The Nuance Diaries

You might be wondering what the hell I have to say to you that’s important enough that I’d post something on Christmas Eve. CHRISTMAS EVE!! A day often, rightfully reserved for last-minute shopping, cooking, seven fishes dinners, holiday movies, and maybe some semi-peaceful (or at least tolerable?) time with loved ones.Or maybe - you’re excited to be hearing from me, in which case…Either way, I deeply value your times so I’ll get right to it.If you’re having an amazing holiday season devoid of

Wild Cozy Free is a reader-supported publication. Paid subscriptions + donations are deeply appreciated!https://ko-fi.com/alexajuanitajordanhttps://wildcozyfree.substack.comLet’s talk about exhaustion, coziness, Wicked, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Single All The Way (my go-to Netflix holiday movie), why it’s hard for me to start a new TV series, and how important my fictional friends are to me.Let’s talk about how to process things publicly, without giving everyone the nitty gritty

My brain is amazing at picking out one seemingly inconsequential detail about a person and then using that detail to spin an entire imagined narrative about why their life is better than mine. That girl in the matching athleisure set jogging in Central Park? She works out every single morning; she’s more disciplined than me.The construction worker laughing with his buddies? He has more joy in his life and doesn’t sweat the small stuff.The really friendly cashier who compliments me on my choice of

This is another, I wanted to wait until I was ready, kind of post.One of my friends referenced the opening line of my very first essay over here at substack during class last week. The sentiment resonated with her, and many of our peers. I decided to become a life coach shortly after starting this blog. I hit publish on my very first post over here in May, and started class at the end of June.It isn’t something I’ve been building up to for a while. It isn’t something I even fully had a grasp on

TW: explicit discussion of eating disorders and body dysmorphia. It’s okay to skip this week if you need to ❤️My ‘Oy with the Poodles Already!’ Gilmore Girls T-shirt no longer fits me comfortably. Neither does my ‘In Omnia Paratus’ one. They’re tight in the sleeves, and cling to my forearms.  I want to snap my fingers and shrink my torso so that I can fit into them like I used to. But I can’t do that. I’ve outgrown them. And that is a bitter pill to swallow. I refuse to part with these beloved

I’ve loved the phrase “God of the bathroom floor” ever since I heard it. It’s used by Glennon Doyle and Elizabeth Gilbert (in Love Warrior and Eat Pray Love, respectively) I used to say, people say that God is everywhere, but I think that God is in the bathroom because of the moments of rock bottom I’ve had on bathroom floors. That’s like my altar.-Glennon DoyleThe bathroom has always held space for the emotional weight of al of me, time and time again. Small or large. Simple or fancy. Ever since I

I’m back with another poem! I actually technically wrote this as a song, but it also works as a poem. You can listen to the voice over if you’re curious about what the melody sounds like. Here we go!The pain bubbles up inside me In ordinary moments When I’m wearing a dress Headed home from a party -Or the next morningWhen I’m on my own drinking coffee -Unspoken wounds  Heavy like tombs Carrying all I don’t say -Like “how are you?” I’m fine Well surprise, that’s a lieEven when all is wellBut you’d