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PODCAST

Flying Free

Natalie Hoffman

Flying Free is a support resource for women of faith who need hope and healing from hidden emotional abuse, spiritual abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Because of misogynistic theology taught in controlling and spiritually abusive churches, many Christian women find themselves in destructive marriages where there is an uneven power dynamic. Male partners use their status as a husband to gain power and control over a woman’s mind, emotions, body, social life, finances, and more. When she tries to get

religion & spirituality christianity

All Episodes

28:14

Can You Work Together with an Abuser? [299]

Flying Free ·

2024/10/29

In today’s episode, I answer a listener's question about co-parenting with an abusive ex and challenge the idea of "working together" with abusers. You’ll learn the importance of shifting the focus away from the abuser and toward personal healing and growth.Key Takeaways:Stop investing emotional energy into trying to "fix" or "work with" an abusive person. It's a cycle that leads nowhere.Redefine what it means to be a "father"—biological ties do not make someone a healthy or safe

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72:21

Sexual Coercion and Betrayal in Marriage [298]

Flying Free ·

2024/10/22

In this episode, Natalie interviews guest Anne Blythe, a leader in the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community. Together, they discuss the profound impact of sharing survivor stories, how lived experience can be just as valuable as formal expertise, and the damaging effects of sexual coercion in abusive relationships. Anne also sheds light on critical issues like manipulation, trauma, and reclaiming safety.Some Key Takeaways: Sexual Coercion and Abuse: Anne emphasizes how sexual coercion is

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35:28

How to Let Go of Shame and the Need for Validation [297]

Flying Free ·

2024/10/15

In today’s episode, I have a powerful and insightful discussion with guest speaker Bob Hamp as part of a live Q&A we did with members of the Flying Free Kaleidoscope about the complexities of emotions, particularly anger, and the challenges faced by those in emotionally abusive relationships. Here’s a summary of the key points and concepts:1. Understanding Emotions:Emotions as Drivers: Emotions are energy in motion that propel us forward and should be embraced rather than

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21:04

Why Does My Husband Act Like a Child? [296]

Flying Free ·

2024/10/08

Understanding and Overcoming Emotional Abuse: A Journey to Personal FreedomIn this episode of the Flying Free Podcast, Natalie reflects on the power of transformation and shares profound insights from both the Flying Free Kaleidoscope community and the personal stories of women who are seeking freedom from abusive relationships. With heartfelt testimonials and a listener’s deeply personal question about navigating a difficult separation, this episode delves into the complexities of

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66:48

When You've Been Hurt by Church [295]

Flying Free ·

2024/10/01

Aimee Byrd, a well-loved guest of the Flying Free Podcast, is back again to tell us the story behind her newest book, The Hope in Our Scars. It’s not a pretty present of a book, wrapped in neat paper and topped with a bow. It’s real, it’s raw, and it’s full of beauty, and that’s exactly what this conversation is as well. Aimee went through some unfathomable spiritual abuse and says, “That's what led me to write The Hope in Our Scars because I did find Christ intimately present with me

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34:27

Interpreting Toxic Texts [294]

Flying Free ·

2024/09/24

Have you ever gotten a toxic text from a friend, a family member—maybe your spouse? The women in our Flying Free Kaleidoscope have the opportunity to post the toxic texts they receive so that we can help them process, and I came across one I just couldn’t wrap my brain around, it was so incredibly full of toxicity and falsities. So today’s episode is breaking down this particular abusive text that one of my members received, and honestly, it can actually be quite interesting once you get

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42:02

Am I Being Emotionally Abused? [293]

Flying Free ·

2024/09/18

Have you ever wondered, “Am I really being emotionally abused? Is it considered emotional abuse if my spouse is lying to me? Gaslighting me? Ignoring me? What are the kinds of mistreatments we can actually call ABUSE? My friend, this is a question I’ve been answering for other women for almost a decade now. This is my my life’s work. My passion. Let me help guide you just a little bit in today’s episode as we do a deep-dive on emotional abuse: what it is, how it destroys lives, and what we

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46:00

Sick of Being Emotionally Stuck? This Changes...

Flying Free ·

2024/09/10

Many years ago I paid $150 an hour for counseling. If you do the math, that comes down to $25 for every ten minutes of her time. Yes. I was paying $25 for someone else to listen to me for ten minutes. I would tell her what new horrors I had experienced the week before, and then she would validate and empathize with me, and then I would go home.That’s expensive. $25 is a lot of money to pay for someone to listen to your troubles. And was it moving the dial in my life? Was it worth that $25

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38:02

The Deconstruction Books That Have Changed and Healed...

