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PODCAST

Paleo Bites

Welcome to Paleo Bites, the weekly podcast hosted by Matthew Donald where we make dumb jokes, reference pop culture, derail like crazy, and oh yeah, discuss and rate dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Each episode Matthew and a rotating set of guest co-hosts talk about a different genus of primeval critter, explain basic stats, exchange plenty of banter, barely fact-check, and at the end, rate the creature one out of 65 million for any reason, including but not limited to sexiness, mana, and

comedy natural sciences

All Episodes

20:20

Stygimoloch, the River Demon of Styx

Paleo Bites ·

2020/07/28

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/stygimolochspinifer_bd81.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Stygimoloch, the totally valid genus that paleontology will not take away from us no matter what all those pesky facts say. From the Late Cretaceous, this 13-foot pachycephalosaurid had big spikes on its head that apparently shrunk as it grew up, which makes no sense; you got that, Jack Horner?! Hoo boy, I really need to let this go. Want to further support

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24:20

Castoroides, the Giant Beaver

Paleo Bites ·

2020/07/21

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Castoroides) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Castoroides, the largest beaver of all time and thus the biggest source of "dam" jokes. From the Pleistocene Epoch, this 6-foot beaver had bigger hind feet and a smaller paddle-tail than modern beavers and also might not have built dams, but if they did, they would've been the biggest damn dams you've ever seen! If you thought that was a bad joke, wait 'til you hear the actual

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18:25

Ninjadelphis, the Ninja Dolphin

Paleo Bites ·

2020/07/14

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arktocara)* Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Franklin discuss Ninjadelphis, a river dolphin that's high in the rankings of coolest genus names ever. From the Miocene epoch, this 7-foot cetacean is such an elusive master of stealth there's hardly any information available on it. This picture isn't even a Ninjadelphis, but it's close relative Arktocara! Our mission is clear, people: we're gonna put this creature on the map. Unless it tries

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29:23

Mosasaurus, the Meuse River Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/07/07

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Mosasaurus_b262.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Mosasaurus, the sea monster of yore that lurked at the edge of the map, so watch out, dinosaur sailors! From the Late Cretaceous, this 56-foot squamate was in the same order of reptiles as lizards and snakes, making it the closest real life version of a giant sea serpent. I wonder how Vikings would have fared against it? Poorly, very poorly I reckon. Want to further

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21:54

Titanoboa, the Titanic Boa

Paleo Bites ·

2020/06/30

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Titanoboa) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Titanoboa, the snake with a really uncreative name that weighed as much as a car. From the Paleocene epoch, this 42-foot constrictor just missed out on dinosaurs, so all that fan art you've seen of it crushing a T. rex or whatever was total nonsense. It's a cool image though, so who cares really? Oh yeah, paleontologists. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon

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27:17

Edmontosaurus, the Edmonton Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/06/23

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/Edmontosaurus_BW_0c44.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Edmontosaurus, the prime cannon fodder for T. rex attacks everywhere. From the Late Cretaceous, this 40-foot hadrosaur roamed in great herds across North America and had a hell of a complicated naming history. Ever heard of Anatotitan, or Anatosaurus, or Trachodon? All this guy. Get it together, paleontologists. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our

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21:26

Silvacola, the Tiny Forest Dweller

Paleo Bites ·

2020/06/16

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Silvacola) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Christina Franklin discuss Silvacola, the tiniest subject of the show so far, at least until we get around to discussing the first eukaryotic bacteria. From the Early Eocene, this 2-inch hedgehog lived in a great global rainforest and probably did absolutely nothing of note other than be cute. But that's all it needs! Just look at it, d'awww. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for

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24:50

Smilodon, the Saber Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2020/06/09

(image source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/783556035155570299/) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Smilodon, the famous saber-toothed tiger, except it wasn't a tiger, but then again a starfish isn't a fish either, so it's all just semantics. From the Pleistocene epoch, this 7-foot cat prowled the prairies of both North and South America as a participant of the Great American Interchange, which sounds either like some boring financial conglomerate or something far dirtier.

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21:15

Gigantspinosaurus, the Giant Spined Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/06/02

(image source: https://image.shutterstock.com/image-illustration/gigantspinosaurus-3d-illustration-260nw-434607592.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Gigantspinosaurus, a dinosaur that unfortunately isn't an even bigger Spinosaurus like its name might suggest. From the Late Jurassic, this 14-foot stegosaurid browsed peacefully in the forests of prehistoric China while trying very hard not to get themselves stuck between two trees. Seriously, how big do those shoulder

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27:59

Albertosaurus, the Alberta Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/05/26

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/300_lio_albertosaurus_df68.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Albertosaurus, the Canadian tyrannosaur with evidence of pack-hunting, which is pretty terrifying if you ask me. From the Late Cretaceous, this 32-foot theropod utterly demolishes the image of polite Canadian culture, unless those large, sharp teeth were meant for helping other dinosaurs open beer bottles. You can't rule it out! Want to further support the

