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1:30:14

Year 5 in Review: Part 2

2019/04/29

Each year we recount the creme' de la crappe, and discuss our very favorite 10 films (each) from the previous year in podcasting. These are the films that are the most important to see. This episode is like a cornucopia of terribly awesome stinkers. Stop what you're doing and watch these movies. Here are numbers 4-1 plus our very favorite movies that were released in 2018.

1:21:08

Year 5 in Review: Part 1

2019/04/22

1:50:31

Dune - You gotta keep the angel dust flowing!

2019/04/15

A guy with unrealistically great hair, stands atop a giant earthworm (who isn't even wearing a costume) and uses his Alexa-style hand laser to be less effective in combat than just going and buying a regular laser gun. It'sDune and arguably one of our most controversial choices to lampoon. Duneis that unique mix of "well, that looked really good" and "this is a really accurate representation of the novels (sorta)" on one side while also being complete nonsensical crap and horribly cheesy effects

1:34:01

Teen Wolf Too - Tony Danza's origin story

2019/04/01

You didn't ask for it, but you got it. A sequel starring a different guy who finds out he's a werewolf and is good at sports, but this time he's in college! Things are about to get a little wild, right? Sadly no - this college is actually just a junior high school. Nothing says wild college party like punch and pie mixers, right? Getting fast and loose while the "Dean of Men" chaperones! Yeah, college! This is the nerd's version of college for sure. All these rascally rule breaking college freshman

1:42:07

Running Scared - Retreat Annoyed

2019/03/25

The greatest question posed by man since 1986 is "what the heck do people see in this pile?" It's like working next to a construction site. Its like a toaster that always burns your bread. Its like a script that tries to make the leads the two most annoying people on the planet and succeeds.Running Scaredsucks. Imagine yourself living in the universe as Gregory Hines and Billy Crystal's characters. Worse yet, imagine having to work with them. They're worse then Lumberg. Each and every Monday would

1:35:56

The Lost Empire - The Worst Infinity Gauntlet Ever

2019/03/18

It's got a random gorilla, a laser "unit", eyebrows that change from shot to shot, a trio of tough ladies, possible ninjas and a dubious plot to build the Infinity Gauntlet so you know this must be a Jim Wynorski movie. Bring on the chesty women! If you've ever seen a Jim Wynorski film, you know of two things to expect: the left boob and the right boob. This one is no different. It's just a silly budget movie with a fairly standard plot (a trio of chesty ladies team-up to destroy an evil plot to

1:46:23

2018 SMABFA Awards

2019/03/11

The hottest awards for bad films in 2018 are here and the winners are all set. Listen to the 2018 SMABFA Podcast and check out all the nominees and winners below. Best bad actor - Dwayne - Rampage Toby Kebbell - Hurricane Heist Eric Johnson - 50 Shades Trevante Rhodes - Predator Shaq - Show Dogs Gerard Butler - Hunter Killer Jeffery Dean Morgan - Rampage Jamie Foxx - Robin Hood Jackson Rathbone - Samson Tom Jayne - Predator - WINNER Hugo Weaving - Mortal Engines Jake Lacey -

1:34:12

Short Circuit - Our childhood actually sucked

2019/03/04

There's a really good reason that this film disappeared from cable networks and the cultural lexicon. Take an heavy level of racism, add a cavalcade of annoying characters and jokes then sprinkle all that on top of inane plot and you've got yourself a monster bud movie. We'll give this movie one thing - the animatronics and puppeteering are great. That's it. Everything surrounding the work of the grips, best boys and effects team stink. Guttenburg is groan-inducing, Sheedy is baffling, Stevens is

1:31:50

Theodore Rex - Careers going extinct in real-time

2019/02/26

In a futuristic world, an evil billionaire recreates the dinosaurs (making them small, have normal arms, and recovering carnivores) and then hatches a villainous plan to wipe out all life on Earth, creating a utopia of dinos and humans - so just like the current status in the movie. WTF is this POS? Theodore Rex is insufferable. At no point in its incoherent rambling is a modicum of enjoyment to be had. It's baffling yet it hurts your brain. It's fast-paced, yet nothing is moving the plot forward

1:38:02

Picasso Trigger - More boobs but less Abilene

2019/02/19

Andy Sidaris once again dials the nonsense up to about 50 and matches that number with topless women. This time the LETHAL team has to deal with some internal double-crossing or triple-crossing, we're very confused on how many crossings happen here. We've seen that a lot of the reviews online for the 4th film in the LETHAL collection (this one proves that Seven is part of the franchise) that this one isn't good. There's no giant snake gimic, not as crazy stunts, and a much crappier version of the

1:17:27

Who Killed Captain Alex? - Also, who was Captain Alex?

