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PODCAST

The UnMothered Podcast

Phylis Mantelli

When life gives you a toxic mother, what do you do? You listen, learn, and change your direction! I’m Phylis Mantelli, author of the book “UnMothered: Life With A Mom Who Couldn’t Love Me.” This podcast is a place for mentoring and encouragement as we navigate the complexities of toxic parent relationships. Join me as I share my journey and invite God-filled guests to discuss emotional healing, overcoming childhood trauma, and personal growth. Together, we"ll explore new thoughts and patterns to

society & culture relationships

All Episodes

21:54

THE 100TH EPISODE!!! | Episode 100

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/03/31

How did we get to 100 episodes on this podcast already?Well, come listen and celebrate with me as I walk back down to the beginning of this journey! Thank you so much for being such a great support! I appreciate all my fellow UnMothered's and can't wait to chat with you all for the next 100 episodes!Let’s Connect!Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast https://www.instagram.com/theunmotheredpodcast/Phylis Mantelli’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/phylismantelli/Join the conversation in my private

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27:55

Were Some Moms Just Never Meant To Be Mothers? |...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/03/24

We have probably all heard the statement, "some moms were just never meant to be moms" but is that true? If you think of the worst toxic mom in your imagination, what would she look like?Some things I’ve been reading (and a few I’ve experienced) are “ignored, abusive, gaslighting, and mentally ill.”These kinds of moms are vital to go “no contact” with. It would be for your safety. This is a hard episode, so I am warning you, that you might want to skip it if you might be triggered.For the rest of

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26:30

Did You Grow Up Being The Mother To Your Mom? |...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/03/17

Are you responsible for being the mother to your mother?When you have grown up with someone who is very manipulative and needy, it can in some ways feel good. What you find is that over time, it is exhausting and there is no end to what they take from you emotionally, physically, and mentally.You should be the child, NOT the mother!How do you break away from this needy mom who makes you take care of her? Listen in because I have had a front-row seat to this kind of mother! Let’s Connect!Follow me on

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24:42

Healing From The Impact Of A Controlling Mother |...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/03/10

Let’s take a deep dive into the traits of a controlling mother.Did you grow up with a controlling mom and what exactly does that look like? How can it affect your self-esteem, decision-making, and relationships?While we may not be able to change our mothers, we can change how we react and set boundaries for ourselves. Drawing insights from Mothers Who Can’t Love by Susan Forward, PhD, we’ll explore the steps to healing, standing up for yourself, and breaking free from the emotional grip of a

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26:57

Growing Up Resilient But Trusting In Love | Episode 96

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/03/03

Do you always have to be the strong one? Being resilient is a powerful trait, but when it comes to love and relationships, it can also create walls. Many of us learned to be tough because of our upbringing, but real connection requires trust. Don’t let old narratives convince you you can only rely on yourself. Love thrives on trust—both in yourself and the right people. Let’s explore how to find the balance between strength and vulnerability.Let’s Connect!Follow me on IG: The UnMothered Podcast

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28:01

Is Your Mom Too Enmeshed in Your Adult Life? |...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/02/24

Does your mom think she’s your best friend? Some mother-daughter relationships blur the line between love and control, with moms inserting themselves into every aspect of their daughter’s life—where they live, what job they take, and even how they dress. Often, this stems from a deep fear of being left behind or an unfulfilled need to relive experiences through their child.While their intentions may not always be harmful, the emotional toll can be overwhelming. This episode unpacks the signs of an

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22:58

Understanding And Letting Go Of Your Mother Wound |...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/02/17

It’s not that your mom doesn't love you, it’s that she doesn’t know how to love you.Have you ever found yourself wondering, ‘Does my mom really love me?’ It’s a painful question that many of us with difficult mothers have asked. In this episode, I dive into the emotional and psychological impact of growing up with a mother who couldn’t love the way we needed.Inspired by Susan Forward’s book Mothers Who Can’t Love, I explore how understanding your mother’s past and patterns can be the key to healing

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28:47

How Our Body Can Hold Onto Our Past Traumas | Episode 93

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/02/10

Our bodies and minds are such an amazing tool, but it can also be damaged by trauma.When that happens, we can be doing life through a failed truth.Let’s explore how trauma affects our bodies and how it is a real dilemma that most people would rather ignore than face. When we can get real about what our body is feeling during stressful situations, we can start to become the person God has intended.Then we can change the habits that have been keeping us stuck in a faulty reality.Looking to connect

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19:15

The Truth Surrounding Generational Curses | Episode 92

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/02/03

Often you might hear: “God, why did this happen to me?”I believe there is a difference between blessings and curses and shifts in our lives.But, we are responsible for some of the choices we make. Also, sometimes things happen that we don’t see coming. But through it all God will work it out for you if you allow Him to be in charge.We need to start learning the difference between something you brought on yourself, versus something that was completely out of your control.We have an ego that gets in

