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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

19:21

Amphicoelias, the One Hollow on Both Sides

Paleo Bites ·

2020/12/15

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Amphicoelias_3a81.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Amphicoelias, a dinosaur once thought to have reached absolutely godly sizes but then science had to be all lame and progress. From the Late Jurassic, this 90-foot diplodocid sauropod is the biggest anticlimax in paleontological history, having been downgraded from a nigh-mythical titan to a large-ish commonfolk. Wah-waaah. Want to further support the show? Sign up to

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18:46

Gigantopithecus, the Giant Ape

Paleo Bites ·

2020/12/08

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gigantopithecus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Gigantopithecus, the closest nature has come to King Kong. From the Late Pleistocene, this 12-foot-tall ape lived in the few jungles that weathered the dry Ice Age climate and tore people's arms off if they beat them at space chess. Oh wait, that's Chewbacca. My mistake. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content here. Also, you can

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20:49

Zby, of Georges Zbyszewski

Paleo Bites ·

2020/12/01

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/744642119611063504/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Zby, a longneck dinosaur with a name so unfathomably silly there's no way in hell it should be real. From the Late Jurassic, this 59-foot turiasaurian sauropod roamed in great herds across the Portuguese coastline... sorry, I can't help but snicker. "A herd of Zby roams across the coastline." Try hearing Kenneth Branagh say that in a documentary! Want to further support the

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19:46

Nuralagus rex, the Rabbit King

Paleo Bites ·

2020/11/24

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/sanciusart/art/Nuralagus-rex-recon-808748972) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Nuralagus rex, a large relative of rabbits that's maybe overcompensating a bit by having rex as a species name. From the Pliocene epoch, this 3-foot lagomorph lived on a remote island in the Mediterranean where it promptly became an evolutionary dead-end and went extinct as soon as there were any changes to its ecosystem. Lame. Want to further

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20:57

Atrociraptor, the Savage Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2020/11/17

(image source: https://www.deviantart.com/hamish1512201/art/Atrociraptor-Marshalli-842072048) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Atrociraptor, a genus name so edgy that Shadow the Hedgehog would think it's too much. From the Late Cretaceous period, this 7-foot dromaeosaurid lasted until 67 million years ago, just before the big Cretaceous extinction event. It was so cool, it knew exactly when to leave. We should all aspire to be like Atrociraptor. Want to further support

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27:18

Palaeoloxodon, the Ancient Cross Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2020/11/10

(image source: https://ideas.fandom.com/wiki/Palaeoloxodon_recki_(SciiFii)) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Palaeoloxodon, a genus of elephant that had species ranging from the biggest land mammals of all time to miniature ones the size of large dogs. From the Late Pleistocene, this 3 to 18-foot-tall pachyderm was the closest real-life version of the mumakil from Lord of the Rings. In fact, Tolkien said in the original text that they were specifically the size of prehistoric

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22:33

Hallucigenia, the Dreamlike One

Paleo Bites ·

2020/11/03

(image source: https://www.sciencephoto.com/media/934675/view/hallucigenia-sparsa-invertebrate-illustration) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Hallucigenia, the most WTF species ever featured on this podcast, and that's saying something. From the Mid Cambrian, this 1-inch invertebrate may have been a velvet worm, an early arthropod, or a more bygone creature, but one thing it certainly was is... actually, I have no idea. Seriously, what the hell is this thing?! Want to

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21:00

Lystrosaurus, the Shovel Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/10/27

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lystrosaurus_Assemblage_Zone) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Lystrosaurus, a derpy-looking thing that survived the biggest extinction of all time and at one point made up over half (!) of all life on Earth. From the Late Permian to the Early Triassic, this 4-foot synapsid was without doubt one of the most underrated badasses of all paleontology, which is really saying something, because look at this thing. It's so ugly. What

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20:23

Plesiosaurus, the Near Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/10/20

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plesiosaurus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Plesiosaurus, the famous four-flippered fellow that may or may not have surviving populations in a certain Scottish lake. From the Early Jurassic, this 12-foot sauropterygid had a unique method of swimming unseen in any modern creature. Unless, of course, the Scotland thing is true. Which it isn't. Or is it?! Nah, it isn't. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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17:34

Xunmenglong, the Swift Dragon

Paleo Bites ·

2020/10/13

(image source: http://www.xinhuanet.com/english/2019-11/28/c_138590619.htm) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Xunmenglong, a tiny dinosaur from China and the last of our Paleo Bites X-Series. From the Early Cretaceous, this 1.5-foot compsognathid is not to be confused with the similarly-named Yunmenglong, a big longneck dinosaur from a similar time and place. That's just one letter away! Like, the next letter down alphabetically. Eh, whatever. Want to further support the

