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PODCAST

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle

I’m Anna Runkle, also known as the Crappy Childhood Fairy, and I teach people to recognize and heal the symptoms of Childhood PTSD. Welcome to my podcast!I’m not a doctor or therapist; I know about childhood trauma because I lived it, and I discovered a radical approach to healing that focuses first on calming neurological dysregulation, which is common in people who grew up with abuse and neglect. In my podcasts, I teach about dysregulation – how to know if you have it, what it can do to

education self-improvement

All Episodes

27:44

Out-of-Control Childhood Can Lead to Controlling...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/03/04

Nobody likes people who are controlling. Sometimes we all have to put up with controlling people because we have no one else to support us, or we need money, or, most often, because trauma trained us to tolerate control. But when you grew up with trauma, there can also be a tendency to BE controlling – maybe because you grew feeling things were so out of control it’s now like a reflex to hold people down, to make them predictable and “safe.” That’s not good either. In this video I teach

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94:34

These Triggers Are Connected With Neglect in Childhood

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/03/03

Trauma in childhood is caused by more than "abuse." Being neglected -- by parents or by your peers and community - can be just as damaging to well-being. In this 4-video compilation I share some of my most popular videos about neglect and the types of triggers that often result, potentially causing you to feel separate, anxious and isolated throughout your life. Healing is possible! In this video I teach you how to recognize triggers and begin healing them.Do You Struggle to Connect with

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13:55

Non-Romantic Maladaptive Attachment Can Fixate You on...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/03/01

LIMERENCE HAS BEEN DESCRIBED AS "an involuntary potentially inspiring state of adoration and attachment to a limerent object (LO) involving intrusive and obsessive thoughts, feelings and behaviors -- from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation". While not inherently sexual, limerence is almost always romantic in nature. However, it’s very possible to have adoration to the point of intrusive thoughts show up in an attachment to parental figures, or authorities,

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19:39

Trauma Healing Requires ACTION

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/28

If you’ve ever tried to get help for struggles in your life related to childhood trauma – you may have been told, pressured even, to spend time and money talking about the past – even if you’ve talked about the past or years -- even when you don’t feel that’s the problem right now. and even if you’re desperate to work on present problems, so you can be happier. There's a time to talk about what happened and a time to work on present day problems. In this video I respond to a letter from a

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21:12

Remove These Common Roadblocks to Trauma Healing

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/26

Be careful what you *believe* about Complex PTSD, because a lot of information out there is outdated and outright WRONG. When you read or seek professional help, I urge you to be very THOUGHTFUL about what information you let in. It's so important that you know the truth about what causes it, what it feels like, and what you can do to heal (it's better news than you might think!). In this video I talk you through the most common mistakes people make in their healing, and why it's so

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75:55

Common Symptoms You Didn't Know Are Trauma-Related...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/25

Some signs of trauma in your childhood are well known and easy to recognize in yourself. But some may be new to you. You may have gone through live feeling shame about your social awkwardness, or your behavior around romance, or your difficulties keeping focused on your own life and not getting sucked into the others' problems. In this 4-video compilation, I share some of my most popular videos on unusual symptoms of Complex PTSD.Do you have CPTSD? Take the QUIZ: FREE PDF Download:

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26:25

Too Much, Too Soon Ruins Your Chance to Get to Know...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/23

The way people date in our culture is like throwing spaghetti at a wall. It’s driven by attraction, it goes very fast toward sex, and then (especially if you have CPTSD or attachment wounds because of neglect in your childhood) you’re left totally dependent on the person to come through with the Steadfast love and commitment you expected to find you. But it’s actually very rare that real love finds you this way. What trauma may have taken from you is the clarity and discernment to KNOW what

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24:23

Childhood PTSD Makes You Confuse “Wants” With...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/22

A lot of people with Childhood PTSD were fed a steady diet of denial: Bad things things were happening and even if the parents weren’t DOING the bad things, they were incapable of noticing that something was terribly wrong. This may have injured your ability to see things as they are. To read the room. To understand where people are coming from when they say one thing, but do another. And Denial may have trained you to express your wishes, and then to become surprised and angry and CONFUSED

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17:03

CPTSD and The Sense of Disconnection

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/19

If you were neglected or abused when you were a kid, and you’ve struggled all your life to feel like you’re truly included in groups, this is a classic trauma symptom. Feeling like you don’t belong could happen to anyone, but it’s especially common in people who didn’t receive adequate time and love and connection from their parents. In this video I talk about the way this sense of disconnection begins, how it manifests in adult life, and what you can do to begin healing it. Do You Struggle

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70:10

Childhood Neglect and the Wound to Your Self-Esteem...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/18

When parents don't validate or support their children to confidently express themselves and solve life's problems, the wound to self-esteem can last a lifetime. Healing CPTSD involves recognizing and changing the feeling that you're no good, you don't belong, and you need to play small to avoid pain. In this four-video compilation I teach how early trauma can wound your confidence, and what you can do to heal and try again to find joy and accomplish goals for success in your life. Eleven