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20:59

Because Of Your Past Trauma, Are You A People Pleaser...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/01/27

Do you do things out of genuine kindness or because you think people won’t like you if you don’t help?Are you a people pleaser or perfectionist? Have you ever asked yourself where that started and why?Helping others is a great quality but only if you do it out of love, not guilt or shame. Let’s find out who told you to be perfect at all times, and let’s start learning the word “no” out of love for yourself and others. Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group:

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27:59

My Year of Loss and Grief | Episode 90

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/01/20

A year of loss has taught me so many things about how different causes of death affect us and ultimately how we handle grief and loss.Also, the timeline for “getting over it” is this…there isn’t one!You have to allow God AND your body to work through grief. I will walk you through some things I have learned and how I feel about loss after a year of losing 3 loved ones in a short amount of time.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group:

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30:58

Are You Emily Lorelai or Rory; Gilmore That Is |...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/01/13

Are you team Lorelai team Emily or maybe even Rory?If you are familiar with the show “Gilmore Girls” you know these characters well.The mother/daughter/granddaughter dynamic had me glued to the show. Whenever there is a mother/daughter storyline, I’m ready to watch and observe. So my question is “which mom is right?”You will have to listen to this episode to find out, but one thing is for sure…there is more than one side to the story.Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE

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25:01

A Big THANK YOU PEEPS For Your Support As We Head...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2025/01/06

What do your dreams look like and are you ready to make them happen in 2025?Do you know how much you have helped my dreams come true by supporting this podcast?Grateful is an understatement, but today I want to help you fulfill something in your heart that you have been wanting to do. It’s coming up on a new year and you don’t want to waste it by just dreaming about someday…make it happen!Never forget the people who will support and help you also. They are all around you, they want you to succeed

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01:07

Stay Tuned For Next Week With All New Episodes!

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/12/30

I will chat with you all next week in the new year, 2025, so exciting! We are having some fun things coming next year, like our 100th episode and so much more. Talk soon peeps!Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book: https://www.phylismantelli.com/shop/p/unmotheredThe

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01:08

We Are Taking December Off-See You In 2025!

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/12/02

Hi peeps! We are taking December off, but we will talk to you all soon in 2025! In the meantime, follow us on Instagram and let us know what topics you want to discuss in the new year. Hope you all have a great holiday season! Looking to connect with other UnMothered’s? Join the PRIVATE Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUnmotheredCommunityThis podcast is on YouTube now! Go watch this episode: https://www.youtube.com/@phylismantelli/podcastsPurchase a signed copy of my book:

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28:44

The Key To Setting Up A Successful & Healthy Holiday...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/11/25

Holidays are naturally stressful for most of us, but add in a narcissistic mom and it becomes a whole other stressor.Part of our generational dysfunction is putting up with stressful situations with our moms year after year with holiday get-togethers. This year it can be different if you decide to stop the old habits.It’s not easy, and I have done it so I know what I speak of. In the long run, it is so worth it. The holidays I share today with my own adult children and grandchildren are filled with

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29:21

How To Discuss Purity With Your Child When Your...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/11/18

How many moms raised their kids in the 90’s purity culture?I sure did, and while I did it with good intentions if I could go back in time, I would have done some things differently. One thing I did do was keep the lines of communication open with my daughters so they knew they could always come and talk to me about anything.Listen in as I discuss this meaty topic that may be an unpopular opinion with some, but may help others with a great way to talk to your kids about life issues.This week's

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23:17

When You Can’t Trust Your Mother with Family...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/11/11

What do you do when your mother bad-mouths your in-laws and you tell your husband and now she is angry with you?Well, let's track the reason why she felt the need to talk about them in a cruel manner in the first place. Sometimes we can trust our moms with private information, and sometimes we absolutely can not! In this episode, we will explore this topic from a mom who is dysfunctional and does not have your best interest at heart.This week's episode came from a listener! I love hearing about

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23:38

How We Can Use The 'Winter Arc' To Finish The Year...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/11/04

Today, we are discussing the “winter arc,” or the last three months of the year, and how we can reset anything that hasn’t worked so far.Just as the leaves change color and fall away, it is also a time for fresh growth. We can do the same with this year's old habits. We can restart and move away from the things that need new growth.This is the thing with the beginning of a new year. We get to dig in and lay low but also regroup and rethink about what's to come. We can start to dream and pray for new

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41:04

Parenting, Patterns, and Forgiveness A Conversation...

The UnMothered Podcast ·

2024/10/28

Michelle S. Lazurek is a multi-genre award-winning author, speaker, pastor's wife, and mother. She is a regular contributor for ibelieve.com, and crosswalk.com and has written for Focus on the Family, Campus Crusade for Christ, and Christianity Today. She also is a literary agent for Wordwise Media Services. When not working, she enjoys sipping a Starbucks latte, collecting 80s memorabilia, and spending time with her family and her crazy dog. For more info, please visit her website

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