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1:22:00

Air Force One - OMG DON'T LET THAT HIGH GUY FLY THE...

2025/11/17

“Air Force One” is the kind of movie that grabs you by the collar, shouts “GET OFF MY PLANE,” and dares you not to grin through the whole ride. It’s the most unabashedly earnest “Fly Hard” ever committed to film—yes, it’s Die Hard on a plane, and yes, it knows it. Yet somehow, through sheer force of will (and Harrison Ford’s presidential scowl), it keeps its two-plus hours aloft with crowd-pleasing momentum.Sure, the premise is absurd to the point of parody: the President of the United States

1:23:16

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai - And the Snooze...

2025/10/13

There’s a great movie hiding somewhere inside The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai—but you’ll need a map, a microscope, and probably a flux capacitor to find it. Despite its gloriously weird premise and a cast that includes Peter Weller, Jeff Goldblum, John Lithgow, and Christopher Lloyd, the film feels like the cinematic equivalent of someone dumping every genre into a blender and forgetting to hit “mix.” What could have been a clever cult adventure ends up as a directionless mishmash that mistakes

1:24:29

Cabin Pressure - As boring as that guy who talks to...

2025/10/02

“Cabin Pressure” (2003) is the cinematic equivalent of being stuck on the tarmac forever with a dying paperback and a screaming air vent. It’s not just dull; it’s aggressively, proudly dull—an unviewable mess that mistakes droning cockpit chatter and recycled stock footage for suspense. If turbulence were interesting, this movie would still find a way to taxi around it.From the opening minutes, the film announces its priorities: beige sets, beige lighting, beige characters speaking in acronyms

1:13:00

Wanted: Dead or Alive - Making Bon Jovi look like Mozart

2025/08/18

Rutger Hauer and Gene Simmons squaring off sounds like the recipe for a wild cult classic, but Wanted: Dead or Alive (1987) ends up being more lukewarm than explosive. On paper, it’s a hybrid of gritty crime thriller and high-octane action flick, but the way those genres are handled here creates a constant tug-of-war. The crime elements are played too straight, dragging the pacing down, while the action beats aren’t stylish or kinetic enough to pull the film into popcorn territory. The

1:17:25

Final Destination 2: But this time, death is going in...

2025/07/21

Final Destination 2 is a symphony of stupidity—and I mean that as a compliment. It’s the kind of gloriously dumb horror sequel that knows exactly what it is, knows exactly what you came for, and wastes not a single moment trying to be anything more. This is 90 minutes of elaborate, Rube Goldberg murder machines soaked in blood and irony, gleefully cooked up for maximum squirm, scream, and laugh-out-loud shock value. It’s dumb, it’s low-brow, and it’s absolutely perfect at being both.The movie

1:24:58

Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 - Tray tables up?

2025/06/16

If you’re in the mood for a mid-altitude crisis that checks every air disaster box without ever pushing the emergency slide of insanity, Rough Air: Danger on Flight 534 is the in-flight entertainment you never asked for—but might not mind watching with a bag of stale pretzels. This 2001 made-for-TV thriller stars Eric Roberts, who delivers one of the most aggressively disinterested performances in a movie about a plummeting death tube ever recorded. And yet, somehow, the film still finds a way to

1:39:24

Year in Review - Year 10!

2025/06/02

This special episode we go through our favorite bad and cult movies from our 10th year in podcasting. We'll also give our favorite 3 movies from the year 2024.

1:21:29

12 to Midnight - Bronzi and the case of who killed...

2025/05/05

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Charles Bronson had to hunt a werewolf and decided to play detective instead of hanging from Torino’s rooftops, “12 to Midnight” is here to answer that question with all the subtlety of a silver bullet to the jaw.Robert Bronzi leans so hard into his Charles Bronson impersonation you half expect him to growl “Don’t pull that stunt on me, pal” at every suspect. His trademark scowl is in full force, but the script

56:13

Episode 627 - The March 2025 Unspecial!

2025/03/09

On this special episode the three of us sit down for a serious intervention - from bad movies! We discuss the Oscars winners that none of us saw. Wicked makes Jackie throw up. Sam praises Slow Horses and Gary Oldman's farting. We get an old staple of Pop Quiz, Hotshot. Sam complains about the supreme lack of Jello in our lives and Justin brings in a FilmStory about a dead director - WHO DUN IT!?Enjoy and see you in a couple weeks!

1:31:34

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal. This plane's going down...

2025/03/03

Ah, Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal. A film so magnificently, obliviously ridiculous that it could only exist in the pre-9/11 era, where the greatest threat to air travel wasn’t terrorism, but satanic heavy metal concerts broadcast live from a 747. Yes, that’s the plot. And no, it does not get any smarter from there. Let’s start with the hero we never asked for: Slade Craven (yes, that’s his real name), a Marilyn Manson knockoff who looks like Hot Topic threw up on a scarecrow. This man struts onto the

1:36:12

Dancing Ninja - Sho Kosugi should've popped and...