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25:24

Xenoposeidon, the Strange Earthquake God

Paleo Bites ·

2020/10/06

(image source: https://cooldinofacts.fandom.com/wiki/Xenoposeidon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Xenoposeidon for our Paleo Bites X-Series, a longneck that has bar none the coolest name of any dinosaur. From the Early Cretaceous, this 50-foot rebbachisaurid had its fossils first discovered in the late nineteenth century but it wasn't officially described until 2007! And I thought my procrastinating was bad. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for

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23:19

Xibalbaonyx, the Claw of the Mayan Underworld

Paleo Bites ·

2020/09/29

(image source: https://www.careerride.com/mchoice/fossil-remains-of-xibalbaonyx-oviceps-a-prehistoric-giant-sloth-found-30773.aspx) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Xibalbaonyx for our Paleo Bites X-Series, a ground sloth first uncovered from an underwater cave in Mexico, which is pretty neat. From the Late Pleistocene, this 11-foot megalonychid was part of a group of sloths that island hopped all the way to North America even before it collided with its ancestral South

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30:44

Xuanhanosaurus, the Xuanhan Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/09/22

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/xuanhanosaurus_01_698f.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Eilert discuss Xuanhanosaurus for our Paleo Bites X-Series, a fierce predator from China that looks really cool when written out. From the Mid Jurassic period, this 16-foot metriacanthosaurid was briefly thought to be the only four-legged theropod in the fossil record, but that theory didn't last long because two-legged is way cooler and nature is all about being cool. Want

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21:33

Xiphactinus, the Sword Ray

Paleo Bites ·

2020/09/15

(image source: https://www.fossilera.com/pages/xiphactinus-terror-of-the-inland-seaway) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Xiphactinus for our Paleo Bites X-Series, a big and ugly fish that lived alongside mosasaurs. From the Late Cretaceous, this 21-foot predator is probably most famous for its "fish-within-a-fish" fossil, with a fish nearly half its size in its stomach. Not something I'd want to be known for, personally. I'm self-conscious enough about my diet as it is

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22:04

Xenosmilus, the Alien Knife

Paleo Bites ·

2020/09/08

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Xenosmilus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Franklin discuss Xenosmilus, the first in our X-Series on Paleo Bites where we rate creatures whose genus names begin with X. From the Late Pleistocene, this 6-foot saber-toothed cat prowled the jungles of southern USA with a pack of flying saucers at its back. Hey, it's called "alien knife," right? Give me this one. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive

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25:30

Amphicyon, the Ambiguous Dog

Paleo Bites ·

2020/09/01

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amphicyon) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Laura Owsley discuss Amphicyon, an ancestor of both bears and dogs but more dog than bear, hence the nickname "bear-dog." From the Miocene epoch, this 8-foot carnivore was probably a really good boy and would make an excellent pet. Just think of how big his doghouse would be! Who's a good boy? Yes, you are, Amphicyon! Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus

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17:09

Prototaxites, the Early Yew

Paleo Bites ·

2020/08/25

(image source: https://www.allisleaf.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Untitled-8.png) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Prototaxites, a funny-looking organism that formed forests before there were trees. From the Silurian period, this 26-foot-tall fungus was the subject of a great debate between two paleontologists trying to one-up each other about classifying it. You could almost say they were trying to see whose... Prototaxites was bigger? Yeah, that works. Want to

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26:49

Brachiosaurus, the Arm Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/08/18

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/papo_brachiosaurus_2012_cf3f.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Brachiosaurus, a really big longneck that wowed audiences in 1993 as much as that really big spaceship wowed audiences in 1977. From the Late Jurassic, this 70-foot sauropod browsed from the tall trees and may or may not have had a little trunk. Just a random hypothesis. Makes more sense than the crest of Parasaurolophus being a snorkel. Want to further

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21:24

Quetzalcoatlus, of the Aztec Serpent God

Paleo Bites ·

2020/08/04

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Quetzalcoatlus) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Quetzalcoatlus, the pterosaur that stood as tall as a giraffe when on the ground, which is freaking insane. From the Late Cretaceous, this 44-foot-wingspan azhdarchid could have flown for tens of thousands of miles and picked up small dinosaurs with its beak. Seriously, everything about this thing seems too big to be real. It shouldn't exist. I'm putting my foot down,

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320 results

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