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1:48:47

Howard the Duck - What is it?

2018/11/21

It's been a long time coming and it's now finally time to delve into the complexities of the dark comedy/action thriller about a duck, man. George Lucas puts on his producer hat and then proceeds to lose all the money. Howard the Duck is one of the hardest films we've ever had to review. Not because its that hard to watch (although it's chock full of groan worthy moments), but just because it's so hard to determine what the heck it is. Is it a kids movie? Is it a comedy? What's the moral or the

45:24

The Charles Bronson Unspectacular

2018/11/12

Justin and Sam fly solo with Jackie being served Brundle-Steak in St. Louis. Instead of bumping Sam's segment week after week, he's getting his own show to discuss 15 Charles Bronson movies - hope you like guys that don't act! Bronson Reviews - ALL on Amazon Prime Farewell, Friend Rider in the Rain The Mechanic Mr. Majestyk Death Wish (again) Love and Bullets Death Wish II (again) 10 to Midnight The Evil That Men Do Death Wish 3 (again) Death Wish 4: The Crackdown Streaming Do's and

1:34:44

Howling II: Wait..hold on. MY Sister's a Werewolf?

2018/10/29

Buckle up for banana business as were-monkey-wolves try to throw a killer birthday party. Every body is invited. Leave your head at the door. It'll be a bloody good time. Ok..well unless Christopher Lee and some townies are party-crashers. Then you'll get shot up pretty good. When you put Reb Brown next to Sir Christopher Lee, and then have a bunch of guys inPlanet of the Apes costumes pretend (or not?) be werewolves, you're destined to have a mind-boggling mess on your hands. This thing is

1:41:21

Exorcist II: The Heretic - Satan is a nepotistic boss

2018/10/22

Six (count them - SIX!) Oscar nominated actors took a look at this garbage script and STILL signed up to do it. It's absolutely nonsensical. It's painfully boring. And it ALL sucks butt. Blech. It's like they tried to say something in this film but had no idea what that was before they reached the end of the writing, so they just crammed in a bunch of nonsense to try to make a statement. If anyone can decipher what that statement is.... The acting stinks but not in a fun way. It looks like garbage

1:33:53

The Midnight Man - He's a lonely monster, be his friend.

2018/10/15

A couple ding-dongs find a box with some stuff in it, so their only choice is to summon a crappy version of Slender Man and have him chase them around until 3:33am. Meanwhile you've got Grandma upstairs complaining about the trouble-makers in Selma, absolutely no reward if you beat the game, and a villain with dubious intentions. Hope you all like lengthy rules! Soooo many rules! The length of the rules of summoning Midnight Man need to have a team of professional editors go through them. You might

1:23:50

The Return of Swamp Thing - You got owned, Wes

2018/10/08

How do you follow up Wes Craven's directing? You call Jim Wynorski? And he totally shows Wes how its done? Wow. Fan-Fave Jim showcases how you have fun with a failed superhero property. Replace Zach Snyder right now, DC! The polarization between the two versions of Swamp Thing is night and day. It's known within the first 15 seconds as shown by the opening scroll: "Once upon a time....in the swamp!" Boom. Then 8 minutes later we get a real vision of what we are in for - a Swamp Thing costume

1:26:03

Swamp Thing - Budget in the Bayou!

2018/10/01

Nothing says the follow-up to Superman like a budget movie, right? It's that weird mix of camp, bad costumes, a busty lady, and villians of dubious intent. Oh, and it's also a fairy-tale love story. WTF isSwamp Thing? It's surprisingly bad. Nothing can prepare you for how crummy this film is. You've got all the pieces that should make for an OK movie - the established Wes Craven only 2 years before his masterpiece. Adrienne Barbeau hot off her run of John Carpenter films, Ray Wise on his way to

1:42:09

Collision Course - Not Rush Hour

2018/09/24

Nothing says comedy team-up like when a street-wise cop has to be the American ambassador to a martial-arts packing fellow officer from the East to take down an international crime syndicate. Boy that sounds familiar. Unfortunately for everyone involved, this is NOT Rush Hour. All uncanny resemblance toRush Houraside, there's not a lot here folks. It's very unfunny (groan-worthy) and pretty uneventful until the last 1/4 (when the movie shifts into a totally dark tone). Its a very slow and rough

1:29:53

Rent-a-Cop - Oh Burt...

2018/09/11

We setup our tribute to the dearly missed Burt Reynolds with an examination of his first Razzie nomination as "bored actor who doesn't want to be in the same film as Liza Minnelli". It's like Sharky's Machine meets A Star is Born. Does that work for a bad movie "do"? Let's get straight to the bad - the big bad is Liza. She's insufferable. It's not completely her fault as the script calls for the most annoying person ever as the "love interest" for hunky Burt - because that's how all cop movies

1:29:56

Predator 2 - Murtaugh vs the teenage alien

2018/09/04

In what appears to be a Predator version of a bar-mitzvah, Captain Murtaugh has to scratch his head and whisper to himself about things he sees in front of him to stop a bunch of gang-members with mega-guns and voodoo powers from getting their spines ripped out. Oh! AND Bill Paxton! A movie with a 8 foot tall alien who rips people's spines out, Danny Glover, Bill Paxton and Gary Busey sounds like about the hottest thing that's ever existed. Sign me the hell up and lets get stupid! Well hold

1:34:39

Slender Man - Not the trees! Not the trees!