2025/02/17

Fact: Real ninjas throughout history used jazz hands to assassinate their targets."Dancing Ninja" might not be everyone's cup of tea, but if you're into a movie that revels in its own absurdity, you'll find a lot to love here. The film's corny jokes hit just the right note, and its satire—though subtle at times—adds a clever twist that keeps you on your toes. Every member of the cast and crew clearly put a tremendous amount of effort into the project, infusing each scene with passion

1:40:02

A Murder of Crows - Just sell your novel and use the...

2025/02/03

A Murder of Time - The old "write a best-selling novel and give it to your enemy for revenge" caper"A Murder of Crows" is a nonsensical thriller that manages to take an interesting premise and turn it into a complete mess. The plot centers around a "corrupt" lawyer named Lawson, played by Cuba Gooding Jr., who, after being framed for a murder he didn't commit, goes down a rabbit hole of trying to find out who did it. Rather than doing the smart thing—turning the evidence over to the authorities—he

1:21:41

Fanatic (AKA Last Horror Film) - Movie can't decide...

2025/01/13

Give that Joe guy a raise! Everything else though....Fanatic, released in 1982 and later distributed by Troma under the title The Last Horror Film, is an ambitious yet confused attempt at blending psychological thriller, horror, satire, and social commentary. Directed by David Winters, the film follows Vinny Durand (Joe Spinell), a socially awkward taxi driver in New York who dreams of becoming a Hollywood filmmaker. Vinny's obsession with horror star Jana Bates (Caroline Munro) takes a dark turn

1:42:34

Fair Game - See - Divorce court can get you killed....

2025/01/06

"Fair Game" is the cinematic equivalent of a rollercoaster ride designed by someone who forgot to include safety measures, plot coherence, or the laws of physics—and somehow, it’s a blast to watch. Starring William Baldwin as Miami cop Max Kirkpatrick and Cindy Crawford as Kate McQuean, a sexy lawyer who becomes the inexplicable target of a rogue KGB faction, this movie is a glorious 90 minutes of car chases, explosions, and dialogue so wooden it could be used to build a log cabin.The

2:02:33

Happy New Year - My mind is bonkers, because you...

2024/12/30

Don't have enough plot to get to 3 hours? Just restate the plot of the movie 3 times and give your movie an hour of free time. "Happy New Year" has all the makings of an enjoyable Bollywood blockbuster—a promising story, decent acting, likable characters, and a handful of genuinely fun sequences. On paper, this sounds like a surefire recipe for entertainment. However, the film quickly falls prey to the worst habits of Bollywood: unnecessary bloat, juvenile execution, and a lifeless narrative that

1:37:12

Elves - My grandpa is Heinrich Himmler? And he's my...

2024/12/23

It's really no wonder the Nazis lost the war. They are just too stupid. Antichristmas! If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if a department store Santa got tangled up in a Nazi plot involving an evil elf, virgin sacrifice, and the Fourth Reich, then boy, do I have the movie for you. Elves (1989) isn’t just a bad movie—it’s a certifiable fever dream of absurdity, incompetence, and the kind of misguided ambition that makes it impossible to look away. Strap in, folks, because this isn’t your

1:39:25

Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation - Start by...

2024/12/16

It's definitely not "garbage day" at Kim's place. Get a broom, woman! Oh, Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation. Where do I even begin with this glorious, messy fever dream of a movie? This isn't just bad—it's transcendentally bad. The kind of bad that rockets past mere mediocrity into the stratosphere of so-bizarre-you-can’t-look-away. It’s like a snowglobe filled with pure nonsense, shaken up, and dumped all over the screen. Let’s start with the story—or whatever approximation of a story this

1:11:40

Black Friday - Does not star Ice Cube, racist

2024/11/25

So the kaiju is a half-turkey/half-shopper hybrid. That helps.... a little.Black Friday had the potential to be a fun and memorable addition to the horror-comedy genre. The premise of retail workers battling zombified Black Friday shoppers is clever, relatable, and ripe for satirical commentary on consumer culture. Unfortunately, the execution leaves much to be desired, resulting in a film that struggles to rise above mediocrity. While the movie isn’t outright terrible, it’s glaringly uncreative

1:48:07

Alone in the Dark - Or Just Close the Damn Door!

2024/11/18

What is the point of any of this??? What does life even mean anymore?!?! Watching Alone in the Dark is like stepping into a surreal nightmare where logic, talent, and coherence take a permanent vacation. Directed by Uwe Boll, the film somehow manages to turn a moderately creepy video game series into a cinematic trainwreck so inexplicably bad it’s almost mesmerizing. Let’s start with Tara Reid, whose performance as "Dr. Aline Cedrac" is the kind of thing you’d expect from someone who Googled

1:40:12

A Return to Salem's Lot - Wonder how they address...

2024/11/11

What happens when a B-list horror film tackles small town romance, anthropology, and…vampire bureacracy? This movie takes us to a vampire-infested Salem's Lot, where the acting is about as wooden as the stakes they should be driving into these vamps’ chests. The lead actors deliver their lines with the enthusiasm of someone half-listening to a bad knock-knock joke, and I swear the child actor spent more time looking at the camera than playing a convincing kid. But it doesn’t matter, because that’s

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