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PODCAST

back from the borderline

I don’t want to talk to your personality; I want to talk to your soul. Imagine if your most painful and debilitating mental health symptoms and self-sabotaging behaviors aren’t evidence of "disorder" or "dysfunction", but adaptive strategies that once kept you safe. My goal is to help you shift from asking ‘What’s wrong with me?’ to ‘What happened to me?’The word ‘borderline’ in this podcast has nothing to do with psychiatric labels. It has everything to do with coming back from the inner

health & fitness mental health

All Episodes

23:28

The Voice You’re Using Isn’t Yours

back from the borderline ·

2026/01/08

Most people move through their day assuming the voice in their head belongs to them. The commentary that explains our reactions, the phrases that seem to pop in our minds when we’re about to speak. Even the language we use to justify what we feel, and why we choose to keep going inside this confusing-as-hell human experience in our meat suits. All of that comes from inside us, right?The disconcerting reality is that if you spend enough time listening to yourself think, you realize that the voice you

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1:10:29

The Cool Girl Myth and Trend Culture as Self Abandonment

back from the borderline ·

2026/01/06

Trend culture these days moves faster than any of us can keep up with. What was framed as essential a few months ago is quickly recoded as dated or embarrassing, replaced by a new “aesthetic.”For many of us, this produces that dreaded feeling: plenty of clothes, but very little (or no) sense of personal style. But I’m here with a spoiler alert for you, my lovely listener. The problem is not your taste level, it’s the system.This episode draws on my firsthand experience working inside fashion PR

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22:02

the cassandra curse: feeling “crazy” when you’re...

back from the borderline ·

2026/01/01

For the highly sensitive, intuitive, and intense people among us, our greatest gift is often the source of our deepest interpersonal suffering.We pick up on invisible tells and subconscious subtext that others miss. We can just feel when the energy shifts. But when we try to speak that truth to the person on the other end, we often make the mistake of outsourcing our validation. We get upset that they aren't seeing our version of reality, and inevitably, we get labeled "crazy." The tragic irony here

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1:07:01

why you can’t relax: the 5 survival spells running...

back from the borderline ·

2025/12/30

These five “survival spells” once kept you safe. Now they’re quietly running your life.Many adults live with a constant undercurrent of tension. Rest feels conditional. Even moments of safety carry a sense of hypervigilance. This episode explores the internal logic behind that state that so many of us are trapped in.Together, we’ll examine five psychological illusions that often shape adulthood beneath our conscious awareness: control, performative identity, scarcity, isolation, and perfectionism

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1:08:02

why you’re obsessed with people who can’t love you back

back from the borderline ·

2025/12/23

This episode examines limerence not as a personality flaw or a trendy attachment term, but as a learned psychological strategy that begins in childhood. Rather than treating obsession as irrational, we explore how it develops as a way to survive inconsistent, misattuned, or emotionally absent parenting, and how that same strategy later shows up in adult relationships.This phenomenon explains why so many of us become fixated on emotionally unavailable partners and why the end of even a short

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39:54

nick fuentes and the cult of irony

back from the borderline ·

2025/12/18

This preview of a Patreon-exclusive episode breaks down exactly how Nick Fuentes functions as a media figure and why his influence persists despite bans, persistent backlash, and public condemnation. Rather than arguing about whether or not he is dangerous, I analyze how his livestreams work in practice. We dig into the role humor plays in his persona, explore chat dynamics his his livestreams, and how irony creates commitment and shared identity among his loyal followers, the Groypers.The episode

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1:09:15

when you’re done being the good daughter

back from the borderline ·

2025/12/16

This episode examines what happens when the instinct to please, fix, and perform finally breaks down. It’s an archetypal investigation into three roles that often define women’s emotional lives: the Good Child who earns love, the Witch who learns to wield power, and the Daughter-Savior who tries to repair everyone else’s pain. Through personal narrative, cultural analysis, and depth psychology, this story uncovers how these identities form and how they can be released without bitterness. Listeners

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23:06

how to ACTUALLY stop giving a f**k about what people...

back from the borderline ·

2025/12/11

This is what it actually takes to stop caring what people think. For real this time.Every person who grew up managing the reactions of parents, partners, and strangers online knows the courtroom that forms in your head. It’s where you replay every sentence you’ve said, trying to prove that you’re right or somehow good enough. This episode examines where this mental reflex takes root and why it survives long into adulthood, often sabotaging our ability to actually live. Our desperate need to explain

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1:26:51

how AI is rewiring the human psyche

back from the borderline ·

2025/12/09

AI isn’t abstract anymore. It’s showing up in the deepest parts of our lives People are using it at the exact moments they used to reach for a journal, a friend, or a distraction. That’s the territory we step into in this episode. I invited Dr. Laurence Hillman and Dr. Vanja Bokun Popovićto join this conversation because both of them watch how inner life actually works through years of sitting with clients, students, and their own personal experiments with these tools.The conversation moves from

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33:15

the female market, part 2: the cost of freedom

back from the borderline ·

2025/12/04

This is part two of our investigation into the market built around women’s bodies and the systems that keep that market running. Be sure to listen to part one first if you haven’t already. In that first installment, we mapped the world that turns women into atmosphere, entertainment, or labor.This episode stays with the same investigation but shifts the angle. We will move our focus to demand. Our story will look at boys raised on streaming porn without steady mentors, at men entering adulthood with