2019/02/11

From Wakaliwood comes Uganda's first action movie! This is Uganda! Yeah Yeah Yeah Okay! Commandos! Tiger Mafia! Tiger Mafia Commandos! VJ Emmie on the mic! So yeah, we make fun of it. Who Killed Captain Alex is one of the cleverly disguised as crap, but actually smarter b-movies we've reviewed on the show. We found the plot to be fairly conventional while watching the movie until the last 3 frames and we released that we had been duped. This was no common hyper-budget action movie. Nothing out of

1:32:40

Burlesque - a 10 on mediocrity!

2019/02/05

A mediocre talent finds inspiration in an over-the-hill mentor and in doing so makes a nightclub successful. So Xanadu...right? Actually, it's also Chicago, Moulin Rouge and Coyote Ugly. Thanks Troy from Goonies! Let's face it, gang. Burlesque is about 30 minutes too long and suffers from the typical drag of poorly thought out projects - there's too many subplots and no main plot. While most of them are just meh, one subplot is insufferable - the romance. What's her name Aquafina falls in love with

1:36:18

Batman & Robin - It's the children's fault

2019/01/28

After years of steering well clear of one of the most notoriously bad movies of all time, we finally tackle the most butt and crotch heavy superhero movie ever made. Clooney brings the turtle-neck and somehow manages to not push Robin and Bat-Girl off the rooftops. Is it possible this isn't the torture-fest we expected? In short - yes! It isn't the torture-fest we expected. We actually had quite a bit of fun with this turd. Don't take us incorrectly, this is a travesty, but after 22 years its

1:34:11

Angels' Brigade - Or is it Revenge?

2019/01/22

A super-elite team of hot ladies formulate to take down all of the drugs in the US. Instead they get a high school teacher kidnapped, a teenager shot and possibly killed, ruin a man's salesman career, and watch a man get eaten by a dog all so they can take down roving tampon salesman. Seven From Heaven indeed! Man, when you line up movies from the late 70s this is strikes all the bells. A hot van with rockets, machine guns and a dirt bike with machine guns on it in the back - check. Busty ladies

1:29:30

Hard Cash - Hard Pass

2019/01/14

When you must put your slowly dieing career into the dumpster forever, the fast path is to team up with Christian Slater in a crime-caper. A band of bozos get caught in an dirty FBI sting and must steal all the gold for themselves...and they only thing stopping them is their own idiocy. We'll start by saying that this ALMOST has something. There's bookends of banana business but that squishy look-warm middle bit drags it back into the depths of quite not interesting. Despite it having the worst

1:33:16

Batman Forever - More butts and nipples!

2018/12/31

It's raining bats! Hallelujah! Nothing needs a little sexy sprinkled into it like Batman. Joel Schumacher decides that what the masses want to see are a bunch of butts in spandex. Now with nipples! Batman Forever is a bit of a pill to swallow. Going from the very pale and stark Tim Burton films to this is a complete 180 shift. It's bright, vivid, colorful, loud, and filled with butts. It's like Ricky Martin was a technical adviser. Some might have a serious issue with this. But I ask you one thing

1:33:50

I Believe in Santa Claus - I don't believe this...

2018/12/17

"When the leader of the African rebels starts to interrogate Santa Claus and his fairy friend as CIA spies - " is the start of a sentence that someone must say after watching this film. Shortly afterwards it's "then his kids grab some guns to free Santa from the rebels". WTF? I Believe in Santa Claus(or J'ai rencontré le Père Noël in the original French) is a baffling film that turns out is just a vehicle for soundtrack sales that led to a Milli Vanilli situation - so possibly

1:27:05

Deck the Halls - Your dick is out

2018/12/11

When it comes to the Christmas Flop, there's not too many floppier than 2006's Deck the Halls. I could be the groan-inducing jokes, the two one-time (and future) A-listers with their careers on the skids, or the really cliche and played plot. But mostly it's just that you hate the characters and want them to explode in a ball of fire. Both of these men are horrible people. Which works great in a forum like Always Sunny but not so much in the yearly family outing at the movie theater with the

1:54:07

Batman Returns - Without Batman!

2018/12/04

Well if Die Hard is an Xmas Movie well so is this turd. Batman makes his debut on the show, yet manages to avoid being in the Batman movie. Catwoman is the un-sexy. Walkan doesn't Walkan out and Danny Devito gets thrown under the bus. Everything people think about this film is wrong. First off, and here's you breaking point - BATMAN ISN'T IN THE BATMAN MOVIE!!! At the 1 hour mark, Batman has only been in the "Batman" movie for 123 seconds. Second off, Catwoman is sold hard to be sexy. But she's

1:35:45

The Happening - No One Knows

2018/11/26

The film that puts you directly into the mind of the characters and the writer/director at the same time - you'll feel confusion and without direction. By the end you'll be giving the same answer as the movie - "I don't know!" Not even M. Knight can say what this movie is directly about. Ask him 6 different times and you'll get 6 different answers. One could put this into the sub-genre of disaster movies, but please, someone tell us definitively what the disaster is. The best that can be done is

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