2018/08/27

A faceless board-room guy (probably the one that fired James Gunn) is also a tree-man, octopus, tarantula with very dubious motivations, but likely he's actually the ghost of Chalton Heston, arboriculturist. Slender Man the movie was doomed before it came out the gate. There is no way to pay this much fan service to the original creepy-pasta while trying to make a sensical story. Once you put Slender Man into an environment that must have some sort of back-story and character motivations and that

1:33:18

St. Elmo's Fire - The Everest of Unholy Buttholes

2018/08/20

When you look up pretentious, self-obsessed, socially awful, and completely uninterested in benefiting mankind in anyway in the dictionary (you can look those terms up, right?) then you see a picture of the "brat pack" from this clinic in deplorability. I hate these people. Not one can be redeemed. Its horrifying how awful they are and how their awfulness is not the focus of the movie. This is one of those jobbers where people (who are just as awful) will say, "This is it. This shows the challenges

1:34:30

Miami Connection - Ninjas, drugs, music and fashion!

2018/08/13

We take one of the most beloved stinkers of the last decade and find a new reason to justify the entire plot - a rumble to the death over the most important theme of the 1980's - high fashion. Miami Connectionis at the top of the list for most fans of crummy films and this is no accident. It's truly one of the most accessible bad movies of all time. Where some may struggle to viewThe Room andFateful Findings there is something for everyone in YK Kim's masterpiece, especially those from the 80's or

47:38

The Stinker Madness "Sorry about this Week, Get Ready...

2018/08/08

This week we manage to not be able to view Miami Connection thanks to randy critters. So instead Sam and Justin discuss drinking children, seagulls, #goatpocalypse, Neil Breen's Twister Pair trailer, a new Great Superpower Debate, reviews of Transformations, Hologram Man, WuTang vs Ninja, and Sam invents a drunk game called "Who is THE GUY?"

1:21:06

To Catch a Yeti - And a Child Murderer

2018/07/30

We've got a monster-bud on our hands in the most notable work of Meatloaf's career. When the world's greatest hunter gets hired by a rich family to catch a yeti, he gets thwarted by a little girl whose clothes don't fit. Everyone is going to jail here. One might go into this thinking that you're about to be tortured for an hour and a half, alaMac and Me, orC.H.O.M.P.S., well you're sorta right. This movie is as expected godawful, but somehow it dodges being in the bottom of the barrel. It manages

1:27:52

American Hunter - Don't date Jake. He's a jerk.

2018/07/23

Robert Mitchum's kid freelances his way into a "get the ninja tape" situation and into Janet's heart all while being WAY above the law and murdering many innocent people. Expect some shenanigans in this super-budget movie out of Indonesia. One of a kind in it's repetition and recurring themes, American Hunter (Lethal Hunter in Europe) is a classic super-budget action film with very poorly thought-out plot elements. Behold the final list of incredibly weird repeating onscreen events: 4 - The

1:46:44

The Hurricane Heist - They still are making movies...

2018/07/16

The US Dept of Treasury hires an ATF agent and some "Army guys" to protect $600 million on its way to a giant paper shredder. Then some baddies try to steal it. Set to the backdrop of a physically impossible hurricane. The only thing in their way? A weatherman and is mechanic brother. Too early to whisper SMABFA? This movie is crap. Whether its enjoyable crap is a topic for debate, which we'll get into, but it's absolute crap. Fans of bad movies MUST see this film. It's astounding that we are still

1:27:29

Rampage - Giant Ape Balls Ahead!

2018/07/09

Dwayne is back into being the charming, super-ripped, former Special Forces, who has more ability to punch a monster in the face than follow social norms. This time he's playing the role of 15th guy from the 4th level of the original video game. Plus 3 monsters destroy Chicago and Don Jr. makes his acting debut. Thanks to the incredibly bad decisions of corporate scientist CEOs (whatever that is), we are treated to three genetically mutated former critters that eventually get to big and start

1:45:06

Foodfight! - Sanctioned by the United Nations

2018/07/02

Some people have no business making movies. Some people who have no business making movies REALLY have no business making animated movies. Foodfight! is a travesty. The UN should have sent inspectors into the production and placed sanctions against it. The Canadian Army should have liberated the people working on it from their captors. It's that bad. Ok, so we know it's really bad. The animation is atrocious and the jokes are cringe-worthy. That's all been said. Let's get into this a little

1:25:23

Deathstalker II - Are you adopted?

2018/06/25

Like that weird kid that doesn't look anything like his parents, you may be thinking he's a weirdo and should be avoided. But then you bump into him at the punch bowl and realize he's one cool dude. That's Deathstalker II. Once again, Jim Wynorski shows the world why he should be at the top of the list of directors who make budget films. While most similar directors are given a project like this and just crap it out for the paycheck (I'm talking to you, anyone who works for The Asylum) good ol' Jim

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