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1:27:54

the female market, part 1: the price of desire

back from the borderline ·

2025/12/02

This is a two-part investigation into the market built around women’s bodies and the systems that keep that market running. From there, the episode follows the environments that feed this system, from the hostess world to the online spaces where attention pays.Caroline Myss’s writing on the Prostitute Archetype offers a way to understand the inner bargains women make under pressure, while Rachel Moran’s account of prostitution brings forward the reality behind those bargains when survival narrows

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18:49

the occult truth about heartbreak

back from the borderline ·

2025/11/27

What if your heartbreak was an initiation?This episode explores heartbreak as an occult process that remakes you from the insight out. We examine limerence (that obsessive, addictive infatuation), the ancient Greek concept of Eros as daimon (a spirit that seizes you, not a choice you make), and the alchemical function of grief.You'll discover why the person you loved was a projection of your own soul, why heartbreak feels like death (because something in you is dying), and how the pain of heartbreak

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1:15:05

the holy grail and the lost wisdom of the west

back from the borderline ·

2025/11/25

For centuries, the Holy Grail has been treated as a Christian relic or a medieval myth. But the Grail is far older than this, and its meaning was never meant to be lost. In this episode, we will follow the lineage of the sacred cup from prehistoric carvings and Celtic cauldrons to the Grail romances, alchemy, and depth psychology. You’ll travel through the hidden history of Western esotericism, where ancient goddess traditions, Druidic wells, and early mystics all guarded pieces of a single story:

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40:20

how we all became a little satanic

back from the borderline ·

2025/11/20

The popular image of Satanism belongs to horror movies, pentagrams, and black candles, but the real influence sits in work culture and the chase for personal. A promotion. A streak of discipline that borders on obsession. A pressure to build a better version of yourself every month of the year. The figure of Lucifer becomes a shorthand for the belief that the Self should take priority above all else.The episode follows this idea from Milton to Nietzsche to Rand, then into the way Silicon Valley

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1:10:06

digital scapegoats and the ritual of outrage

back from the borderline ·

2025/11/18

One single mistake online can set off a collective judgment that moves faster than thought itself. A name starts to trend and a crowd quickly forms around it. The event feels public, but it somehow reaches into private instinct. The pull to condemn and to belong. But most importantly, to feel clean or more pure through accusation.In this episode, we’ll dig into exactly how outrage becomes a shared ritual of moral performance. We’ll dissect the psychology of projection and how quickly empathy seems

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22:45

the unhappy woman: against the cult of calm

back from the borderline ·

2025/11/13

Your unhappiness is sacred data.The woman who refuses to smile has been treated as a problem for millennia. Ancient Greeks blamed her wandering womb. Victorians diagnosed her with hysteria. The 1950s prescribed tranquilizers as "mother's little helper." Every era finds its own brand new language for the same mandate: women must be calm. The happiness imperative functions as social control. "Lean In" feminism and tradwife fantasies are both performances that erase actual feminine rhythms. Meanwhile,

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1:16:45

the age of AI slop and the birth of a new renaissance

back from the borderline ·

2025/11/11

AI is changing how culture gets made, and it's happening fast. Text, images, and ideas... all produced faster than anyone can actually think about them. The internet feels somehow overfed and undernourished all at once.But inside that noise, a new creative intelligence is forming. This episode looks at that emergence. The first Renaissance began in ruins, in a dark age when imagination and science stopped competing and started building together. We're standing in a similar fracture right now.AI is

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36:18

the magician who invented the modern world: john dee...

back from the borderline ·

2025/11/06

John Dee built the blueprint for modern intelligence long before the word “scientist” even existed. He mapped stars while designing encryption systems and spoke to what he called angels through a black “scrying” mirror that still sits in the British Museum to this day. Queen Elizabeth herself trusted him. Europe feared him and often regarded him as a dangerous heretic. Silicon Valley would’ve hired him instantly.The tale we’re weaving in this episode will find us in Elizabethan courts and imperial

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1:25:58

the IFS takedown: my unfiltered response to the psych...

back from the borderline ·

2025/11/04

When New York Magazine dropped its viral feature “The Therapy That Can Break You,” in The Cut on October 30th, 2025, the internet exploded with hot takes. Psychiatrists and psychoanalysts flooded X (Twitter) with posts claiming they’d been “right about IFS all along.” In this episode, we’re going to completely dissect this article, as well as all the backlash and scandal surrounding it. The question hiding underneath it all is this:Who gets to own and define the human psyche?Together, we’ll break

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34:28

the world isn't real (and why that might actually be...

back from the borderline ·

2025/10/30

For thousands of years, philosophers, mystics, and scientists have whispered the same unsettling possibility: what if reality itself is a mirage? From Plato’s cave to The Matrix, from Hindu sages describing maya to neuroscientists calling perception a “controlled hallucination,” the suspicion has never gone away. In this episode, we follow the clues through philosophy, folklore, and quantum theory to uncover how humanity has wrestled with the idea that the world we see may not be what it seems.The

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