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14:59

To Experience REAL Love, Heal the Wounds From Parents...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/16

Here’s the hard truth about the wounds of CPTSD and trauma: Some of the things you didn’t GET as a child, can’t be fixed directly. We can’t go back in time. We can’t be children again to receive the proper love and care we needed then. And we can’t save people we lost. But we CAN learn to fill our lives with love and support NOW, and start working on the triggers, and the distorted thinking, and the self-defeating behaviors that are the natural byproduct of trauma in your childhood. When

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16:42

Attachment to Married or Long-Distance People Keeps...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/14

For people who were neglected as children, there’s this very damaging tendency to fall in love, but with the wrong people – those who are married, or so far away the whole relationship is online, or those who are not INTO you. If you’re very, very early in the healing process, it will seem like unavailable people just seem to HAPPEN to you. The truth is both wonderful and hard to hear. People with CPTSD often attach to those people because that’s what you’re attracted to. Our attractions

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22:18

CPTSD Triggers Set Off Three Types of Reactions:...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/12

Intense emotional reactions are common in people who were abused or neglected in childhood. They are set off by triggers (stimuli that cause neurological dysregulation), which then prompt emotional reactions, which then can lead to self-defeating behaviors. The behaviors are where you may be keeping your life stuck, and keeping yourself retraumatized. How can you stop? Focus on the reaction. Most emotional reactions fall into three categories In this video I teach how the sequence happens

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120:32

Emotional Neglect and the Lure of Unavailable People...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/11

Growing up without adequate time and care from parents is a form of trauma. In adulthood, it can leave you prone to choosing partners who ALSO starve you for love and attention. Whether you're fallen for someone who can't love you properly, or who is completely unavailable, your attachment to people who can't love you back will keep you stuck in grief, longing and isolation. In this 4-video compilation, I share four of my most popular responses to viewers' letters, coaching them to heal the

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22:38

Painful Romantic Obsession Means It’s Time for Damage...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/09

It’s normal and common for people who were neglected or abandoned in childhood to fall deeply in love with people who make them feel abandoned and unwanted ALL over again. That’s what limerence is – an obsession or infatuation with someone you can’t have – that becomes a full on addiction. And like all addictions, it can destroy everything meaningful in your life. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman how has let limerence run her life, and needs a way to change. The Signs of

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29:50

Trying to “Save” The People You Date Helps No One

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/07

The “Savior Complex” is a horrible obsession, where instead of getting to know someone and seeing if there is harmony and potential for you as friends or as partners – you immediately imagine a version of them that is DIFFERENT than what they are. And then you set about trying to make them INTO that imaginary person you have in mind. You might call this "helping" them, or "healing" them (for people with CPTSD, this is almost always the expression of a trauma wound), but really what’s going

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20:10

Childhood Trauma Damaged Your Ability to Tell What's...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/05

The trauma symptom that’s easy to recognize in other people, but SO hard to recognize in ourselves, is damaged perception. Childhood PTSD can make you unable to discern what is true and not true. You can't tell what is your responsibility and what is not your fault, when you’re in danger and when you're just anxious. You end up always doubting yourself -- trusting the wrong people, and failing to see red flags. In this video I teach you the signs that your perception is damaged, and walk

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69:32

Obsessive Love Has Roots in Childhood Trauma (4...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/04

Limerence is the term for obsessive love for someone you cannot have; it's more than a crush and more than being in love. As it gets stronger, it takes on the characteristics of an addiction. Some say the propensity toward limerence is genetic. Among the hundreds of letters I receive from people suffering with romantic obsession, most had an alcoholic parent, or parents who otherwise could not provide the loving care and attention that a person needs to form healthy attachments. In this

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20:57

Your Path to Success Opens When You Heal These Trauma...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/02/02

Many of us who were abused or neglected as kids are forced to keep our lives small, neglecting the best part of all we can become. Going for big goals takes vulnerability, persistence and the ability to connect with people with calm emotions. If you have CPTSD, any one of these can feel impossible. In this video I respond to a letter from a woman who can only be successful if she's willing to promote herself and be SEEN. Hear my advice to break through the wounds of trauma so she can

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23:13

Raging, Blaming, & Justifying Your Behavior Won’t...

The Crappy Childhood Fairy Podcast with Anna Runkle ·

2024/01/31

Part of healing from trauma is getting to the point where you can HONESTLY take responsibility for your behaviors (and trauma can activate some harsh behavior!). But just because bad things happened to you in the past, doesn’t mean it’s OK to lash out, or cop out, or try to control other people. Blaming other people, or “parts” of yourself is only going to push the people you’ve further away. If you want good relationships with other people, you’re going to have to do the hard work of

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