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21:28

Dunkleosteus, the Bone of Dunkle

Paleo Bites ·

2020/05/19

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunkleosteus#/media/File:Dunkleosteus_terrelli_-_MUSE.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Dunkleosteus, the literally boneheaded fish that haunted the nightmares of early sharks. From the Late Devonian, this 26-foot placoderm not only preyed on anything it could get its plated teeth on, but also might have been an early example of giving live birth. So that's weird. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for

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24:27

Sauroniops, the Eye of Sauron

Paleo Bites ·

2020/05/12

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/sauroniops_pachytholus_by_malvit-d5knpiu_778a.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Sauroniops, servant of Morgoth and conqueror of Middle-Earth, or at least the Middle Cretaceous. From the, well, Mid Cretaceous, this 42-foot carcharodontosaurid was the one lord of the rings, and he does not share power! Well actually, he did; he lived alongside other predators like Suchomimus and Spinosaurus, so there was plenty of predator

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24:56

Canis dirus, the Dire Wolf

Paleo Bites ·

2020/05/05

(image source: https://dinopedia.fandom.com/wiki/Dire_Wolf?file=Direwolf1.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Canis dirus, the giant wolf ridden by orcs if dorky fantasy stories are to be believed. From the Late Pleistocene, this 5-foot dog hunted mastodons and ground sloths while competing with saber-toothed cats for the rank of dominant predator. Because even in prehistoric times, cats and dogs are never friends. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book

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18:49

Vulcanodon, the Volcano Tooth

Paleo Bites ·

2020/04/28

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/vulcanodonNT_249c.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Vulcanodon, the dinosaur representative of the United Federation of Planets if the name is any indication. From the Early Jurassic, this 21-foot sauropod was one of the earliest true sauropods and primarily worked in the science division of the U.S.S. Enterprise... sorry, I can't help the Star Trek jokes! Live long and prosper! Or be like dinosaurs and go extinct..

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19:58

Purussaurus, the Purus River Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/04/21

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purussaurus#/media/File:Purussaurus_BW.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Purussaurus, a dino-sized croc living smack-dab in the middle of the Age of Mammals. From the Miocene epoch, this 40-foot caiman lurked in the rivers of South America, which makes it really tempting to jump in the ocean instead. Oh, whoops, this is also when C. megalodon lived. I guess it was just a bad time all around. Also, you can purchase Matthew

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26:00

Dracorex, the Dragon King

Paleo Bites ·

2020/04/14

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Dracorex_BW.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lexi Ryan discuss Dracorex, the Dragon King of Hogwarts according to its full scientific name Dracorex hogwartsia, which is pretty damn nerdy. From the Late Cretaceous, this 12-foot herbivore was totally valid and not a young Pachycephalosaurus; you hear that, Jack Horner?! Huh? You're not taking away the Dragon King of Hogwarts, you hear?! Who needs science and evidence when you have a cool

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17:26

Anomalocaris, the Abnormal Shrimp

Paleo Bites ·

2020/04/07

(image source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anomalocaris#/media/File:Anomalocaris2019.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Natasha Krech discuss Anomalocaris, the first super-predator in Earth's history, albeit "super" only compared to everything else at the time. From the Early Cambrian, this 3-foot radiodont ate plenty of delicious things while simultaneously looking delicious itself. Seriously, imagine this thing fried and breaded and served with cocktail sauce! My mouth is watering just

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21:46

Pachycephalosaurus, the Thick-Headed Lizard

Paleo Bites ·

2020/03/31

(image source: https://images.dinosaurpictures.org/pachycephalosaurus_l_c101.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Lawrence Mack discuss Pachycephalosaurus, the cueball-headed lizard that had a thick skull and a bad attitude; cue the stock joke of comparing it to some people you know. From the Late Cretaceous, this 15-foot herbivore apparently grew up with big spikes around its head that it somehow lost as it matured, according to Jack Horner. But what does he know? More than us, probably

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23:55

Helicoprion, the Spiral Saw

Paleo Bites ·

2020/03/24

(image source: https://www.newdinosaurs.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/820_helicoprion_kezrek.jpg) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Allen Brooks discuss Helicoprion, the buzzsaw shark-like fish that's seriously metal. From the Early Permian, this 35-foot eugeneodontid sliced through fish and squids with the most hardcore set of pearly whites this side of... well, actual sharks. Also, you can purchase Matthew Donald's dinosaur book "Megazoic" on Amazon by clicking here, its sequel "Megazoic:

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23:30

Sinraptor, the Chinese Thief

Paleo Bites ·

2020/03/17

(image source: https://pixels.com/featured/sinraptor...) Host Matthew Donald and guest co-host Ben O'Regan discuss Sinraptor, Matthew's favorite dinosaur for some reason and the star of his Megazoic books. From the Late Jurassic period, this 22-foot metriacanthosaurid was the most awesome dinosaur ever based on our completely objective and totally non-biased analysis. Sorry, but facts are facts. Want to further support the show? Sign up to our Patreon for exclusive bonus content at

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320 results

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