Flying Free ·

2024/09/03

Books are like buses. When you open up a book, it will take you to a new place. It will take you on a new adventure. Sometimes the book will take you on a journey of the imagination to a new country or a science fiction place. Sometimes the book will take you on a path of learning you've never explored before, and that path will lead you down other paths, and then those paths will lead you down even more paths, and you will be able to meander through information that delights your mind and

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51:42

The Longings of Women [290]

Flying Free ·

2024/08/27

We read an incredible book in our book club that is a part of Flying Higher, my program for divorced Christian women. This book healed me in ways I didn’t expect, and I think the women in our book club would say the same.Our discussion on this book was so powerful that I just had to let you all listen to a portion of it, so that is what today’s episode is all about!Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out the book we spent this whole episode talking

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28:05

Confession, Repentance, and Guilt, OH MY! [286]

Flying Free ·

2024/07/30

Have you ever felt guilty about taking care of yourself? “I don’t deserve to be taken care of, plus I have too many other responsibilities, how am I supposed to make time to take care of ME?!”Let me help dismantle this belief and show you that you do deserve some self-care, and, in fact, need it. I also received an interesting question in the Flying Free private forum about IFS (Internal Family Systems). This member wanted to know how she could accept and have compassion for her “bad” parts

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66:12

A Closer Look at Spiritual Abuse: Interview with Dan...

Flying Free ·

2024/07/09

Joining me for today’s fascinating episode is Dan Koch, podcaster and spiritual abuse researcher. Dan has created an incredible tool called the Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale, and he breaks it down for us as we talk about spiritual abuse and the heavy impact it has on people’s lives. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Check out Dan’s Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale. Also mentioned in today’s podcast episode was Dr. Keller’s Spiritual Abuse

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55:10

Emotional and Spiritual Abuse Survivor Q&A [282]

Flying Free ·

2024/07/02

Sometimes a woman will say, “I decided to leave, but now my abuser is being so nice to me! What should I do?” Unless an abuser has found a new source of supply, the abuser will want to maintain control over you. He’s been observing what makes you tick for a long time. He's been observing what works and doesn’t work to emotionally manipulate you. He knows how to both push all your buttons AND pull on your heartstrings. One of the ways he knows he can pull on a nice girl's strings is to

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46:02

Forgiveness After Trauma [281]

Flying Free ·

2024/06/25

“In this book, I want to share parts of my journey paired with reflections based on my background as a biblical scholar to make available forgiveness paths different from the harmful ones so often proffered in the name of God.” Susannah Griffith’s book, Forgiveness After Trauma, does exactly that, and it is now my absolute favorite book on forgiveness. In today’s episode, Susannah and I sit down and talk about how we can look at forgiveness in a more healing way than we are accustomed

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19:42

Projective Identification in Abusive Relationships [280]

Flying Free ·

2024/06/18

Abusers will project their own inner identity and issues onto their victims. Let’s talk about what that means, how it impacts a survivor, and what you can do about it. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:The YouTube video that inspired this episode, “Projective Identification Explained.”The book by Tina Swithin I mentioned, Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle. My newest book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from

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28:01

What I'm Reading, Listening to, and Thinking About

Flying Free ·

2024/06/04

I have been learning and reading and going to conferences and doing ALL the things recently, and I want to tell you all about it! This episode is a fun one where I let you in on what I’ve been up to and share a few golden nuggets I’ve found along the way. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question hereRelated Resources:Book I’ve been reading recently: After by Dr. Bruce Greyson, It’s Not You by Dr. Ramani, and Still Life by Penny Louise.Check out my new favorite podcast, The BEMA

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38:57

How to Reframe and Recover From an Abusive Sermon

Flying Free ·

2024/04/30

Once upon a time, I dared to write a letter to the pastor of a church I was attending at the time (after having been excommunicated from another church for telling the truth about my life, requesting help, and then acquiring a divorce to protect myself). In my letter, I wrote that his sermon that morning did not take into account abuse survivors' experiences—survivors who were probably sitting in the pews that morning confused and scared about what he was preaching at them. I wanted him to

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13:45

A Story that Perfectly Describes Emotional Abuse

Flying Free ·

2024/04/23

Today's podcast episode features a chapter from my new book, All the Scary Little Gods. It's an analogy I wrote several years ago when I was trying my darndest to explain my situation to people who couldn't wrap their brains around it.In the years since that time, I've heard from countless Christian women how much it helped them understand what they were going through. Today you can listen to this story as it was recorded for the Audible version of All the Scary Little Gods. I hope it

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56:46

Holy Ghosted: Spiritual Anxiety and Religious Trauma

Flying Free ·

2024/04/16

Have you ever been ghosted by someone? They disappeared from your life, seemingly into thin air? Have you ever been worried that God might ghost you, especially if you don’t dot your “i”s” and cross your “t’s?” Spiritual anxiety is common among Christians, and Tiffany Yecke Brooks wants to break that down with you inside her newest book, Holy Ghosted: Spiritual Anxiety, Religious Trauma, and the Language of Abuse. In this episode, Tiffany answers questions such as:“What is the definition of

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37:56

Reframing Nasty Things People Say to Victims

Flying Free ·

2024/04/09

“Why do you keep bringing up the past?”“You can't have boundaries with me. You're my wife.”“You're too sensitive.”“I said I was sorry. You need to accept that. Let's choose to have a good day now.”“You think you're so perfect.”Do these phrases sound familiar? They certainly sound familiar to me. I want to show you some ways you can combat these words your abuser throws at you, even if you’re just combating them in your own mind. You don’t even have to say anything out loud (because we all

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