficulties. In this week’s episode, we’ll be hearing from Liz, who is currently struggling with feelings of guilt and shame after convincing herself that she’s the reason her boyfriend’s friend group evicted him from his apartment. We’ll also check in with Otillia, who is recovering from discovering the person she’d been seeing had been hiding a pregnant girlfriend.The episode at a glance (topics

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1:30:22

breaking the cycle of pain: moving on and healing...

back from the borderline ·

2023/01/24

Are you struggling to move on from a traumatic breakup? You're not alone. In this episode, we delve into the emotional and psychological journey of healing. From understanding the grieving process to rebuilding your self-worth, I’ve got you covered. Join me as we explore the steps to finding closure and discovering the strength to love again.Concepts explored in this episode:• Healing through Helping Others: Using Altruism to Overcome Dark Moments in Mental Health • Breaking the Cycle of Pain:

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1:24:08

overcoming executive dysfunction: "why can't i just...

back from the borderline ·

2023/01/17

Are you struggling to get organized and achieve your goals? Do you find it difficult to plan for the future, control your emotions and impulses, or stay on task? If so, you may be experiencing executive dysfunction. Executive functioning is a hot topic in the world of neurodiversity, particularly when it comes to ADHD emotion dysregulation. But what exactly is executive dysfunction and how does it affect our daily lives? In this podcast episode, we delve into the topic of executive dysfunction and

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1:33:22

mental illness is not in your head: evolving beyond...

back from the borderline ·

2023/01/10

Join me as we explore the limitations of the medical model of disease in psychiatry and medicine. This model, which relies heavily on diagnosis and medication, does not fully account for the complexities of mental and physical illness. Instead, we should consider a more holistic approach that looks beyond symptoms and diagnosis and addresses the root causes of illness. We discuss the importance of considering environmental, social, and psychological factors in mental and physical health and how this

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1:18:57

how scott broke the cycle of generational family...

back from the borderline ·

2023/01/03

A while back, I received a voicemail from 67-year-old Scott Schaeffer – his story and experience struck such a profound cord that I reached out to him to see if he’d be interested in sharing more with the listeners of the podcast. What resulted was this episode – and one of the most incredible interviews I’ve done to date. With the help of a supportive and well-informed psychotherapist, Scott realized that he identified heavily with the traits of borderline personality disorder. As a child, he

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46:42

understanding the different models of mental health...

back from the borderline ·

2022/12/27

To be able to best advocate for yourself when seeing a mental health professional, it is essential that you have at least a base-level understanding of the different theoretical and philosophical approaches to understanding mental health, disorder, illness, distress, oppression, and abuse. The dominant framework in most Western countries is the medical model – this model pathologizes the human experience. It attempts to explain away suffering and trauma by labeling certain behaviors (and

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50:17

what to do when you finally wake up to the pain...

back from the borderline ·

2022/12/20

I received a voicemail from a listener who was feeling overwhelmed with guilt. In a moment of emotional dysregulation, she had lost her sh*t with some close friends, who hadn’t spoken to her since. She wanted advice on dealing with the natural guilt that comes up when we’ve unconsciously hurt people we love. I talk a lot on the podcast about the “I am the problem” moment many of us who identify with various "disorder" or "dysfunction" labels experience along the path of recovery. It’s a painful but

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